gah. time for yet another road trip. to be honest, i'm not too thrilled about it atm, but let's hope it'll get better.

enjoy your nye bunnies, and see you back on the same bat channel next year!

the return of an old friend

"she knew she was complete.
it said so on the package.
with three holes and all.
still she could not stop wondering if there was more to it..."

i haven't been drawing for years and for some reason i felt like picking up a pencil tonite. must be the cider.

to my surprise, after throwing away the first few idle pages, my old friend 'plastic prostitute / perfect date' also known as every man's dream appeared on the corner of my drawing pad. i did a book, a series of prints and a video featuring her in my second year of uni, but haven't seen her since.

i wonder why she's back?

these two characters appeared too:

'she so wished she could stop smiling.
little jill had grown up years ago
and being abandoned in the attic for so many years
made the doll want to scream, but she'd settle for a good cry...'

'oh, how he roared!
to him, it made no difference that he was made out of paper.
he was still a tiger.'

i <3 tony bianco - part 3

bunnies, aren't they gorgeous?

i had drooled after this particular pair for months and only mentioned 'a gorgeous blue pair of biancos' to deviant in passing.

when the poor thing was stressing over my present, he remembers me mentioning the shoes and goes researching tony bianco shoes online and then calling up the stores one by one. in the end he found a store near my work that he figured i had seen the shoes in and rocks up going 'blue suede pair of tony biancos in size 7. help me!'

isn't that adorable? i mean, do things get any sexier than a man who goes buying shoes for you?

christmas hols: over and out!

phew. finally its over. christmas that is. while i love the food and certainly appreciate the excuse to go on a 5 day bender, i don't think i could have taken another day of it.

i went down the coast with deviant's family and while the weather sucked big time, we still managed to enjoy the beautiful south coast nsw scenery. i wen't full on snap happy and even after deleting the average shots, my iphoto library got 150+ photos fatter.

don't worry bunnies, i won't bore you with the lot of them, but here's a few piccies to give you an idea of what i was shooting over the holidays:

sorry bunnies, but this time i'll just have to leave you with the photos and provide the ranting a lil bit later. to stop a good portion of the christmas ham consumed over the past few days from making a permanent camp all over my hips, i need to go and dig up my running shoes...

reading & quoting

'believe it or not, i do not thrive on trouble with men, and i'm not one of those women who choose the same dysfunction, whatever it might be, in a man after man and obliviously revel in it. no, my pattern is to pick a different dysfunction every time, discover it, and run away as fast as i can.'

heh. even tho this quote comes from some random trashy chick novel, i couldn't have said it better myself.

and bunnies, just in case you are having trouble picking that perfect lil xmas prezzie for me: i want one of these.

merry christmas bunnies

jason timberlake sure knows how to treat a lady...

trippy shit

i think i have mentioned this before, but there's this guy at work - the fin man - who's a dead ringer for mr. pinstripe. (and for those who weren't reading my rants when mr. pinstripe was in the picture, i also referred to him as mr. big due to my mess of a social life's uncanny resemblance to sex and the city)

i thought it was odd enough to meet someone with such alikeness, but no, oh no, it keeps getting weirder.

on friday this same fucken bloke - who's normally very casually dressed as he works at the loading dock carrying furniture and shit around - walks into the party wearing a fucken pinstripe suit and a bloody name tag saying 'mr. big'.

i swear bunnies, someone's messing with me, and who ever that someone is, s/he must be having a fucken ball.

'...and australia's still like double-u-tee-f mate?'

shaken not stirred

oh dear.

we had the crucial task of organizing a kick arse christmas party with miss pearl this year. so we fucken did.

we decided to go with a bond theme and assign everyone with new identities on arrival. i of course stole 'pussy galore' while miss pearl went with 'plenty o'toole'.

everyone could either dress up as their role models or just glam it up casino style. since i didn't have the time to hunt down a blonde wig, i opted for the latter and stole miss pearl's hair extension instead.

i absolutely love the dress. i have been desperately looking for an excuse to wear it ever since retro doll gave it to me some months ago and it went perfectly with my new gorgeous black suede tony biancos.

miss pearl, super mario & tp utterly trashed but oh-so-glam

everyone got slaughtered. the night started with vodka martinis (of course) that were more like rocket fuel than civilized drinks. and i can tell you bunnies, it was down hill from there.

me and the boys - now *that's* what i call a party!

i was well off my tits by 10pm when deviant arrived - as a knight in shining armor - to carry me into his car and take me home. and thank fuck he did! i would have honestly died if he hadn't.

despite the very early night, it took a handful of painkillers topped with a valium to get my arse out of bed around 2pm. i swear i had the whole cast of fucken fraggle rock trying to split my skull before i was knocked out into the sweet oblivion for the first half of the day.

hard core.

mind you, the out-of-control alcohol intake seemed to be the theme of the night.

one of the guys had passed out in the dunny and ended up getting locked in for the night when everyone else fucked off around 2am not realizing that someone was still in the building. heh.

good value.

chicks on speed - we don't play guitars

kitty rok

i knew there was a reason i'm a cat person. pinky rok!

casino royale droolage

ok. i am officially converted.

see, i had a major issue with the new bond's pout. it just spells out 'way too much botox on upper lip' and i couldn't get over it.

however, i went to see the new bond last night. very entertaining.

mr daniel craig gets two thumbs up and an invitation to my wet dreams. anytime.

an unexpected like-minded soul

i was having an interesting conversation the other day. it started from love and relationships and moved on to future plans. i was arguing with a badly burned romantic person - who is, despite the past, still holding on to the hope of 'true love' - trying to explain that i don't believe in the 'happily ever after'.

its not that i don't think that its possible, i just don't think that its likely.

no matter how fantastic the person is you might meet today, you can never tell who that person will turn into tomorrow. not even mentioning the following week. besides, how could you know how you change yourself?

life is a constant evolving puzzle spitting out the pieces that no longer fit. its difficult enough to try to keep the image intact on your own puzzle, but if you're trying to keep on merging in two images into one, you're pretty much fucked. its doable for a while, but more often than not it comes to a point when the effort required overweights the payout.

instead of 'happily ever after' i prefer 'happy right here, right now'. the expectations regarding the future just end up being a strain and distracting from the current moment. and really, the present is all we have: the past is already gone and the future might never come.

i was told that i was both realistic and cynical and that my view was not only unromantic but also sad. probably guilty as charged.

i was reading the news and ran into an interview of cameron diaz. i think she summed it up pretty much along the lines of what i believe myself:

"you never know if relationships are going to work. you really don't," she says softly. "you can't say, 'i've found this person and we are going to spend the rest of our lives together' ... 'it's [more] like, 'i'm going to take a chance in this moment with this person that we are going to have something wonderful together for however long it is."

[smh]

relationships begin and they eventually end. and if you're lucky, you'll have a fantastic time in between. how long it might last, what happened before or what happens after that timeframe, is irrelevant.

it doesn't matter how many lovers that person might have had before you, or how significant they might have been, any more than it matters how long it takes for that person to move on afterwards.

what i believe really matters, is that you're able to live in the present and put all of you in that one moment that you do share.

cause if you can do that, then you might end up with a beautiful memory instead of a series of 'what if's...

and really, you never know, one day you might end up meeting a person who you can share a timeframe with that exceeds the days you have left on your lifeline. and now that i think abt it... isn't it really quite close to happily ever after?

retro glam

its time for yet another pinball piss-up and why not go for retro glam. just to make it more fun for myself...

finnish independence day

now bunnies, listen carefully: december 6th is finland's independence day. and it is a BIG DEAL. before 6.12.1917 both russia and sweden (with the occasional help of germans) used to tag team fucking us up the arse. one after another. again and again. but not since then. at least not officially.

so repeat after me bunnies: december six is for finland.

hence every year on december 6 we do a big ball in the precidential palace. the idea is that anybody who's anybody in the country (or well, the 1900 ranking on the top of the list) get invited and the rest of the nation sits home and watches on telly while bagging out the dresses.

kinda like an annual fug all you can buffet.

i have to admit that i miss the tradition being on this side of the planet. while the television broadcast is streamed over the net live, its the time difference that prevents me from watching it.

i just caught the last hour of the broadcast with my morning coffee... and it kinda made me miss finland a bit. or mebbe a lot?

i miss karjalanpiirakka... and sauna. not even mentioning salmiakkikossu.

oh well, decisions decisions. i've made mine and it didn't include the three above so must not whinge. instead, here's a (coffee) toast to good ole maiden of finland; way the go old broad, keep on kicking!

i <3 tony bianco

well, it was abt a time i replaced my everyday black heels and once again my beloved tony bianco came to the rescue:

i fell in love with this perfect black suede pair of tony bianco's lucky heels and treated myself to a pair.

today i feel like an everyday princess.

must be the december?

personally, i think the night between sunday and monday should last at least 24 hrs.

it must be that time of the year bunnies. everyone is going crazy. piss-ups, christmas parties, exhibitions, good movies, catch ups, the whole lot. everywhere, all the time.

had a frantic but very enjoyable weekend filled with good movies, yummy drinkies and catching up with people. all very good value.

also, saw an excellent exhibition: bunnies, if you're into video art, there's a fantastic exhibition at the art gallery of nsw: anne landa award for video & new media arts.

a few absolutely brilliant works (including tony schwensen, and monica tichacek, - i got the rest of the names mixed up so can only describe the work - the guy with the projectors on the floor, the martin place scene and i bet the penetration scene would have been much more interesting if only my index finger was longer...

definitely worth seeing and strongly recommended bunnies.

on sunday night i was so tired from it all tho that i just wanted to read my book and have an early night. what luxury.

ooooof...

went to the movies to see a flick that turned out to be full frontal hard core porno. mind you, it was great. i laughed my arse off.

i mean, if a movie begins with a scene of a man attempting to film himself performing auto-fellatio, it can't be all bad.

but yeh bunnies, if you want to see lots of flesh, sex and warped relationships between twisted people, shortbus was excellent.

>> the uncensored trailer can be found from here

justin bond: these people spend all night sucking cock and eating ass, and then hit the buffet claiming they're vegan.

after the movie we ended up checking out a series of disgustingly trendy clubs in the cbd. surprisingly the music was really good and i ended up shaking my arse quite a bit.

just woke up and still feel a lil fragile. mebbe i need a good healthy brekky. i'm thinking oporto's...

bad video 'art' leads to heavy alcohol consumption

phew. the light motorcycle seriously left the hands on wed.

i went to see the cofa grad show with retro doll and pg and man did it suck.

i thought i was about to sit down and watch a video art screening and couldn't have been more wrong. its not an art school, its a fucken design school.

90% of the stuff we saw was just plain awful and boring. think wanna-be-manga animations, tv commercials and other showcase shit. i mean, don't get me wrong, most of the stuff was technically alright and some even fantastic. but fuck me it was boring compared to what i am used to at uws.

the three last works were fantastic tho. they had idea, originality and technical superiority. (unfortunately i lost the program during my drunken adventures following the screening so i can't mention names here)

after the boredom we did what any good ole artist can do and got sloshed. like *really* sloshed and did a pub crawl all the way back to the cross. fucken funny i tell you.

i have a hazy recollection of getting rid of a few young romeo-wanna-bes attracted by my leopard skirt at the world bar. and drinking lots more.

in the morning i was fine but i couldn't say the same abt pg and retro doll. they ended up crashing at my place and they were pretty fragile when i had to get up to get to work.

lack of practice i say.

'jak sie masz? my name a borat. i like you. i like sex. is nice!'

just about the funniest shit i have seen. recommended for all you wrong-minded bunnies out there. 'my country send me to united states to make movie-film. please, come and see my film. if it not success, i will be execute.'

amos lee - shout out loud

a funny thing happened when i was walking to the train station on friday.

i was on my way to the exhibition opening all dolled up in 50s retro chic. i walked past a mum with two lil kids who were all staring at me in a manner that made me wonder if there was something seriously wrong with my appearance.

just as i passed the three, the lil kid started tugging away at his mum's sleeve and went:'mummy, mummy! is she a celebrity?'

cracked me up.

it sounded just like he had learned a new word and was hanging for an opportunity to use it in a sentence.

grad show piccies

grad show

tonight is the night.

time to piss-up with my fellow students and celebrate the completion of our honours year.

i am still sitting at home, charging up my camera, listing what needs to be done and of course deciding on which underwear to complement my pretty lil dress with.

tulip might be joining me for the party as deviant is showing up a few hours late. sunshine and muscles are prolly missing out on the night as they both had something else on. yeh, told the cunt off. heh.

deviant is missing one of the three days of his fishing competition and driving up from nowra just to drink up next to me on my big day. much appreciated. actually got a lil gift for him as a way of thanking him for all that he's done for me lately. a good man he can be.

today has been the day of interesting people

work was fun. i had my own santa's lil helper to keep me entertained and providing me with trinkets aplenty for photographing. the fin man i think i'll call him.

its quite funny actually, but he reminds me a lot of mr pinstripe. they look the same as well as are the exact same body type. they sound the same, use the same expressions, laugh the same and both of them even have an infatuation with scarlett johansson. scary.

the highlight of my day tho was definitely super mario saving my grad show outfit. i have been on a lookout for a white handbag for ages, but i've been unable to find one i would like and could afford. the ones i liked were expensive as all hell and the ones i could afford just looked like shit.

then as the saving angel he is, super mario suddenly decides to show me his collection of vintage handbags he's about to sell. the first thing i see is this perfect white lil 50's bag that is just made for my outfit. he sells me the gorgeous vintage oroton mesh dream for a ridiculous $20 and i couldn't be happier!

after i left work i walked into this exhibition opening alone.

i was expecting all of my mates to show up eventually, as most of then are pretty good when it comes to sniffing out free alcohol. however, no one showed up. not a single fucken alco. now this is going to suck i thought.

instead of bailing out, i just decided to sit down on this lounge and observe the people around me. almost instantly this lovely older lady opened up a conversation by asking what i thought of the show. i don't think she was too impressed.

a 'painter painter' she was. or that's at least how she put it. she told me stories of the artists squatting in the building that was later on going to become the artspace. she was beautiful, fascinating and she didn't think the exhibition talked of the wool area at all.

then there was a drunken girl passed out on the red carpet so i had to go in and have a giggle. she's great. never breaks out of character that maiden of finland.

then there was the man with the watery eyes.

he was in his forties and asked me for a cigarette. when i was unable to provide him with one, he said that it was alright, he didn't smoke anyway. he had just thought of asking me since i 'looked least offensive from the people around'. although he added that he's certain that i'm entirely capable of being offensive if i just wanted.

we concluded that we were of parallel universes that collided in that specific moment: in my universe the artspace provided free alcohol whereas in his people had to pay for their drinks. i think he might have slipped through to my universe tho, since he was gentleman enough to 'buy' me a free drink later on.

the rude man he was, he gave away the gift that nearly had my name on it right in front of my face. it was a sculpture he was about to leave behind. he said that he was already going to give it to me, but changed his mind and gave it to the lady instead.

she was my senior and had written a book about the seventies. i was unable to compete. mind you, personally i think it was the fact that he was just sour about me not giving him a ciggie. and me telling him how his universe sucked since there was no free alcohol.

he talked about philosophy, although we both agreed that it was a total mind fuck that one should steer clear of. we talked about puppets he hated and the sculptures he leaves behind. we talked about stories and writing. and lucid dreaming.

the entire day was very socially inspiring and rewarding.

i think i'll start doing more things by myself from now on. for some reason people tend to approach me when i'm left alone. maybe i'm not as offensive as i want to think of myself after all?

red hot summer heels

tp: 'oh... i think i was a bad girl again today'
deviant: *sigh* 'what kinda shoes?'
tp: 'red, shiny and very, very high...?'
deviant: 'mmm... sounds like they've got all the makings for a hot pair of heels alright...'

yes, i was bad. and yes, they're very, very hot. don't you think?

next time i'll mug her too...

fuck. nice start for the day to rob a lil old lady for her coffee.

i was getting my usual morning coffee while chatting up the hottie behind the counter. there was no one else waiting and i wasn't really paying attention when the chicky making my coffee announced the concoction she had just come up with.

i just grabbed the coffee and stormed off in my usual manner as i was - once again - late from work.

when i was already a fair hike away, the hottie comes running after me screaming 'excuse me... EXCUSE ME! that's not your coffee - and it's not soy!' and then i got the nastiest glare from this lil old lady who's coffee i had just done a runner with. i don't think she was too impressed.

so there i go, blushing and embarrassed, standing and waiting in front of the coffee joint again until the chicky puts the next coffee on the counter announcing out loud 'now THIS is your grande soy latte miss...' while giving me a very meaningful look.

fucken hell.

it should be illegal to leave the house before having the first caffeine dose. i am seriously not accountable for my actions until my blood caffeine level is high enough.

recovery

while my mind is already back to normal, my body is still recovering from the past few weeks. i think i really ran myself to ground this time.

the worst bit was that since this handy lil thing called lucid dreaming, i'd be spending the nights doing mental work and planning how to use the following day efficiently and then during the day i would just execute the plans of the previous night.

quite efficient and for a night or two that might work, but do that for a few weeks in a row and you end up utterly fucked. while i was sleeping alright i was not resting.

well, that damage was fixed by the first few good nights after the scholarship interview but i am still physically very tired. since then i have been just sleeping 10+ hrs /night and napping during the day. yes. i have officially become a pensioner.

the good(?) thing is that deviant shared this hectic experience with me and therefore is equally tired and in need of resting. we spent the entire weekend just watching movies, reading books snuggled up, napping together and reading books at the beach. and i can tell you bunnies, it was just what the doc ordered. in fact i thoroughly enjoyed my low key weekend.

what worries me a bit is that i ended up losing a fair bit of weight in the process too. i mean, i don't exercise at all, i eat big meals (and junk food regularly), candy daily, drink excessively and still keep losing weight. not a good sign. i'll have to see how the dust settles and see if i return back to normal. i have no desire to turn into a bloody anorectic twig.

hard core

wow. miss pearl came back from her trip to borneo with some seriously street cred scars on her upper arm. apparently she had attempted to take on a box jellyfish*. serious ouch.

hearing this only a day after i decided to break my no-swimming rule, is kinda unsettling.

(* = for those who are not familiar with this charming lil fella called box jellyfish, here's just the first quick quote i googled:

"box jellyfish is considered the most venomous marine creature. it can kill more people than stonefish, sharks and crocodiles combined. "

"venom: you have virtually no chance of surviving the venomous sting, unless treated immediately. the pain is so excruciating and overwhelming that you would most likely go into shock and drown before reaching the shore."

>> great barrier reef dangers )

john waters weekend

movies movies movies.

watched a few over the weekend. started out with blade runner (1982) as i ranted on earlier. heh. deviant absolutely hated it. tried to watch it twice. first time it took 5 mins for him to pass out. then he gave it another go the following day. 20 mins and he was asleep. i promised i wouldn't make him watch it again. he did try so that's fair enuff.

instead we watched cry baby (1990). fucken fantastic flick i tell you. i had never seen it even tho it was rather big back in the day. mr depp is absolutely edible and the whole movie is just fucken hilarious.

we continued the waters movie fest with a dirty shame (2004) the same night and had a ball with that too. fucken priceless. both highly recommended bunnies.

last night we finished the beach and movie fest w/e with the proposition (2005). which was excellent as well.

swimming counter: 4

went to the beach yesterday.

now while i can pull off the reading a book in the sun as well as prancing around in my bikini... as soon as i step into the waves i expose my scandinavian background.

usually, i don't swim. in fact, i practically never do. i've been in sydney for almost 4 yrs and i'm quite sure this is the fourth time i stepped into the surf.

see, we've got lakes. lakes mean still water. still. calm. pleasant. yes?

here? ha! the sea just bitch slaps you in the face and trashes you all over the place like the 50cent whore you are.

deviant ran straight in and i for some reason decided to follow. so i get to the point where my toes make their first contact with the water. my reaction? 'fucken freezing! no way i'm going in!' but before i had time to turn around on the spot, the next friggen wave came in and quite literally slapped me in the face soaking me. might as well go in then.

deviant seemed to have a ball pointing and laughing as i was doing my best drowning finn impression and he was bouncing around like a bloody dolphin. it was just that i was disagreeing with the seawater attempting to fill every and each one of my orifices AND trying to separate me from my bikinis in a rather violent matter.

dealing with the waves sorta got an extra difficulty factor due to one of my hands hanging on to my bikini bottoms and the other holding the top over my titties. which was prolly quite funny. i know i was having a good giggle myself.

quite masochistic, painful and embarrassing but also very entertaining.

"all those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain..."

yesyes. i'm talking abt blade runner.

see, i had watched the movie once abt ten yrs ago but could only remember the see-through raincoat replica getting slaughtered while running through a store window and rutger hauer sitting on the rooftop with the white dove.

watched it again tonight. deviant passed out after first 5 mins or so. but i watched all of it. and luveded every second.

i can see why ppl keep raving on abt this flick. fuck. ridley scott did this masterpiece back in 1982 which just abt blows my mind. half of it was copied into the fifth element (which would also be on my top-gawd-knows-how-many-movies-list).

any of you bunnies who haven't seen the flick or have seen it a decade or so ago, fucken watch it again. bloody brilliant.

graduating

its silly really. having already done grad show once, it doesn't seem like such a big deal now that i'm doing it again. i mean, don't get me wrong, i am excited abt it. but... but its just not the same.

maybe its just the graduation last april that ruined it for me. i can tell you bunnies, it was the worst fucken day of my life. you know kinda like the average birthday, christmas or nye - its bound to suck.

big dates in my life as such have turned into this anticlimax that i dread beforehand. i know its going to be a disappointment and i know its going to suck.

...so what really happens is that i most likely make it happen all by myself by fearing it in the first place. i don't know.

maybe its this whole living on the wrong side of the world thing. the vital part that is supposed to make those dates for me is missing. and i don't have enough faith in people to expect someone else - who is not obliged to by blood connection - to step in and fill the void.

maybe i'll just get too drunk to notice. maybe i'll start with tequila shots before the guests arrive. just like last year. but for that i need muscles. he cheered me up last time... let's see if he'll be there for me this time.

entertainment

alrighty bunnies, all the shit is over and done with, its time to start having fun again.

i am seriously deprived of any social interaction and in need of a night out. the fact that i ended up staying back at work for almost two hrs extra just because i was having fun is a fucken scary sign. the boys were being very entertaining and we ended up going through every topic from droolable men to scarlett johansson and everything in between.

i'll have to see what everyone is upto tomorrow, but i'd certainly be up for a drink of ten after work. mebbe even end up shaking my bum somewhere? i think i have done far too little bum shaking and attention seeking lately.

oh, bad news btw: citronella got dui'd* the other day. seriously not good. will need to bend him over my knee when i see him. such a bad boy he is.

now join me for a bowl of apple pie and ice cream...

(*dui = d.u.i. = driving under the influence)

a new beginning

here i am, enjoying a brekky at my new lil bachelorette pad after sleeping here for the first night. and tell you what bunnies, i slept like a baby!

the apartment has a very pleasant mood to it. you know that thing you feel as soon as you step into a place? this studio is calming, soothing and balancing. just what i need me thinks.

now the size of this studio is puzzling me a bit. its one of those places that seems quite small when you walk in. but then it suddenly sort of turns into something that seems quite spacious. and anyway, i thought it was abt the size of my previous place, right? well, i threw all my shit around the place and now there's still all this space. i mean, i could have a sofa with a coffee table in here and it'd still feel like there's space for more.

i think i will love it here.

i was such a good girl last night that i was able to sort out nearly all my stuff and i am ready to entertain here tonight. i have promised to cook deviant a dinner. i think i'll cook something really nice, get a bottle of wine to go with it and mebbe even do candles. he deserves all the pampering i can possibly deliver. such a good man he is.

now if only the fucken summer would arrive so that i can start abusing my new pool!

warning: system overload...

its insane how far you can push yourself before losing it.

the past couple of months have been flat out and it has only escalated over the past couple of weeks to the point that today i feel like i'm about to collapse.

would somebunny please just wrap me up in a straitjacket, wheel me into a mental asylum of some sort and just leave me there - preferably heavily medicated - to sleep for a year or two. pretty please with sugar on top?

in a nutshell? well had my final assessment on last wed (so spent the previous week setting everything up pretty much from 5:30am to 11pm every day). a job application with work examples to type up on thu. pack up for move fri-sat. come up with a concept for a scholarship interview before monday. make a scholarship interview presentation on sun. train all the way fucken west to attend the interview on mon morning. get back to city to arrange everything for the move as soon as the interview was done. EMPTY AND CLEAN MY ENTIRE APARTMENT IN FORTY-FUCKEN-MINS!!! and spend the rest of the night moving all my shit to the new place.

i wish i will never have to live through a period as hectic as the last couple of weeks. seriously, fucken never EVER again.

i honestly wouldn't have survived this all without deviant and its no exaggeration. last night as i collapsed on his bed ready to sleep for a week (or the few hrs i actually could before getting up at 5:30am again) i realised just how much he has done for me lately.

seriously, if from today onwards i'd spent all my waking hours serving him non-stop bjs while pouring beer down his throat and massaging his feet (all simultaneously of course) i could not even dream of settling my debt before xmas.

i think i'll start by cooking him dinner. mebbe as soon as tomorrow if i get all my shit organised tonight.

shit. that reminds me: today is the sca grad show and i don't think i can make it. i really really REALLY want to. but i just got another call from my new real estate agent saying that i need to go and sign yet another form right after work. and i am struggling even getting through the day at the office. and i need to get my apartment sorted out. i haven't even opened the first box yet.

mebbe i should switch from caffeine to speed?

hectic times

ha. not only did i fuck up big time at work this week, but miss pearl pulled a very similar brainless fuckup. its so soothing to know that i'm not the only brainless bimbo in this show ;)

--

right now i'm sitting at deviant's office typing away this post while waiting for him to set up for today's construction mission. i'll be trying my best to help him while he assembles the fan for my grad show work. then we're off to the uni to build my space and paint the walls.

hopefully we get everything done today so that we don't have to drive back there till monday.

flat out

such a bloody scatterbrain i have been lately! its hopeless. there's just too bloody much on my plate at the moment. not healthy.

i managed to do a really stupid fuck up at work this week. so stoopid that it makes me doubt if my eyesight has left me for good or if the little that has been left of my poor brain has been reduced into a pink block of play-doh.

oh well, shit happens i suppose.

if i would just get this honours shit out of the way, i could perhaps take it a bit easier for a while.

i had to re-edit my entire video this morning as i found out that the fan programming can only use full seconds. deviant is finishing off the fan today as well as programming it to operate in sync with my video. then we'll spend the entire w/e way out in the bush setting up the installation space ready for my viva voce next wednesday.

yeh, i'm shitting myself.

if i survive the viva voce as well as the setting up, i then need to type and send off a series of applications and proposals for jobs/scholarships/exhibitions and shit. then the following w/e i need to pack all my shit for moving. grah.

the only thing calming me down and keeping me sane is deviant being the perfect man and spoiling me rotten.

fridge magnets. i think i'll start collecting them from now on. here's the first one to start my collection.

what a drama i am having!

*growl* network issues. serious ones. and no, i'm not a happy lil chicky. but hey, [insert here gary oldman 'zorg' accent] 'what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger' [/accent].

so yeh, i am dropped down on 56k dial-up until i can finally get the broadband up and running in my new place after moving in.

weekend was most entertaining. on friday we had a night out with deviant, sunshine and tulip. one of the funniest night outs i have had for a while i must admit.

sunshine was sloshed already by the time he showed up at my place, deviant was cooking supa-delicious dinner and i got to be both girly and pampered with tulip.

the boys got along splendidly and did their best to entertain us chickies with live music, as deviant brought his guitar with him. tulip shares my fetish for guitar playing hotties, so we couldn't have asked for better program for the night.

i was wearing my funky candystriper dress with some serious 4.5 inch heel action and got the attention deserved both from deviant as well as other people once we ventured out into the public.

on saturday night we just had a quiet one with deviant watching thank you for smoking, which btw is an excellent flick. so many fantastic quotes.

on sunday deviant cooked me an uber-yummy brekky of french-toast with maple syrup and ice cream. yum yum YUM. and later on i joined him for a trek along the beach rocks to go squidding at sunset.

funny thing was that the spot was on an unofficial gay nudist beach... have to admit bunnies, that i have never seen so many cocks in one day. mind you, old and wrinkly most of them. funny shit.

of course there was no squid to be caught, but i was fully enjoying a chance to get the ladies out in the sun for once and honestly, watching deviant fish is fucken hilarious. he's a travelling one man's entertainment show that one. i only wish i had video footage of him doing ninja-like casting while screaming out his squid-call 'heeeeeeeeerrree squiddie-squiddie-squiddie!'

he is clearly insane. or on crack. or possibly, both.

house hunting update 03

score!

apartment no4 was just as good as the ad promised so i left in an application straight away and the agent called me back 1,5 hrs later to tell that not only was the application approved but also that she got the rent down $5.

so now i've got a new gorgeous lil bachelorette pad in a full security building with a beautiful pool, 10 mins closer to the city and $15 less/week. fan-fucken-tastic.

scandinavian efficiency hey?

couldn't really get any good piccies of the apartment cause the previous tenant is still living in the apartment and packing atm so there was boxes and shit all over the place, but here's my window with the pool view.

house hunting update 02

crap. unexpected setback with apartment no4.

i went to inspect it today and the real estate agent showing the place had the wrong keys. was not at all impressed.

however the building was even nicer than i expected and everything seems perfect so far. the pool area was gorgeous and my windows would all face the pool.

with some luck i'll be able to go and see the apartment tomorrow again and this time actually get to see the apartment too.

could this be it? keep your fingers crossed bunnies!

cupid?

uh-oh, here we go again bunnies. see, i'm brilliant with bad ideas. when ever i get bored, i'm willing to stir anything for a lil bit of entertainment.

saturday was one of those days when i felt like a lil entertainment would be nice and what's more entertaining than social experiments?

i sorta ended up playing cupid between sunshine and tulip.

you know, you've gotta pass on the good meat that you're done with, right? i mean that's how i met deviant. his ex set us up. so i thought that what the hell, this might as well be my turn to "pay it forward".

so i gave tulip sunshine's mobile number for some sms filth. and then i introduced them to each other online.

as they are both equally fucked up, they seem to be getting along marvelously! now i'm just sitting back and observing. quite like an ant terrarium. ...xcept with no ants. and no terrarium. ok, not at all alike but still entertaining.

mind you, i did add in the exclaimer that i'm not to be blamed whe-... erm *if*, i meant to say if things go sour. heh.

drukn part kazillion-and-one

yeh. i'm tiny and he's a giant. i'm on 4.5 inch insanely high stilettos and barely reach his bloody shoulder!

i think i have a thing for tall men. tall, dark and handsome. yum yum yum. i believe its called the mr. darcy syndrome?

tuesday, sunny tuesday...

well, today seems to be starting a lot better than yesterday.

not only did i wake up with deviant tightly wrapped around me (which is by far my fav way of starting a day) but also, the first thing i read this morning was an email inviting me to submit my work to another exhibition in europe.

this london based curator emailed me suggesting that i should submit my work to be considered for her next exhibition in london. the event sounds perfect for my babies and what's best, the dl for the submissions is 3 weeks after my viva voce. so i have enough time to do this one well too. sweet.

london would be cool. that'd be one of the big ones ticked off my list.

--

also, today is potentially a good day for house hunting. i'm seeing apartment no4 which is on a street i love and sounds fantastic. keep your fingers crossed bunnies!

house hunting update 01

hmmm... apartment no3 was quite adorable. i mean, there's no water views and it wasn't in as good shape as my current place is, but there was definitely something abt it.

apartment no1
big but in bad location. ugly carpet. awful condition. noisy. not good at all.

apartment no2
quite cute but small. polished floors. dark. average, but better than no1.

apartment no3
quite spacious studio in a beautiful art deco house. a good size separate kitchen (with gas stove!) and a cute little alcove separated with french doors. also, polished floors which i love. very cute and a bit cheaper than my current place. this one has potential.

scandinavian efficiency

now i wonder where i would be without my beloved scandinavian efficiency?

got a rather unpleasant phone call first thing this morning from my real estate agent. apparently the owner wants to sell my apartment. now i don't know about you bunnies, but i could come up with better ways of starting a week than 'yeh abt your home... we're selling it. pack up and fuck off!'

i know i could stay in my apartment for a month after they sell it, if they ever sell it that is. but fuck hanging here just waiting for them to tell me what to do and when. i'd rather go on my own terms. and fuck having strangers herding in twice a week while i'm not in. that's just not kosher.

so yeh. fuck them.

well, i walked into the first real estate agent, picked up the cutest boy in view and went: 'you there. i want this-and-this. now.'

so yeh, i'm seeing three apartments within few blocks from my place this arvo. sweet.

track of the day

i can't stop listening to this one. hope you enjoy it as much as i do bunnies.

definitely drukn.

tell you what bunnies, i must be turning into a bloody pensioner!

when i know there's no rootage to be achived, i am ready to pass out by 10pm. that's no good.

i went out with sunshine, since tulip bloody piked out. (that bitch, i will SO bash her for it once she pops online tomorrow). not only was i lacking the entertaining company of one hot bitch, but also i had to listen to sunshine whinge abt me not coming through with the hot meat i had promised.

well fuck them both and the horsies the rode in on.

yes bunnies, i might be slightly tipsy. or mebbe drunk.

sunshine had a plan b up his sleeve even if it didn't involve the sister. heh. poor funny bugger that one. very good value. remind me to introduce him to you irl bunnies one day. if i haven't already done so that is.

he dropped me home in a cab on his way to the city to score this glorious plan b. i know he can't blog abt any of the good shit so i'll do it for him [insert here drunken giggles]

there is actually a very funny story involving me, deviant, a drunken random chicky and sunshine from a few months back. and mebbe one day i'll blog it. but not just yet. heh. too funny.

--update

oh, what am i whinging. she's a good woman. heh. she woke me up around 11:30pm with a phone call and would have been up for joining our merry crowd... if i hadn't already been asleep and sunshine hunting meat somewhere on the other side ot the town that is. next time. there's always a next time.

sa-turd-ay

today, i feel social.

yesterday was painful and i just spent it as a trembling lil mess locked inside my luvly lil apartment not even considering seeing anyone, or even daylight for that matter. far too painful.

however, today is a new day. deviant is fishing down the coast all w/e so i am feeling like a lil my time out... cause you know, 'i am my favourite person' as my new motto goes.

yes bunnies, my narcissism has reached a new high.

i've promised to catch up with sunshine over a few drinkies. the bastard owes me SO many drinkies its not even funny.

also, there's tulip that i haven't seen for yrs so i might try to combine the two. besides, it'd be oh-so-entertaining to see sunshine bust his nuts trying to pick her up and watch her shooting him down repeatedly. the more that i think of it, the better the idea seems.

also, i want to go to the movies. haven't done that for bloody ages. so mebbe i'll try to come up with a movie-dinner-and-drinkies combo. that always works.

when, oh when will i learn?

yesterday was an abortion.

we had a preview night at work on thursday and i invited deviant along. the original idea was to have *a* glass of white, say hello to ppl, show my face and fuck off.

*sigh*

we ended up sitting there till the end, pouring cheap champers (me) and red wine (him) down our throats and eventually travel out to the cross for a night cap and oportos. while the night was great fun, we were so trashed when we got back that its not even funny.

in the morning, the poor thing had to get up at 6am to go to work but fortunately i had the day off. which was my saviour cause - and this is the lesson that i never seem to be able to learn - fucken cheap champers gives me the worst hangovers.

i woke up with a splitting headache and no painkillers in the house. owwie. i tried to get up a few times, but the headache always got the best of me and back to bed i went. eventually, i got up at 3pm, still feelin a lil bit wobbly.

so repeat after me bunnies: cheap champers - AUSTRALIA SAYS NO.

evolution?

heh. mate of mine emailed me the link to this video clip.

what really cracked me up tho, was his mate's reply:
"if you play it backwards you realise that what they actually did was take a really hot chick, and with computer manipulation make her a real munter!"

'DRUKN'? is that finnish for 'drunk'?

heh. why is it that photos from work drinkies look awful by default?

here's me and miss pearl - a few bubbly bottles prior to super mario's harem - posing with a bloke from accounts. unfortunately there was no (even remotely decent) piccies of us with mr super mario...

i am in love with her. this is my fav track at the moment. can't stop listening to her. so very quirky and adorable.

got glue?

tell you what bunnies, its a bizarre feeling not to stress.

the entire year so far has been just stressing with handing in one assignment after another and all the stress finally building up to the superstress of handing in my thesis*. in fact, that's pretty much been the story for the past four years. its kinda scary to face the end of my studies. what if i don't want to?

it feels like the precious stress - that i share such a strong love/hate relationship with - is the glue that keeps me together and operating. its the painful force that keeps the masochist going and being productive 24-7. i was kinda used to it... now i feel a lil bit alone.

after friday, i've just had this weird empty spot where the thesis-stress used to be. you know when in the back of your head there was always that something you needed to get into as soon as you had a moment of free time. now i've got free time and i don't have a clue what to do with it.

i think i need to find a new focus for my creative energy as soon as possible and keep it flowing. i should have a new project to get into as soon as my viva voce** is done. that's the only bit of uni stress left, and i can see myself hanging onto it as if it was the last pair of shoes in my size at a manolo sale.

also, it's looking like i might be facing more big changes than i was expecting, but i don't think i want to rant on about that quite yet. it would be in the 'good scary' category anyway. but more abt that later.

phew. got glue? mebbe i'll just start with a late morning coffee...

--

(* well, exegesis really, but since only someone doing practical honours knows what it is, i've grown tired of explaining the difference and have just decided to start calling it thesis to make my life easier.

** viva voce = 30min honours speach where i present my work to the examiners and defend my thesis)

super mario's harem

it was 40+ in penriff and while i luveded the heat, the first few stinky hot days do end up killing you every time. while i was all high on the 'fuck yeah summer is finally here!' feeling, it does wear you out so quickly.

i was so tired and buggered by the time i got to the city that i just wanted to go home and sleep. but there was a massive go away party at the office as one of the chickies is leaving us.

so i decided to go in for one... and got home gawd knows when drunk as a skunk.

it started off as a rooftop party at the office with the world of free alcohol. we got soooo trashed with miss pearl that it was hilarious. we decided that we were both super mario's women for the night. we walked through the city and entered the opera bar (which i hate) with his arms around the both of us.

a couple of our work mates walked in after us and heard the best comments from the other ppl walking behind us: 'fuck! either that man is gay or he's a fucken lucky guy!' cracked me up.

then as super mario was getting more booze for us (not a good idea) we got bombarded by some scottish guy with his sleazy italian mate. they thought they were The Studs[tm]. we just pointed and laughed as they were trying to start up a convo. we didn't give them much to work with.

i think i played every role from swedish to russian in that one prolonged pathetic attempt to start up a conversation. also, i think miss pearl declared that i was in fact sicilian at some point.

the poor scottish guy trying to chat me up was convinced that i don't speak a word of english, as i was switching between finnish, swedish and russian while answering him with the most convincing vacant drunken look on my face. and in the end he goes 'right. you can't understand a word i'm saying, can you?'

bunnies, you should have seen his face as i started talking to miss pearl a moment later. fucken hilarious.

just as we got bored with the game, super mario came in and stated that we were both his property and took us away from what had already turned into a nuisance. we walked out of the joint with his arms around us and he took us all the way to the cab.

now i've got the hurty head to prove that there was way too much free champers consumed. but hey, cheap and nasty: just the way i like it.

a world of weight off my shoulders

yes. as same guy already guessed in his comment, i handed in my thesis (exegesis) yesterday.

[insert here a big woohoooo]

it was so fucken unreal walking into the office and handing my baby in as 4 binded copies, that it felt like there should have been at least the press present to wittness such a grand moment in my life. instead there were two giggly overweight registrars who frowned at the title of my exegesis.

it was great none the less bunnies.

i had a major drama with printing my baby, as our fantastic office printer - that we have NEVER had problems before - mystically empties it's toners and killed it's drum the day before i needed to print. and of course the replacements never arrive on time.

then on the day that i'm supposed to hand my thesis in, i end up calling through all the bloody printers in the city who are all too busy to get anything done before monday and cost an arm and a leg (literally). i ended up calling the same printer that pg was using and got a quote that was half the price than the cheapest one in the city and the guy knew his business.

pg and retro doll picked me up from the station and then drove me around so that i could get mine printed and handed in on time. i couldn't have pulled it off without them! then we hit the pub by lunch time to celebrate. all in all a very good day.

one of my fav songs ever...

reamonn - supergirl

doors

opportunities are like doors. they're all around you but the difficulty is choosing the ones that are right for you. this can be applied to all the four main areas of life: home, passion, relationship and career.

for the past four years i've been living with my passion ranking as the top one. passion in this case being of course my art studies and all the three other areas have been following in it's lead.

however, now i'm nearing the end of my studies for the moment, as i am not planning to continue straight into another degree but instead plan to take at least a year or two off uni to get my head straight first.

now i find myself in a situation where i'm forced into choosing a new balance between the four main building blocks of my life. the natural choice i suppose would be career, but i'm not convinced if i want to live a career lead life again.

if i want to arrange things around my home, i need to get a high paying job to be able to afford living in sydney. this would eat away time from my passion.

if i want to keep letting my passion lead my life i am facing moving away from sydney in order to afford a house big enough to include studios for both printmaking and digital creation.

while i'm not ready to let the relationship part lead my life, it will definitely be included in the decision making process no matter which way i decide to go. i have been very happy in the relationship that i am in and don't wish to change that. hopefully i will see the doors that allow me to keep the relationship in healthy balance with the other areas of my life.

i know that the right doors will reveal themselves when i most need it, but this confusion is always as frustrating. waiting for the dust to settle down in order to be able to see clearly must be one of the hardest things in life. its so tempting to play it safe and leap through the first door that seems decent enough to compromise for. but then you miss the right one. and once you miss the right door, you miss all the consequent ones as well.

now if that bloody dust would just settle...

save uws arts

i received this email from sari and decided to post it since i know a lot of uws ppl read this blog.

Dear all,

As past students of UWS Fine Arts and as Western Sydney artists we are concerned both about the future of this course and effectively the resilience of art in the west without such a course to nurture and support future generations of Western Sydney artists.

We have set up a blog to initiate dialogue for all interested parties and on which we will post details of any upcoming events or protests that will promote the necessity of preserving Arts in the West. Please forward this email to any current students, past students, Western Sydney artists, and other interested parties.

Click on the link below to access the blog and please post or email any comments or suggestions you have as well as any relevant websites you would like us to link up to the blog.

http://saveuwsarts.blogspot.com/

From: Sari Kivinen (Spokesperson)

catheter kim & the crow

deviant's young padawan (his apprentice) had his 21st on the weekend and he had put up a massive horror theme party.

deviant decided to dress up as the crow and since i expected the place to be filled with black fishnets (and oh so right i was) i opted for the white ones and dressed up as a candystriper (thanks to muscles for the costume hint).

i didn't want to drag my beloved camera along with what was about to be a major piss-up and trusted that other people would take the pics instead. the only downside is that i have no piccies to post up now as we were in too much of a hurry to remember photos when we left.

fuck me it was difficult to find white stay up fishnets! i could find every bloody colour of the rainbow, but all the white ones were fucken tights. fuck that. eventually after going through *every* adult store in the cross i was able to find one pair of white fishnet stay-ups tucked away behind a pile of black ones.

i found the perfect dress for the outfit from newcastle and i already had the perfect uber-hot candy apple red high heels. all i needed was an enema bag, nurse's hat and an apron to finish off the outfit.

deviant was lucky enough to have such a professional make-up artist to provide him with the perfect face paint for the night. his hair was perfect for the look as it was and all he needed to finish off the look was a black pair of denims with a tight black long sleeved shirt. yum.

let me tell you bunnies: he'd make a shit hot goth boy.

half way through the night he confessed to developing a major shoe fetish during the past few months. fantatic. what could be more fitting to accompany mine - having a fetish for wearing beautiful heels - than someone who has a fetish for seeing them on me. sweet as.

done done DONE!

fnished my thesis. fucken fantastic! now i'll just workshop it through with my supervisor next week and i'm done.

time to hit the piss bunnies!

what a kerfuffle!

i haven't been able to login on blogger since my last post, hence there's been no ranting lately.

however, today i was saved by a knight in shining armour from blogger help and pointed out that this was - as usual - yet another case of s.u.e.* silly bridget.

really need to do some work now, but a lot has happened within the last week and a half and i'll fill you bunnies in as soon as i have the time.

however, now its thesis time and then some major preparations for tomorrow's fancy dress party.

(* s.u.e. = stupid user error)

south coast rok big time

as much as i love sydney, fuck its good to get away every now and then. especially when - like this time - you happen to score the perfect weather for a weekend by the beach.

deviant took me four hours down the coast for a late bday celebration with his family. which naturally meant fishing, piss-up and most of all the beach.

the weather was seriously spoiling us and i just pranced around in my luvly new bikinis pretty much the entire time... also, managed to provide the ladies with a lil bit too much sun and now my poor titties are lobster red and sore as all hell. not good.

on the first night there we were visited by a few very hungry and equally adorable possums. apart from them being cute as all hell, i am still enough of a tourist to get excited abt the hairy lil oz natives.

what made it especially cool was that the mummy on the rail here had a lil baby in it's pouch. now i have to admit that i don't know what to call the lil one... a baby roo is called a 'joey' but i'm not sure if a possum baby has such a default name?

--

you know the way every tv-show always has the comic sidekick? well, as far as our trips and piss-ups go, that's citronella. and fuck he does it well.

on saturday we went for a long walk along the beach to get to this specific fishing spot. the walk takes about an hour but the scenery was stunning and the spot was good so it was worth it.

we got to the spot and the men fished until sunset. when it started to get darker, we packed up and headed back towards the car hoping to make the whole one hour walk back before it gets too dark.

we were all pretty much buggered from the long walk in as well as spending the entire day in the sun fishing (or in my case going seriously snap happy). after walking for 10 minutes or so citronella started having some serious drama with the long walk ahead of us and suddenly decides to take a shortcut heading straight into the bush. yeh, not good.

abt 10 mins later the rest of us come to a clearing and he's nowhere to be seen. we sit and wait for him and start to get a lil bit worried since we can't see him and he's not answering our calls.

after waiting for a good 15-20 minutes we really start to get worried and plan what to do in case he's tripped on something and knocked himself unconscious somewhere in the thick bush around us.

just when we are getting both really pissed off and worried, he suddenly emerges all scratched and fucked up from the middle of the thickest part of the bush. before we had a chance to tell him off - and keep in mind that we were worried sick and seeing him still alive and relatively well turned all the worried energy into homicidal rage - he just goes "well, that sure wasn't the fastest way!" and nonchalantly marches past us to continue along the beach.

fuck i cracked up. i mean, you can't even be angry with this fuckwit. he's just too fucken funny.

we were keen on getting back as soon as possible and admittedly were walking pretty fast. poor citronella didn't agree with the fast pace at all and for the rest of the walk he was just ranting, raving and whinging on non-stop about - and i quote - "what a drama i'm having!" poor bugger.

later on we were sitting indoors enjoying a glass of laphroaig being all civilised and shit when citronella storms into the cabin. "well, i just did something i have never done before... i pissed on a kangaroo!" and after a lil think he continues "that was cool. i'm gonna go and do it again!"

bunnies, this man is truly an asset.

i have to tell you: there is nothing quite like seeing a six-foot-five giggling drunken bastard running around the camping ground with a beer in one hand and his cock in the other, chasing roos trying to piss on them.

absolutely priceless.