Monday, April 30, 2007

graduation retrospective

right. graduation. where the fuck should i begin?

in short, it was a bloody catastrophe.

the venue was even cheaper and dodger than last year, which alone was nothing short of a miracle. and naturally, since i had equipped myself with the hottest brand new black leather pumps and a skimpy lil black dress, the weather was a textbook example of a torrential downpour. great.

little did i know that this was merely the beginning.

see, this was supposed to be A Big Day. i was graduating with first class honours and on top of that scored a university medal that was presented at the graduation ceremony. nothing quite like strutting the red carpet with a medal in one's hand to stroke that academic wank of an ego.

well, there i go, waiting for my moment in the spotlight and watch my good uni mate pg strut through the carpet and pick up his perty lil trinket. next was going to be me. fantastic, i thought. this is it.

i hear my name announced - ignoring the fact that she made it sound like i was bloody italian - there i go stepping on to the red carpet. walk up to the dean to shake his hand. my moment.

well guess what the old geezer decides to ask? 'is your family here to celebrate with you?' no you fuckwit. and haven't seen any of them for years. thanks for reminding me.

but wait. it gets better.

instead of handing me my trinket, he just gets rid of me and sends me walking off the stage. furious, i return to my seat and spend the rest of my ceremony cursing him to the lowest of all hells while staring at my precious trinket sitting on the table in the middle of the stage.

so eventually, i end up receiving my university medal in the janitor's closet from the fucken janitor. the cunt had the balls to shake my hand too. congratulations my arse.

but as usual, that's not all.

as the icing on the cake, my honours supervisor ends up pouring his coffee into the bright white velvet lined box holding the trinket.

motherfuck.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

*sigh*

its been an amazing week.

like stealing a slice of goodness from under the nose of reality. i've been spoiled rotten like the feline goddess i am, purring in ecstasy and losing myself in the hedonistic wonderland of the moments when time seizes to exist.

unfortunately, like the ever certain might of mr. murphy, you can be sure that the inescapable grip of real life will tighten its hold on you eventually, and propel you on a collision course towards the harsh concrete floor of reality. the better the escape, the harder the impact.

i fear this will be rather painful bunnies.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

speaking of mind boggling shit

nine inch nails brings star trek closer...

Friday, April 27, 2007

mind boggles


nin - hurt


sad kermit - hurt


johnny cash - hurt

pressies? my favourite!

how good are mums?

i (finally) received a parcel from back home. mum has a knack for packing these perfect post packages of lil pressies and surprises. this one included everything from candy to finnish quality cosmetics and even a book in my native language. that'll be a delight to read.

however the reason i've been waiting for this parcel so impatiently, is that i knew it would contain a full length piece of marimekko kaiku 560! she even included a packet of matching napkins. how awesome is that?

now all i need to do is to figure out how to rig that up on my wall...



Thursday, April 19, 2007

posting spam: idiot of the week



'...but it worked so well for the coffee shop down the road...' rofl!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

the quiet ones

you know the way they say to 'always watch out for the quiet ones'? i think they might just be on to something on that one.

see, i got a new neighbour a few weeks ago. i've seen him a couple of times and he's the typical nice, quiet and cute young man. hasn't caused any trouble or noise apart from the initial few hrs of kitchen renovations and moving in. an ideal neighbour really.

or so i thought.

last night i was being a good girl and got to bed relatively early. only to be woken up a few hours later by these weird yelping sounds.

there i was, lying in bed trying to figure out what the fuck was happening when my groggy brain began to slowly put two and two together, and make sense out of the combination of the rhythmic *thud* *thud* *thud* and the "oh - oh - oh!" yelps. this went on for about 10 minutes and a silence followed. 'good on ya!' i thought and tried to get back to sleep.

but no. this was not it. a moment later her yelps returned with more volume starting from 'OOH - OOH - OOH!' and building up steadily to a ridiculous nocturnal concerto that seriously does not happen in real life.

clearly he was trying to kill her and she was screaming for her life OR she had just watched a few too many pornos in her time. i mean, give me a break! think of a movie in the style of american pie and the way they'd present an over-the-top-screamer. now place her in the next door apartment behind a paper-thin wall, and you are starting to get an idea...

the 45min built-up climaxed (pun intended) into a hilarious 'OOOH MY GAAAWD!' scream as my downstairs neighbour's kettle simultaneously boiled over and she opened her window to shout 'OH, SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY ! ! !'

i was actually laughing out loud! fucken hilarious!

mind you, i hope it was a fling! while it was entertaining last night, if the screamer attempts to become a regular visitor - i kid you not - i will strangle her with my bare hands.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

what a conundrum

right. i prolly have ranted about this before, but in case you haven't been reading: i don't do broadcast media.

it shits me. i don't own a telly and i don't listen to radio. and i believe my life is just that little bit more fulfilling because of this decision. (yes. i'm also a pretentious wanker, but then again you've prolly figured that one out already...)

my aversion to broadcast media can be boiled down to three major issues:

  1. i don't like to be told what to watch and when
    the idea that i'd be lined up with the rest of the brainwashed herd, only to sit back and consume the so-called entertainment on someone else's terms just doesn't sit right with me. i want to choose what i watch and when i watch it.

    i don't want to shorten my night's sleep just because something i want to watch is on late at night. i don't want to be forced to choose between two or more interesting programs just because the competing channels are broadcasting them at the same time. and i most certainly don't want someone else to dictate a menu for me to choose from based on what the average viewer might be interested in.

    cause let's face it, the average viewers are people, and people in general do not have a brain. and if they do, they're not likely to use it cause its so much easier not to. why think when the people on telly can do it for you?

  2. i can't stand ads
    the bad, loud, annoying and ever repetitive advertising just drives me to unparalleled rage. instead of forming my shopping list, ads are more likely to form the list of stores and brands that will never see my money. i don't eat kfc, i'd never rent an apartment from l.j. hooker(dot-com) and i would NEVER buy anything from fantastic fucken furniture. and yes, i am satan's little helper myself. heh.

  3. the poor quality of the available entertainment
    yes. its shit. enuff said.
well. the dilemma is, that i got a joost account. am i going to stay on my high horse and continue the foaming in the mouth rant, or will i succumb and start watching?

the temptation with joost is that the time issue is removed. i can choose what to watch and when. awesome i thought. and tested.

after a brief testing - spent a couple of hrs watching some indie flicks available on joost - i came to realise that while the biggest problem in broadcast media is fixed, the two other issues still remain.

the ads on joost are - if possible - even more fucken annoying than on telly or radio. the ads are thrown on you - at twice the volume - every few minutes with no prior warning.

i was trying to watch this excellent emotive indie short flick on child prostitution, and the experience was just completely wrecked by MAYBE SHE'S BORN WITH IT - MAYBE ITS MAYBELLINE every few minutes. fucken intolerable. next time i need to buy a mascara, i will surely skip the maybelline one i'm using at the moment even tho i'm happy with the product. fuck that shit.

and what comes to the selection of entertainment, the issue with joost was not so much the quality of the programs available (as the indie flicks were great), but the problem was there's not that much to choose from. but that'll be prolly fixed as time goes.

the verdict? not that impressed.

i think i'll still stay telly free. i'd rather go to the movies or rent/buy a dvd so that i can at least enjoy my entertainment without interruptions.

besides, there's always diggnation. i am officially addicted. can i get kevin rose in a bottle on my desk? please? on the perfect male scale he's sharing the first place with dylen moran. yum.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

forster retrospective

i've been so busy this week i haven't even had time to comment on the easter spent at camp-not-so-relaxo.

everyone seemed to arrive after dark on thursday night. the fact that it was not only dark but also pissing down did not help. i dare say it would have been more peaceful camping at kings cross.

luckily the rain (ridiculous torrential pours non-stop thu-sat) wore the (no longer) happy campers out and the chock-a-block camping ground calmed down by fri arvo.

we had a massive piss-up on friday night to ward off boredom. it was sort of accidental. i mean we were supposed to hit the boozer for only a couple of drinks to get out of the rain. this was at lunch time.

by 3pm the drinks started to appear with tequila/'quick fuck' shooters, and it was all down hill from there.

we were lucky enough to crawl out in time to hit the 7pm courtesy bus back to the camping ground. any more drinks and deviant would have struggled to carry me back to our tent. heh.

however, the real show started when the rest of the boys crawled back.

young master ace was running amok declaring (to the entire camping ground) that he had tagged and released some 40+yo mama at the disabled toilets.

he had also managed to get banned from the boozer, provoked the courtesy bus driver to call the cops on him, and undo abt a half of the ropes securing the nearby tents by getting tangled on the ropes while rejoicing his recent encounter with the native wildlife.

all in one night. what a champion!

or was until the point where he decided to start cranking out the worst bloody doof doof on this planet. this was where deviant drew the line. he struggles with electronic music at the best of times and young ace was certainly pushing it. deviant stormed out of the tent and the music died straight away.

i am not sure if the surrounding tents were cheering out of gratitude when deviant returned back to the tent, or for the fact that he didn't have time to put any clothes on before his crusade...

the next morning poor ace had the hung over of his life, and was making rounds tent by tent apologizing for the previous night. priceless.


citronella & deviant


camp-not-so-relaxo


citronella & deviant getting their arse kicked in soccer by the neighbouring ankle biters.

universe from the creator of we feel fine


universe by jonathan harris

another brilliant online work of art. not quite as easy to get lost in as we feel fine, but still very engaging and impressive. even more so after seeing this video of the artist discussing his work.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

flatline

ooooof... when am i going to learn not to get sloshed on a school night?

see, i told you that i saw lou rhodes last night, right? well, i went there with e and birdy - two workmates of mine - and their dates. and everything went well up until the point when the gig finished and sunshine joined us with his mate captain anatomical wonder* in tow.

somehow we ended up sitting at broadway until way too late, finishing off way too many bottles of white, and enjoying yet another comedy club of pissheads competing in whose material was the most offensive and least politically correct.

in fact the competition was so fierce that the only thing we put more effort in was the drinking part. which naturally was not a good idea.

and i can tell you bunnies, this morning was not at all pleasant.

mind you it was made better by a text whinge from sunshine who was apparently even more hung over than i was. and what could possibly be more efficient in improving one's condition than comparing it to that of someone less fortunate?

(* the impressive nickname comes from a certain fucken annoying 5am phone call from sunshine. after kindly waking me up with no reason what so ever, he fucks off somewhere chucking the phone to his equally intoxicated mate, who then continues to explain - in painful detail i might add - his rather straight forward skank courting rituals based entirely on his self-proclaimed anatomical wonder)

i am in love

went to see lou rhodes at the gaelic club last night. she used to be the singer of lamb, but has since gone solo and acoustic.

she started the set with tremble (the video below) and i was gone from the very first notes. she's got the most beautiful voice and some of the lyrics are just so spot on*.

i fell so in love with her gentle tunes that i bought a signed copy of her cd. and i never do shit like that.

give her a go bunnies, she's definitely worth it.


(* if you venture out to her myspace, make sure you don't miss the track fortress)

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

free alcohol? my favourite!



how perty is that?

we went to an industry related happening on monday night with e - the other half of the creative team - and ended up winning a case of smirnoff a head. how good is that?

the pile is sitting at the end of our desk and i've been awfully thirsty ever since they were delivered. must be a pavlovian effect or someshit. while i can see a mighty hangover written somewhere between the lines, it is still a very perty sight indeed.

alanis still alive?



what a crack up! [via]

and just in case you need to be reminded of the sheer brilliance of the original version. i don't think lyrics have ever been able to reach such a depth before this.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

classic online strips

for some reason this is still funny to me:

brilliant online art

my boss showed this site to me on friday. its absolutely brilliant!



have a look bunnies, especially you arty ones: we feel fine