Tuesday, April 17, 2007

the quiet ones

you know the way they say to 'always watch out for the quiet ones'? i think they might just be on to something on that one.

see, i got a new neighbour a few weeks ago. i've seen him a couple of times and he's the typical nice, quiet and cute young man. hasn't caused any trouble or noise apart from the initial few hrs of kitchen renovations and moving in. an ideal neighbour really.

or so i thought.

last night i was being a good girl and got to bed relatively early. only to be woken up a few hours later by these weird yelping sounds.

there i was, lying in bed trying to figure out what the fuck was happening when my groggy brain began to slowly put two and two together, and make sense out of the combination of the rhythmic *thud* *thud* *thud* and the "oh - oh - oh!" yelps. this went on for about 10 minutes and a silence followed. 'good on ya!' i thought and tried to get back to sleep.

but no. this was not it. a moment later her yelps returned with more volume starting from 'OOH - OOH - OOH!' and building up steadily to a ridiculous nocturnal concerto that seriously does not happen in real life.

clearly he was trying to kill her and she was screaming for her life OR she had just watched a few too many pornos in her time. i mean, give me a break! think of a movie in the style of american pie and the way they'd present an over-the-top-screamer. now place her in the next door apartment behind a paper-thin wall, and you are starting to get an idea...

the 45min built-up climaxed (pun intended) into a hilarious 'OOOH MY GAAAWD!' scream as my downstairs neighbour's kettle simultaneously boiled over and she opened her window to shout 'OH, SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY ! ! !'

i was actually laughing out loud! fucken hilarious!

mind you, i hope it was a fling! while it was entertaining last night, if the screamer attempts to become a regular visitor - i kid you not - i will strangle her with my bare hands.

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