Wednesday, November 29, 2006

'jak sie masz? my name a borat. i like you. i like sex. is nice!'

just about the funniest shit i have seen. recommended for all you wrong-minded bunnies out there. 'my country send me to united states to make movie-film. please, come and see my film. if it not success, i will be execute.'

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Sunday, November 26, 2006

a funny thing happened when i was walking to the train station on friday.

i was on my way to the exhibition opening all dolled up in 50s retro chic. i walked past a mum with two lil kids who were all staring at me in a manner that made me wonder if there was something seriously wrong with my appearance.

just as i passed the three, the lil kid started tugging away at his mum's sleeve and went:'mummy, mummy! is she a celebrity?'

cracked me up.

it sounded just like he had learned a new word and was hanging for an opportunity to use it in a sentence.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Friday, November 24, 2006

grad show

tonight is the night.

time to piss-up with my fellow students and celebrate the completion of our honours year.

i am still sitting at home, charging up my camera, listing what needs to be done and of course deciding on which underwear to complement my pretty lil dress with.

tulip might be joining me for the party as deviant is showing up a few hours late. sunshine and muscles are prolly missing out on the night as they both had something else on. yeh, told the cunt off. heh.

deviant is missing one of the three days of his fishing competition and driving up from nowra just to drink up next to me on my big day. much appreciated. actually got a lil gift for him as a way of thanking him for all that he's done for me lately. a good man he can be.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

today has been the day of interesting people

work was fun. i had my own santa's lil helper to keep me entertained and providing me with trinkets aplenty for photographing. the fin man i think i'll call him.

its quite funny actually, but he reminds me a lot of mr pinstripe. they look the same as well as are the exact same body type. they sound the same, use the same expressions, laugh the same and both of them even have an infatuation with scarlett johansson. scary.

the highlight of my day tho was definitely super mario saving my grad show outfit. i have been on a lookout for a white handbag for ages, but i've been unable to find one i would like and could afford. the ones i liked were expensive as all hell and the ones i could afford just looked like shit.

then as the saving angel he is, super mario suddenly decides to show me his collection of vintage handbags he's about to sell. the first thing i see is this perfect white lil 50's bag that is just made for my outfit. he sells me the gorgeous vintage oroton mesh dream for a ridiculous $20 and i couldn't be happier!

after i left work i walked into this exhibition opening alone.

i was expecting all of my mates to show up eventually, as most of then are pretty good when it comes to sniffing out free alcohol. however, no one showed up. not a single fucken alco. now this is going to suck i thought.

instead of bailing out, i just decided to sit down on this lounge and observe the people around me. almost instantly this lovely older lady opened up a conversation by asking what i thought of the show. i don't think she was too impressed.

a 'painter painter' she was. or that's at least how she put it. she told me stories of the artists squatting in the building that was later on going to become the artspace. she was beautiful, fascinating and she didn't think the exhibition talked of the wool area at all.

then there was a drunken girl passed out on the red carpet so i had to go in and have a giggle. she's great. never breaks out of character that maiden of finland.

then there was the man with the watery eyes.

he was in his forties and asked me for a cigarette. when i was unable to provide him with one, he said that it was alright, he didn't smoke anyway. he had just thought of asking me since i 'looked least offensive from the people around'. although he added that he's certain that i'm entirely capable of being offensive if i just wanted.

we concluded that we were of parallel universes that collided in that specific moment: in my universe the artspace provided free alcohol whereas in his people had to pay for their drinks. i think he might have slipped through to my universe tho, since he was gentleman enough to 'buy' me a free drink later on.

the rude man he was, he gave away the gift that nearly had my name on it right in front of my face. it was a sculpture he was about to leave behind. he said that he was already going to give it to me, but changed his mind and gave it to the lady instead.

she was my senior and had written a book about the seventies. i was unable to compete. mind you, personally i think it was the fact that he was just sour about me not giving him a ciggie. and me telling him how his universe sucked since there was no free alcohol.

he talked about philosophy, although we both agreed that it was a total mind fuck that one should steer clear of. we talked about puppets he hated and the sculptures he leaves behind. we talked about stories and writing. and lucid dreaming.

the entire day was very socially inspiring and rewarding.

i think i'll start doing more things by myself from now on. for some reason people tend to approach me when i'm left alone. maybe i'm not as offensive as i want to think of myself after all?

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

red hot summer heels

tp: 'oh... i think i was a bad girl again today'
deviant: *sigh* 'what kinda shoes?'
tp: 'red, shiny and very, very high...?'
deviant: 'mmm... sounds like they've got all the makings for a hot pair of heels alright...'
yes, i was bad. and yes, they're very, very hot. don't you think?

next time i'll mug her too...

fuck. nice start for the day to rob a lil old lady for her coffee.

i was getting my usual morning coffee while chatting up the hottie behind the counter. there was no one else waiting and i wasn't really paying attention when the chicky making my coffee announced the concoction she had just come up with.

i just grabbed the coffee and stormed off in my usual manner as i was - once again - late from work.

when i was already a fair hike away, the hottie comes running after me screaming 'excuse me... EXCUSE ME! that's not your coffee - and it's not soy!' and then i got the nastiest glare from this lil old lady who's coffee i had just done a runner with. i don't think she was too impressed.

so there i go, blushing and embarrassed, standing and waiting in front of the coffee joint again until the chicky puts the next coffee on the counter announcing out loud 'now THIS is your grande soy latte miss...' while giving me a very meaningful look.

fucken hell.

it should be illegal to leave the house before having the first caffeine dose. i am seriously not accountable for my actions until my blood caffeine level is high enough.


while my mind is already back to normal, my body is still recovering from the past few weeks. i think i really ran myself to ground this time.

the worst bit was that since this handy lil thing called lucid dreaming, i'd be spending the nights doing mental work and planning how to use the following day efficiently and then during the day i would just execute the plans of the previous night.

quite efficient and for a night or two that might work, but do that for a few weeks in a row and you end up utterly fucked. while i was sleeping alright i was not resting.

well, that damage was fixed by the first few good nights after the scholarship interview but i am still physically very tired. since then i have been just sleeping 10+ hrs /night and napping during the day. yes. i have officially become a pensioner.

the good(?) thing is that deviant shared this hectic experience with me and therefore is equally tired and in need of resting. we spent the entire weekend just watching movies, reading books snuggled up, napping together and reading books at the beach. and i can tell you bunnies, it was just what the doc ordered. in fact i thoroughly enjoyed my low key weekend.

what worries me a bit is that i ended up losing a fair bit of weight in the process too. i mean, i don't exercise at all, i eat big meals (and junk food regularly), candy daily, drink excessively and still keep losing weight. not a good sign. i'll have to see how the dust settles and see if i return back to normal. i have no desire to turn into a bloody anorectic twig.

Monday, November 20, 2006

hard core

wow. miss pearl came back from her trip to borneo with some seriously street cred scars on her upper arm. apparently she had attempted to take on a box jellyfish*. serious ouch.

hearing this only a day after i decided to break my no-swimming rule, is kinda unsettling.

(* = for those who are not familiar with this charming lil fella called box jellyfish, here's just the first quick quote i googled:

"box jellyfish is considered the most venomous marine creature. it can kill more people than stonefish, sharks and crocodiles combined. "

"venom: you have virtually no chance of surviving the venomous sting, unless treated immediately. the pain is so excruciating and overwhelming that you would most likely go into shock and drown before reaching the shore."
>> great barrier reef dangers )

john waters weekend

movies movies movies.

watched a few over the weekend. started out with blade runner (1982) as i ranted on earlier. heh. deviant absolutely hated it. tried to watch it twice. first time it took 5 mins for him to pass out. then he gave it another go the following day. 20 mins and he was asleep. i promised i wouldn't make him watch it again. he did try so that's fair enuff.

instead we watched cry baby (1990). fucken fantastic flick i tell you. i had never seen it even tho it was rather big back in the day. mr depp is absolutely edible and the whole movie is just fucken hilarious.

we continued the waters movie fest with a dirty shame (2004) the same night and had a ball with that too. fucken priceless. both highly recommended bunnies.

last night we finished the beach and movie fest w/e with the proposition (2005). which was excellent as well.

swimming counter: 4

went to the beach yesterday.

now while i can pull off the reading a book in the sun as well as prancing around in my bikini... as soon as i step into the waves i expose my scandinavian background.

usually, i don't swim. in fact, i practically never do. i've been in sydney for almost 4 yrs and i'm quite sure this is the fourth time i stepped into the surf.

see, we've got lakes. lakes mean still water. still. calm. pleasant. yes?

here? ha! the sea just bitch slaps you in the face and trashes you all over the place like the 50cent whore you are.

deviant ran straight in and i for some reason decided to follow. so i get to the point where my toes make their first contact with the water. my reaction? 'fucken freezing! no way i'm going in!' but before i had time to turn around on the spot, the next friggen wave came in and quite literally slapped me in the face soaking me. might as well go in then.

deviant seemed to have a ball pointing and laughing as i was doing my best drowning finn impression and he was bouncing around like a bloody dolphin. it was just that i was disagreeing with the seawater attempting to fill every and each one of my orifices AND trying to separate me from my bikinis in a rather violent matter.

dealing with the waves sorta got an extra difficulty factor due to one of my hands hanging on to my bikini bottoms and the other holding the top over my titties. which was prolly quite funny. i know i was having a good giggle myself.

quite masochistic, painful and embarrassing but also very entertaining.

Friday, November 17, 2006

"all those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain..."

yesyes. i'm talking abt blade runner.

see, i had watched the movie once abt ten yrs ago but could only remember the see-through raincoat replica getting slaughtered while running through a store window and rutger hauer sitting on the rooftop with the white dove.

watched it again tonight. deviant passed out after first 5 mins or so. but i watched all of it. and luveded every second.

i can see why ppl keep raving on abt this flick. fuck. ridley scott did this masterpiece back in 1982 which just abt blows my mind. half of it was copied into the fifth element (which would also be on my top-gawd-knows-how-many-movies-list).

any of you bunnies who haven't seen the flick or have seen it a decade or so ago, fucken watch it again. bloody brilliant.


its silly really. having already done grad show once, it doesn't seem like such a big deal now that i'm doing it again. i mean, don't get me wrong, i am excited abt it. but... but its just not the same.

maybe its just the graduation last april that ruined it for me. i can tell you bunnies, it was the worst fucken day of my life. you know kinda like the average birthday, christmas or nye - its bound to suck.

big dates in my life as such have turned into this anticlimax that i dread beforehand. i know its going to be a disappointment and i know its going to suck. what really happens is that i most likely make it happen all by myself by fearing it in the first place. i don't know.

maybe its this whole living on the wrong side of the world thing. the vital part that is supposed to make those dates for me is missing. and i don't have enough faith in people to expect someone else - who is not obliged to by blood connection - to step in and fill the void.

maybe i'll just get too drunk to notice. maybe i'll start with tequila shots before the guests arrive. just like last year. but for that i need muscles. he cheered me up last time... let's see if he'll be there for me this time.

Thursday, November 16, 2006


alrighty bunnies, all the shit is over and done with, its time to start having fun again.

i am seriously deprived of any social interaction and in need of a night out. the fact that i ended up staying back at work for almost two hrs extra just because i was having fun is a fucken scary sign. the boys were being very entertaining and we ended up going through every topic from droolable men to scarlett johansson and everything in between.

i'll have to see what everyone is upto tomorrow, but i'd certainly be up for a drink of ten after work. mebbe even end up shaking my bum somewhere? i think i have done far too little bum shaking and attention seeking lately.

oh, bad news btw: citronella got dui'd* the other day. seriously not good. will need to bend him over my knee when i see him. such a bad boy he is.

now join me for a bowl of apple pie and ice cream...

(*dui = d.u.i. = driving under the influence)

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

a new beginning

here i am, enjoying a brekky at my new lil bachelorette pad after sleeping here for the first night. and tell you what bunnies, i slept like a baby!

the apartment has a very pleasant mood to it. you know that thing you feel as soon as you step into a place? this studio is calming, soothing and balancing. just what i need me thinks.

now the size of this studio is puzzling me a bit. its one of those places that seems quite small when you walk in. but then it suddenly sort of turns into something that seems quite spacious. and anyway, i thought it was abt the size of my previous place, right? well, i threw all my shit around the place and now there's still all this space. i mean, i could have a sofa with a coffee table in here and it'd still feel like there's space for more.

i think i will love it here.

i was such a good girl last night that i was able to sort out nearly all my stuff and i am ready to entertain here tonight. i have promised to cook deviant a dinner. i think i'll cook something really nice, get a bottle of wine to go with it and mebbe even do candles. he deserves all the pampering i can possibly deliver. such a good man he is.

now if only the fucken summer would arrive so that i can start abusing my new pool!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

warning: system overload...

its insane how far you can push yourself before losing it.

the past couple of months have been flat out and it has only escalated over the past couple of weeks to the point that today i feel like i'm about to collapse.

would somebunny please just wrap me up in a straitjacket, wheel me into a mental asylum of some sort and just leave me there - preferably heavily medicated - to sleep for a year or two. pretty please with sugar on top?

in a nutshell? well had my final assessment on last wed (so spent the previous week setting everything up pretty much from 5:30am to 11pm every day). a job application with work examples to type up on thu. pack up for move fri-sat. come up with a concept for a scholarship interview before monday. make a scholarship interview presentation on sun. train all the way fucken west to attend the interview on mon morning. get back to city to arrange everything for the move as soon as the interview was done. EMPTY AND CLEAN MY ENTIRE APARTMENT IN FORTY-FUCKEN-MINS!!! and spend the rest of the night moving all my shit to the new place.

i wish i will never have to live through a period as hectic as the last couple of weeks. seriously, fucken never EVER again.

i honestly wouldn't have survived this all without deviant and its no exaggeration. last night as i collapsed on his bed ready to sleep for a week (or the few hrs i actually could before getting up at 5:30am again) i realised just how much he has done for me lately.

seriously, if from today onwards i'd spent all my waking hours serving him non-stop bjs while pouring beer down his throat and massaging his feet (all simultaneously of course) i could not even dream of settling my debt before xmas.

i think i'll start by cooking him dinner. mebbe as soon as tomorrow if i get all my shit organised tonight.

shit. that reminds me: today is the sca grad show and i don't think i can make it. i really really REALLY want to. but i just got another call from my new real estate agent saying that i need to go and sign yet another form right after work. and i am struggling even getting through the day at the office. and i need to get my apartment sorted out. i haven't even opened the first box yet.

mebbe i should switch from caffeine to speed?

Saturday, November 04, 2006

hectic times

ha. not only did i fuck up big time at work this week, but miss pearl pulled a very similar brainless fuckup. its so soothing to know that i'm not the only brainless bimbo in this show ;)


right now i'm sitting at deviant's office typing away this post while waiting for him to set up for today's construction mission. i'll be trying my best to help him while he assembles the fan for my grad show work. then we're off to the uni to build my space and paint the walls.

hopefully we get everything done today so that we don't have to drive back there till monday.

Friday, November 03, 2006

flat out

such a bloody scatterbrain i have been lately! its hopeless. there's just too bloody much on my plate at the moment. not healthy.

i managed to do a really stupid fuck up at work this week. so stoopid that it makes me doubt if my eyesight has left me for good or if the little that has been left of my poor brain has been reduced into a pink block of play-doh.

oh well, shit happens i suppose.

if i would just get this honours shit out of the way, i could perhaps take it a bit easier for a while.

i had to re-edit my entire video this morning as i found out that the fan programming can only use full seconds. deviant is finishing off the fan today as well as programming it to operate in sync with my video. then we'll spend the entire w/e way out in the bush setting up the installation space ready for my viva voce next wednesday.

yeh, i'm shitting myself.

if i survive the viva voce as well as the setting up, i then need to type and send off a series of applications and proposals for jobs/scholarships/exhibitions and shit. then the following w/e i need to pack all my shit for moving. grah.

the only thing calming me down and keeping me sane is deviant being the perfect man and spoiling me rotten.