Sunday, July 31, 2005

online dating works against evolution?

ok bunnies, this is something that has been intriguing me for quite a while.

you know how internet has changed the way people meet and hook up? sure, there were penpals and shit even before the net, but nothing in the scale that online dating/chatting/shit is today.

what i find interesting is the way it works against evolution.

irl, we notice a person according to their looks. as shallow as that is, the reason for it is quite logical. even when looking for a one night shag, we use the same hunting system that is developed to serve us in reproduction.

what we find attractive is of course partly brainwashed by the media, but still, part of it is hardcoded in us.

we look at the face first. it has been tested that most people find a symmetric face the sexiest. it's logical that we are interested in the face, since it's the most difficult and delicate part of us to 'built'. any 'mistakes' that our genes may have, are quite likely to show in the face. we are attracted to the symmetric features because they spell good genes. right?

another thing that is dismissed when logging on, is the smell. after getting interested on how someone looks, we move closer and are able to smell the person. this is something that happens almost entirely subconsciously, but we are attracted to people by the way they smell. we send out a sum of our immune system in the way we smell. and in others we of course are looking for the person who's smell is most different from us, to provide a more wholesome immune system for the potential offspring.

this is of course only a couple of lil things picked out from a very complex system, but these are the two things that i find most interesting. and these are the things that are the first ones to go down the drain when logging on.

of course most of the internet services also provide us with pictures, but as we all know, those pictures only tell part of the truth.

online, we meet these created personalities. after logon, sam simple turns into harry hustler just as wilma wallflower turns into marla maneater. suddenly the traumatic acne that has caused sam to become the shy recluse he is, is magically wiped away in photoshop. single mum wilma is suddenly the newborn white trash pamela anderson, thanks to a well chosen camera angle and a push up bra.

but is it necessarily a bad thing? couldn't tell you mate. i guess it's only fair if sam and wilma can have some fun too. even if only online.

tho i reckon i'll still sniff my boys out from the crowd irl.

you bunnies are weird...

some swede *points finger* ended up reading my rants after googling the words:
"orgasm girl surgery clinic -transsexual clitoris" other pearls from this morning:
"eat on bigclit",
oh, and i burned my thumb nail again making coffee this morning. fuck. i really need that long neck lighter thingie.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

SO true

your humor style:
the cutting edge
(56% dark, 60% spontaneous, 38% vulgar)

your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't in and of themselves confrontational. you probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top.

your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing. (yes, yes and yes! i would. i really would. heh.)

people like you: david letterman - john belushi

how you compared to other people your age and gender:
you scored higher than 45% on dark
you scored higher than 90% on spontaneous
you scored higher than 81% on vulgar

funny thing

i just remembered a funny thing from last night.

once again i was asked if i had some asian blood running in my family. heh. the guy said that he had tried to figure out where i was from. he was suprised to hear that i was scandinavian.

when i visited egypt abt 5 yrs ago, everyone there thought i was japanese. cracked me up. some poor fucker offered gawd knows how many camels for the 'japanese princess' and my fuckwit of a boyfriend (at the time) was fucken considering it too - until he realised that it'd be a bitch to try to get the bloody mammals into the plane.

fair enuff, i'm short and i've got the japanese school girl trademark dark bob... but gimme a fucken break. heh.

as far as i know most of my family roots are finnish apart from a lil dash of russian vodka in my blood. and i recently heard that there's also a lil wink of estonian somewhere.

good morning bunnies

i think i need one of those long neck lighter thingies. atm i'm lighting my gas stove with a regular lighter and i managed to burn my thumb nail. smells funny.

the coffee is still as yummy as ever, so i guess its worth a burned nail or few...


last night was awesome. i saw some fucken fantastic stuff screened, tho a lot of bullshit too. of course.

we showed up 2 hrs too early with my uni mate and his girlfriend. so we decided to go to cohibar in darling harbour, to enjoy a couple of fancy drinkies before the cheap gallery wine. the place is quite wanky and shit, but they play good music (groovy, funky and jazzy chillout stuff), the staff is good fun and the drinks are uber-yummy. i started out with the usual cosmopolitan and then tasted a coconut&mango martini. oh so girly and oh so yummy. heh.

then we rocked up at the gallery just in time to say hello to everyone before the screening started. and everyone was there: all my good uni mates (well, except couple of slackers), all of my cool teachers (well, except couple of slackers) and a lot of people i've met at gallery openings before.

i usually enjoy two kinds of artworks: the ones that entertain me and the ones that seduce me to lose the work itself entirely, fall into a trance-like state and go through my own shit while i'm enjoying the work.

personally, i don't like long video works. if you can't fit it into 3mins, make a fucken installation out of it so that i can walk in, and walk out when i'm bored 10 secs later. isn't short attention span a wonderful thing?

last night there were a few short ones that were very clever and/or entertaining. and to my suprise there were also a few longer ones that were just incredibly beautiful and intense. and there were also two awesome audio performances at the end of the night. specially the first one was fantastic. a couple of my teachers performed. the sound just had this incredible presence and i felt it more than heard it.

i was wrapped up in interesting conversations for the latter part of the evening, so i have to admit that my attention was not fully on the work being screened after the first intermission. but i had a great time.

i found myself challenged by the works that i saw and experienced as well as the company i had. what more can you ask from a wanky arthouse night out? well, the wine of course, but there was plenty. so it's all good.

fucken fantastic night out!

went to an audio visual screening/performance night at a local gallery tonight.

i thought it'd be the usual wanky sipping free white wine while bashing the useless shit on the gallery walls, but no! it was fucken fantastic. fan-tas-tic.

too tired to write more now, but it was good bunnies, very, very good.

ooh, made a new interesting contact. well, not really new. i had met him a couple of times before, but never really had a good chat or anything. i guess i was just an arrogant third year cunt. heh. and for the first time in ages, the interesting person with nice eyes is not at least 5 yrs younger than me, but even - get this - older than i am. heh.

Friday, July 29, 2005

morning coffee

neighbors are funny creatures.

after my gallery run in the city yesterday, i was tired as fuck. so i had a lil luxurious nap in the middle of the day. well, of course abt 30 mins later, my boss calls and wakes me up.

as i sit up on my bed to answer the phone, the first thing i see is the opposite neighbors telly screen through my window. and of course the fucker is watching hard core porno in the middle of the day. cracked me up.

so bunny, if it's you living opposite me, watching a porno in the middle of the day: you're caught. i can see you. heh.


anyway. better skull down my coffee and hit the shower. it's back to work today. which is nice. i get to see all the people again and get paid.

after work it's gallery time. robin got his ikea mice video (i dunno the actual title) into a gallery and i wouldn't want to miss that.

tatah bunnies!

Thursday, July 28, 2005

bob flanagan does poetry

a comment on my previous post got me thinking abt poetry again. it made me remember my favourite bob flanagan one. i've prolly posted this already ages ago, but i just really like it...

i’ve been a shit and i hate fucking you now
because i love fucking you too much;
what good’s the head of my cock inside you
when my other head, the one with the brains,
keeps thinking how fucked up everything is,
how fucked i am to be fucking you and thinking
these things which take me away from you
when all i want is to be close to you
but fuck you for letting me fuck you now
when all that connects us is this fucking cock
which is as lost inside you as i am, here,
in the dark, fucking you and thinking - fuck,
the wallpaper behind you had a name,
what was it? you called it what? herringbone?
-bob flanagan

yay for home made flat white!

as i left the newtown house behind me, i also left the coffee machine behind me. i thought that moving out was the end to my 'waking up to a near perfection soy flat white' mornings.

then i found one of these beauties in my lovely new kitchen. and here i am, once again, starting my day with a wonderful home made soy flat white. oh, and following a mate's advice, i went for italian espresso instead of french one. it's so much smoother and nicer.

this espresso stove pot actually makes me love my gas stove too. it's so quick and even my milk is heated in no time. the coffee is ready by the time i get my cereal bowl fixed. awesome.

coffee makes the world a better place. at least momentarily. why don't you join me for a cup, bunnies?

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

shoppity shop

i went grocery shopping on my way home today. the guy behind the register tried to get me to donate money for kids or some shit...
- "good day, miss. could i interest you in donating money for [insert here some stupid children organization]?"

- "sorry luv, i hate kids."

- "...excuse me?"
the guy looks at me in a funny way and continues: "but... but you're 'female'. you're supposed to have a maternal instinct to like kids. right?"

- "i prefer puppies and kittens and shit. you know, when you get fed up, you can just take them to the vet to have them put to sleep. try doing that to a kid and all hell breaks loose..."

- "erm... right. i appreciate your honesty i suppose - ummm... so that's a no for the donation then?"

heh. poor lil guy. i wish i had a camera. cause i can tell you bunnies, you should have seen his face.

lyrics of the day

i was training home from uni today when my ipod shuffled on a björk track i hadn't heard for ages. i just love her lyrics.
björk - unravel

while you are away

my heart comes undone
slowly unravels
in a ball of yarn
the devil collects it
with a grin
our love
in a ball of yarn

he'll never return it

so when you come back
we'll have to make new love

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

back to uni

it feels good to be back at uni. i hadn't even realised how much i had missed all my uni mates. it had been so boring without their twisted lil minds.

i heard that one of my uni mates had got his video into scott donovan gallery. fucken fantastic! i think the work will be screened this friday. better make sure i'll be there to witness this.


heh, went skank spotting at penrith plaza again. funny as fuck. so cheap and so skanky. gotta luv it.

tho i spotted the best trailor trash chicky on my way to uni this morning. she was as skanky as they come: tiny lil top with mariah carey waistless jeans, revealing abt 20cm of love handles and stretch marks. and all this topped off with the trademark two colour hair: dark auburn underneath with peroxide blonde top. heh.


Sunday, July 24, 2005

sin city - go watch it bunnies!

honestly bunnies, visually just fucken stunning. it was the most prettiest and bloodiest thing i've seen since zatoichi. awesome, just awesome. that's all i can say.

oh, and plenty of top quality tits & arse. and i do mean PLENTY. soooo perty.

make sure you catch it in the cinemas.

home, sweet home

finally all settled in! did the move yesterday and unpacked everything today. which was pretty good effort considering that i did not get too much sleep last night. heh. good times. very good.

i have a gas stove now and i'm still not sure what to think abt it. i mean, fair enough, it's fast as fuck and all, but still... it's gas. it freaks the shit out of me. i'm starting to get used to it, like i can use it and all, but it's still a bit scary.

haven't touched the oven tho. not sure if i will either. it brings out this immediate mental image of some fat american white trash single mum, stuffing her head in it as a last resort *shivers*

i just don't like gas.


i should hit the shower soon. i'm going to see sin city tonight with an old mate. haven't seen him since the beginning of the year and i think it'll be cool to catch up. this is the tall dark and handsome one.

let's see if he still is. heh.

update to the previous posting

shame on me! i totally forgot abt: the adventures of priscilla, queen of the desert, léon and the nightmare before christmas

...entirely unforgivable since i do believe that the glam lil pink bus had a major influence on me ending up down under.
"why don't you light your tampon and blow your box apart, because it's the only bang you're ever gonna get, sweetheart."
ooh, did i mention that for the first half of the year, i lived only a couple of blocks away from the imperial hotel? imperial is of course the starting point of priscilla's notorious trip from sydney to alice springs.

shamefully i have to add, that i have not yet seen a drag show in imperial. i fear that it could never live up to the expectations...

Saturday, July 23, 2005

top10 directors & top10 movies

what's a better way to start a day, than to attemp the most difficult ranking ever (not counting in ranking past men of course... oh hang on, that would still be a lot easier than ranking movies) while my poor lil brain is only partly operating. [slightly modified via]

bubbling under: aki kaurismäki, jim jarmusch, zach braff,


bubbling under: bad taste, braindead, evil dead series, garden state, lucía y el sexo, meet the feebles, mies vailla menneisyyttä,

Friday, July 22, 2005

(almost) nest building

ok, i am officially in love with this apartment. i've spent the whole day unpacking and settling in and now this place feels like home. tomorrow i'll move the rest of my shit in. no idea how i'll fit it in tho. better think of something.

i was planning to go out tonight, but i fear i might be too tired to go. it's only 9:30pm and my bed is already starting to appear more than inviting. i love the bed btw. it's massive with a thick warm doona, dozen of luxurious big pillows and the mattress is uber comfy.

actually, fuck going out. instead, i'll chuck the last tango in paris into the dvd player, pile the most comfortable lounge ever from the pillows, draw the doona up to my ears and enjoy a lazy day off while i still can. better for my liver anyway.

tonight is for me and myself only. the rest of the world can wait.

yesterday was a funny day

i moved straight into the new apartment when i got back, but the problem was that i didn't have the keys to get in. my teacher mailed the keys to sunshine while i was gone and the plan was, that he meets me at the airport so that i can get into my new apartment. so far so good.

fear not, even a plan this simple can be fucked up, when the ever so powerful and sneaky mr. murphy comes along.

i rock up at the airport at 5am, 40+ hrs of travelling behind me, tired as fuck. i message sunshine straight away to let him know, that i have arrived and everything's ok. i start to worry a bit when he doesn't reply and 15 mins later i message him again saying "pls tell me that you are not still asleep in your bed..." again, no reply. fuck. after another 15 mins i call him up, just to hear a sleepy "mmmmmh... yeah?" after letting the phone ring for ages. apparently he had set the alarm early as fuck and no doubt killed it as soon as it went off. heh.

he appeared at the airport abt 20 mins later, hangover as fuck (and of course looking good enough to eat - like, we're talking shit hot here). poor lil thing. and - as you prolly already guessed - without the bloody keys. so there we go, catching a cab to newtown to get the keys and then to my new place at potts point.

even tho (or maybe because) i was more tired than i have ever been before, all this was just funny as fuck and i didn't get pissy at all. all i did was giggle my arse off at the things that were fucking up. good times.

he did cook me brekky to make up tho. and a good brekky it was. very good. heh.

i went to bed sometime around 7-8pm and slept for the next 14 hrs. ...tho i sorta remember talking on the phone several times while being totally fucken out of it, but i have no idea who with or if i just dreamed it. maybe i should check my phone.


inspired by tira's food talk, here's a list of some culinary treats that i would die for (in no particular order)

  • a freshly baked still warm cinnamon roll with a big mug of hot chocolate from cafe success (helsinki, finland)

  • strindberg cafe's low lactose cheese cake (helsinki, finland)

  • a traditional freshly baked karjalanpiirakka still hot, straight out of the oven (finland)

  • vegetarian mushroom cabbage rolls from seahorse (sikala) restaurant (helsinki, finland)

  • a massive bowl of traditional creamy fish soup with home made dark rye bread in candle light, inside a warm lil restaurant, while there's a massive storm outside (a lil fisherman island somewhere in the archipelago around turku, finland)

  • saganaki in spicy tomato based seafood sauce in the 'restaurant of the setting sun' (some lil fisherman village on a tiny lil island somewhere in front of athens, greece)

  • fresh pineapple from the night market (krabi, thailand)

  • a roti canai from any dodgy lil street joint (kuala lumpur, malaysia)

  • banana porridge for brekky from tj's (pulau pangkor, malaysia)

  • luxurious peking duck in some fancy beijing cuisine restaurant (shenzhen, china)

  • salmon and avocado maki sushi from sushi train (sydney, australia)

  • fish & chips at manly beach while the sun is setting in the background (sydney, australia)

  • green curry with chicken or pad thai with b.y.o. white wine at newtown thai ii (sydney, australia)
  • a perfect piña colada (tobaco cays, st. vincent & the grenadines, caribbean)
and last but not necessarily the least: some cheap-o oz goodness - mi goreng instant noodles.

at lil over $2 for a 5 pack, they're cheap as soap and oh so yummy and addictive (actually addictive for real because of some additive shit, but like i'd care). honestly guys, if you're a penniless student bum, this is the shit.

and i actually might die for this shit, since it seriously is not healthy.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

fuck me, it's good to be home.

i am so utterly dead that it's not even funny. 40+ hr trip. i hope i never have to do the same again. ever.

suprisingly, i've had a very good day so far. despite the fact that i've been borderline unconscious for the most of it. i think i missed at least half of nightmare before christmas cause i kept dozing off.

alright. i better do my best to try to stay awake for a few more hrs and then i can go and catch some much needed z.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

heathrow sucks balls

this shit is just not cool. i was planning to spend the day in london, but i only got 3 hrs of sleep last night so i'm tired as fuck. besides, my bag is way too heavy to drag around. so here i am, stuck at fucken heathrow for 12 hrs. grh.

funny tho, there i am, walking past the ba counter and there is this blond chicky causing trouble. sure enough she's a mate of mine from uni. she went back home to norway for the break and is on her way back to sydney now. at least i have company for a couple of hrs now. she's good value.
her flight just leaves 9 hrs before mine does. crap.

sydney, here i come!

alrighty. my winter/summer break back home in finland is nearly done, and my flight back home to sydney leaves early tomorrow morning.

i am eager to get back, specially since someone i have missed v. much is meeting me at the airport.

unless i get utterly bored at heathrow (not so likely since i was able to score a copy of harry potter and the half-blood prince), the next time i'll be blogging is from my lovely new apartment through my painfully slow modem connection.

i miss my soy flat white. i miss my sea food laksa. i miss my sushi. and most of all, i miss all of my fucked up mates.

i miss my sydney.

Sunday, July 17, 2005


warning: heavy and boring shit

less than three days to go and i'm on my way back to sydney. i am eager to go but at the same time reluctant to leave.

i feel as if this was the last time i left finland. as if i was leaving for good. before, i've always felt like i was going on a trip abroad. now i feel like i was moving away. like i would have made up my mind to stay in sydney, instead of returning to finland after i finish my degree.

have i?

i know i don't want to come back after next semester, which is the last of my bachelor degree. i know i want to do one more year; to do honours. but i didn't think i had done any decisions past that. maybe coming back this summer made it clear to me, that this was no longer my place to be.

or maybe i am going back to australia for the last time. maybe, deep down, i know that as much as i have loved the time i have spent in sydney, it has come to an end. few more months, and my dream has been lived. after that it's time to start chasing a new dream. is that what this is?

i feel weird as fuck. restless and rootless.

but what i know for sure is that there are faces in sydney that i miss like hell. people that mean more to me than i have realised before. some even more than others.

i miss them as much as i had missed my old friends here. i guess with some people it doesn't require time to create a strong bond. sometimes it's instant. tho then again sometimes even time doesn't do it. there is only one thing wrong with travelling: you can't take all of your friends with you. but then again, what's better than to finally meet someone who you've missed like hell?

warning bunnies: i might be a tad huggy.

Saturday, July 16, 2005


time is running out

funny. it feels like i would have been in finland for ages and that i'm home sick to get back to sydney. but at the same time it feels like i don't want to leave just yet. there's still so many mates to see and spend time with. so in other words, now i just feel totally screwed, no matter what i do. great.

there's a party in helsinki tonight and it sounds so very promising. but i can't make it. and it's shitting me to no end.

there's only two things that i can never forgive myself: walking past a gorgeous pair of heels on discount and skipping a fantastic party. *sigh*

which reminds me... i really should have bought those yucky bright yellow stilettos from stockmann the other day. they've been haunting my mind ever since i saw them. they were so delightfully tacky and bright. luveded 'em.

i want to go for my daily run... but i reckon that the pizza i just stuffed myself with, might end up pressing the 'emergency evacuate' button half way through the lap... there's nothing like a technicolor yawn to lighten up a walk in the woods.

Friday, July 15, 2005

a fantastic night out!

it's truly wonderful, what a "lil" cleavage can do. ok well, a lot of it. like A LOT.

i wasn't planning to go out, but then a mate drags me to see a couple of gigs at tammerfest. we started out having drinkies outside and as we are walking into the bar, the bouncer stops me to see my id. cracked me up. this was going to turn out either very bad or very, very good.

we saw the gigs (nothing sensational but all good and entertaining) and then pub crawled our way to the other end of tampere. met a cute bartender (pretty back, awful pants) and ended up in this three floor maze hell of a night club. already pretty much pissed to the eyeballs.

we ended up sitting at the rock'n roll bar downstairs and it must have been the young, restless and desperate night out or something. it took less than 2 mins for the first one to appear after we sat down (mind you, the first two were very, VERY cute and edible). and as soon as we got rid of the previous one, the next one appeared. we didn't sit alone for more than few mins at a time, if even that.

then some einstein decides that it's a fantastic idea to showe an ice cube down my cleavage. so we took off. later on that night the guy tries to pick me up by saying "hey! i'm the guy who showed an ice cube down your cleavage. wanna dance?" xcuse me, what? but i was nice. actually, i was very nice: i didn't punch him. i just told him to fuck off.

my mate drags out this guy and his wing man when we're leaving, but they turned out to be thick as fuck. being a good mate, i helped her get rid of them a couple of blocks later.

on my way home, this cute young lil thing stops me half way through hämeenkatu. this kid looks like 15 in aussie yrs. very cute tho. ten yrs ago i would have jumped him for sure. he's waving his arms to stop me and here's what i can remember out of the convo:
- "hey! hey! hey! HEY! i have got to talk to this girl, cause i lost my heart to her tonight at the bar!" pointing at me while talking to his mates and then walks straight in front of me to stop me before i could walk past him.

- "sweetheart, you're the cutest thing i have seen tonight, but i do fear you are a bit young for an old cunt like me..."

- "a bit young? A BIT YOUNG? well, LADY, i'm heaps older than you are."
clearly offended, the boy offers his hand to shake and continues, "[insert here a male name], 21 yrs."

- "t, 27 yrs"

- "...fuck."
the boy looks at me in disbelief and by this point prolly starts to count the wrinkles around my eyes. "i look like an idiot now. don't i? here i am, thinking that there's an easy lil piece of young meat to pick up using my mature male charm and then you go and slap me in the face like that!"
after a few more delightful encourters with drunken finnish men, i walked home to drink morning coffee with my mum at 5am. heh.

funny as fuck.

Thursday, July 14, 2005


you know, i used to think that to find nice lingerie in helsinki or tampere, you always have to go to stockmann or citysokos. but no.

this time it was h&m of all places that rewarded me with the perfect lil lacey combination of chocolate brown and 'clean'.

i also found an innocent white and pale baby pink set for the days when i feel like an angel. if such a day would arise anyway. usually i only feel like an angel after a long jog and it only lasts while i'm still sweating like a poor lil xmas piggy in the oven. hardly the time to slip into something lacy if you ask me.

the good thing abt living in sydney is that they don't have any h&m stores. i can buy all this cheap crap while i'm in finland and even tho i would never wear this shit in here (cause 13 lil teen skanks in a dozen is bound to wear the same outfit) i can safely wear it in sydney and it might even look borderline good.

what a silly lil girl i have been!

now i get it! all this time i've been stupid and blind and trying to make an impossible equation balance out. yesterday, i had my epiphany.

i was watching this documentary. something like "women talking abt sex". most of it was just the usual crap: american women being ecstatic, cause they can be oh so liberated and say things like 'clitoris' or 'oral sex' on television. didn't pay much attention.

but the epiphany part?

there was this old hag who had had like 40 or so lovers. she explained, that she had found that irl it's the best solution to have three men, not just one. three you can still juggle and every one of them has an important part to fill:
  1. the shit hot guy in a pinstripe suit who you can go out in the public with and look good next to in a gallery opening
  2. the sex god who get's you off and fucks your brains out at least three times a day
  3. the smart one to have interesting conversations with and who inspires your mind and soul
and all this time i've been trying to find all three in one. no wonder i haven't found him...

the only downside is that before i was one guy short... now i'm three guys short. crap.

so much to do...

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

yay for new hair!

i finally had a chance to drag my arse to see a hairdresser. abt a fucken time if you ask me (or anyone who saw me irl for that matter).

the colour is a beautiful dark chocolate brown with black streaks under the fringe. the long tip of the asymmetrical bob is also black (the colour idea was inspired by tira's beautiful locks...)

a family friend of ours who used to be our neighbour (ages ago when i was still a lil annoying anklebiter myself) recently moved to tampere. she used to be the best hairdresser in town back then and i was pleasantly suprised to see that if anything, her talent had only improved over time.

even tho she is abt to turn 50, she looked abt 35 (30 in oz yrs) and had the hard core trend and technique knowledge equivalent of the best young hairdressers i know. i was impressed.

(edited after posting, so sue me.)

so depressingly perty

i could watch this video over and over again just for that bum. pure perfection. as far as bums go, i'm definitely a kylie-gwen kinda girl. no one else comes even close.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

you know you're in australia when...

  • the mexicans next door ask you over for a bbq.
  • you don't actually use the words 'sheila' or 'shrimp'.
  • you actively dislike americans, but watch their telly, eat their food and worship their idols.
  • democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of john howard.
  • a posh meal = an all-you-can-eat buffet.
  • your most offensive curse also doubles as an exclamation of awe or amazement, like, "fark orf!"
  • you don't drink fosters, but you let the world think you do.
  • the only thing better than beating the poms at ANY sport is giving them shit for it.
  • you can compress several words into one - ie 'g'day', 'd'reckn?' this allows for more space for profanities.
  • you have a customised stubby holder.
  • your soap stars become pop singers and move to the UK.
  • you use the words - grouse, tops, ripper, choice, sick, rad, exo, ace, wicked, ballistic - to mean good. and then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you really mean it.
  • your cooking apron has plastic breasts on it.
  • the "aussie aussie aussie! oi oi oi!" chant has been a religious experience in the past.
  • the blokes at the local gym think your weight training is an opportunity to ask you out on a date.
  • the bbq is a male-dominated arena. and the women do the salads.
  • 'fair go for all' excludes indigenous people.
  • an eight-hour trip to go camping for the weekend isn't out of the question or excessive.
  • you take pride in living in a tolerant multicultural society but firmly believe that all poms and kiwis are fair game.
  • slick pick-up lines like 'wanna shag?' and 'carn, show us yer tits' can constitute male-to-female conversation.
  • you say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
[orig. edited rather heavily on the way]

a [boring] saint

two days in a row, i've done a 10km run instead of the usual 5km. if i can do ten, i feel like a slacker if i only do five... mind you, i do feel fucken fantastic.

man, i gotta stop this shit soon, or i'm going to turn into an all good, nice and boring lil angel girl. angels like that have nothing juicy to write about, not even mentioning creating from. to be even mildly interesting as an artist, you just can't be all healthy and stabile. fuck that.
"a successful artist has to be either [a] an alcoholic, [b] crazy or [c] gay."
good ole finnish adages just know it all. i think i'll aim for all three, just to be safe...

dun worry bunnies, i should be back in black if i get to helsinki on saturday. there's a very promising piss-up and i'm more than tempted to drag my arse there.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

time flies...

...i just realised that lbts is having it's first birthday in less than a month. kinda scary.

i wonder why i started this ranting in the first place? well, i guess i have three weeks to come up with an explanation.

it's all health, health, health, darling...

first a 5km jog in the beautiful sunny forest, then 300 abs on the lawn, continued by some intensive deep stretching and then finish it off with sauna. in other words: a perfect sunday.

oh, don't worry bunnies, i'm not going to make a habit out of this shit. i'll be back on my bad behaving drunken track in no time. i just thought that i could use a lil bit of healing time too. i'm beginning to fear that my liver is abt to divorce me if i don't remember to be nice to it every now and then.

ooh, i do believe that the divine smell coming from the kitchen spells pancakes and ice cream!

you know what bunnies? sometimes life is just very, very good.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

this shit is so unfair!

ok, first of all, i'm a fucken saint. we went out with miss m. last night. and i did not drink at all. not a drop. me. therefore i must be a saint. or at least an angel.

miss m. can't drink atm, so i thought i'd be a good mate and struggle along not drinking. which i was (suprisingly enough) able to pull off. yay for me. we walked to the city, met up with a couple of mates of hers and then just showed them around tampere.

i think we walked for something like 6-7km (with high heels!), drank only cranberry juice, water and tea in the bars and then we walked back to my place.

and get this: in the morning, i wake up with this hangover-like physical state. how the fuck does that work?

on top of this, my fucken body decides that today is the perfect day for celebrating it's capability to create a little evil army. so now i'm all cranky and in pain. ouchies. poor lil me.

i think there must be some mint chocolate ice cream in the freezer. that'll help.


i tried bunnies, i really, really did.

i thought that if i'd train back to tampere, i'd take it easy and just relax for the rest of my holiday. heh. then my phone rings.

(this is the part where my plan fucks up)

it's miss m. telling me that she's on her way to tampere too and she's kindly informing me that we are going out tonight. that lil voice in my head goes "nononoNO! no way! not tonight! i'm way too tired to party. i'm just going to go to sauna and then call it an early night."

instead i hear myself saying "great! just tell me where and when!".


Friday, July 08, 2005

quiet drinkies night out

such a good lil girl i am.

i went out last night with miss s and her friend miss m2, tira and schizo-janne. the plan was to have a quiet one. start out with a glass of good quality aussie white at home, a cider or two out on vanha balcony and then continue to dtm to shake our booties.

and believe it or not bunnies, that's *exactly* what we did. i know, i can't believe it myself.

thanks for the good company guys. and thank you, perty miss s. for providing me with a place to stay and such an excellent party company too. do keep me informed with the future twists and turns...


today i had a v. nice early lunch tira and mama p's family. you all know that i don't like kids, right? well, despite the fact, that this 6 weeks young thing was a living and breathing mustard machine, he was really quite the little angel.

my theory is that the sneaky lil thing is just trying to kick start tira's biological clock by acting out all nice and shit. but i don't think that the other's were that convinced.

it was very good to see what a great daddy-o mama p had found for herself and they clearly seemed great together. and man, did that kid have a cool mohawk.

your inner european is spanish!

energetic and lively.
you bring the party with you!

who's your inner european?

grah. not much better

well, it wasn't bad enough to require yet another pair of shoes, but not quite right either. back again tomorrow and let's see if they get it right on the 5-6th time.

this london bs is fucked up. i can only imagine what kind of hell this shit raises. i better not wear my bling-bling lingerie to the plane now, or it's rubberglove action for sure at the security check. i just hope that this doesn't mean that i'm spending 12hrs at heathrow on my way back to sydney. cause heathrow must be one of the worst shitholes on earth.

to cheer myself up a bit, we're going out tonight. i'm dragging miss s. and her friend with me and i think tira and eg should be joining up as well. let's see who else shows up.

bunnies, things can only get better...

Thursday, July 07, 2005

bloody fucken hell!

grah. today was a fucken disaster.

first, i drag my arse to the dentist and the fucken quack fucks it up completely. despite me telling him beforehand that this would happen - cause it did last time - he goes ahead and does the same fucken mistake, twise. fucken hell. i had to sit through the pain twise today, and tomorrow i have to drag my arse there at 7:30am! and naturally the pain will be ten times worse cause my teeth are already sore as hell from today.

needless to say i was fucken homicidal when i walked out. it took a pair of highest stiletto heels i've seen, followed by a slice of cheese cake (yay for low lactose goods!) before i calmed down a bit. even then, any granny or teen bumbing into me would have experienced the sudden pleasure of having my brand new stilettos shoved up where the sun doesn't shine - sideways.

then, i try to make myself feel a bit better by doing some lingerie shopping. tell me bunnies, have finnish chicks stopped wearing beautiful lingerie, or what the fuck is the problem??? i went to EVERY lingerie shop/department i could find, and there was absolutely nothing worth buying. and i was so pissed off i would have been willing to buy anything even remotedly nice. but no. not a fucken thing.

i have a bad feeling that tomorrow, i will come home with another pair of shoes and a hell of a toothache.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

today, i was a very, very bad lil girl

i "accidentally" found out that my stockmann credit card works (read: i walked up to the chicky behind the counter and ask her to test it). and went on a lil bit of a shopping spree...

i found a lot of lil things, like make-up and g-strings that had enough bling bling on them to beep like hell in a metal detector (yay for that rubberglove funfun!). i think i have to do the stockmann lingerie sale again tomorrow. i feel like something new, pretty and very, very lacy. maybe i'll have a chance to wear them again if/when my celibacy once again finishes. heh.

it could have been worse tho: i didn't buy a single pair of shoes! so it should balance out as me being a nearly good girl?

besides, it's ok to pamper myself a bit since i have to go to the bloody dentist tomorrow morning. *panic*

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

i will never, ever drink again. really. honestly.

well, at least not until the next time. i'm still only a shadow of myself and even as that, a shaky and trembling one at best. at least the damn headache is gone. looks like the good ole caffeine od helped with that.

mind you, we did - once again - prove, that even if we are getting older by the number, it doesn't mean that we couldn't do the ever so embarrassing drunken teen shit. always as entertaining and always as funny... as long as enough time passes that is (and no one brought a fucken video camera along... damn you hospodar. damn you to hell!).

mental note to self:
  1. when taking a dunny break, always take the glass with you to the bathroom
  2. if however you fail to do so, do check that the amount of the liquid doesn't increase while left alone
  3. one drink of whiskey is 4cl, NOT "filled to the brim"
  4. drinking with the boozing society equals a MAJOR hangover
i think i'm going to stay as far away from vodka as i can for the rest of the week and just enjoy cranberry juice on ice. it's all health, health, health, from now on bunnies. (yeh i know, i know. but let a girl dream, will ya?)

that reminds me. i was recently told that my work had fucked up my mate's date. heh. apparently my dear inner beauty ladies combined with his extremely fucked up sense of humour, had offended his date and ruined THE moment. heh. hun, next time try not to be so damn funny...

Monday, July 04, 2005

piss weak

ok bunnies, now it's official: australia has made me piss weak.

all it took was a magically refilling (sneaky!) glass of vodka (although i do believe there was also some mixer involved in the beginning of the night...). followed by a whiskey. but not the 3cl (oz drink) or the usual 4cl finnish drink. nono. "the glass has brims for a reason!" fuck me.

the only thing i was able to do yesterday, was read a book. even that required a lot of effort. but miss s. provided me with another great book: "the male sexuality". i read the female version some time ago and it was very informative.

maybe even an old dog can learn a few new tricks...

ouchies. loud voice! very pain!

i do believe that the light motorcycle left the hands pretty badly.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

fantastic night out

beer, bbq and bad taste. i guess the night had a bit of an oz flavour in it.

there were 7 guys, me and my parents. two of the guys have been my best mates since we were lil kids and they dragged their mates along with them. awesome.

heh. we were shitting the neighbours by being extremely loud and obnoxious while pissing up at our backyard before heading to the city around midnight.

the night involved black burned stuff that was supposed to be hamburgers, copious amounts of alcohol and bad stories, shakin our arses in a v. dodgy joint in the city, drunk fatty food at 5am and laughing.

man, i laughed so hard last night that my stomach muscles (or well, the fatty formations that should be my tummy muscles) are hurting like hell. heh. i think i elongated my life with several years. unless you count the damage my intestines took from the combination of the carcinogenic food and alcohol. i think it's abt even in the end.

now if i could just gather up enough strength to rock up at the train station and head towards helsinki, so that i can start mentally preparing myself for an even bigger night out.

bunnies, this shit is going to be the end of me.

Friday, July 01, 2005

tampere rok

there's nothing like paying $10 for a cider in the restaurant car, to make you cry yourself to sleep later on in the sleeping car. never fails.

i have to admit, that it's a bit difficult to get used to having finns around after spending such a long time on the other side of the planet. there's no denying it: finns are quite unique.

there i am, sitting in the restaurant car, by myself and obviously up for a chat with anyone who's even remotedly sane or sober enough to spell their name. but no. every person travelling alone, takes up a whole table by themselves, not even glancing at other people. so for the whole time, the restaurant car is filled with tables of just one person, but no one trying to make a conversation to the table next to them. i have a hard time trying to picture this happening in an oz train.

and in helsinki, if you see someone walking in the city looking happy, theyre:
[a] drunk
[b] crazy
[c] a foreigner
[d] all of the above
if you have ever spent a longer time in helsinki, you should know exactly what i mean.

besides, after spending so much time down under, you kinda get brainwashed into this having manners bs. like, saying please, being polite, smiling... that kinda shit. now ppl in here take me for a full on patronising arsehole(*). heh.

(* in finland, the 'normal' way of ordering a coffee in a cafe is not:
- "hi, could i get a cup of coffee, please?" (with a smile),
but instead we use a more time- and energy efficient form:
- "coffee!" (not bothering with a smile, the bitch is getting paid anyway)
...and the same rule can be applied to pretty much anything.)