warning: heavy and boring shit

less than three days to go and i'm on my way back to sydney. i am eager to go but at the same time reluctant to leave.

i feel as if this was the last time i left finland. as if i was leaving for good. before, i've always felt like i was going on a trip abroad. now i feel like i was moving away. like i would have made up my mind to stay in sydney, instead of returning to finland after i finish my degree.

have i?

i know i don't want to come back after next semester, which is the last of my bachelor degree. i know i want to do one more year; to do honours. but i didn't think i had done any decisions past that. maybe coming back this summer made it clear to me, that this was no longer my place to be.

or maybe i am going back to australia for the last time. maybe, deep down, i know that as much as i have loved the time i have spent in sydney, it has come to an end. few more months, and my dream has been lived. after that it's time to start chasing a new dream. is that what this is?

i feel weird as fuck. restless and rootless.

but what i know for sure is that there are faces in sydney that i miss like hell. people that mean more to me than i have realised before. some even more than others.

i miss them as much as i had missed my old friends here. i guess with some people it doesn't require time to create a strong bond. sometimes it's instant. tho then again sometimes even time doesn't do it. there is only one thing wrong with travelling: you can't take all of your friends with you. but then again, what's better than to finally meet someone who you've missed like hell?

warning bunnies: i might be a tad huggy.