Tuesday, February 27, 2007

south coast photography

s.s.merimbula just before sunset.

Friday, February 23, 2007

i am utterly fucked. did not get the job.

[insert here severe desperation, depression and panic]

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

freak magnet

why is it that i always attract the freaks?

whether it be a bus stop, a train or a bar, if there's any freaks in the immediate vicinity, you can start placing bets that they'll glue themselves on me sooner or later.

there i was, sitting on a train heading down the coast, reading my book and minding my own bloody business.

i noticed him from the corner of my eye walking past a few times and then sitting down on the opposite side of the aisle. i was trying my best to look entirely swept away by my book while he was trying to crane his neck back and forth in order to get my attention.

in the end i guess he got frustrated and abandoned the subtle ways of getting in contact and instead bellowed off the top of his lungs: 'oi miss... i was wondering... really nice pouty lips you've got... you mind if i draw your portrait?'

judging by the volume, he had already downed quite a few drinks, and the jolly clinking from the bag by his feet hinted that he had a few more to go.

the poor bugger turned out to be an art school drop out - 'yeh i've been at tafe for three years and that was great... but fuck uni. all that bloody theory. fuck that. who needs theory anyway? ...i dropped out.' - and was comparing his lack of interest for art school to that of dali's. 'they couldn't teach him anything either...'

while quite attractive and entertaining, he was certainly not the brightest crayon in the box. kept me amused for the majority of my trip tho, so it was all good. silly rabbit.

weekend getaway to rancho relaxo

well, what do you know bunnies. things have been good. busy as all hell, but definitely on the positive side of things.

still in the dark as far as my new job goes, but the judgment on whether i'm fucked or not, should arrive by the end of the week. keep those paws crossed.

but on the positive side of things: deviant showed up to cook me a fantastic valentine's day dinner. since he took the train to sydney and back just for that one night, i reckon it scores pretty darn high on the romantic scale.

yeh, he pulled that one off with flying colours. so well in fact, that i was inspired to go and visit him in return.

i took the train down the coast for the weekend to get some much needed relaxation.

see the boys have put up a campsite called the rancho relaxo. and fuck me this is luxury as far as camping goes. deviant's tent mahal is bigger than my bloody apartment and has not only electricity in all its four rooms but also a fucken full size fridge!

my role over the weekend was to operate as the official blood donor as far as the mozzies went. i look like someone would have been using me for bb gun target practise. not impressed.

sunday was lovely tho. deviant wanted to take me to the honeymoon bay for a swim. of course it was a piss pool filled with filthy ankle biters, so we gave it a miss.

but luckily we found this beautiful deserted beach right next to it. toasted scandinavian meat with lobster red titties. owwie.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

valentine bunnies

Monday, February 12, 2007

its a beautiful day

here i was thinking that this valentine's day is going to suck balls (and not in the good way)... turns out this might be one of the best ones yet!

deviant just called and booked me for wednesday. which was *very* unexpected. he's leaving his fishies and taking the train up to syd on wednesday night just to cook me a valentine's day dinner. how wonderful is that?

i couldn't think of a nicer surprise! such a good and romantic man he can be.

today i'm a very happy lil chicky.

Saturday, February 10, 2007


why is it that catching up with old mates always ends up in a headache?

dui picked me up on his way home from work yesterday, and we headed over to his place for pre-drinkies. phoenix showed up with a bottle of canadian club just as we arrived, and since dui had a bottle already waiting for us, we were well prepared.

joined by mr sleaze, we polished off the two bottles at the rooftop terrace while catching up. needless to say we were all rather sloshed. after running out of piss everyone agreed that more was in deed required and soon after we were heading out to the cross.

we ended up at candy's and had a ball cutting the rug.

now, don't get me wrong here, mr sleaze is great fun and a good mate, but fuck me he can be annoying when he gets drunk and too bloody frisky. also, the fucken wanna-be-romeos on the dance floor shit me to no end. i'm there to dance with my mates, so leave me the fuck alone!

however, dui and phoenix did a fantastic job as dedicated males getting rid of the excess meat that would have otherwise spoiled my night. mr sleaze was a bit more work, and at some stage i did honestly think that i'd have to punch him in the face before he'd stay far enough for my liking. but in the end it was all good.

while i've had a fantastic time with deviant for the past year, i have to admit that i had missed going out clubbing to be able to hit the dance floor properly. music was good, dancing felt great and i had missed my mates so much.

i will definitely have to do this more often. but mebbe next time a lil less canadian club. also, i dare say the shots were not the best possible idea at 4am.

owwie. hurty head.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

attack of the clones?

has anyone else noticed that all the prozzies in kings cross have the same face? its like that fucked up aphex twin video clip.

there they are, strutting along the length of the strip in their trashy gear not leaving nearly enough for imagination, and endlessly sucking on their fags. oblivious to the daily rhythm of the rest of the world, they seem to be on the job 24-7.

never mind the track marks, the anorectic limbs or the filthy hair, what keeps freaking me out is their faces. its like an army of zombies sharing the same features brutishly carved out of grey saggy skin.

eyes sunken so deep into their sockets that you hardly even notice the unfocused and uninterested stare in them. sharp cheekbones carrying wrinkled layers of dark heavy luggage as if packed ready for an early checkout. and what looks like endless decades of self-abuse weighting down hollowed cheeks on both sides of the bare thin line of a mouth. no doubt there used to be a pair of lips to it.

and the same cloned again and again along that few hundred metres.

i thought i'd get used to it. at least after a while. but its still as unnerving and distressing.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

runner suits

warning: ranting ahead.

now bunnies, i'm sure i can't be the only one who has noticed the awful, AWFUL runner suits all around the city during business hours?

a runner suit is of course a person wearing neat business attire polished off with a dirty old pair of runners on their way to or from the office.

what the fuck is the deal with that???

don't get me wrong bunnies, i'm all for a little exercise & fitness, and i'm a big fan of smart and well fitting office attire. but don't - for fuck's sake - go and combine the two!

if you want to walk to work in your business clothes, suffer in your heels woman!

or, if you don't want to destroy your gorgeous new biancos on the walk in and out of the office, carry them in and wear a cute pair of flats during the walks. even a pair of friggen double dragons* do a decent job.

if you must wear your runners, then change your entire fucken outfit to suit them!

what the fuck is it with these people??? *bangs head on desk*

(* double dragons = default aussie thongs/flip-flops)

i want / you want / he wants / who wants?

every now and then life seems to drop us at major intersections.

no signs in sight, we are left there to figure ourselves out with the aid of more or less blurred intuition.

at the moment i feel like i've been stranded at these crossings in all major areas of my life. somewhat confusing and frustrating. i would have rather dealt with them one at a time. but i suppose you don't always have a choice.

i need to decide what it is that i want, then figure out which of the roads ahead provides me with it, and repeat the same on all areas of my life.

on some matters i'm afraid i will need to take a very strict line in order to take care of myself. some things just can't go on as they have, and i will need to make big decisions one way or the other.

i just wish this great big tangled ball of yarn would start unraveling from one end or the other so that i can get on with my life...

Sunday, February 04, 2007

the frying pan

or the story of what not to buy for your girlfriend on her birthday.

yes. enough time has passed. i can finally blog this one.

there is a history. see, i'm not the nest-building house-wifey type. every single knife in my kitchen is dull, my cooking utensils are cheap and crappy, and the teflon on my $12 frying pan had walked out on me a long time ago.

deviant is the opposite. his knives are good quality and always sharpened to perfection. his ingredients are always fresh, and every meal cooked from scratch on his beautiful stainless steel frying pan.

the truth is i love cooking. i just don't like to cook for myself. and being more or less single for gawd knows how long, i haven't really seen it necessary to put my effort (let alone the $$$ that i could be spending on heels) into cooking ware.

i luveded cooking at deviant's place. his sharp knives and his luxurious frying pan made it such a pleasure to whip up something delicious. i kept reminding him that he has to take me shopping so that i'll buy a frying pan and a set of knives like his.

silly me, must have repeated this a few times too many and a lil too close to my bday.

when i opened that big box to reveal something as romantic as a stainless steel design frying pan, i believe my words were 'am i supposed to whack you with this, or should i heat it up first?'

no. that did't go down too well. you just do not - and i repeat DO NOT - buy anything practical for your girlfriend on her birthday. especially if it is in any way related to cooking or cleaning. there's just no way of pulling that off. sorry bunnies, but it just isn't possible.

i can see exactly what he was thinking. he was being considerate and getting me something that i really wanted and needed. and don't get me wrong, i absolutely love my pan. it's beautiful and such a pleasure to use. a bloody rolls-royce of frying pans.

but not on my friggen birthday!

he tried to seek for sympathy from people around him, but he told me that everyone's comment had been along the lines of 'what the fuck were you thinking?!?' heh.

later on he confessed that he had originally planned to buy me a knife for christmas, but he had figured that he'd find it sticking out of his neck. smart cookie that one.

but since he's such a good man, he did do a remarkable comeback on christmas and got back in the good books.

fucken funny tho. you should have see him grumble every time i was cooking with my new pan and telling him how much i luveded it and how beautiful it was. 'oh now you love it, do you? you ungrateful bitch...' oh the joy of pointing and laughing. especially when holding a brand new gorgeous stainless steel design pan.

i don't think he'll be buying any more practical gifts.

speaking of magical moments

here's one i had forgotten entirely.

mum sent me a bunch of piccies and amongst them was this beautiful series she's taken while taking the dogs for a walk at twilight.

there is a magical moment in a finnish winter evening called sininen hämärä that happens as the day is starting to give away to the dark night. between the light and the dark, for a moment, everything is coloured in these dreamy beautiful shades of blue.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

magical everyday

its the little luxuries of the everyday that make my sydney existence so magical.

one thing that i just can't get over, is going for an ordinary 8k jog and run around the royal botanical garden to the sydney opera house and back. never mind the flocks of retarded annoying tourists crowding the foot path and slowing you down every now and then. its still the bloody opera house.

i guess you have to be a finn bunny with an ever romantic view of australia to fully relate, but to me, the opera house was always 'it'. it symbolised sydney all those years when it was still a very distant place on top of my 'places to visit' list.

every time i go for my run, it reminds me of how it felt to see the opera house for the first time. it makes me feel like i'm travelling once again, instead of living here.

don't get me wrong bunnies, similar little things could be found anywhere around the world, but one must be inspired to look for them in order to see what's there.

busy busy busy

bunnies, it has been a good week.

i've been working two jobs, as i started the new one this week. the position at the new place feels like its made for me, so i really hope it will turn into a full time position soon.

i've still done my old job for the other three days of the week, and it just seems so very boring compared to the new place. i've outgrown my role so badly that all it does is bore me to death. i can get my whole day's tasks done in about half an hour, and the rest is boredom galore.


i've started reviving my creativity and it feels very refreshing. i've been doodling and gluing in bits and pieces into my little black book, and for some silly reason i'm quite excited about it.


i discovered a new ambition in me and i'm in process of trying to engage writing on a more professional level. i had a couple of short art essays published last week and the beast of lyrical exhibitionism is starting to grow stronger.


and on a completely different front, i have - surprisingly - been in daily contact with deviant, despite him embarking on his half-a-year fishing mission.

i wasn't expecting to hear from him for a while, but instead i've been receiving messages or phone calls every day ever since he left.

slightly confusing, but he sure knows how to make me smile.

i received this pic yesterday. it looks like boring his arse off sitting on a rock and staring at a bloody balloon has already started to play on his poor lil brain. i reckon he's delusional and thinking he's a pirate.

or maybe this was in reference to the following message declaring that he was in fact bored and required a delivery of finnish meat for biting purposes.

sometimes men can be like teething puppies: gnawing and biting everything they can get their hands on. quite adorable.

Friday, February 02, 2007

little black book - page 06

might be an idea to point out that the confessions are printouts from post secret blog, and not my artworks

little black book - page 05

little black book - page 04

little black book - page 03

as soon as i get my hands on a red pen or something i'm colouring the background red. but hey, you wouldn't expect a wanna-be-artist to own colouring pencils, would you?

little black book - page 02

guest starring miss pearl

little black book - page 01

as i already mentioned, i bought a luxurious lil black book to revive my creativity. i decided that i'll scan in all the pages as i get them done and post them on lbts.