Thursday, October 12, 2006

doors

opportunities are like doors. they're all around you but the difficulty is choosing the ones that are right for you. this can be applied to all the four main areas of life: home, passion, relationship and career.

for the past four years i've been living with my passion ranking as the top one. passion in this case being of course my art studies and all the three other areas have been following in it's lead.

however, now i'm nearing the end of my studies for the moment, as i am not planning to continue straight into another degree but instead plan to take at least a year or two off uni to get my head straight first.

now i find myself in a situation where i'm forced into choosing a new balance between the four main building blocks of my life. the natural choice i suppose would be career, but i'm not convinced if i want to live a career lead life again.

if i want to arrange things around my home, i need to get a high paying job to be able to afford living in sydney. this would eat away time from my passion.

if i want to keep letting my passion lead my life i am facing moving away from sydney in order to afford a house big enough to include studios for both printmaking and digital creation.

while i'm not ready to let the relationship part lead my life, it will definitely be included in the decision making process no matter which way i decide to go. i have been very happy in the relationship that i am in and don't wish to change that. hopefully i will see the doors that allow me to keep the relationship in healthy balance with the other areas of my life.

i know that the right doors will reveal themselves when i most need it, but this confusion is always as frustrating. waiting for the dust to settle down in order to be able to see clearly must be one of the hardest things in life. its so tempting to play it safe and leap through the first door that seems decent enough to compromise for. but then you miss the right one. and once you miss the right door, you miss all the consequent ones as well.

now if that bloody dust would just settle...

2 comments:

same guy said...

Oooh... self-reflection! Is it possible you've just submitted your exegesis?

Well they're big questions babe. I wouldn't try to give you answers, but a few little pointers come to mind, at least in regard to the 'home' category.

Do you *really* need to leave Sydney? Yeah, it's facking expensive. But have you forgotten western sydney? Rent aint cheap here neither but it sure as fuck beats Paddo. (example only- i cant remember where your joint is but it's closer to Paddo than I am)

Yes, you'll probably have a hell of commute in order to get to any kind of job you'd dig. And there aint as much culture. But I still live out here and I feel pretty close to the scene, despite only making it to one out of about a hundred openings.

Also do you really need your own personal print studio? Nothing against printmaking, but the startup costs are a bitch. Why do you think I'm a code artist? Digital media take up less space, are inherently reusable, and I know you've already got a hell of sexy laptop.

I'm sure there was another point. I forget. And I know you're probably not about to up sticks for Richmond. Ah well. Despite it's shortcomings, I still love the joint.

Good luck reflecting. And if all else fails, turn that deviant of yours into a sugar daddy ;)

PS what the fuck is up with blogger. It *always* makes me verify these things twice.

Every fucking time. I'm sorry but that's starting to shit me.

same guy said...

And speaking of reflecting - after finally having a few hours sleep (ive got insomnia lately hence posting at odd hours) i've realised the wrongness of my advice. THe fact is I've got it pretty easy at the moment, but this is an expensive city and that can be brutal.

I guess the core of what i was trying to say is, think hard about what you can and can't do without. Access over ownership, sustainability over convenience, all very fucking 21st century i'm sure.

Or maybe what im really saying is - baby don't go. The scene wouldn't be the same without you. *gush*