trent on universal au

"Last time I was here, I was doing a lot of complaining about the ridiculous prices of CDs down here. And that story got picked up and got carried all around the world and now my record label all around the world hates me, because I yelled at them, I called them out for being greedy fucking assholes. I didn't get a chance to check, has the price come down at all? I see a no, a no, a no... Has anyone seen the price come down? Okay, well, you know what that means - STEAL IT. Steal away. Steal and steal and steal some more and give it to all your friends and keep on stealin'. Because one way or another these motherfuckers will get it through their head that they're ripping people off and that that's not right."

"8 ways to drive a graphic designer mad'

this has to be the funniest shit i've read for ages and i just had to share this with you bunnies! (please note that this post is a direct copy-paste from ghisroy.com)

As everyone knows, graphic designers are the reason there are so many wars in this world. They get inside our heads with their subliminal advertising, force us against our will to spend money on the worst pieces of shit, and eventually, drive us to depression and random acts of violence. And of course, most of them are communists.

So to do my part to save the world from them, i made a list of things you can do when working with a graphic designer, to assure that they have a burn-out and leave this business FOREVER.


1-Microsoft Office
When you have to send a graphic designer a document, make sure it's made with a program from Microsoft Office. PC version if possible. If you have to send pictures, you'll have more success in driving them mad if, instead of just sending a jpeg or a raw camera file, you embed the pictures inside a Microsoft Office document like Word or Powerpoint. Don't forget to lower the resolution to 72 dpi so that they'll have to contact you again for a higher quality version. When you send them the "higher" version, make sure the size is at least 50% smaller. And if you're using email to send the pictures, forget the attatchment once in a while.


2-Fonts
If the graphic designer chooses Helvetica for a font, ask for Arial. If he chooses Arial, ask for Comic Sans. If he chooses Comic Sans, he's already half-insane, so your job's half done.


3-More is better
Let's say you want a newsletter designed. Graphic designers will always try to leave white space everywhere. Large margins, the leading and kerning of text, etc. They will tell you that they do this because it's easier to read, and leads to a more clean, professional look. But do not believe those lies. The reason they do this is to make the document bigger, with more pages, so that it costs you more at the print shop. Why do they do it? Because graphic designers hate you. They also eat babies. Uncooked, raw baby meat.

So make sure you ask them to put smaller margins and really, really small text. Many different fonts are also suggested (bonus if you ask for Comic Sans, Arial or Sand). Ask for clipart. Ask for many pictures (if you don't know how to send them, refer to #1). They will try to argument, and defend their choices but don't worry, in the end the client is always right and they will bow to your many requests.


4-Logos
If you have to send a graphic designer a logo for a particular project, let's say of a sponsor or partner, be sure to have it really really small and in a low-res gif or jpeg format. Again, bonus points if you insert it in a Word document before sending it. Now you might think that would be enough but if you really want to be successful in lowering the mental stability of a graphic designer, do your best to send a version of the logo over a hard to cut-out background. Black or white backgrounds should be avoided, as they are easy to cut-out with the darken or lighten layer style in photoshop. Once the graphic designer is done working on that bitmap logo, tell him you need it to be bigger.

If you need a custom made logo, make your own sketches on a napkin. Or better yet, make your 9 year old kid draw it. Your sketch shouldn't take more than 5 minutes to make. You don't want to make something that's detailed and easy to understand, because the less the designer understands what you want, the more you can make him change things afterwards. Never accept the first logo. Never accept the 9th, make him do many changes, colors, fonts & clip art. Ask him to add a picture in the logo. Bevels. Gradients. Comic Sans. And when he's at his 10th attempt, tell him that you like the 2nd one the most. I know, it's mean but remember: graphic designers are the cause of breast cancer among middle aged women.


5-Chosing your words
When describing what you want in a design, make sure to use terms that don't really mean anything. Terms like "jazz it up a bit" or "can you make it more webbish?". "I would like the design to be beautiful" or "I prefer nice graphics, graphics that, you know, when you look at them you go: Those are nice graphics." are other options. Don't feel bad about it, you've got the right. In fact, it's your duty because we all know that on fullmoons, graphic designers shapeshift into werewolves.


6-Colors
The best way for you to pick colors (because you don't want to let the graphic designer choose) is to write random colors on pieces of paper, put them in a hat and choose. The graphic designer will suggest to stay with 2-3 main colors at the most, but no. Choose as many as you like, and make sure to do the hat thing in front of him. While doing it, sing a very annoying song.


7-Deadlines
When it's your turn to approve the design, take your time. There is no rush. Take two days. Take six. Just as long as when the deadline of the project approaches, you get back to the designer with more corrections and changes that he has time to make. After all, graphic designers are responsible for the 911 attacks.


8-Finish him
After you've applied this list on your victim, it is part of human nature (although some would argue weather they're human or not) to get a bit insecure. As he realises that he just can't satisfy your needs, the graphic designer will most likely abandon all hopes of winning an argument and will just do whatever you tell him to do, without question. You want that in purple? Purple it is. Six different fonts? Sure!

You would think that at this point you have won, but don't forget the goal of this: he has to quit this business. So be ready for the final blow: When making final decisions on colors, shapes, fonts, etc, tell him that you are disappointed by his lack of initiative. Tell him that after all, he is the designer and that he should be the one to put his expertise and talent at work, not you. That you were expecting more output and advices about design from him.

Tell him you've had enough with his lack of creativity and that you would rather do your own layouts on Publisher instead of paying for his services. And there you go. You should have graphic designer all tucked into a straight jacket in no time!

top shit.

tigger bounce!

i was treated to the most hilarious case of real life slapstick comedy the other night.

we went out to the helen lempriere opening at artspace, which was a big deal this time due to pg making it as one of the finalists. so naturally we got sloshed. which was all good. in fact, we had an excellent night catching up with everyone.

i was pretty much gone so i went straight to bed when we got home. deviant on the other hand was feeling rather energetic and playful. so there i am, lying in bed and he storms into the bedroom and takes this massive tigger bounce leap into the bed.

now instead of landing on the bed like the frisky beast he is, the bed bounces him straight off into flight again and i hear this awful crash as he lands into the wardrobe. there is a silence that seems to last forever until i hear a weak trembling 'ow ...that hurt. a lot.'

poor tigger. i don't think the endless pointing and laughing helped either.

parkour at tgv

amy winehouse

fuck rehab. what this woman REALLY needs is to have her stylist burned at the stake!

[via]

love at first sight

my work mate just received his iphone.

i have to say that its even prettier irl than it is in pictures. now the only problem of course is that we're in australia, and there is no way for him to use it.

still perty tho.

guess what?

I - WANT - ONE !

parcels from mum are the best thing in the world

(just for the record: my mum roks big time!)

we found a perfect new lil one bedroom apartment with deviant a few weeks ago. we moved in a couple of weeks ago and are (still) located very conveniently in sydney's inner east.

you just can't beat the eastern suburbs. full stop.

anyhoo, this apartment is fantastic and we're both over the moon about it. we still haven't decked it out fully, but we have a list - even if a very long one - and one item at a time, we plan to make this place home.

oh, also an update: coexisting with deviant is still fantastic and only getting better by the day. who would've thunk it? i reckon the perfect balance is: i make him brekky in bed every morning and he cooks me delicious dinners. a win-win if i've ever seen one!

well, the reason i'm ranting and raving on abt mums is that i just received a parcel from mum.

she sent us a little 'welcome to your new home' pressie that contained marimekko goodies and finnish candy!

mum sent us his and hers sets of marimekko towels ('nimikko' bath towels & 'ujo' hand towels), a 'kaiku' tea towel to suit the 'kaiku' fabric i'm going to frame on our livingroom wall and of course finnish candy (salmiakki-chocolate rocks my lil world!).

now how cute do the towels look in our bathroom?

there is a giant stuffed fish head on my dining table!

no. it is not always easy coexisting with the fisherking. see, he caught his 105 kilo black marlin off the rocks this year. which - needless to say - is a big deal.

now as fas as i'm concerned that's awesome. deviant can now feel like a Real Man[tm] and the fish was uber tasty. plus there was lots of it. one-hundred-and-five-kilos to be exact. now that's a lot of fish.

well that was all good. but what happened next? the goose wanted to get his friggen fish mounted!

now there is a massive fish head on my dining table. not happy jan. not happy.

but have you ever seen a happier man?

sick lil puppy

ok. i'm as sick as a dog, all rugged up in bed hugging my laptop and bored shitless. not fun.

i think this is my cue to finally start blogging again. i mean, apart from filling my cup of steamy healing tea goodness, what else do i have to do?

retrospective: pasha bulker

here's my piccies of the big fat lady - neatly stuck between the flags on nobbys beach in newcastle:

[wikipedia: pasha bulker]

awesome tracks

unkle - burn my shadow

gotye - heart's a mess

from one addiction to another?

bunnies, i don't know what to do with this blog.

a lot has changed since the first post and it doesn't seem to serve the same purpose as it did back then.

for one, i can't seem to find time to write a decent entry. there has been loads of stuff happening lately, but i never seem to find myself in front of a keyboard within a reasonable timeframe to document the fresh encounters or experiences into blog entries.

also, i am sharing my space with another person nowadays. i'd rather be social with deviant and friends, or leave the apartment when i have free time on my hands. the last thing i want to do is sit in front of my computer.

at the moment i'm just too wrapped up in this whole nesting bullshit. must be getting old. and boring.

mebbe its just my new found facebook addiction that's peaking and eating attention from everything else?

second life

yay for new wireless goodness!

bought a new toy today.

can't wait to get home to set it up and FINALLY get rid of all those bloody cables!

winter notes with a cup of coffee

bloody winter alright!

'it snowed, hailed and rained across sydney, and we can expect more of the same in the days ahead' - smh

i'm a very lucky lil chicky to have a gorgeous whole body heater to keep me warm during the winter nights. as a bonus he also got me an actual heater to keep me warm while drinking my morning coffee.

i have to admit that i was a bit scared before he moved in. i mean, this is a 30m2 studio. plus i haven't lived with anyone for years, and its been bloody yonks since i tried to 'play house' with a significant other! so yeh, while appealing, the thought was also somewhat daunting.

i realise that a week is a VERY short time to assess such a social experiment, but i guess i just need to keep evaluating as we go. having said that, i'm absolutely loving it so far!

i like pampering him with a flat white in bed every morning, and seeing him all warm and cosy still asleep next to me while i get to do my morning blogroll.

its wonderful to come home after a day at the office and have him here waiting for me, or even better have him meeting me when i get off just so he can walk home with me. we've set up beautiful candle lit dinners with wine pretty much every night, and i love watching movies all cosy and warm snuggled up in his arms.

its the little things that make it turn into everyday luxury instead of just everyday.

in other words, my gorgeous deviant has been pulling off the perfect prince charming.

loving the new safari!

for you bunnies who already haven't done so: get the new safari browser!

apple released the new safari 3 beta on both mac and windows and fuck it really, REALLY kicks arse. i can open a folder of 50+ tabs in one window and it doesn't choke! i LOVE the fact that you can rearrange your tabs AND just drag and drop to open a tab as a separate window.

little improvements that make the biggest difference.

i heart apple.

--update

blogger editor doesn't seem to work too well on safari.

bloody brilliant!

finally an alarm clock that will stop you from snoozing endlessly:

snuznluz alarm clock connects to your online bank account and donates your precious dollars to an organisation you hate every time you hit the snooze button.

bloody brilliant i say. also, evil.

[via]

life between the shoeboxes... and the fishing reels?

looks like i'm going to have to tidy up my shoeboxes in order to make some room for the fishing reels... deviant moved in on saturday.

i nearly cracked up when he showed up. like the proper rock boy he is, the man shows up carrying a backpack and a guitar case. and that was it. heh. shouldn't have expected anything less i suppose.

he was actually supposed to come down already on friday, but due to newcastle turning into a full blown disaster zone, there was no way of getting out of newcastle on friday. even on saturday, his friend had to drive him all the way to sydney, because there was no public transport running what so ever. insane times.

i'm actually quite stoked to have my gorgeous full body heater around for the winter. nothing beats being cuddled to sleep under a warm doona when its cold outside. also, the luxurious feasts that this man cooks for me are pretty awesome. i'm being spoiled rotten and loving it!

fuck beached whales...

(pic from sydney morning herald)

...it's a bloody 225m tanker! right on the main beach of newcastle. neatly between the flags too.

this is beyond fucked up.

--update:

here's a couple of fucked up shots deviant took in newcastle yesterday. apparently there was cars abandoned all over the place. looked like something out of a bloody zombie movie!

kevin smith to do a porn comedy?

i just read a rumour that kevin smith is to write and direct a porn comedy by the name of 'zack and miri make a porno'.

as a full blown kevin smith fan, this makes me tingle inside with anticipation and i can't wait to hear the dialogue. i doubt he can outdo clerks, but fuck i'd love to see him try!

'try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!'

the film itself sounds like a smith-esque take on irvine welsh's porno. but i'm sure kevin can bring in the donkey shows, porch monkeys and of course jay & silent bob.

can't wait.

all this movie talk makes me feel like a lil smith-a-thon... starting with clerks and finishing off with clerks 2, visiting all the goodies on the way. now i just need to find a crew who's up for it.

btw bunnies, if you come across smith screenplays, do point me to the right direction. i wouldn't mind having them sitting on my bookshelf for inspiration purposes...

[via]

sex and the city meets matrix

the new dictionary according to tp:

damsel-in-distress
–verb

1. to appear as a weak female in trouble in order to achieve an advantage against potential competition.
   
   
2. to use one's feminine abilities to inspire a male to perform certain tasks that are made to appear as 'much too hard, tiresome and/or complicated for a simple and weak female to perform'.
   

—Related forms
damsel-in-distress·ing·ly, adverb

you know what's my cue? some one pulling out the good ole 'see? my crotch is just not smelly enough. i hate it when that happens...' line. that's when its time to exit the party.

seriously tho, it was all good fun. even if there was no pointing and laughing at the geek.

purple and brown

observations

for some reason the ever-reliable traditional finnish distracting method of pointing and yelling 'look, a reindeer!' does not work on project managers and producers as they sneak up on you...

note to self: must come up with a local equivalent.

what a bender!

right. last week was just a non-stop bender.

on tuesday i was dragged out by the pool queen. she was bored with her group of youngens for entertainment and wanted to just catch up over a drink or two. we found a nice cosy pub with a pool table and were joined by the frenchman. a few laid back drinkies with good food and pointing and laughing over the pool table never fails to entertain my simple little mind. bliss.

the same pub happens to have a pool comp running every wednesday, so naturally we were back on board the following day. sans frenchie, but the tiny lil finnish pool queen picked up a whole fan base within a couple of games. by the end of the night not only were we on first name basis with half of the pub, but there was also a strong fan-base rooting for the little foreign chicky to kick some native arse. she did too... until she was set against the only sober bloke in the bar (personally, i consider not drinking while playing as cheating, but as usual, no one asked me...) and got her arse kicked.

on thursday i was really looking forward to a quiet night at home, but of course that was not going to happen.

one of the uk big shots of our company was over in sydney for the week and decided to take the whole office out. we started with cocktails and pizzas downstairs and ended up continuing to the cross. a couple of drinks at zachary's (sp?) and while the plan was to hit a strip club, we somehow got distracted into melt on the way. great live funk and cranberry vodka's rok.

friday was a riot at the office. i dare say the whole office was more or less drunk till lunchtime.

i took a train straight after work and headed over to newcastle for the w/e. the night ended up being quiet drinkies while catching up with deviant's friends. all very good fun.

saturday was an awesome day and we spent most of it outdoors. somehow we ended up shopping tho. now i wonder how that happened? while i scored a gorgeous winter coat for myself (will post a piccie as soon as i have enough time to take one), deviant went and bought himself a pinstripe suit.

i have not seen deviant in a suit before and let me tell you bunnies, it was the hottest thing i have seen in my entire fucken life! there he was, trying on a dozen or so suits while i'm enjoying the show and desperately trying to hide the drooling. fuck me dead!

from now on i will be using any and every excuse i can to get that man suited up. un-fucken-real.

saturday night was citronella's house-warming party and it was prolly the worst party i have attended in my life. there was no intelligent life present whatsoever, and i dare say combining the brain cells of ALL the other attendees would amount to the equivalent of a block of play-doh. fucken waste of oxygen the lot.

on top of the party sucking, it took us about an hour of freezing our arses outdoors before we were able to score a cab. for some reason i always seem to have cab issues in newcastle.

despite the pain of saturday night, sunday was wonderful. we spent the majority of the day just sitting in the sun by the beach hugging a delicious takeaway coffee. to top off a delightful day, deviant pulled off the part of the perfect boyfriend and drove me back to sydney. not only did i get to enjoy his company for longer, i also got cuddled to sleep last night and got to wake up next to him. couldn't really think of a better way to start off a week.

...now if only the medical companies would come through with the off the counter hot swap livers already.

presents? i love presents!

sometimes mates can be pretty awesome.

when i got to the office this morning, i found this lil prezzie on my desk:

'PRESENT!

(NO MILKS WERE
HARMED IN THE MAKING
OF THIS TREAT)'

now as some of you bunnies may know, i'm lactose intolerant which makes such treats a very sparse luxury. and it was oh so yummy!

this lil surprise combined with the fact that i got to start the week by waking up next to my gorgeous man, makes me think that this is going to be a very good week indeed...

just came up with a name for the adhd finnish chicky. she shall be known as 'the pool queen' from now on.

potts point blues

fuck me dead. it took me AN HOUR to score a cab this morning. there i was, standing at the side of the road in my dress and heels with an umbrella. for sixty fucken minutes! bloody hell. i was not impressed.

now i'm in the warm and dry office, hugging a hot coffee and listening to the new bjork album. so all is well. especially considering its friday.

as a bonus, it looks like i've got a very exciting night ahead of me...

chicks & steaks!

yet another great social night out.

just as i was leaving the office yesterday, i get an sms from miss pearl inviting me out for a steak and few drinkies. what a brilliant idea and the timing couldn't have been better!

so i pick the laydee up on my way home and off to bourbon we go. great steak bunnies, highly recommended.

last week she cooked this beautiful dinner for me, and we decided that we need to catch up more often, so this was just what the doctor ordered. in fact, we plan to do the grownup thing soon, and cook a couples dinner at her place including mr hero and deviant in on the fun. that'll be interesting.

i seriously miss our daily coffee & bitching sessions. it was so de-stressing and therapeutic. mebbe we can turn this into a weekly/fortnightly ritual to serve us both with a bitching fix? i reckon that would be the go.

and on the subject of the weekend: deviant is driving down tonight and looks like i have a couple of entertaining days ahead of me. we might be catching up with sunshine tonight? and tomorrow we are going to go and see pg's new artwork. hopefully we'll be able to arrange it so that we can take the finnish chick with us. i reckon she'd love pg's work just as i do.

speaking of which, here's a grad day photo of me and pg. i had the shits with the whole ceremony by this time, so i had already returned my silly hat. but how gorgeous is the dress? you just can't go wrong with pleated lace...

tho sunshine's comment was something along the lines of 'only YOU can go and pick up a fucken university degree with cleavage!' heh. bastard.

savant mussels in white wine aplenty

i was a cranky lil chicky yesterday. must have been hormonal or someshit.

at the end of the day - with no real reason - i just sat there by my work desk absolutely fuming and hoping that no poor unsuspecting soul would choose that moment to approach me.

luckily no one did.

as soon as i could, i escaped before spreading my evil mood on the people around me. it was weird. i could just feel this overwhelming bad energy that i was unable to shake off.

the frenchman had called earlier to invite me out for a catch-up over a drink or a few. which sounded like the perfect plan. either he'd cheer me up or i could unleash my wrath on his scrawny lil napoleon arse. either way it sounded good to me.

we started at the world bar with a couple of funny irish men and then continued to a wanky lil e-bay restaurant and met up with this lovely friend of his.

the dinner ended up being heavily marinated in alcohol and absolutely delicious. the fact that both the frenchie and the his friend were intelligent and opinionated people who enjoye a good heated discussion on random wanky topics only made the experience better. its funny how you can flame up a passionate verbal battle over something as removed as the inner workings of an idiot savant brain.

all in all a good social night out that did wonders in helping me shake off all that negative energy.

bad but happy lil chicky

shit. i've been pretty bad with this blogging thing lately, haven't i bunnies?

there's a lot going on in my life i suppose, but it's at a stage where i don't necessarily feel comfortable ranting on about it quite yet.

while there's been Big Questions[tm] to deal with, i've also been very busy socially due to deviant's visits, catching up with the adhd finnish chicky (i still need to come up with a name for her...), catching up with miss pearl and there's also all sort of cool social shit happening with my workmates.

its all very, very good, but i don't have that much time to spend at home sitting in front of my computer anymore. i'll try to be a better girl from now on again.

--

last week & weekend were fantastic.

first i had an absolute ball catching up with lisa on thursday. we spent the entire night sitting on her balcony enjoying the stunning view. she kept pouring sauv blanc aplenty down my throat while she cooked me an incredible moroccan feast. the food was nothing short of divine! and i have to admit that i miss the chicky like hell! its just not the same going through a work day without having the compulsory bitching session with the morning coffee.

on friday, i caught up with the finnish chicky to do another lecture on why i love australia: i taught her the meaning of the magical lil letters 'byo' when it comes to restaurants. we fetched a couple of bottles of white and went to this nice lil thai restaurant and had a drunken feast. she was VERY impressed.

we had a ball and by the time we were reaching the end of the second bottle, deviant showed up and we continued the night at baron's. all in all a good night out.

on saturday morning we drove down to canberra with deviant for the w/e. the gorgeous man spoiled me with a dinner of dozen oysters kilpatrick and fuck me it was good!

i ended up spending the majority of the w/e sitting on the back porch petting the dog and soothing my soul with the beautiful scenery of endless pace and paddocks with cows for as far as i could see.

there is something incredibly soothing about the four elements: whether its large bodies of water, endless landscapes of paddocks and space, an open fire to warm you up or a beautiful summer breeze - it all just fixes you down to the core.

in a nutshell: life is good and i'm a very happy lil chicky.

its all good

today is good day. no, a great one.

i wake up to an email announcing that my visa application was approved, the past two days spent rugged up in my bed resting seems to have worked wonders on my flu and i feel so much healthier, i received a phone call from deviant that made me feel so much better than i have for the past few weeks and now my mates once again showed how wonderful they can me.

today i love my life. today the world is a wonderful place. today i am smiling.

note to self: there is a reason why home brand mouthwash is only $2.49 when a bottle of listerine is $7.95

graduation retrospective

right. graduation. where the fuck should i begin?

in short, it was a bloody catastrophe.

the venue was even cheaper and dodger than last year, which alone was nothing short of a miracle. and naturally, since i had equipped myself with the hottest brand new black leather pumps and a skimpy lil black dress, the weather was a textbook example of a torrential downpour. great.

little did i know that this was merely the beginning.

see, this was supposed to be A Big Day. i was graduating with first class honours and on top of that scored a university medal that was presented at the graduation ceremony. nothing quite like strutting the red carpet with a medal in one's hand to stroke that academic wank of an ego.

well, there i go, waiting for my moment in the spotlight and watch my good uni mate pg strut through the carpet and pick up his perty lil trinket. next was going to be me. fantastic, i thought. this is it.

i hear my name announced - ignoring the fact that she made it sound like i was bloody italian - there i go stepping on to the red carpet. walk up to the dean to shake his hand. my moment.

well guess what the old geezer decides to ask? 'is your family here to celebrate with you?' no you fuckwit. and haven't seen any of them for years. thanks for reminding me.

but wait. it gets better.

instead of handing me my trinket, he just gets rid of me and sends me walking off the stage. furious, i return to my seat and spend the rest of my ceremony cursing him to the lowest of all hells while staring at my precious trinket sitting on the table in the middle of the stage.

so eventually, i end up receiving my university medal in the janitor's closet from the fucken janitor. the cunt had the balls to shake my hand too. congratulations my arse.

but as usual, that's not all.

as the icing on the cake, my honours supervisor ends up pouring his coffee into the bright white velvet lined box holding the trinket.

motherfuck.

*sigh*

its been an amazing week.

like stealing a slice of goodness from under the nose of reality. i've been spoiled rotten like the feline goddess i am, purring in ecstasy and losing myself in the hedonistic wonderland of the moments when time seizes to exist.

unfortunately, like the ever certain might of mr. murphy, you can be sure that the inescapable grip of real life will tighten its hold on you eventually, and propel you on a collision course towards the harsh concrete floor of reality. the better the escape, the harder the impact.

i fear this will be rather painful bunnies.

speaking of mind boggling shit

nine inch nails brings star trek closer...

mind boggles

nin - hurt


sad kermit - hurt


johnny cash - hurt

pressies? my favourite!

how good are mums?

i (finally) received a parcel from back home. mum has a knack for packing these perfect post packages of lil pressies and surprises. this one included everything from candy to finnish quality cosmetics and even a book in my native language. that'll be a delight to read.

however the reason i've been waiting for this parcel so impatiently, is that i knew it would contain a full length piece of marimekko kaiku 560! she even included a packet of matching napkins. how awesome is that?

now all i need to do is to figure out how to rig that up on my wall...

posting spam: idiot of the week

'...but it worked so well for the coffee shop down the road...' rofl!

the quiet ones

you know the way they say to 'always watch out for the quiet ones'? i think they might just be on to something on that one.

see, i got a new neighbour a few weeks ago. i've seen him a couple of times and he's the typical nice, quiet and cute young man. hasn't caused any trouble or noise apart from the initial few hrs of kitchen renovations and moving in. an ideal neighbour really.

or so i thought.

last night i was being a good girl and got to bed relatively early. only to be woken up a few hours later by these weird yelping sounds.

there i was, lying in bed trying to figure out what the fuck was happening when my groggy brain began to slowly put two and two together, and make sense out of the combination of the rhythmic *thud* *thud* *thud* and the "oh - oh - oh!" yelps. this went on for about 10 minutes and a silence followed. 'good on ya!' i thought and tried to get back to sleep.

but no. this was not it. a moment later her yelps returned with more volume starting from 'OOH - OOH - OOH!' and building up steadily to a ridiculous nocturnal concerto that seriously does not happen in real life.

clearly he was trying to kill her and she was screaming for her life OR she had just watched a few too many pornos in her time. i mean, give me a break! think of a movie in the style of american pie and the way they'd present an over-the-top-screamer. now place her in the next door apartment behind a paper-thin wall, and you are starting to get an idea...

the 45min built-up climaxed (pun intended) into a hilarious 'OOOH MY GAAAWD!' scream as my downstairs neighbour's kettle simultaneously boiled over and she opened her window to shout 'OH, SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY ! ! !'

i was actually laughing out loud! fucken hilarious!

mind you, i hope it was a fling! while it was entertaining last night, if the screamer attempts to become a regular visitor - i kid you not - i will strangle her with my bare hands.

what a conundrum

right. i prolly have ranted about this before, but in case you haven't been reading: i don't do broadcast media.

it shits me. i don't own a telly and i don't listen to radio. and i believe my life is just that little bit more fulfilling because of this decision. (yes. i'm also a pretentious wanker, but then again you've prolly figured that one out already...)

my aversion to broadcast media can be boiled down to three major issues:

1. i don't like to be told what to watch and when
   the idea that i'd be lined up with the rest of the brainwashed herd, only to sit back and consume the so-called entertainment on someone else's terms just doesn't sit right with me. i want to choose what i watch and when i watch it.
   
   i don't want to shorten my night's sleep just because something i want to watch is on late at night. i don't want to be forced to choose between two or more interesting programs just because the competing channels are broadcasting them at the same time. and i most certainly don't want someone else to dictate a menu for me to choose from based on what the average viewer might be interested in.
   
   cause let's face it, the average viewers are people, and people in general do not have a brain. and if they do, they're not likely to use it cause its so much easier not to. why think when the people on telly can do it for you?
   
   
2. i can't stand ads
   the bad, loud, annoying and ever repetitive advertising just drives me to unparalleled rage. instead of forming my shopping list, ads are more likely to form the list of stores and brands that will never see my money. i don't eat kfc, i'd never rent an apartment from l.j. hooker(dot-com) and i would NEVER buy anything from fantastic fucken furniture. and yes, i am satan's little helper myself. heh.
   
   
3. the poor quality of the available entertainment
   yes. its shit. enuff said.
   

well. the dilemma is, that i got a joost account. am i going to stay on my high horse and continue the foaming in the mouth rant, or will i succumb and start watching?

the temptation with joost is that the time issue is removed. i can choose what to watch and when. awesome i thought. and tested.

after a brief testing - spent a couple of hrs watching some indie flicks available on joost - i came to realise that while the biggest problem in broadcast media is fixed, the two other issues still remain.

the ads on joost are - if possible - even more fucken annoying than on telly or radio. the ads are thrown on you - at twice the volume - every few minutes with no prior warning.

i was trying to watch this excellent emotive indie short flick on child prostitution, and the experience was just completely wrecked by MAYBE SHE'S BORN WITH IT - MAYBE ITS MAYBELLINE every few minutes. fucken intolerable. next time i need to buy a mascara, i will surely skip the maybelline one i'm using at the moment even tho i'm happy with the product. fuck that shit.

and what comes to the selection of entertainment, the issue with joost was not so much the quality of the programs available (as the indie flicks were great), but the problem was there's not that much to choose from. but that'll be prolly fixed as time goes.

the verdict? not that impressed.

i think i'll still stay telly free. i'd rather go to the movies or rent/buy a dvd so that i can at least enjoy my entertainment without interruptions.

besides, there's always diggnation. i am officially addicted. can i get kevin rose in a bottle on my desk? please? on the perfect male scale he's sharing the first place with dylen moran. yum.

forster retrospective

i've been so busy this week i haven't even had time to comment on the easter spent at camp-not-so-relaxo.

everyone seemed to arrive after dark on thursday night. the fact that it was not only dark but also pissing down did not help. i dare say it would have been more peaceful camping at kings cross.

luckily the rain (ridiculous torrential pours non-stop thu-sat) wore the (no longer) happy campers out and the chock-a-block camping ground calmed down by fri arvo.

we had a massive piss-up on friday night to ward off boredom. it was sort of accidental. i mean we were supposed to hit the boozer for only a couple of drinks to get out of the rain. this was at lunch time.

by 3pm the drinks started to appear with tequila/'quick fuck' shooters, and it was all down hill from there.

we were lucky enough to crawl out in time to hit the 7pm courtesy bus back to the camping ground. any more drinks and deviant would have struggled to carry me back to our tent. heh.

however, the real show started when the rest of the boys crawled back.

young master ace was running amok declaring (to the entire camping ground) that he had tagged and released some 40+yo mama at the disabled toilets.

he had also managed to get banned from the boozer, provoked the courtesy bus driver to call the cops on him, and undo abt a half of the ropes securing the nearby tents by getting tangled on the ropes while rejoicing his recent encounter with the native wildlife.

all in one night. what a champion!

or was until the point where he decided to start cranking out the worst bloody doof doof on this planet. this was where deviant drew the line. he struggles with electronic music at the best of times and young ace was certainly pushing it. deviant stormed out of the tent and the music died straight away.

i am not sure if the surrounding tents were cheering out of gratitude when deviant returned back to the tent, or for the fact that he didn't have time to put any clothes on before his crusade...

the next morning poor ace had the hung over of his life, and was making rounds tent by tent apologizing for the previous night. priceless.

citronella & deviant


camp-not-so-relaxo


citronella & deviant getting their arse kicked in soccer by the neighbouring ankle biters.

universe from the creator of we feel fine

universe by jonathan harris

another brilliant online work of art. not quite as easy to get lost in as we feel fine, but still very engaging and impressive. even more so after seeing this video of the artist discussing his work.

flatline

ooooof... when am i going to learn not to get sloshed on a school night?

see, i told you that i saw lou rhodes last night, right? well, i went there with e and birdy - two workmates of mine - and their dates. and everything went well up until the point when the gig finished and sunshine joined us with his mate captain anatomical wonder* in tow.

somehow we ended up sitting at broadway until way too late, finishing off way too many bottles of white, and enjoying yet another comedy club of pissheads competing in whose material was the most offensive and least politically correct.

in fact the competition was so fierce that the only thing we put more effort in was the drinking part. which naturally was not a good idea.

and i can tell you bunnies, this morning was not at all pleasant.

mind you it was made better by a text whinge from sunshine who was apparently even more hung over than i was. and what could possibly be more efficient in improving one's condition than comparing it to that of someone less fortunate?

(* the impressive nickname comes from a certain fucken annoying 5am phone call from sunshine. after kindly waking me up with no reason what so ever, he fucks off somewhere chucking the phone to his equally intoxicated mate, who then continues to explain - in painful detail i might add - his rather straight forward skank courting rituals based entirely on his self-proclaimed anatomical wonder)

i am in love

went to see lou rhodes at the gaelic club last night. she used to be the singer of lamb, but has since gone solo and acoustic.

she started the set with tremble (the video below) and i was gone from the very first notes. she's got the most beautiful voice and some of the lyrics are just so spot on*.

i fell so in love with her gentle tunes that i bought a signed copy of her cd. and i never do shit like that.

give her a go bunnies, she's definitely worth it.

(* if you venture out to her myspace, make sure you don't miss the track fortress)

free alcohol? my favourite!

how perty is that?

we went to an industry related happening on monday night with e - the other half of the creative team - and ended up winning a case of smirnoff a head. how good is that?

the pile is sitting at the end of our desk and i've been awfully thirsty ever since they were delivered. must be a pavlovian effect or someshit. while i can see a mighty hangover written somewhere between the lines, it is still a very perty sight indeed.

alanis still alive?

what a crack up! [via]

and just in case you need to be reminded of the sheer brilliance of the original version. i don't think lyrics have ever been able to reach such a depth before this.

classic online strips

for some reason this is still funny to me:

brilliant online art

my boss showed this site to me on friday. its absolutely brilliant!

have a look bunnies, especially you arty ones: we feel fine

team building?

fuck team building exercises, we took the 'out of my fucken way!' approach. and fuck me it was fun!

grass karting. best fun you'll have with your clothes on outside shoe shopping bunnies! it was fan-fucken-tastic!

we - the entire office of 11 people - found ourselves at the top of a very steep hill with stunning views. we got handed a helmet and told to sit on this 'thing' that they told us was a kart. it was just a metal frame with four wheels. no steering wheel, no seat, no breaks, nothing to keep you safe from killing yourself.

we got seated on these death traps on the top of the hill and then pushed down. i was honestly scared for my life and it was awesome! our tiny asian web builder didn't have the mass to keep her seated on the kart and i think she topped the stacking it chart.

one of our account managers and our programmer luveded it and got a lil crazy with the driving and performed a serious of quite impressive crashes, finishing off with the accoung manager getting seriously airborne while leaving the kart behind and ending up doing his back in big time.

i had an absolute ball. the rest of the night was having a bbq at our other account managers incredible house (with pools, tennis courts and the lot), with the creative team starring on the comedy hour. i don't think i have ever laughed as much. i was crying half of the time and i don't think it was even that funny.

fantastic times bunnies, fantastic times!

'excuse me miss, but you'll have to leave those thongs with me...'

there was a 'goodbye to our old premises' piss-up with my old work mates last night. people from the present as well as people from the past showed up and consumed the copious amounts of alcohol provided. and then some more.

we got bored at some stage with miss pearl and took off heading over to the cross. we decided to have night caps at the world bar like so many times before. now i know the place is backpacker ridden, but if you sit out on the second floor balcony, you can usually have the whole place to yourself and the drinks are relatively cheap. plus, its only a short crawl to home.

of course we got fucken carded at the door, which at that drunken state was just hilarious. what was even better tho, was that after he spotted the pair of thongs in my bag, the bouncer announced that i needed to leave them at the door. cracking up i asked why the fuck would he want my thongs and he goes 'well, if i let you take them in, you're just going to take your heels off as soon as you get in and wear them!'

wtf?

at this stage miss pearl cracks up going 'doesn't he know who you are? doesn't he realise you wouldn't be caught dead in thongs at a public place???' i'm just staring at him waiting for him to reveal that he's joking. but apparently ppl do shit like that. i just don't get it.

so there they were, my thongs, sitting and waiting by the door while we drank indoors and the bouncer was happy to hand them back to me when we walked out welcoming us back anytime.

i mean walking to work in thongs is as far as it goes. and that's only to keep my heels nice and not wear them out when i don't need to. fuck wearing thongs to a bar! funny tho.

yay for free alcohol

i got a call from my previous boss yesterday inviting me to the last piss-up at the premises we used to work at.

pretty much all the current and a good portion of the previous employees should be showing up, so it should be fun. besides, now that i've escaped, its good to go back for a visit.

its great seeing miss pearl again. its kinda weird not seeing her on daily basis anymore. also kato should be arriving and hopefully super mario too.

tomorrow i have a piss-up with the new work ppl. we're going downhill karting. i have no idea what it actually is, but it sounds like fun. also, its a bonus to be able to get home easily, since half of the office lives within a few blocks from my place. heh.

i'm actually really looking forward to spending time with these bunnies out of office, cause they really are a great bunch. entertaining as all hell and no doubt can put away copious amounts of alcohol in an impressive manner. so that should be a ball.

now if i just could get my visa application finalised today and stop thinking abt it, then i could relax tonight, enjoy tomorrow and look forward to easter hols.

stereotypes

i am a female. this means my sense of direction as well as the ability to read a map have been over-written with more complicated neural patterns, providing me with such perks as emotional intelligence, vanity and complete and utter lack of logic.

in other words, if you need product a fetched from location b, you simply don't send female c on the mission.

*grumble*

i was asked to pick up certain items from a well known office supplies reseller at bondi junction.

there i was, oh so certain of the location of the aforementioned store, enjoying a coffee in the morning on my way through the mall. only to realise on arrival the store in fact belonged to another well known office supplies reseller and that i had no clue where to find the store i was looking for.

of course eventually - after more than 30 mins of cursing and running around in heels - i managed to locate the store i was after, but fuck me it was an effort for a quick joke designed to operate as a meeting ice breaker.

such a geek

just a quick note on second life. i'm beginning to think that its quite a cool thing really.

i mean, i created my account less than a week ago, and i've already experienced some cool shit.

while the first couple of visits just bored me to death, i received a fantastic guided tour by a dear bunny reader and have gotten much more out of sl since.

i wasn't feeling too good this weekend and was thus forced to spend the majority of it indoors. since i don't support (or own) a telly, i decided to explore sl. i attended an art exhibition opening, danced to a great live blues gig, joined a minimalist techno rave, listened to a live lecture, and last but not least observed a random purple dragon trying out an impressive selection bdsm equipment. weird and intriguing shit.

and today i read about ohio university's second life campus.

embracing the reborn corporate whore me

tell you what bunnies, this 'being busy at work' is incredibly refreshing.

it is very satisfying to feel like a professional once again. i mean, the academic world is a whole different thing. i took it very seriously and did put the hours in... but its just not the same.

don't get me wrong, i'm more proud of my bachelor of fuck all certificates than prolly anything that i've done before, yet it still doesn't provide me with the same fulfillment that a real job does.

i've missed being proud of my career.

its quite scary getting back into the serious digital advertising field after so many years. i so got dropped into the deep end straight away. i've already been involved with big projects that challenge my creativity and technical expertise, as well as my capability to appear as a hard boiled professional in front of customers.

speaking of which, i've got a BIG meeting with fashion/beauty professionals tomorrow. a lil bit daunting that one. i mean, what am i going to wear?

i've just spent a good half an hour on perfecting my manicure and i can tell you that my nails look perfectly lush and sexy now. all i need is a pair of heels and a dress to go with them...

oh, the academic bs reminds me: i received a letter from the uni announcing that i scored a university medal for my honours. pretty sweet, huh?

autumn in the air

*deep sigh*

looks like autumn is coming for real. last night was the first when i had to dig up my doona from under the bed. i think its time to invest in a new set of cute pjs soon.

why is this daylight savings thing always such a bloody kerfuffle? i *never* know beforehand when its supposed to happen. fuck i was confused once again this morning when my backup alarm went off before my macbook woke me up with its soft tender air tunes.

there was a fair bit of 'wtf?!?' in the air while staring at the one hr time difference between my mobile and my laptop. and since i was not even half awake, it did take a while before the penny dropped. and when it did, fuck i was happy to crawl back under the doona.

but tell you what bunnies, this whole weather getting colder shit isn't made any better by the fact that my favourite heat source is sitting on a rock far away from sydney. what am i going to leech heat off from now?

touch base

ha-HA! finally operational again!

sorry bunnies, i've had some major issues with my connection and haven't been able to post anything for a while. also, the new job has been keeping me very busy and happily entertained. so no more posting while bored at the office.

so in other words: very busy and mildly important. yes.

the beginning of the week has been great as i got to enjoy deviant's company for three days. so i have been pampered with fantastic dinners and good wine alongside his wonderful company. it has been a good week so far.

i watched a documentary on second life the other day. had to find out what everyone was raving on abt, and downloaded the client last nite to give it a go. meh. it kinda gets boring after you get your character shaped out to your liking. what then?

mebbe my first life is just too much fun?

oh also, went brunette again. wasn't planning to do it quite yet, but i can't wait once i got my mind set on something. besides, deviant seemed to appreciate it.

shoes, oh, glorious shoes!

i got my first paycheck from my new job yesterday. oh the glorious day!

the office is right next to oxford st. now i have a feeling that this tiny detail concerning the location will have a drastic effect on my budget. so many pretty things!

i went to get some lunch with this feisty petite lil producer chicky and of course we fucken ended up shopping for shoes!

mind you i did score a drop dead gorgeous italian $400 pair of heels for a very good price. gorgeous classy cream coloured leather shoes with a very feminine vintage feel to them. it was love at first sight.

speaking of shoes, please ignore the fact that i just posted a pic of lindsay bloody lohan.

focus on the shoes bunnies

I - NEED - THOSE - SHOES ! if any of you bunnies see heels like that somewhere around syd pls let me know! they are absolutely gorgeous!

dunken glimpse

i had a dinner and drinkies night out with miss pearl, kato and mr fireman last night. bottles after bottles of white alongside a massive thai feast.

of course we got slaughtered and ended up sipping nightcaps at the darlo like so many times before.

as we were babbling along, standing in the middle of the bar, this asian bloke suddenly jumps in to inform me that its my turn on the pool. after seeing my puzzled reaction he realises that he's got the wrong blonde. instead of being embarrassed or anything, he just shrugs 'all you bloody caucasians look the same to me...' and walks off.

fuck we cracked up.

last day at job no2

well well, its not too often that you get to resign from two jobs in the same week. let alone following days!

mind you, this second one was the one i would have liked to keep... if i hadn't scored the new better one that is.

starting at the new job tomorrow so i'm a lil bit nervous. it's been a while since i've been seriously in the online business, but its like driving a bloody bike, right?

ooh, another cool thing: an old mate of mine from finland - well a lil sister of an old mate of mine that was also a mate during the years - is coming to syd for a three month uni work experience thingo. awesome.

i promised to help her find a place and try to help her through the initial shock of relocating from helsinki to syd.

she should be arriving in late april. can't wait!

more celebrating

heh. resigned from my current job yesterday. fuck me it felt good!

i marched into my bosses office - no doubt he was expecting me to beg on my knees for a job because of my situation - and gave him six-and-a-half hour notice. bunnies, you should have seen his face.

i was grinning the entire day and had a great time with miss pearl. we had a fantastic two hour lunch at clock on crown. their rump steak is nothing short of phenomenal!

i think i found what i want to reward myself with tho. there's this lil design boutique that stocks most of marimekko's fabrics. i hadn't seen some of the maija louekari's designs before and i fell in love with kaiku (finnish for 'echo') at first sight! somehow she has captured the essence of the beauty of finnish summer in the design.

one repetition of the design is 250cm and the fabric is 145cm wide. i was planning to frame it on my wall. well, stretch onto a frame really. i think it'll be perty...

yay!

wow

i got the job. I GOT THE JOB!

for the lack of a better word: i am fucken ecstatic.

called tulip up and she took me lingerie shopping and then to a fantastic spanish restaurant to celebrate. now i feel like a happy lil piggy stuffed with oysters, chorizo and sangria, and wrapped up in black lacy numbers. ooooooof...

thanks for crossing those paws bunnies, looks like it worked!

bloody fucken hell!

what a friggen morning!

ok. the office i currenly work in (and am desperate to get out of) just moved to new premises. the new office is literally a 5 min drive from my place. which is great.

or would be if i drove. but i don't. [insert here a rant abt oz ppl driving on the wrong bloody side of the road]

so, since i'm such a good girl and wanted to make sure that i'd arrive on time, i left my place more than an hour earlier than i had to be at the office.

i had to walk 2k to the bus stop, take a bus close to work and that was supposed to be it. sounds easy enough, right?

WRONG. first i'm walking through kings cross and get hassled by the usual bums and crack whores. that's no biggie. i'm already used to it.

then i walk to oxford street and get hassled by a crack whore in drag for some change and a ciggie. well s/he didn't get either. by this time i was already starting to get over it as i had been walking for a goor 20 mins and it was pissing down.

then i find my busstop on flinder st and realise that its located between a dodgy club and a sauna.

there i am, dolled up for yet another interview, surrounded by whores, drugged up party boys still continuing from saturday's mardi gras and a couple of rather frisky bears in their biker leathers.

and its pissing down. i was not happy.

then the bus finally came and i thought things were looking up. until i realised that i had no clue where it was taking me and i got friggen lost in kensington. which i btw don't know at all. so when the scenery wasn't getting any more familiar i just get off the friggen bus.

there i am, walking in the fucken rain again. lost as all hell for another half an hour. in the end i just get really fed up and grab a cab.

NOT a good morning.

but, then i get a phone call that gives me a little hope that things might be getting better... wish me luck!

in my language

it is not often that i encounter pieces of art that inspire me to think. it is even more rare to encounter something that would make me question my view towards the world around me. i am not sure if i should label the following clip under video art, but i think i will anyway.

i believe good art challenges the spectator. and i most certainly found this challenging and maybe it even managed to broaden up my narrow lil mind when it comes to the nature of communication.

it might seem pointless in the beginning, but bear with me bunnies and please watch the entire video. the video is in two parts, and the second part will reveal an explanation to the first.

thank you possum girl for sending this to me. i really did enjoy it.

encounters

went to newtown yesterday with miss pearl and we sat down in this nice lil joint for a much needed caffeine fix.

we order our coffees and sit down being all antisocial - me scribbling shit into my newly purchased calendar while she's trying to decipher a russian vogue - when some random guy in his mid thirties walks past our table and wishes us a nice rest of the day.

not paying much attention we reply and go back into hugging our frothy steaming cups. after a while i get up to pay for our coffees and the man behind the counter kindly informs me that the man that left a while ago had paid for us.

now how nice is that?

fuck men approaching at a bar counter going 'ooh look at 'em tittyboobs! how abt i ply with copious amounts of alcohol in order to have a squeeze on them puppies later?'

no. this was an honest kind gesture from a random bloke that resulted in cheering up my day and restoring just that little bit of trust in humanity.

now of course he might be a raving homicidal lunatic stalking his future prey, but still it did make me smile.

--

and on the encounters of the other kind, i ran into my downstairs neighbour a couple of weeks ago.

i was having a fantastic time spending valentine's with deviant after he had been away fishing for weeks - when we suddenly got rudely interrupted.

this chicky shows up behind my door kindly informing that the neighbours were planning to make an official complaint in case i fail to keep the noise down from now on. now the only problem of course was, that the source of that noise was keeping me up too every fucken night and i was most certainly not the cause of it.

instead of finding out who it was that has been keeping the entire building up every night from midnight to 5am, she decided to point a finger at me for no reason what so ever. i kindly explained her the situation pointing out the slight error in her judgment, offered my full support in the crazed mob witch hunt once the correct culprit had been identified, and got rid of her.

yesterday i heard that she had been discussing this lovely encounter with another neighbour of mine who also happens to be a friend. i believe her comments had been along the lines of: 'she's not very nice at all, is she?' 'i think she has a lot of men up there...' and when my friend cracked up and said she doubted it since i have a boyfriend, the dear downstairs neighbour had corrected my friend that no, really, i do have a lot of different men visiting my apartment all the time.

cracked me up.

the only person who has visited my apartment while i have lived in it is deviant. maybe the poor lil chickling just doesn't believe that one can have a healthy(?) sex life while in a monogamous relationship?

people. what are we going to do with them?

idol of the day: bill hicks

was catching up with a bunch of work ppl last night and needless to say we all got trollied. sunshine joined our merry drunken group at some stage and he ended up introducing me to my new idol:

here's one for the rest of you marketing bunnies out there... aren't we speshul?

quality shit bunnies: bill hicks

sheer stressful agony

*deep sigh*

life is not at all trouble free between the shoeboxes at the moment.

the good news is, it looks like my arse can be saved and i have found a three month contract to play me more time. my current employer promised to employ me on a contract to save my arse, but the position they're offering me is shite. however, i dare say that three months of sheer agony can be seen as the lesser evil when compared to relocation to finland.

motherfuck.

good news is that i got a few good contacts yesterday and one of them already resulted into an interview. funny that. the contact was purely accidental over a glass of wine and i found myself sitting at an interview under 20hrs from the first contact. sweet.

the job would be exactly what i'm looking for and i got along great with the guy i would be working with. so keep those paws crossed bunnies.

the bonus in this case is that it is an international company and they already have ppl on sponsorship working visas.

i should hear from them soon and hopefully he was as impressed by me as i was by him and the company...

south coast photography

s.s.merimbula just before sunset.

i am utterly fucked. did not get the job.

[insert here severe desperation, depression and panic]

freak magnet

why is it that i always attract the freaks?

whether it be a bus stop, a train or a bar, if there's any freaks in the immediate vicinity, you can start placing bets that they'll glue themselves on me sooner or later.

there i was, sitting on a train heading down the coast, reading my book and minding my own bloody business.

i noticed him from the corner of my eye walking past a few times and then sitting down on the opposite side of the aisle. i was trying my best to look entirely swept away by my book while he was trying to crane his neck back and forth in order to get my attention.

in the end i guess he got frustrated and abandoned the subtle ways of getting in contact and instead bellowed off the top of his lungs: 'oi miss... i was wondering... really nice pouty lips you've got... you mind if i draw your portrait?'

judging by the volume, he had already downed quite a few drinks, and the jolly clinking from the bag by his feet hinted that he had a few more to go.

the poor bugger turned out to be an art school drop out - 'yeh i've been at tafe for three years and that was great... but fuck uni. all that bloody theory. fuck that. who needs theory anyway? ...i dropped out.' - and was comparing his lack of interest for art school to that of dali's. 'they couldn't teach him anything either...'

while quite attractive and entertaining, he was certainly not the brightest crayon in the box. kept me amused for the majority of my trip tho, so it was all good. silly rabbit.

weekend getaway to rancho relaxo

well, what do you know bunnies. things have been good. busy as all hell, but definitely on the positive side of things.

still in the dark as far as my new job goes, but the judgment on whether i'm fucked or not, should arrive by the end of the week. keep those paws crossed.

but on the positive side of things: deviant showed up to cook me a fantastic valentine's day dinner. since he took the train to sydney and back just for that one night, i reckon it scores pretty darn high on the romantic scale.

yeh, he pulled that one off with flying colours. so well in fact, that i was inspired to go and visit him in return.

i took the train down the coast for the weekend to get some much needed relaxation.

see the boys have put up a campsite called the rancho relaxo. and fuck me this is luxury as far as camping goes. deviant's tent mahal is bigger than my bloody apartment and has not only electricity in all its four rooms but also a fucken full size fridge!

my role over the weekend was to operate as the official blood donor as far as the mozzies went. i look like someone would have been using me for bb gun target practise. not impressed.

sunday was lovely tho. deviant wanted to take me to the honeymoon bay for a swim. of course it was a piss pool filled with filthy ankle biters, so we gave it a miss.

but luckily we found this beautiful deserted beach right next to it. toasted scandinavian meat with lobster red titties. owwie.