dear, oh, dear, oh, dear...

xmas party season, shitloads of booze and fucked up sense of humour always sums upto some funny shit that really shouldn't have been said, but undeniably was.

my good friends chris and craig call me up like 11am yesterday saying that they are going to a bar for drinkies. yes. the lil alarm bells did go off in the back of my head, but what the hell, it sounded like fun.

so i join them at the courty for a drink at lunch time but since i had to work, i took off early. i get off work after 9pm and they immediately call me up going "we need your influence". i rock up at the courty again and sure as hell, the only thing that has changed is the fact that they are all absolutely fucken toasted. fair enuff, i make a good effort to follow up and end up giggling my arse off in no time.

and as far as stuffing your foot into your mouth goes, the three top fuckups of the night go as follows:

• the bronze goes to dave
  "dude, you've fucked every housemate you've ever had!"
  ...while the most recent housemate/girlfriend is sitting next to the guy addressed
• the silver goes to the harmless lil boy duo
  "yeh, like that one time when he was banging that chick on our couch..."
  "...yeh i heard her yelp for four hrs!"
  when neither of them realised that the same chick was sitting across the table and that the story had been just a *bit* spiced up on the way
• the gold goes to mr. pinstripe
  with some quality fucked up sense of humour that (apparently seemed like a great joke at the time but) ended up as a career limiting fuckup.
  

priceless.

chris and craig ended up doing a full on 14hr bender. now that's quality. and the story tells that chris successfully "exhaled his demons" on some poor bastards front yard just few doors down from my place on their way home. but i don't think i want to know the details.

and my housemate matt just informed me that they are going to the old and faithful for beers again tonight. oh dear. here we go again.