the men between the shoeboxes

eviiliä writes about the romantic loves of her life. this made me wonder about the men in my life. looking back now, they have no doubt had a major influence on me. some more than others, but every single one of them has left me with some sort of mark or a trace. a lustre of the life lived perhaps?

• the dropdead gorgeous dj boy
  - first slow dance
  - first kiss (followed by the first make out in the movies)
  - first broken heart
  - jamiroquai - too young to die, alphaville - forever young, jam & spoon - right in the night, u2 - lemon (perfecto mix), deee-lite - groove is in the heart
  
  i was abt 14-15 and he was one year younger. and the most gorgeous thing i had ever seen. it was love at first sight.
  
  i remember running into him at a school cafeteria once and got so startled that i dropped my tray on the floor. heh. being a teen was so embarassing. i luveded it.
  
  i saw him at poing (teeheehee... anyone else have nostalgic memories from these good ole tampere teen discos?) and asked him to dance the slows with me. alphaville - forever young. still remember how my heart was beating like crazy and how it was the most happiest and exciting moment of my life. of course he broke my heart a week later. there was a sequal few yrs later that was a bit more succesful, but i ended up breaking his heart after a couple of months. he has the most sexiest voice, and the things he said just made my heart skip a beat. wonderful, wonderful memories.
  
  he is still a weak spot in a very nostalgic way.
  
  
• bunnyboy
  - first real relationship
  - enya,
  
  it was the years between 17-20. he was the same age as i was. he brought me sunflowers. in fact, when we first hooked up, he brought me flowers every single time we met for the first 6 months. think candle dinners, think picnics, winter weekends spent on a secluded cottage making love on a bear skin rug in front of an open fire. it was intense, it was romantic, it was beautiful and it was non-stop steamy and exciting sex. it was everything that a first real love is supposed to be. naturally we were very young and burned the candle from both ends.
  
  
• the boy
  - he showed me the world
  - ultra bra, u2, röyksopp, manic street preachers,
  
  from 20 to 24. and he was one year older. he got me interested in travelling, movie festivals, art, whiskey, everything. he taught me how to snowboard and snorkel. he made me hot chocolate with rum. he showed me the sunrise in abu simbel, sunset in thailand and the leonids in the caribbean.
  
  he still holds a very special place in my heart and he always will. and he is the only person on this planet who can drive me into homicidal rage within 5 mins without even trying. heh.
  
  
• the russian boy
  - first foreign bf
  
  from 24 to 25. he was few years younger than me. heh. he was gorgeous, he was flirty and he was hot. it was amazing sex for a little over a year. unfortunately i think i ended up breaking his heart pretty badly in the end even though i honestly did not mean to. my future plans just didn't match with his. settling down with a family was not my cup of tea. the need to see the world was too strong and it lured me away from him. but i've got to tell you bunnies, that 6pack was just phenomenal... not even mentioning that bum. yumyumyum.
  
  
• tall, dark and handsome
  - first bf down under
  - love outside andromeda, dj scott - overdrive, john mayer - your body is a wonderland, gary jules - mad world
  
  from 25 to 26. he was my age. and tall, dark and handsome he was. all three to the extreme. he showed me sydney and he showed me australia. he showed me good times but somehow it never went deeper than that. really can't understand why. all the elements were there, it just didn't happen.
  
  
• mr. pinstripe
  - mr. big
  - air - you make it easy, air - all i need, air - biological, morcheeba - over and over, incubus - i miss you, incubus - stellar, a perfect circle - weak and powerless, nine inch nails - something i can never have, the loners - never, kurtis mantronix - how did you know
  
  i was 26 and he was younger. heh. shit hot date in a pinstripe suit. what else can i say. he had the most fucked up sense of humour and he nearly killed me with whiskey. he made me laugh. we shared a taste in music, movies and white wine. his mind was as twisted, dirty and fucked up as mine and we entertained each others with hours and hours of fascinating conversations.
  
  abt once a month he took me out on a fantastic first date, but that's as far as it ever went. we never actually hooked up. he was loyal to his more demanding lover: his ambition.
  
  i still think that he kicks arse.
  
  
• my american boy
  - tori amos - a happy phantom, arab strap
  
  i was 26 and he was way younger. so, so very perty.
  
  i was living on campus and in the beginning of the semester this gorgeous lil bearded dancer boy moved into the room opposite my window. every night he'd strip in his window and every night i'd drool. he was a fantastic flirt and had a major fetish for my toes. he taught me that even an anorectic teddy bear can give great hugs and beards are very endearing and fun to play with.
  
  he was incredibly warm, spiritual and energetic. his mere presence cured my stress and headache. it was very intence and it only lasted a little while cause he had a plane to catch. i still think he is truly wonderful and i hope i will run into him one day again.
  
  i made him muffins. there we were, wrapped up in a warm planket, eating muffins, watching the sunset and getting lost into each others eyes.
  
  
• sunshine
  - most recent ex
  - radiohead, live acoustic guitar music in general
  
  i was 27 and he was a few yrs younger than me. an intriquing packet of contradictions. bi-polar in every sense of the word. he could make me happier as well as sadder than anyone else. very intelligent and the most moral person i know. and the most naughtyest, bold flirt ever. entirely irresistible. gave great hugs and luveded back tickles.
  
  a bit too recent to see the big picture. but he taught me that body hair and manly muscles are very sexy, a guy playing a guitar is fucken hot, and he brainwashed me into radiohead.
  
  heh. the fuckwit locked me into the backyard once and bought his life with goon. good times.
  

i hold them all dear for providing my life with the rollercoaster ride i hate to love and love to hate. thanks bunnies, you rok.