labels

blame sauna, the hatchery of useless deep thoughts that i just have to share with you bunnies. here comes:

one-night stand/fuck-buddy/boyfriend/partner/whatever... what do you call that significant (or not so significant) other? is there a universal set of rules that can be applied when trying to solve this problem? who is what and when do people transfer from one box to another?

well, as you prolly guessed already, you're abt to hear my precious theory on this shit.

first of all, i think it's time based:

• one night stand = one shag
  
• fuck buddy = several shags
• date = one or more dates
• boyfriend = several months
• partner = several years

second big give away is how you talk to or abt them:

• one night stand = "nice arse, wanna fuck?"
• fuck buddy = "hey, you're no genious, but you're quite the cunning linguistic..."
• date = "the dinner was fantastic, maybe we'll to do this again some time..."
• boyfriend = "i'm looking forward to falling asleep in your arms at night so that i can wake up next to you in the morning..."
• partner = "oh, we do these trips every year. we've seen more than dozen countries so far, but there is still so many on the list..."

unfortunately i'm too old and boring to do one night stands... not that i'd have anything against them as an idea, i just happen to enjoy the attention, the flirt and the tease more than the potential result of an average fuck. so instead of going to bed with someone i wouldn't want to wake up next to, i skip the rest and just enjoy the tease phase of it.

and as for fuck buddies, i don't really know if i'd want to do them either. to me sex is a physical way of showing my feelings towards another person. to desire a person, i need to like that person a lot. and if i like someone enough to want to have sex with them, i do think that i would want to have all of him, not just his cock. no matter how nice it might be. besides, the best part is the sweet morning cuddle that suddenly turns into an insanely horny morning fuck. that just doesn't happen with one night stands or fuck buddies. tho i have to admit, that i haven't been in a situation where i'd need to make this call for yrs and yrs, so this is all theory based. i'll keep you updated if i change my opinion on this one.

heh. i was concentrating on dating for the whole of last year and that was kinda fucked up. wonderful, but fucked up. but that's a longer story. yes, i do love a quality date with a hottie in a suit. now that i think abt it, i think i've only done one or two *real* dates in my life. like, you know, the usual movie set up where a guy walks up to a chick to ask her out. or asks for a phone number and then calls to ask her out. i dunno, if i come off as scary ballbraker, but atm i can only recall one person, who has had the balls to ask to take me out for dinner so that it wasn't covered in a "how abt a nice night out as mates (that might end up being something different if you don't bite my head off...)?

i did the boyfriend thing for the beginning of this year and it was wonderful as well. and i have to admit that from these five different categories, boyfriend would be the one i enjoy having around most. you know, cuddles and falling asleep in each other's arms, agro quarrel sex, make up sex, that sweet little gesture of him bringing you a coffee in bed in the morning when you least expect him to... the little things. that's what counts in the end. and that's what you miss afterwards.

i would love to meet a boyfriend that would one day turn into a partner, but i'm not too optimistic on this one. i'm way too difficult and picky to expect this to happen. but i guess you never know, do you? maybe there is a fuckwit out there, who can balance me out and make me happy just like i can make him the happiest guy on this planet and then we can just drive each other insane as well as insanely horny and fuck each others brains out for as long as we can still figure out which part goes where.

*sigh* men, oh wonderful, fucked up, men. what would i do without you?