mussels and booty calls

heh. funny. i had received a booty call from special k at 01:30 last night. i'm starting to see a pattern that is a bit of a warning call. maybe it's a better idea to stay away from this one dispite the temptation...

frenchman wanted to take me out for dinner last night. he took me to the heritage, which was very nice. i just LOVE those mussels in white wine. we ended up having a good conversation, which i suppose was the point of the whole meeting. well, that and me getting back my $200 that he owed me.

he said a lot. i did more shrugging than anything else. meh. i dunno.

reading to relieve boredom

the good thing abt being bored shitless is that i finally have had the time to bury my nose in a book for good.

recently i've been reading michel houellebecq. recommended by the frenchman of course. i started with atomized and just finished reading platform. quite enjoyed both really. brilliantly depressive.

atomized even lend me a quote for my grad show work:

"the story of a life can be as long
or as short as the teller wishes."

today, over lunch, i was whinging to sunshine that i had run out of books to read and didn't know what to get my hands on next. he dragged me straight to a bookshop, bought a copy of oscar wilde's the picture of dorian gray and handed it to me saying: 'read that.'

righti-o. can't really argue that, now can i?

what i really want to get my hands on is irvine welsh tho. mebbe after this one...

lunches?

wow. i got stood up yesterday.

i told you that special k called the other night and invited me over for a champagne lunch yesterday? yeh well, lunch time came and went and i never heard from special k. i wonder what's that all about?

oh well, life's like a box of chocolates... and i'm the lactose intolerant cunt.

--

today sunshine invited me out for lunch.

but the bitch is just using me. he needs new shoes so he needs his 'personal fashion adviser' to pick them for him. oh well. i'll make sure he doesn't get away with friggen maccas. heh.

blue

i just had an interesting conversation with someone who has synthesesia. in his case its sound and visuals that are mixed/combined and he says he sees music as colours and patterns. VERY fascinating.

made me think of three colours: blue. must watch that flick again. must. one of the most beautiful movies i have seen.

weather forecast for the rest of the week: hot as fuck

we're living exciting times bunnies.

special k just called. i have a champers lunch date tomorrow. have to admit that i'm quite curious. this might be a lot of fun...

and abt other potential entertainment, there's a promise of a dinner with good quality entertainment by someone very dear plus an incredibly hot booty call hanging in the air for the rest of the week.

i had already forgotten how much fun it is to be fully single. cheers bunnies!

whatever lola wants, lola gets
and little man, little lola wants you
make up your mind to have
no regrets
recline yourself
resign yourself, you're through

i always get, what i aim for
and your heart and soul
is what i came for

whatever lola wants, lola gets
take off your coat
don't you know you can't win
you're no exception to the rule
i'm irresistible you fool, give in

give in...

'it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life, for me - and i'm feelin good'

such a good lil girl i am. instead of piggying up all xmas, i've been all health health health and even did a boxing day jog today.

yeh i know, quite boring but hey what can i do?

mmm... mebbe it'll get more exciting soon tho. as i've already mentioned, the frenchman is officially history. so it's time to start benchmarking the new potential entertainment.

i've received a few very intriquing messages/calls within the past 48 hrs. lot's of potential. let's see how it all goes bunnies...

two of the recent temptations are already old favourites but there's a new one. let's call the new one special k. yeh, i think that'll do.

well, special k messaged me last night. 'where are you beautiful? wish you were here..." sweet, seemingly innocent but heavily flirty. just the way i like em...

amusement

i was doing xmas shopping a few hrs before yesterday's screaming match. i was with frenchman and his good mate the brit.

frenchman was going through an incredibly painful ritual of cheese buying that took abt half an hr and costed something like $60. (fuck the french)

naturally i was bored shitless waiting with the brit. as we were standing next to the massive cheese counter ('oh my love, it iz ze best cheeze zelection in zydney!') there was this woman in her mid fourties fretting around us.

after a series of overly dramatized deep sighs and foot stomping, she got the attention of one of the staff members behind the counter. poor lil thing. as soon as she was given the chance, she just went off the roof. there was the dramatic gestures of throwing away the number ticket repeatedly, screaming, calling him names and the lot.

as i was quite amused and entertained by the whole show, i pointed it out to the brit. after observing the poor lil boy's attempts to calm her down, the brit suddenly walked to the lady and started a conversation. there was a slight stunned silence and then she went completely apeshit.

as the frenchman finally finished shopping for cheese, and we started walking off, the brit followed us with a smirk on his face.

of course i had to ask...

'oh, i just offered to give her a number of a very good anger management counselor...'

cracked me up. good value those brits with their fucked up dry sense of humour.

olen androgyyni

sinussa on paljon sekä feminiinistä naista että maskuliinista miestä - vielä enemmän miestä kuin naista. sinulla on paljon sekä miehekkäitä että naisellisia persoonallisuuden piirteitä ja toiminnan tyylejä.

olet sukupuolisesti harmoninen. mieheytesi ja naiseutesi ovat tasapainossa keskenään, eikä kumpikaan puolesi hallitse persoonaasi toisen kustannuksella. olet sukupuolen suhteen itsevarma.

olet sukupuolishoppailija! tiedostat sukupuolijärjestelmän olemassaolon, sukupuoliroolit ja odotukset - kriittisestikin. et välitä näihin odotuksiin vastaamisesta, vaan teet mitä haluat ja käyttäydyt sukupuolivapaasti. sinusta on luontevaa toteuttaa itseäsi sekä miehisten ja naisellisten puoliesi kautta. haluatkin toteuttaa itseäsi sukupuolisesti, koska sinua kiinnostaa ja innostaa sukupuolisuus, itsessäsi ja toisissa. olet hyvin sukupuolinen, sukupuolisempi kuin ihmiset yleensä - sukupuolesta innostunut sukupuolikokeilija ja seikkailija.

viihdyt sukupuolessasi - niissä kaikissa. sinua kiinnostaa ja innostaa sukupuolisuus, itsessäsi ja toisissa ihmisissä. voit olla jopa sukupuolimaaninen tai yliherkistynyt sukupuolelle.

testaa sukupuolesi

complete dickheads vs. wonderful fuckwits

this whole xmas time from my bday to new year is usually the worst time in the world. i am in a really foul mood non-stop. first its due to the usual aging crisis, then being home sick during xmas hols and nye is just the usual stress cause you just HAVE TO have a great party and HAVE TO have so much fun and HAVE TO. FUCKEN HAVE TO! grh.

last night i ended up having a final shouting match with the frenchman. the fucken cunt. i was feeling pretty fucken low afterwards. no matter how much i hate xmas i really have no desire to spend it by being screamed and yelled at.

the short version is that he wanted me to accompany him to a fancy xmas dinner at the house of his personal friend. well, yesterday he just happens to slip out the lil fact that the personal friend is actually his big ex's godfather and that his ex and her family will be there too. fuck that.

i didn't really feel comfortable going there after that, to which he responded like a true dickhead, screamed and yelled at me and gave me an ultimatum that if i didn't go, he wouldn't want to have anything to do with me after that. well, of course i take such fucken bs from no one and told him to go to hell. hence spending xmas by myself now.

oh well, at least i'm with my 'true love' and the sex is always great. heh.

anyhoo, after feeling low as hell, i messaged sunshine. we concluded that the frenchman was a complete cunt and that if sunshine ever saw him he would break his neck. as usual, made me feel so much better. heh.

later on when i was already sleeping, he woke me up with a very sweet phone call and talked me back to sleep. then this morning i wake up to a sms from him: "merry christmas you wonderful miserable finnish cunt." so very sunshine of him and he made me smile again. a lil while ago he called me again cause he was worried about me spending my xmas home alone.

he really can be truly wonderful. to be honest i think i miss him a bit. he's coming back to syd on the day after tomorrow and promised to take me out on a late xmas dindin. which should be very, very nice.

i also received a 'merry xmas' sms from muscles, but that's a whole different story. heh.

wow.

looks like i'm spending xmas home alone with not a cent on me. fish paste and crisp bread anyone?

quick look

sorry bunnies, the pics are crap. it's cloudy today and the light in my apartment is bad. i will take better pics soon...

f i n a l l y

now my wonderful lil bachelorette studio is all luvly and livable.

the frenchman took me to ikea yesterday and i bought a shitload of stuff including a desk and a bookcase.

i can't tell you bunnies, how big of a difference it makes to get my comp off the floor all set up on a proper desk and arrange my books and dvds to a nice lil bookcase so that i can finally chuck all those friggen milk crates.

i luv my lil apartment. so perty and so comfy!

i dun have any pics yet but i will take a few as soon as i get my lovely ladies on the wall and get my beg propped up on the legs i bought.

now that WAS a surprise

you know what bunnies? i had a fantastic bday.

see, as i mentioned earlier i really honestly hate bdays. i'm seriously not an emotional person, but last year i was borderline crying the entire friggen day. and if you know me irl you know how out of character that is.

i wasn't expecting this year to be any different.

but instead, i ended up having a fucken fantastic night wining and dining out with my mates. we went to the heritage, a belgian restaurant with mindboglingly fabulous food. and even tho i am most definitely not a beer drinker, their cherry beer is oh so yummy.

let me tell you bunnies: duck salad for apetizer, mussels in white wine for main course and all that washed down with cherry beer is where it's at.

miss pearl with her hunk of a boyfriend, pg and his luvly girlfriend ms a, kato, charlie, professional pirate and his beautiful preggers wife and of course the frenchman showed up. we had a ball.

oh, and after the dinner they suddenly carry a cake in!

frenchman had called miss pearl to hunt down a dairy free cake with her help. i was in the office when the call came in and i thought there was something fishy going on. but i would have never thought that the man was THAT resourceful! heh. the cake was chocolate and coconut, and oh so yummy. even tho very difficult to eat since they brought us soup spoons instead of cake forks. heh.

all in all a fucken fantastic day. who would have thunk it?

i strongly dislike these days. in fact, i fucken hate bdays. they always send me in the foulest moods ever. grh.

happy bday to me,
happy bday to me,
happy bday to mee-eeeeeee,
happy bday to me.

there, done. now let's skip the rest of the day and wake up after xmas. dankuu.

lil graduate

wow. quite the geek i am.

got my uni results back so now i've finally graduated for sure. i have to say that the list of grades over the last three years is quite a perty sight.

--

ooh. friday was xmas party at work. we organised it with miss pearl and a feast we did have.

the real hit of the night was our sangria. see, i had a lil bit of an accident with the vodka. i kinda accidentally poured in a lot. like A LOT. as a result, even the blokes swapped their beers in for the sangria. heh.

so yeh, we rok.

mid week blog

wow. peter jackson is a god. a fucken god.

and on a slightly different note, i just received a text message. a very pleasant surprise that one. made me grin. mebbe i need to come up with a new nickname soon...

i like nice surprises.

to do a 'patsy stone'

alrighty bunnies, let's get back to the very dear subject of drinking, shall we?

as we all know, there are different states of being drunk. here's a quick basic scale from 1 to 10. 1 being adorable and 10 being... erm... well, not *quite* so adorable.

1. tipsy
2. giggly
3. flirty
   
4. drunk
5. horny
6. trashed
7. shitfaced
8. off one's tits
9. slaughtered
10. patsy stone

how do you you know that you've done a patsy stone?


cause:

• way too much stolichnaya (actually, any available alcohol will do)
• no solid food consumed for the past decade or more

symptoms:

• drinking straight out of the bottle in a very lady-like manner
• responding to any attempts of removing the bottle with vicious growling and hissing
  
• repeated attempts to chase anything on two legs
• impressive acts of drunken clumsiness etc falling off a couch/falling down stairs/falling out of a cab/etc
• waking up with one's make-up magically relocated on one's cheeks and with a hairdo that would scare even the most prominent spandex heavy band members
• (extra points for waking up screaming 'eddie eddie eddie EDDIE EDDIE!", picking up a wind screen washer at the traffic lights or torching someone's kitchen by passing out while smoking)
  

side effects:

• often followed by a 'edina monsoon syndrome' - a pathetic recovery attempt filled with mantras like 'it's all health health health darling!'

and why am i ranting on abt doing a patsy stone? well. i did. on saturday. a full on 10/10 patsy-fucken-stone.

i might do a retrospective entry on this once the dust settles... but not quite yet bunnies. not quite yet.

let's just say that it involved way too much white wine, nearly getting snogged by frenchman's mate's girlfriend in a bathroom (quite the hottie btw!), dramatic exit by flying down a staircase and disappearing until i was found a few hrs later, on the other side of the city, giggling my arse off sitting on frenchman's stairs with bruised knees from the friggen staircase.

classy, eh?

erwin wurm rok!

bunnies, i think i just found a new fav artist. this guy is bloody brilliant!

instructions on how to be politically incorrect:
two ways of carrying a bomb


instructions on how to be politically incorrect:
looking for a bomb 4


instructions on how to be politically incorrect:
looking for a bomb 3


instructions on how to be politically incorrect:
inspection


instructions on how to be politically incorrect:
fuck the third world

'it's official: too much sex saps male brains'

male animals can produce a lot of sperm or grow big brains but cannot do both, according to a study that may confirm the suspicions of many women.

the study of 334 bat species suggests that energy-hungry brains can evolve only at the expense of other tissues.

writing in proceedings of the royal society, biological sciences, scott pitnick, of syracuse university, new york, reported that species with promiscuous females had evolved extra large testicles but smaller brains.

smh article

posting spam

this is just a spam i got from ms pearl this morning but i was deeply amused by it. i dunno if that says more abt my current mental flatline or the quality of the humour. but hell, just give it a go. i dare say i'll be quoting the bold ones in the future...

THINGS STRESSED WOMEN SAY AT WORK
- and other places

1. okay, okay! i take it back. unfuck you.
2. you say i'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
3. well this day was a total waste of make-up.
4. well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. don't bother me, i'm living happily ever after.
6. do I look like a people person?
7. this isn't an office. it's hell with fluorescent lighting.
8. i started out with nothing and i still have most of it left.
9. therapy is expensive. popping bubble wrap is cheap. you choose.
10. why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
11. i'm not crazy. i've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
12. sarcasm is just one more service i offer.
13. do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. i'm not your type. i'm not inflatable.
15. stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet
16. back off!! you're standing in my aura.
17. don't worry. i forgot your name too.
18. i work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
19. not all men are annoying. some are dead.
20. wait...i'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done.
22. ambivalent? well, yes and no.
23. you look like shit. is that the style now?
24. earth is full. go home.
25. aw, did i step on your poor little itty bitty ego?
26. i'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
27. a hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
28. you are depriving some village of an idiot.
29. if assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.

bugger. buggerbuggerBUGGER.

fuck me dead. the u2 sydney gig - that's 70 000 tickets - sold out in less than 60 minutes! unfortunately i was not lucky.

abt half an hour after the gig sold, there was tickets on ebay for $3500. great. i only need to swap one of my kidneys to get a ticket...

mebbe there's still a chance tho

little things

you know what bunnies? its the little things that make the biggest difference.

i just enjoyed the most beautiful brekky purring in the morning sun and enjoying a near perfection flat white with cereal from my new beautiful coffee cup and bowl.

pleases the eye and soothes the soul i tell you.

it looks like its going to be a beautiful day today. even tho i have to head way out west to penriff. right now i'm feeling so good that i have no doubt i'll be able to cope with cityrail.

ooh, don't forget bunnies: u2 tickets come on sale today!

domestic shoppity-shop

cups and bowls and shit. yay for no more plastic plates!

i've been on a search for some plates and bowls for quite a while, but i haven't been able to find ones that i like. i wanted plain white colour, simple clear shapes and understated elegance.

today i happened to check out what victoria's basement had to offer and finally found what i wanted. s&p momo is where it's at.

jog in the sun with jay kay

such a good lil girl i am today. just came back from a 9km jog. was absolutely fantastic.

tho i have to say that spending too much time with the frenchman is not healthy. my fitness level has gone down SO much. even the slightest hill made my heart rate jump all the way upto the omg-im-going-to-have-a-heart-attack! level. not fun.

oh well, maybe i'll just swap the time i've spent with him to jogs. i think that'll be healthier and more entertaining.

the only thing i don't like abt running along the water all the way to the opera house and back is the tourists. they shit me to no end. fucken bus loads of japanese with their cameras is the last thing that i need when i'm sweating like a xmas ham in the oven.

but jay kay was there all the way whispering sweet tunes to my ears and he made it all ok.

shit. i think i burned my arms. note to self: must buy sun screen.

how could you do this to me jay kay?

i have worshipped you as a god ever since i was a stoopid lil teen girl. i paid big bucks to see you play live and let myself be hypnotised by your uber funky dance moves. you were truly amazing and nearly blew my mind. in fact, i think i need to have your bastard child.

but where jay kay, oh where was 'too young to die'?

i waited and waited and was so sure that you'd at least crank it out loud as an encore. but no. you obviously do not love me like i love you.

how could you do this to me jay kay? how could you?

hangover friday morning and then back on the horse

man. this christmas time is pretty fucken hardcore. from piss-up to the next and everyone seems to demand attention and time. which keeps me busy and entertained so it's all good.

first sunshine takes me out for lunch. which was very nice even tho he had to rush back to work.

right when i walked into the office, frenchman calls asking me out for lunch. which was a bit odd out and of the blue since i hadn't really heard anything from him since monday. i promised to accompany him for a coffee and it was alright. he seemed to be in a better mood and i copped no bs at all. apart from him being shitty abt me being too busy to see him lately.

oh well, 'serves the dog right that the bones are hard to chew'*

then after work we went for a coffee with ms pearl. gingerbread latte rocks. the first half that is . the rest was way too sweet. all the syrup must have been sitting on the bottom. after coffee it was party time again. kato joined us up at the cafe and we headed to a dodgy darling-it-hurts pub.

it was shirley's bday last night and he invited everyone from work to piss it up full on. yes. shirley is a he. apparently it has something to do with his german accent and the word 'surely'. anyhoo we got absolutely shitfaced. it was all pub feed, strongbow and being extremely loud and annoying as a group. which was of course fantastic.

frenchman rocked up with his mates and he was being all obnoxious and annoying. was shitting me a bit but then i decided i was way too drunk to give a fuck. he others comtinued clubbing so i left with him and we ended up pissing up at his place with a good bunch of his mates. which was fun.

then i got a bit bored with all the endless architect bs conversations, and started to get sleepy so i decided to fuck off home to get some sleep. then naturally he got shitty. no idea what the situation is atm. haven't heard anything from him today. oh well. as i said to him before: no drama. this table is easy to clean.

not really in the mood for any bs. i'm way too hyped up abt tonight and jamming it up while drooling after the god-like jaykay himself! wooohoooooo!

bunnies, put on 'too young to die', crank it out LOUD and jam it up with me!

(* a quick translation of a finnish saying 'oikein koiralle, että luut on kovia')

oooOOOooof...

fucken free wine.

i went out with miss pearl and pg after work yesterday. we did a commercial-contemporary arty free wine combo. we started from a fine arts auction preview and continued to the uws honours exhibition.

i blame my current throbbing headache on the fact that the guy pouring the wine at the auction preview was just in-fucken-credibly hot. although mr bear's gaydar told me to give up all hope. but i'm telling you bunnies: hot. hothotHOT.

*owwie hurty head*

we continued to woolloomoolloo to the uws honours exhibition. i saw the works already at our grad show, but it was cool seeing them in 'a real gallery'. stephen fox and daniel green kicked arse. big time. good shit.

pretty much all my teachers were there and a few fellow students as well. we continued to piss up and ended up sitting at a pub nearby with all my teachers. good times.

and man did we get pissed. i was giggling all the way home.

i was smart enough to open my curtains before i fell asleep. this morning i woke up to the most beautiful sunrise and decided to get up even before my alarm went off. practically a miracle considering the hangover and the shattering glass skull.

[grumble]

had a BAD DAY at work. but that's enough abt that. still too shitty to type abt it. boring shite anyway bunnies.

--

and from corporate whore bullshit straight into relationship bullshit. see, i wasn't supposed to be in one. 'just for fun, no emotional attachment, no promises, no expectations'. right?

wrong.

now i'm copping a relationship worth of bullshit from left and right without really having the benefits to go with it. well, not all of them anyway. i am starting to get so very tired of this.

mebbe i should do something abt it. lemme see.

--

caught up with sunshine again on my way home. stopped over for a drink and had a very satisfactional bitch. and in exchange he got a chance to mock a certain nationality. which he always seems to enjoy.

funny thing that one. good value i suppose.

--

i was supposed to go and see the bloodied cunts do a gig at the abercrombe tonight. but now i'm way too pissy to go. first the work bs and now i'm just waiting for this mountain of personal bs to crash my spirits for the rest of the night.

my only hope will be that i will have a chance to get my hands on some spirits before that. that might numb it down to the pointing and laughing level. mind you that might not be beneficial for keeping the peace.

fuck peace. yeah.

from dieting to ghosts via sodomy and necrophilia

grh. i think i've been taking this 'starving artist' bs a lil bit too literally since i graduated. i can tell you bunnies that porridge for brekky, lunch and dinner get's old pretty fucken fast.

oh well, 'involuntary dieting' brings great results and i'll be wearing bikinis in no time.

'...always look on the bright side of life
[insert here pathetic attempts to whistle the tune]
always look on the light side of life...'

in other words: counting hrs to pay day on sat. oh yes, there will be a feast.

--

which reminds me: i saw the best tagline ever on the paper the other day.

'SAW II - oh yes, there will be blood...'

pissed myself laughing. i had to sms it to sunshine straight away cause i just knew that he'd appreciate it as much as i did.

--

speaking of sunshine, he went apeshit when i mentioned sunday's incident with the french driving. it's prolly best not to quote him here but the message was something along the lines of sodomy and necrophilia considering a certain nationality. yeh. not perty.

kinda cute that he cares tho. i do hold my fuckwits dear even once i'm done with them.

--

ooh, speaking of ghosts from the past: dui (my dear flatmate on campus for 2 yrs) smssed me last week and invited me out for drinkies with him and the boys at newtown. sure enough i got on the train and was giggling over a glass of white in no time.

even tho i hardly ever see dui we still keep in touch, but the ghost from the past in this case was phoenix (was pretty much my best mate for the second year) who i haven't really heard anything of since our lil falling out lil less than a year ago.

it was really good seeing both of them again. phoenix called me after i got home and we agreed to do a proper catch up soon since there's almost a year worth of ground to cover. i think it sounds like a very good idea.

yet another ordinary day in the world of shoeboxes

last night i had to witness a not-so-flattering event in the frenchman's life.

we were going out for dinner and the plan was to catch up with a couple of his mates on the way. well, we did. the shitty part was that 'catching up' is french for 'an excuse to drink lots of wine'. which as such is all cool and groovy. but. BUT. the problem comes in when you add the french idea of 'sober enough to drive'.

fucktard.

he got done in for drink driving on our way home and i was so incredibly embarassed to be in the car to witness the event. i can't believe i was stupid enough to get in the car in the first place.

he started his misbehaving a day early. he received his australian citizenship today. i'll still call him frenchman.

you can get the guy out of france but you can never get the french out of the poor bastard.

still a fucktard.

friday, bloody friday

drama drama drama.

gah. thank fucken hell my uni bs is over already so that i am slowly starting to gain the necessary energy needed for dealing with ppl bs.

won't bore you bunnies with details but it's revolving around the ever so familiar topic of double standards. i can't even begin to explain how fucken frustrating it is to have someone expecting you to deal with unnecessary bs yet not willing to cop the same in return. grh.

you know, i think this shit is very simple and clear:

[1] you can't ask for something you wouldn't be willing to do yourself
[2] you can't do something that you wouldn't want to receive

simple? i think so. yet again and again i find that people just expect to play with two sets of rules. fuck that.

--

on a happier note: saturday week is jamiroquai! can't wait!

today i also heard that u2 is doing a gig in sydney next march. that's a third must see in lil over half a year (first was of course nine inch nails a few months ago).

exhausted

ex·haust
v. ex·haust·ed, ex·haust·ing, ex·hausts
v. tr.

1. to wear out completely.
   
2. to drain of resources or properties.
3. to use up completely.
4. to treat completely.
5. to draw out the contents of.
6. to let out or draw off.

[dictionary.com]

sorry abt the long radio silence bunnies. but i have been. and still am. exhausted that is. the last month has been incredibly draining and i still have a lil bit more to go before i can kick start the maintenance process and repair what's left.

so here's just a few short snippets to tell you the most important bits.

--

friday was great. i had my work all set up on time. and the best part was to be able to sneak in with the random visitors and observe their reactions without them realising that i was the 'artist' in question. most of the ppl just cracked up. some of them didn't realise what they were watching. and of course, some were slightly offended. the best reaction i witnessed was by a couple in their mid 30's.

[a couple walked into the space, looked at the projection for a little while after which the content obviously dawned in on them. she turns around to walk out with a very displeased look on her face...]

she: 'some people are just sick!'

[he looks a bit confused. looks at her, glances at the projection, looks at her walking out and finally decides to follow her. ]

he: 'ummm.... but... but... i like the colours...?'

[once again i choke on my wine in the background]

--

this made my day yesterday.

--

i've been a sick lil puppy since friday.

all this stressing ended up causing a weekend of nauseousness and suffering endless non-stop stomach cramps. (nonono... don't look at me like that. i know what you think, but i'm telling you it wasn't just hangover!)

on monday morning the frenchman got me convinced into seeing a doctor about it. i hate quacks and wouldn't see one unless i was dying. but his entire family are friggen doctors and he was very persistent. ( i dare say just very tired of my whinging)

so i went.

first thing she asks is if i was preggers. after i told her to fuck off she started to examine the damage. she gave me pills. 'pop one before every meal and you'll be fine in no time.' right. well. the bloody package told me nothing abt the drug or what it did. so i googled it:

indications and clinical uses :
in the management of manifestations of psychotic disorders such as agitation, confusion, delusion, tension and anxiety.

it is also effective in controlling nausea and vomiting due to stimulation of the chemoreceptor trigger zone.

in selected patients, prochlorperazine may be of value for the relief of excessive anxiety, accompanied by severe tension and agitation, associated with psychoneurotic or somatic conditions.

. . . W T F ? ! ?

full artist portfolio online

just a quick note to those bunnies who know me irl: as a part of my grad show work i published my 'artist' portfolio online.

in case you're interested to have a look the address is www.firstnamelastname.com

and here's another one to save your day...

certain cases of mouth cancer appear to be caused by a virus that can be contracted during oral sex, a swedish study shows ... "you should avoid having oral sex," dentist and researcher kerstin rosenquist, who headed the study, told swedish news agency tt.

article at smh

a lil treat for you male bunnies...

a rugby fan who cut out his testicles with wire cutters to mark a wales victory is at a loss to explain why he did it.

"it wasn't a bet but i said i'd cut my b*lls off if we won ... so i started hacking away at my tackle ... it took about 10 minutes and there was quite a bit of pain but i just kept going ... the cutters were blunt so i had to keep snipping."

article at smh

where did that weekend go?

friday is getting closer and closer. *panic*

must: finish video. author dvd. build gallery space. paint gallery space. set up dvd player, projector, speakers. write an essay. create a graduate portfolio. and and and...

* P A N I C *

but after friday i'm a very happy de-stressed lil chicky.

no sunshine for grad show tho. the fuckwit is busy doing some other shit. promised to marinade him in cheap white wine for that one. and maybe punch. in the face. hard.

even so, grad show should be pretty sweet. a bunch of my work mates are planning to make the hike. frenchman has promised to come and take care of photography. also, i managed to book mr. pinstripe for some good quality pissing up. well, almost. he's driving. but i'm hoping that he'll go hard core once we continue the party in the city. he fucken better. after all, it is My Very Big Night.

which reminds me: i finally got my ladies back! mr. pinstripe came by yesterday to return my lovely ladies and brought me some new music too. such a good boy he is. our taste in music (and movies) is very similar and he is always introducing me to some new good quality tunes.

i gave him a tour around the place and he was pretty impressed by my beautiful lil batchelorette haven.

it was very good to catch up tho we still had to postpone the real hard core piss-up of a catch up. should be booked in as soon as we both finish uni bs for this year.

interesting fact for monday morning

a study conducted by ucla's department of psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. for example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

however, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to prefer a man with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat jammed up his arse while he is on fire. further studies in this area have been cancelled.

email educated by swingingsusan

such a good girl i am

frame 27-02 from Milking The Cow

finally. finished printing the last of my Milking The Cow frames on wednesday. and what's even better, i got all the 120 images scanned in too.

now all the rest of the work that needs to be done (apart from building the damn projection space) can be done right here at home, sitting in front of my cranky lil lovable baby. i love my comp.

you know what bunnies? i think i might be able to pull this off after all...

when the alarm went off this morning, the first thing i saw was a very concerned looking half asleep frenchman. he talks to me in a serious voice. he says:

"can you imagine the powers that could be unleashed if someone got their hands on the hat or the locket?"

me? i crack up. freak.

funny that

i have to tell you bunnies, that my dear mates are at least as fucked up as this soap opera called my life.

the most recent fucked up plot twist is that a very good friend of mine has decided to write a script based on my fucked up adventures. i can only guess which juicy and embarrassing bits get written in and how my wonderful fuckwit men are portrayed in it.

but to be honest, i can't wait to read how she decides end the story. heh.

silly bridget!

i was not aware that you can compress so much embarrassment into such a short time and space. yes bunnies, i went to a dance class.

see, i used to dance when i was a stupid lil teen shit. i used to dance, perform and even compete. did a pretty decent job at it too. i wasn't anything great, but i did alright and i had a great time doing it.

then, 13 yrs passed.

now, in the sad present day i'm just old, stiff and look friggen ridiculous. was not fun. i dare say i'll stick to my jogs to the opera house and back. much better work out with much less embarrassment. besides, it's free and you see hotties instead of sweaty fat unco arses all around you.

grad show invite

(invite front)

(invite back)

old, boring and conservative?

domestic shit. not really my field. in fact this whole lack of nest building instinct makes it extremely uncomfortable to try to gather all the necessary crap around me. why doesn't The Home just exist as a readymade?

i have a theory. i've prolly mentioned this before, but just in case you're a new bunny and haven't been exposed to my genious yet: i must have been queuing for the dunny while they were handing out nest building instincts and biological clocks and when i got back the only thing left was the excess pairs of balls *shrugs*

fuck shopping for bloody coffee mugs.

yeh well, back to the real world. i had to. so i did. quilt covers and sheets too. but the funny thing was that after i was done, i was surprised by how conservative my choises were.

my new sheets are white on white. very minimal and plain. traditional milk shake glasses for smoothies, white plain coffee mugs and the most traditional espresso stove pot you can find. i wonder what that's all abt?

it seems that the more fucked up my mind and creativity gets, the less i have the need to reflect it around me in anything other than my artworks (or drunken conversations). contrary to what i was as a troubled lil teen angst shit, i don't have the need to dye my hair in all the colours of the rainbow just to scream out that i am an individual. i dun need to dress up in second hand rags to spell out that i am an [A]rtist with a [S]oul.

fuck having a soul. i'm one half corporate whore and one half pathetic wanna-be-artist. of course with my luck i've ended up being soulless and poor instead of having money and a heart. heh.

in fact, the older i get the more pathetic and ridiculous all that seems. all i can think is that ppl should just get over themselves.

maybe i should get over myself, quit this fucken whinging and go shopping like the good lil girl i am. *deep sigh*

perty new baby

fuck renting a fridge. had enough shit with the rental places and instead of fiddling around with them i went and bought my own. much easier.

xcept for the delivery bit. heh. just a hint bunnies, a sporty coupe-type bmw is NOT the best vehicle when fridge hunting. did the job tho. and now my perty new lil bar fridge is purring in my lil kitchen just waiting for me to fill her with goon.

let the summer begin!

ok, now it's officially summer season for this lil girly!

yesterday i tested out my roof top pool and today i made my first smoothie for this summer. join in on the fun:

1/2 mango
banana
(soy) milk
coconut & pineapple juice

blend it well and i can tell you bunnies, that it's even better if you combine it with bikinis and sun by the pool...

i think this shall be the best summer in sydney yet!

"the most exciting thing is not doing it. if you fall in love with someone and never do it, it's much more exciting."

-andy warhol

friday morning giggles

soooo perty

you know what bunnies? having a kick arse view makes even early cloudy mornings more bearable. borderline beautiful. join me for a cup of coffee, will you?

finally got rid of the pathetic 56k modem i've been using for the past 4 months and now that i have my own place, i upgraded to adsl2+. better than sex i tell you. ...well, you know. almost.

even tho i'm still missing most of the compulsory shit (no fridge, no desk, no micro...) i have the essentials: big uber-comfy mattress on the floor and my baby is connected with a kick arse broadband connection. yay.

--

disgustingly romantic smssing:

frenchman: 'where are you cunt?'
tp: 'none of your business wankface.'
frenchman: 'you ROK!'
tp: 'i know.'

--

this shit cracked me up. [via]

sum of my own experience

"if a man accepts that everything must change, then his life is reduced to nothing more than the sum of his own experience - past and future generations mean nothing to him."

- michel houellebecq

for some reason that quote just seemed to sum up my own view of the world pretty fucken well.

--

went to uni today and had lunch with a couple of my uni mates. i think i was having a whinge and a bitch abt something when one of them cracked up going:

"hang on... you actually call him 'frenchman' in real life? and i thought it was just a nickname for the blog!"

heh. they thought it made him sound like a toy. i never really looked at it that way. kinda funny. no wonder frenchman hates the fact that i never call him by his real name.

[eject]

had a bit of a freakout the other morning.

(pointless detail: the frenchman makes snoozing into an artform. this particular man has THE most loud and annoying alarm clock. the first time i heard it i nearly got a heart attack. frenchman? he doesn't even flinch. that friggen thing can scream for half an hour and he doesn't do a thing to silence it. grh.)

back to the story. spent the night (once again) at frenchman's place and in the morning i woke up before he did. i had already dressed up and had my brekky before he got up. i was feeling a bit weird the whole morning and then suddenly, just as he stepped into the shower, i snapped.

[insert here a sound of a dry twig snapped into half]

without a word, i just gathered my shit and walked out. all i could hear was a '...heyheyHEY!?!' from the shower as he heard the sound of the door. i got into the lift before he had a chance to stop me. the phone kept ringing all the way down (VERY slow elevator) and the neighbour sharing the ride gave me funny looks.

it was quite hilarious really. me marching down the street in my girly skirt and high heels with a nekkid frenchman hanging out of the 8th floor window screaming 'OI! where the fuck are you going?' after me. i turned around, waved with a grin and fucked off.

i wonder what that was abt? all i can offer as an explanation is that i suddenly just experienced this really strong realisation that i don't belong there. and i just had to eject myself right away.

[insert here the sound of pressing
the eject button on an old c-cassette player]

i guess i am a bit of a weirdo.

losing it again bunnies

i can't stress this enough: boredom is dangerous. extremely dangerous.

last weekend i chopped my hair off and bleached it. now it's very short, very messy and very VERY blond. feel all girly and summery again. and perhaps entertained for a lil while. which is fantastic.

yesterday, the frenchman shows up at my door with three pages of printed out blonde jokes. fuckwit. looks like he is enjoying my new look as much as i am... just in a lil bit different way.

note to self: must get even somehow. oh well, the french are an easy target. plenty of material to choose from.

--

morning was supposed to be efficient and good: sleep a bit longer than usually, doll up, receive a fridge at 10am and fuck off to work. sounds simple enough, right? wrong.

during my daily morning clothes crisis i managed to pour an entire half a litre "mug" of coffee into my shirt drawer. fuck. don't ask me how it happened. no matter how many times i play the scenario in my head, it still doesn't quite add up. but it did happen. needless to say i'm wearing black today. and leaving a seductive coffee trace behind me where ever i go.

then while dolling up my fucken bathroom ceiling lamp just falls down. missing my head by an inch or so. (fair enuff, i guess it could have been worse and actually hit me in the head and knock me out...) so there it is, my friggen ceiling lamp, dangling mid-air. fuckity-fuck.

then the fridge boys show up. hour and a half late and bringing a friggen full size fridge instead of the bar fridge that i had ordered. bloody fucken hell. there was no way it was going to fit into my cute lil kitchen and the guy has the nerves to suggest that i should leave it there in the middle of the floor. nearly punched him.

need chocolate. and caffeine. lots of both.

crazy times

flat out. that's all i can say.

just finished packing my old apartment and waiting for the car to arrive to move all this junk to the new place. dun have a fridge. fuck. bit of a problem really. i won't have net connected for a week or so. *panic*

the frenchman has been keeping me borderline sane lately. and entertained. and drunk. which helps.

the frenchman and sunshine met briefly yesterday. was weird. frenchman drove me to newtown to pick up the last of the shit that was still stored in sunshine's room. sunshine helped me carry the boxes into the car. threw the shit in and fucked off fairly quickly. frenchman's been trying to milk out every detail of my past relationship since that. men are funny.

slightly less stressed but just as homicidal

i was quite the massacre waiting to happen for the past couple of days at uni. i think ppl noticed it too, cause everyone seemed to stay out of my way and all the communication was pretty much limited to:

'are you ok with coffee? want me to bring you a new cup?'

apart from the mad lil lady. i'm sure she's a wonderful person and everything. but keep her away from me or i shall surely snap. like a dry brittle stick with a shotgun. snapity-snap. snap snap.

--

was shitty as fuck again last night. i just really, REALLY don't like disappointments.

there's a looooong history. but the current situation is that i have a dear mate who i never really get to see. he's one of the few ppl that i actually give a shit abt even tho i haven't been in any contact with him lately. haven't had the chance to properly catch up with him over a glass of white for over a year! a friggen year!

once again, we were supposed to meet up last night. and once again the plans got cancelled because of his personal bullshit hitting the fan. shits me. shits me to no end.

what the fuck is it with all these fucken paranoid bitches making my life more difficult?

bunnies, go for the sane bitches. please! or at least keep them on a shorter leash. preferably with a muzzle. mmm-kay?

it's all bikinis and pina coladas from now on bunnies!

the water view from my window



the elevated swimming pool on the roof top terrace with 360 views

the new apartment... THE new apartment. i'm so excited it's not even funny. moving in next weekend and can't wait. now i just need to come up with a studio full of furniture, fridge, pots, pans, plates, cups and all that jazz before next weekend.

at least it's not boring

bunnies, if my life could be any more of a tragic slapstic comedy, you could rent it from your local video store.

this morning i played a new part.

soothing rays of the morning sun coming through the window into a stylish bedroom with amazing views and a gorgeous kingsize bed. a couple sleeping cuddled up snug as a bug. obviously hungover, not wanting to face the world just yet.

he whispers sweet words into her ear. she grins half asleep. as cynical and sceptic as ever, but with a tickling after thought that maybe one day she might actually believe his words. doze off again.

suddenly the door opens and a woman walks in. surprisingly calm. young, pretty and well dressed. she walks to the bed and addresses the still sleeping man: 'frenchman, who is that girl in your bed?' [insert here laugh-on-tape]

cut to the hungover girl exiting the building, wearing one stiletto heel and trying to step into the other without slowing down. still not quite awake enough to decide if she should be amused or upset by the previous scene. undecided, she starts walking home enjoying the beautiful spring morning.

her phone rings. fantastic news. she is the brand new tenant at a beautiful little apartment with a stunning roof top terrass swimming pool. she had been dreaming about the apartment a lot lately. non-stop since she went to see it a few days earlier.

she walks home planning a pool party for her birthday. pina coladas or mango daiquiris? she couldn't decide.

heh. funny things, national stereotypes. could a french man be any more of a french man?

whoa... hello! loud voice. very pain!

oooOOOoooof. my poor lil head feels like i slept in a cement mixer. heh. and judging by the way i looked when i woke up might as well have. you just gotta luv champers.

we had a MASSIVE preview night at work last night. it was fucken insane. the place was packed and every time i carried a tray of food out to the gallery space it was like a re-enactment of a scene from birds. scary shit.

i think i might have to do an oporto run for brekky.

--

oh, that reminds me... the frenchman has been such a good boy lately. i'm seriously beeing treated like a princess. need to be careful not to get used to it.

i woke up to the most beautiful sight this morning. i've never been to the frenchman's place before but we ended up going there last night after he picked me up when the preview night finished. such a drunken giggly girl i was. i think i even did the russian mail order bride impersonation to his flatmate. heh. "ruski. mail orrrderr. da." but when i opened up my eyes this morning, the first thing i saw was the sun rising over the most amazing view of elizabeth bay from his window. stunning. then the headache kicked in and the picture got blurry, but that's a whole different story.

i think he tried to have the talk this morning. managed to dodge it by calling him a nutcase and escaping the car. a close shave that one.

unhappy monday

after such an amazing weekend, going to work on monday was such a fucken nose dive straight into concrete.

awful day at the office. nothing worked. my brain felt like it would have been cushioned in cotton wool that prevents any communication going in or out. none of my so called creative cells seemed fully operational. i was cranky, shitty and under way too much stress.

but then there's msn and those funny fucked up lil messages that make me grin, giggle, laugh out lout and blush in turn.

i wish the weekend could have lasted for longer. it was quite wonderful in a way that i haven't experienced for as long as i can remember. it's quite confusing being treated like a princess. i've been so used to dickheads that i didn't remember it could be like this.

it's quite fucked up feeling uncomfortable because you're beeing treated like you should, don't you think?

...and abt the messages, i think i preferred the ones that made me blush.

wonderful weekend

quite the resourceful young man this frenchman. today, he showed up behind my door with a beautiful big gift wrapped box full of salmiakki. you can imagine that i was quite impressed. heh. he tried it and naturally hated it, but hey, more for me.

i have had the most amazing day today. first we went for a coffee in the sun and walked around paddington. then we went for another coffee at luna park, kicking kids and enjoying the weather. and for a perfect finish he took me to watsons bay for hrs of walking around at the beach, enjoying a mind boggling view of sydney while purring at the sun and being disgustingly romantic. having a fantastic late lunch of fish and chips in this beautiful restaurant at watsons bay and to top it off a glass of fantastic white wine at a nice lil restaurant at woolloomoolloo.

i'm telling you bunnies, i'm being treated like a bloody princess. i could get used to this you know...

the proposition

ended up seeing a great flick last night. the frenchman wanted to take me out to see the presets at the metro but it was sold out. so we decided to see a movie instead. the plan b was to see little fish but of course the last screening had started 20 mins before we got to the theater.

the proposition had just started. 'a super violent australian western with great cast and written by nick cave' i was told and it sounded pretty damn good. and i can tell you that it was too.

after the movie it was fantastic cocktails and good tunes at candle light. a fantastic night, once again.

blogspotted!

swingingsusan - i just found out that my crazy ex boss blogs too. she's funny as fuck that woman. an endless source of entertainment i tell you. and prolly the only female i know that uses the word 'cunt' as much as i do. strongly recommended bunnies.

"What else...Oh I created Nick Cave in the Sims only for him to electrocute himself trying to fix a fucking oven and died. It took me so long to get his nose right.

The picture is Discoman in sarong sleeping on a Saturday arvo. I really wish people wouldn't buy him things like sarongs - cause he wears them - he likes the fact that my mother told him that they go nude underneath in Sri Lanka so he is now free-balling in that dirty sarong in my house - so very wrong."

oh and the notorious discoman is my video art lecturer from uni. crazy bunnies both of them. and very good value.

un-fucken-believable

exs. you know what i'm talking abt. i still think that you should be allowed to drag them behind the barn and take care of them once you're done. clean and simple and none of this bs. grrrroar.

it's incredible how much the lack of payout (read: rootage) brings the level of tolerance down.

no, i do not have to listen to your bs anymore. i don't need to hear you whinging abt your fuckwit of a day at the office. and most definitely no, you do NOT have the right to get the shits and get all bitchy abt my current social life SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!

double standards must be one of the things that shits me the most. shits me to fucken tears. everything is peachy as long as they are the one who's moving on. but lo and behold if i have the nerve to re-direct my attention to someone new.

yes luv, i'd love to hear your petty comments. what was that? oh yes, pls get personal. and oh no, there is absolutely no need to think abt my feelings since you know, someone else is taking care of that part already.

yes. let's be friends and i'll take your bs while you sit back and relax. you know what? let's not.

wine by the sea

the frenchman took me out again. he drove me to bondi and we went to this beautiful restaurant overlooking the sea.

it was a beautiful night and we sat outside on the balcony drinking fantastic white wine, listening to the sea, flirting shamelessly and once again being disgustingly romantic.

i dare say we put the ppl in the surrounding tables off their dinner. it was fantastic.

quoting

[in her shoes: diaz and colette are having a talk abt the colette's ever growing collection of shoes she never wears...]

- 'if you're not going to wear them, you've got to stop buying them!'

- 'it's just... i like to treat myself. and... clothes never looked good. food just makes me fatter. shoes always fit.'

heh, i know exactly what she means.

i've said it before and i'll say it again: shoes are the re-usable prozac of single life.

more stories from the office (piss-up)

this is yet another case of my (ex) boss cracking me up. we had a work piss-up. this time at slip-inn.

i had to leave early cause i had promised to meet a mate of mine for a coffee. of course my work mates gave me shit for leaving early and i told my boss that i had a coffee date with a pretty chicky and could not stay.

well, when the time for me to leave came, i said bye to everyone. as i was half way out of the door, she shouts out loud:

'H A V E   F U N   M U F F   D I V I N G ! ! ! '

the whole rest of the table went 'HUH?' as i giggled my arse out of the door. man, is this going to be a fun one to explain at the office.

and sorry bunnies to disappoint you, but no, there was no muff diving involved. i bet ppl at the office will be disappointed too.

awesome long weekend

maybe the best way to fight aversion to third dates is to actually drag your arse to one? i did. and it cured my second date angst in this particular case. entirely.


i met the frenchman again on saturday morning.
he drove me to a nearby beach where we enjoyed our morning coffee in the sun followed by a relaxing walk along the beach.

it was an incredibly beautiful day. sun was shining, there was a perfect fresh ocean breeze and i have to say that the company was great. it was all so disgustingly romantic and wonderful that if i would have wittnessed it from aside, i would have prolly felt sick. luveded it.

oh. and i sprained my ankle. heh. as soon as i stepped down from my heels and went barefoot i went and fucked my left ankle up.


this is not art | electrofringe at newcastle
i was so well entertained and distracted that i ended up missing my train. well, three of them to be honest. when i finally got my drunken grinning arse on the train, i headed to newcastle.

sat night was a non-stop arty piss-up with my badly behaving uni mates. heh. i got full respect (as well as the pointing and laughing) from my mates: 'man, that's dedication! a sprained swollen ankle and she's still on fucken high heels!'

but i have to tell you bunnies, i just don't get it. what the fuck is it with the stinky hippies? i mean, i personally don't think that the use of deodorant is taking anything away from my art.

why does wanna-be-arty nature have to mean that you need to be bloody feral? abt half way through saturday night i started to get this overwhelming need to educate ppl around me abt the wonders of personal hygiene. 'YES! it is a good idea to wash your hair. YES! deodorant is a wonderful thing! NO! showers and baths are NOT overrated.'

and the clothes? oh i don't even want to go there. let's just say that i was sticking out like a sore thumb in my girly skirt, high heels and styled hair. and my non-hairy armpits.


'feature artists'
then on sunday morning we lectured our workshop as feature artists. we were told that we gathered the biggest crowd among the week full of workshops. the place was packed and ppl seemed genuinely interested. they asked heaps of questions and no one walked out half way through. awesome.

as soon as we were done, we walked into the nicest bar we could find by the water and celebrated with big frozen mango daquiris. mmm... mango.


romantic australia day date
last night i was treated to yet another romantic date accompanied by the notorious frenchman. we ended up sitting at russel crowe's backyard, at the end of the pier drinking chardy straight out of the bottle, talking for hrs. overly and disgustingly drunken romantic.

update on Milking The Cow

Milking The Cow 2005 - single screen printed and scanned frame for the video

i finished screen printing the first third of frames for my Milking The Cow video. so it's all happening. right now i'm doing my best *cough* to get my essay abstract and annotated bibliography done before i head up to newcastle tomorrow.

-

life other than uni? well. once again, i am intriqued. this time it's something very refreshing and quite different from my previous adventures. i might elaborate on that more later on. but for now, let's just keep it at that.

stories from the office

see, there's this wonderful guy that i work with. he's the most flaming gay i know but at the same time he's the most concervative person i have ever met. a delicious combination i can tell you. he's like a one man's travelling entertainment show.

well. today, he was telling a story abt a recent date of his that didn't quite go all rosy. apparently his unfortunate date was not that well equipped...

"you see darling, it was when he dropped those pants that i just knew it was not going to work. you know how it is, three inches just doesn't do the trick. well, i didn't want to be mean, but i had to say something. so i said: sweetheart. i'm fat. look at my arse. you're going to need more than that to get past the grand canyon..."

i nearly fell off my chair. funny as fuck this guy. funny as fuck. now i'm going to think of him every time i hear the grand canyon mentioned. heh.

insane times ahead - 1 down 9 to go

grah. had a very long and labour heavy day at uni. and it's not going to get any easier before wednesday next week. in-fucken-sane.

printing of the 'milking the cow' frames is well on it's way. thank fucken gawd. i've finished printing c channel, did 1/3 of the m channel already and should do the rest of the second colour tomorrow. that leaves y channel for next week. that's all sweet as fuck. not really stressing over that.

we set up a small group exhibition with pg and muscles at the yz gallery today. man, i love seeing my babies on the wall where other ppl can finally see them too. that's all sweet and under control too. no stress there.

busy days at work ahead. but that's still no need to stress. they just eat the hrs out of the week. no other reason to worry.

however.

there are two fucken major clowds above my head and they are only getting thicker by the day. i'm just waiting for them to evolve into a bloody hurricane. in short: painful essay and a scary workshop as a 'feature artist'. fuck that. actually, fuck both.

help.

The Second Date Angst [tm]

ready bunnies? cause here it comes again. ranting on mindlessly abt something useless.

(and yes, this is procrastination at it's purest form.)

this is a brand new condition/syndrome that i have discovered in myself due to the fact that i have actually started dating. now i know why i haven't done it before: it just doesn't work. the problem is The Second Date Angst[tm] (TSDA).

you know how it is, when you meet an intriquing new person who tickles your fancy and makes you laugh. they demand to take you out for a date.

first date - it's all good
be it picnic in the park, dinner out or just the usual few drinkies in a nice venue, the first date is usually great. they are funny, flirty, interesting and there is that tickling tension between every single line said. they are ballsy, cocky and arrogant. at this stage they are on top of the game. they are the alpha male and you are the lil piece of meat that they have decided to have for dinner. they provide you with a challenge. its all good.

after the first date you hopefully get swept off your feet by a mindblowing first kiss. after which you wobble home on tipsy high heels grinning like an idiot thinking: 'wow. what a catch!'

after the first date they continue courting you, showering you with compliments and ask you out again. typically you meet the guy again a week later.

second date - anxiety kicks in
it's time for the second date and the tables have turned. the cocky arrogant fuckwit is offering his balls on a silver platter. the edgy humour is suddenly toned down, cause they don't want to offend you. they have decided that they want you and they don't want to risk the catch. suddenly there is no challenge. suddenly it all turns boring. suddenly, it's time to go home.

especially if they do the fucken 'you are so beautiful that you prolly have dozens of men like me just queuing behind your door. why would you want someone like me...' fuck that. i mean, wtf is it with that line? do guys really think it's a good idea? i mean, they must realise that instead of making the chick go 'aaawwww, isn't that sweet. no of course not hunny, there's no one else in the world i want but you!' the result is more along the lines of 'hang on... you DO have a point there...'

even if everything else goes great, the spark is flushed down the toilet of the dating world for good. i mean, i know i am going to get the balls in the end, why can't the guy at least pretend that he'll provide a worthy challenge? if i wanted a lapdog, i'd buy one from the pet store.

truth in nationality stereotypes?
maybe there is a seed of truth in the nationality stereotypes. i guess i really am a scandinavian ice princess and when put in the same room with a hot blooded male i go aloof. but instead of having the balls to slowly melt me bit by bit with steady warmth, they go and crank up the heat and there i go bolting again.

you know, it's like that frog in the boiling water thingy. you need to be sneaky.

stirring some shit

went to get my hair cut today. the hairdresser chick was fucken useless.

[abt half way through the cut at this point]

she: 'ummm... i think the other side of your hair is a bit longer than the other. i need to cut more from this side to make it even...'

me: 'yes. there is a barely noticeable TEN-FRIGGEN-CM difference! (what are you, fucken blind?)'

she: 'ummm... really?'

me: 'that's the whole (friggen) idea of the cut (you dumbarse). i think it's time to put those scissors down (before you find them sticking out of the side of your friggen throat!)'

i was gladly able to swallow the bits in brackets. wasn't easy. i told her to fuck off, came home and cut my own hair using a razor. now it's cool as fuck. very asymmetrical, very messy and very, VERY rok.

--

heh. tell you another funny story. i have done such a good job stirring shit up lately.

[sitting in the bar with a bunch of my best uni mates including pg, muscles and the mexican. we're few drinkies in and everyone's feelin nicely loud and offensive already. after hearing that muscles can't accompany me to the mca opening that same night, i start typing a sms with a grin on my face.]

pg: 'heh. the frenchman?'

me: 'oh, nono. mr. pinstripe'

pg: [cracks up] ' hah! nice work juggling all of them!'

me: 'oh you know me... i have a reputation to keep up!'

[i continue sending the sms and a lil later muscles and the mexican get up to catch a class]

me: 'see dear, you're such a sucky date! you're never there when i need you!'

muscles: 'yeh well, you know me, i'm a busy man'

[the mexican comes over to kiss my cheeks goodbye]

muscles: 'sweety, i'd kiss you too but you know... better not... *wink*'

[the mexican and muscles walk off as i turn back to the table still giggling as i notice the nin boy sitting in the next table staring at me with a devastated look on his face. i naturally choke on my wine while i crack up uncontrollably]

me: 'well... SO LONG!' [i flash a grin, wave and bolt while laughing my arse off]

what makes this convo so very tragic is that the nin boy would have been very keen on hooking up after the second date. whereas i went through the notorious '2nd date freakout/turnoff' (i'll blog abt this shit later on).

i told him that i was not comfy with the idea of dating someone from the school, cause you know... 'you just don't screw the crew'[full stop]. muscles of course is not only from the same school but from my friggen class.

of course the nin boy would have misunderstood our lil bubbly and flirty humour entirely and prolly thinks of me as a real ghengis khunt now. fantastic.

heh. i dun think i'll have any more trouble with him.

mess

i'm sorry abt the radio silence bunnies.

i haven't felt comfortable blogging lately. some ppl still too closely involved seem to read my blog occasionally. yes, you three legged battleslug, in case you're reading this, it definitely means you. not entirely comfortable with that idea.

as i said before, you should never ask questions you don't want to hear the answers to.

--

i've met someone. someone who treats me like a princess, showers me with compliments and makes me feel like a goddess. which is lovely.

that's all it is at the moment. it might turn into something. let's see. a bit too cynical to expect anything earth shattering but you know me. i always am.

everything is good as long as i don't hear the little door behind me close. cause as soon as it does, there i go bolting again.

--

at the moment however, i should be concentrating on my essay abstract which is due only too soon. this uni/work thing is starting to get pretty bloody hectic.

freak

heh. funny shit. i published a work of mine online yesterday. someone emailed me abt it. here's a quick translation of the email:

"your latest exhibition doesn't live up to the beauty and moral standards of a national socialist nation. i would recommend you to question your current western pro-individual materialistic values and look into a cause that i myself follow to provide your life with a meaning."

teeheehee. sure buddy. you're a cracker. and a nut. or maybe - maybe just a nut.

my beach

i was talking abt beaches with a friend of mine. he had his own. which was very perty. but nothing can compare to mine. my own lil paradise on earth.

i had forgotten all abt it. it seems like it was ages ago, even though it's been only four years. sailing in the caribbean. now there's one thing that i want to do again one day. i do miss my paradise. and the pina coladas.

running in martini stilettos

i got absolutely off my fucken tits on uber-wanky cocktails last night. i was taken for a fancy lounge crawl around the area. it was fantastic. and good for a 'spot the fake tits' contest too. great fun. plenty of pointing and laughing i tell you.

quite the gentleman this frenchman. me being the typical scandinavian independent bitch made him sigh 'sweetheart, you cannot do that. if my mother would see, she would cry!' abt a dozen times last night. heh. good value entertainment-wise. quite fucked up and insane as well. which is always a bonus.

oh, and i have a new fav drink: 'stiletto martini'. incredible. liquid sex.

--

and such a good lil girl i am. instead of sleeping in and suffering a hangover, i got up early, went for a run and now i feel like i could conquer the world.

or well... at least cook lunch. yes. let's go with that.

here i go again

...this boredom shit shall be the end of me.

dating is fun. even tho i really shouldn't be getting myself into more trouble at this point. i'm fucked up enough as it is. heh. oh well, like that's going to stop me.

half-french arty-farty white wine lover. so far so good. i'll tell the awful truth when i get back.

note to self: i have got to stop doing this.

--update:

wow. no awful truth to report. no horror stories to tell. i had a fucken fantastic time. a fantastic first date.

never trust online dating services

hah. man, am i fucked.

online dating. you know the shit. i've done the rant a couple of times already so not going into it now. just going to say that slamming down lil online-romeo-wanna-bes is a good remedy for boredom.

well, the funny shit is that half of the ppl i know from syd seem to have their profiles on the same service. it would be so much fun mocking them for it, but you see the problem is that i'm on it too. heh. doesn't quite work.

anyway, was curious enough to check my best matches in syd. according to the bloody thing, my best match is sunshine. heh.

first he moves into my house, drinks my goon and locks me into the backyard. after i move out of the house the fuckwit shows up in the picture again, dolls up in pinstripe and now he's my best friggen match.

bloody fucken hell. so much for trusting the internet. back to sniffing hotties irl.

friday rok

sigh. there went my mid-semester break. that's the way it always goes. on monday i'm all ecstatic that i have a whole free week ahead of me. then i blink. and it's friday.

heh. yesterday i was running around the building all day at work. busy as fuck. then i finally had the chance to sit still for a sec in the arvo. as i'm checking my emails, my boss (who i share an office with) starts jumping up and down all excited.

she: "come on! it's nearly that time isn't it? it's time to drink! yay! would you like me to get white or red this time?"
me: "ummmm... woman. what are you on? it's THURSDAY."
she: "FUCK. i knew it was too good to be true."

then she was all cranky for the rest of the arvo. funny shit.

--

ooh, almost forgot: i went to see charlie and the chocolate factory this week. fucken fantastic i tell you! tim burton still has got it for sure and johnny depp is just so incredibly funny. i was pissing myself laughing from the beginning to the end. strongly recommended. go and watch it bunnies.

"everything in this room is *eat*able. even i'm *eat*able. but that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies." - willy wonka

the next must see opens tonight: wallace & gromit: the curse of the were-rabbit. it is going to be sooooo good.

robbed in bright daylight

fuck.

i was walking back to work, after a rather nice 'business' lunch with a shit hot corporate whore covered in pinstripe [insert here lots of droolage], i got assaulted. in the middle of the day, along the busiest plaza in sydney and no one did a thing to help me. no one.

he spotted me from afar. approached me with a smile and stopped me even tho i tried to hurry past without talking to him. the eyes.

he started with the usual chit chat and as he got to the money bit i tried to do the usual comeback: "listen sweetheart, i'm one half soulless corp whore and the other half penniless art student. neither one will help you..." but he had the smile. and the charm. and i was fucked.

along with the joy of watching my bank account get robbed every month, i got a rubber bracelet for it. 'make poverty history' it says. does that mean exterminating the poor ppl?

heh. it did make me feel a lil bit better when i heard that the same 'boy with the pretty eyes' had scored half of the office.

note to self: fuck me i'm stupid.

--

it’ll get worse before | it’ll get better | but it will get better | you’ve got to look on the | bright side | the same rules apply for me and you | as for anyone ever going through | there’s no forsaking | this heart’s for breaking | all there for the taking | it’s love in the making | noon according to the sundial | time has cast a shadow | i’ve yet to discover | what’s making me tick || roisin murphy - love in the making

it's a new day

it's a beautiful morning and the coffee tastes sweeter than yesterday morning. quite excited really. i'm grinning and no doubt looking like an idiot.

sow into | into you | i’ll bring you | into this earth | has sorely missed the kiss of rain | and i think it’s here to stay | sow into | though i’m bound to get carried away | i’ll bring you | but i think it’s | here to stay | though i’m bound to get carried away || roisin murphy - sow into you

ooh acknowledged

heh. quite funny really.

"just wanted to (let) you to know that we have acknowledged your headline writing creativity in making our "best of" list for this topic."

independent sources >> blog archives >> best headlines for email cat spat

i heart sydney

ok bunnies, i can't help it. even tho i'm fully aware of the fact that i'm prolly repeating myself to the point of boredom, i have to say it: this city is just the most amazing place on this planet(*).

i just can't get enough of it. there's something truly magical about sydney.

i did a jog along the waterline around the botanical gardens all the way to the opera house and back. amazingly beautiful day, the park filled with happy people enjoying a perfect lazy sunday. and there i was, gasping my breath and waiting for my pulse to calm down enough to be able to head back, while admiring one of the biggest landmarks in the world.

i jogged all the way back smiling and enjoying the endorphin high mixing with the euphoria of the present moment. once again, i am happy.

(* naturally limited within the places that i have actually experienced so far)