to do a 'patsy stone'

alrighty bunnies, let's get back to the very dear subject of drinking, shall we?

as we all know, there are different states of being drunk. here's a quick basic scale from 1 to 10. 1 being adorable and 10 being... erm... well, not *quite* so adorable.

1. tipsy
2. giggly
3. flirty
   
4. drunk
5. horny
6. trashed
7. shitfaced
8. off one's tits
9. slaughtered
10. patsy stone

how do you you know that you've done a patsy stone?


cause:

• way too much stolichnaya (actually, any available alcohol will do)
• no solid food consumed for the past decade or more

symptoms:

• drinking straight out of the bottle in a very lady-like manner
• responding to any attempts of removing the bottle with vicious growling and hissing
  
• repeated attempts to chase anything on two legs
• impressive acts of drunken clumsiness etc falling off a couch/falling down stairs/falling out of a cab/etc
• waking up with one's make-up magically relocated on one's cheeks and with a hairdo that would scare even the most prominent spandex heavy band members
• (extra points for waking up screaming 'eddie eddie eddie EDDIE EDDIE!", picking up a wind screen washer at the traffic lights or torching someone's kitchen by passing out while smoking)
  

side effects:

• often followed by a 'edina monsoon syndrome' - a pathetic recovery attempt filled with mantras like 'it's all health health health darling!'

and why am i ranting on abt doing a patsy stone? well. i did. on saturday. a full on 10/10 patsy-fucken-stone.

i might do a retrospective entry on this once the dust settles... but not quite yet bunnies. not quite yet.

let's just say that it involved way too much white wine, nearly getting snogged by frenchman's mate's girlfriend in a bathroom (quite the hottie btw!), dramatic exit by flying down a staircase and disappearing until i was found a few hrs later, on the other side of the city, giggling my arse off sitting on frenchman's stairs with bruised knees from the friggen staircase.

classy, eh?