early memories

i wonder how much our first memories affect the person we are today?

my earliest memory is somewhat disturbing. i guess i remember it because it was one of the first daily routines i was exposed to.

i am tiny, maybe 2-3 yo, still more than half asleep, wrapped up in a doona and being carried to the backseat of the lil datsun 100a that my parents drove at the time. i was about to be dropped off to my grandparent's house when my parents went to work.

i remember lying there, on the backseat, while it was still pitch black outside and waiting for the beautiful smell of the lit match followed by the choking cigarette smoke reaching the back seat.

the second memory is sweeter and in fact the only memory i have of my great grandma. there was always chocolate on the top shelf of my great grandma's tall kitchen cupboard and i remember how she would always get up and head to the cupboard as soon as she saw us coming in.

because i was so young, i never really got to know my great grandma. but i have a feeling she might have had a major impact on my life even tho she passed away by the time i was about 4 yo.

see, ever since i can remember, my grandma has always been telling me that 'its people who do it'.

whenever something seemed too difficult or out of reach, she'd just laugh it off saying 'its people who do it, so why not you?' she made me think that nothing in this life is impossible and if someone can do it, then surely i can do the same, if not even better. after all, they're only people - people just like me.

according to her, this life philosophy was passed straight down from my great grandma.

the reason i'm ranting on about my earliest memories, is that i just realised that my great grandma's motto might be one of the most important things i've ever learned in my life. and i never even got to thank her.