Sunday, September 12, 2004

this shit cracked me up!

helsingin sanomat - international edition - consumer: "the spanish often label is selling a helsinki university shirt. the french sportswear brand le coq sportif released a line of sneakers under the helsinki name to go with the iaaf world championships, and the swiss watch manufacturer swatch is presenting a wrist-watch model that is inspired by the scandinavian countries and which features a blue-and-white reindeer."
"on the new website of the italian diesel, the garments have been given finnish names aplenty."
"diesel is offering its customers the kossu(!) sweater, a t-shirt named vissy, and a knitwear item called eukko. the assortment also includes gear bearing names like tuoppi, vaara, perkele (!!), kuokka, and a pair of trousers that rejoices in the name of lahti. so it is the business city, after all."
"lapland fans will be glad to know that lahti doesn’t get it all its own way, however: there is also an ivalo t-shirt, and residents of the old savo province can rush out and buy kuopio jeans and even savo pants."
"the mistakes in the finnish texts are quite deliberate.
and the more äs and ös in the words the better."
"underneath the neck label in the suomi shirts there is even a little thank-you for the buyer. it reads: "bless you for buying this so that you paid ulla her salary and allowed me to go surfing!"
"so let’s trade in the language instead. funny-looking words. plenty of weird letters with dots over them. wacky, hard-to-pronounce place-names.
the only shame is that it looks as if the damned foreigners have got there before us."
[the previous text is quoted from the helsingin sanomat article linked to in the title of the post]
and for you non-finns out there:
  • helsinki = capital of finland
  • kossu = finnish cheapo vodka brand
  • vissy = sparkling mineral water and the other half of a very popular finnish drink "kossuvissy"
  • eukko = a demeaning word for a woman/wife
  • tuoppi = pint (of beer)
  • vaara = danger
  • perkele = a finnish swear word (lit. refers to a pagan forest demon)
  • kuokka = a heavy weight hoe
  • lahti = city in finland
  • ivalo = puny town in lapland
  • kuopio = city in east finland
  • savo = a province in finland
  • suomi = finland in finnish
  • ulla = finnish female name

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