south coast nsw rok!

citronella and deviant scheming for fishing mission

we went on a lil weekend getaway with deviant's family last w/e. was great. country-side nsw is just so incredibly beautiful. and while touristy beaches shit me to no end, i love empty secluded ones.

the boys fished and i went snap-happy.

irl bunnies: if you want to see photos of the w/e, email me and i'll send you the address to the album.

gapingvoid

miss s introduced me to a new comic artist. he draws these brilliant masterpieces on the back of business cards. i was so impressed that i added his widget to the left column...

anyhoo, this is good shit. give it a go bunnies: gapingvoid

“I have this mate of mine that you’d really like!” she suddenly shoots over a piña colada big enough to make any drag queen’s hands seem tiny. As I respond by giggling obviously drunk enough to be entertained by any bad idea available, she continues: ”You know, a real man: tall, dark and handsome. Hung like a donkey and goes on for hours!” And without waiting for my approval, she starts typing away the text message.

Stumbling into a yet another bar along our path, we dash straight into the ladies room. As soon as we slam the door open, we face a young woman with her top hoisted all the way up to her armpits. “They’re fake.” She states as soon as she sees us. Naturally we engage ourselves into a long conversation about the perky little B-cups, squeezing and poking as we go. We exit the bathroom laughing at the idea that maybe the male stereotypical fantasies about ladies rooms and girls’ locker rooms aren’t that far fetched after all.

The text message confirming the boy’s arrival beeps on my friend’s mobile. Hugging my glass of white wine I prepare myself for a major disappointment as we make it back to our table. Squinting my eyes to clear the drunken blurry vision I try to catch my let down of the night arriving. Instead, I see this mind-bogglingly gorgeous six-foot-five hunk walk up and greet us in a beautiful deep voice filtered through his borderline shy boy-next-door grin. Nearly choking on my wine I try to hide the pleasant surprise as well as the degree to which I was marinated in cheap white wine.

”You said you had a roof-top pool?” he suggests with a devious wink and I swallow the lure gleefully. Surely it was a short enough trip for an after party at my place, to make it with the three of us in a two seater ute? Fetching yet another bottle of white along with a six pack of Becks from the nearby bottle-o, I giggle my way into the front seat of his car and pull my friend on my lap.

I regain my consciousness slowly and recognise the disturbance to my sleep as an unfamiliar ringing tone. Before I open my eyes I feel an arm reaching over me for the ringing phone on the floor next to my bed. As I squint for a sneak peak through half closed eyelids I see my friend still asleep on the other side of the gorgeous hunk. She is as beautiful as he is handsome.

He answers the phone and after glancing around him with a wide grin he replies to the voice on the other end: “Mate, I am SO comfortable in this bed right now that there is nothing in the world that could make me get up…” The sound of the phone falling on the floor followed by a soft pleased growl transfers the grin on my face as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer. I drift back to sleep thinking: "A real man alright..."

closure?

i don't know how long you've been reading my rants bunnies, but there was something in the past that was draggin along for quite a while. in this case i'm referring to mr. pinstripe.

it was abt two years ago. we went on a few dates and it was fantastic, but it never really took off. instead it was just dragging along for a year after which i got the shits and called it off. even though we remained friends afterwards, there hasn't been any contact for more than half a year.

since there was never really a beginning, there was never really a proper end either. it was a difficult one to put behind me since i always felt that there was no closure.

well, just recently i was walking home from work and even though he hadn't visited my mind recently, walking past his old work place reminded me of him. and suddenly i realised that it was up to me to bring in the closure i had missed for so long after him. that i didn't need his input for it. and just as soon as i realised it, i found myself reaching for my phone and deleting his number. a small gesture but i guess symbolically quite significant.

deviant deserves a clean table. it is up to me to drop my baggage so that i can give the best of me to him.

speaking of which... it has been exactly 5 months since we met. scary hey?

perrrrrrkele!*

a typical finnish man enjoying a relaxing afternoon in the sauna...


* perkele = one of the most common swearwords in finnish language - wikipedia

more on the finnish art of swearing >> swearsaurus

good times

busy lil bee i tell you. i've been devoting all my time and energy to supporting deviant's quit smoking project. yes, i know: such a good lil girl i am.

mind you bunnies, i have to admit that i have loved every second of it.

i am not quite sure what happened, but something has changed. ever since deviant came back from his latest fishing trip, everything has been just that little bit different. he has always been very good to me, but this last couple of weeks have been just amazing. he has been more affectionate, more thoughtful, and just that little bit more present than he has been before. never before in my life have i been treated this well.

you know those little gestures that make your insides turn all gooey and bring that friggen annoying grin on your face that is just impossible to wipe off? the ones no one else would even notice? yeh. there has been those: the unexpected hug while shopping, the innocent touch on your neck while passing by, the un-asked-for foot massage while watching a movie. the little things that make life so achingly enjoyable that all you can do is wonder what on earth you have done to deserve it.

on daily basis i have been pampered as if i was a princess and he has truly proved out to be the perfect prince charming that i never even believed in. who would've thunk it?

i don't think i have ever been this happy.

health health health darling...

how about that weekend bunnies? started on fucken wednesday!

wed: celebrational piss-up with deviant and had a fantastic time.

thu: i chilled out while he halved a case with manny(*).

fri: deviant calls me up around 3pm. and they're already down a case with manny. apparently they had been waiting for the bottle-o to open at 9am so that they could buy more beer. fucken certified piss-heads i tell you. i took a cab over and skulled a bottle of white to catch up. needless to say it all got messy. great times tho.

but the big one was saturday.

i had this cool as fuck work related piss-up to attend and i invited deviant along with manny. we honestly drank the place dry and the light motorcycle most definitely left the hands. (fuck i love those gibberish finnish sayings literally translated).

never in my life have i drank that much vodka.

or had such a friggen surreal night. at the end of it all i could do was to point and laugh. prolly cause i thought i was already sleeping buy that stage. it was just too fucken funny and absurd to be real. too x-rated to share right now, but let's see once the dust settles.

i was able to confiscate most of the visual evidence afterwards, but i can tell you bunnies, it was not perty.

[ note to self: i have got to stop doing this. ]

since last week was such a bender, deviant decided that this was his cue for cleaning up his act and dropped caffeine, alcohol and cigarettes off his daily menu. two days have passed and he's doing great. not cranky at all and i have to say that i'm quite enjoying him re-directing his attention to more productive addictions.

luvin it. devian rok. big time.

(* 'manny' = Dedicated Man Friend[tm] - in deviant's case: jesus the carpenter)

'...and australia's still like double-u-tee-ef..'

poor wittle me...

as few irl finn bunnies have already been asking: there is no shoes on tour this june-july.

usually i have been going back home for a month from mid-june to mid-july. but this year will have to be an exception.

as i am doing my honours year at the moment, i need to hand in my thesis (well, exegesis really, but no one seems to know what that is so it's easier to use a word everyone knows) in october and i can tell you bunnies, it's missing a good 10 000 words or so at the moment. not even mentioning the 2/3 videos that are still missing from my grad show work. so yeh, i'll be a very busy lil chicky for the rest of the year.

so darling irl finn bunnies, when are you coming down under to visit me? there is a place to stay as long as you bring salmiakki ( with and without vodka, pls) and cloudberry liqueur...

donedonedone - ALL DONE!

schooooooools out for summah! well, uni and winter really, but you get the picture.

i had a fantastic night out celebrating with deviant. we started with uber yummy wanky cocktails at lotus (potts point), continued with a quick glance at the sydney biennale (art gallery of nsw) and then a grand finale piss-up at the tilbury (woolloomooloo). top spots i tell you.

it ended up being the perfect kind of night out: nice drinks, good talks and great times.

you know the way you start getting bored of people after spending too much time with them? i always get that. yet, with this gorgeous piece of man meat, it's the opposite. the more time i spent with him, the more i enjoy it. it just keeps getting better and better every time i see him.

life's pretty fucken sweet.

posting spam (again)

once upon a time,


a guy asked a girl: "will you marry me?"


the girl said, "NO!"

and the girl lived happily ever after, and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, travelled more, had many boyfriends, saved more money, had all the hot water to herself, never had pubic hairs under the toilet seat lid, watched girlie movies, never had football on, never wore fricken lacey lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked good in sweat pants and shirt, and burped, swore, & farted all the time.

THE END

--update

after quite a few bunnies have been asking about this, i feel the need to point out that this was a 'posting spam' entry. in other words i posted up an email going around the office that i for some reason (prolly doe to the lack of caffeine) found amusing.

so this is not my text and most definitely not out of my life. deviant is still borderline sane and very much in the picture.

rok on - a quick update

busy times bunnies, busy times.

i have been juggling my time between work, uni and deviant and there hasn't been a minute left over lately.

--

never underestimate the power of sms filth!

deviant went on a fishing trip last week and he was supposed to get back on sunday night. heh. after sending a rather explicit sms on thursday, i received a phone call on friday informing me that he was coming back two days early.

my kinda man i tell you!

--

oh great news bunnies:

on monday night an art critic / curator from rome emailed me. she had seen my work at an online art site and now wants to screen it at a new arts festival in italy next august! fan-fucken-tastic!

will keep you updated on that.

--

a finn bunny reading my blog just emailed me a link to this viivi & wagner clip. priceless! thanks hun.

( click for a better image )

- "i'll get the candy, you go and choose a movie. pick a classic, will you?"
- "alright."
--
[classics]
- "oh looky, 'deep throat'..."
--
- "what filth is this?"
- "i found it on the classics shelf"

six down, one more to go

finally got my essay done and submitted last night. quite the relief to be honest. this one had been stressing me more than the average assignment. not sure why. mebbe the lack of inspiration.

to celebrate i went and bought the most screaming bright red lipstick i have ever seen. the shade was called 'wild flame' but i think i'll rename it as 'tomato gone feral'. absolutely fabulous i tell you.

i bet it goes well with a bottle of stolichnaya.

fly my pretties, fly!

my new video is published on my website!

irl bunnies: email me if you are having problems finding my site.

funny mood

hmmm... i'm in a bit funny mood. blame it on the friggen hormones i guess.

i've been sitting indoors in front of my computer for three solid days now. one and a half more to come i suppose. bloody uni work. had to escape a few times and watch a movie.

mmm... escape. that just gave me a flashback. i went shopping with deviant last weekend. we passed through the perfume department at myer and i got him drenched in ck escape. man, that must be the sweetest male smell on this planet. there he was, mind-bogglingly gorgeous in his new shoes, fitted hot army green jumper, dark brown biker leather jacket and smelling like escape. i could have followed him to the end of the world.

oh, sorry abt that bunnies, got a bit carried away there. what was i ranting on abt? oh yeh, funny mood.

see, after too many hrs spent on the essay i just started to lose it and had to step back a bit. so i've also watched a few movies. in fact, just finished watching american history x. and it made me feel funny.

i don't think lonely is the right word. still i'd love to have deviant in my bed right now so that i could snuggle up in his arms and fall asleep forgetting the rest of the world. i wouldn't even need to jump him. the thing is, while going to bed with him is great, it's waking up next to him that rocks my world. and no doubt scares the shit out of me as well.

yeh. as i said, must be bloody hormonal.

researching porn ro(o)ts the brain

bunnies, don't try this at home: licorice, peppermint tea and hard core don't mix well.

urgh.

bloody academic bs. how the fuck did i end up writing about porn again? man, i've got to stop doing this to myself. this is seriously not healthy.

mind you, i did manage to do a new personal record: was able to fit 'perky round breasts', 'large erected penis' and 'cunt' in the first sentence of my essay.

yes. i am very proud of myself.

improvised broadcast media performance

wow.

i just took a cab home from newtown. on the way i was spoiled with a once in a life time radio broadcast interference that built up to what can only be described as a full on contemporary sound art performance.

it started as a news broadcast about papilloma virus, but was quickly cut in with a high pitch ringing tone that started dominating the broadcast. then the speech took over again only be broken by a rhythmic echo cutting in and out and building up to an electric interference overcoming the broadcast.

for the entire duration of the cab drive the sound kept mutating non-stop and the performance grew more and more interesting as the trip went on.

when i got to my place i was tempted just to stay in the cab to see how this play would climax, but i fear i am too poor to keep riding a cab around the city over and over again.

i wish you were there to hear it bunnies, but for now you just have to take my word on it: it was awesome.

project: fit as fuck 2006

rightio. too cold (and too fucken wet!) to run so i have to come up with a plan b:

plan b = gym = fit as fuck 2006

miss pearl is moving into the next suburb and she is just as keen to get fit. also, deviant has been talking abt getting fit once his quit smoking project takes off in a couple of weeks.

now all we need is a good gym that is not too expensive. there is one exactly halfway between me and miss pearl's new love nest (she's moving in with mr. hero in a couple of weeks time).

today's mission is to procrastinate (yehyeh, i should be writing my essay) by going and testing out this new gym. so far it seems very good and it's not overly expensive.

--update:

was pretty good actually.

very clean. nearly empty. all ppl present were drop dead gorgeous muscly as fuck gay men, so i could perv my lil heart out without getting hassled at all.fantastic.

the only minus would be the fact that it's quite clearly a male oriented gym: the equipment doesn't scale too well for a tiny person like me and the weights are adjustable in steps of 10kg instead of the usual 5kg.

weekend retrospective

thank gawd there is only one weekend to a week. i don't think i could handle them more often.

had a great one tho. deviant's mum flew over from nz for a week and his lil bro (let's call him citronella, shall we?) drove up from canberra.

friday was just a quiet one. deviant cooked a fantastic dinner and we spent the entire night just catching up with his mum as well as watching telly with the flatties.

saturday night was a big one. i saw the dudesons on local telly(!) and suddenly felt this overwhelming craving for vodka. so instead of the usual bottle of wine, i got a big bottle of finlandia with a 6pack of red bulls. oh the nostalgy.

it all got pretty messy and i think the climax of the night was jesus and citronella getting kicked out of every pub from coogee to oxford st. citronella gotten abandoned in some gay bar with no money on him and some guy feeling sorry for him and giving him $50 to get a cab home. funny as fuck.

on sunday morning, deviant cooked a feast of a brekky while i fetched coffees from the nearby cafe. accidentally served his mum with the experience of her first take-away coffee out of a styrofoam cup. she seemed quite impressed (and rated the coffee way over the one we got at a cafe by the clovelly beach later on). then we did the bronte to coogee walk along the beach and took some cool as fuck photos at the clovelly graveyard.

later on we fixed poor lil citronella who was more than a little under the weather. rough night i tell you. to finish off a good night we did a dinner in this beautiful lil italian restaurant.

deviant's car has only two seats so on our way back to his place, he and his mum took the seats and i sat in the little space between the seats with my legs on the middle console. quite funny.

sometimes it's a good thing to be a tiny lil pocket venus.

odd times

i've been feeling slightly volatile lately. not entirely sure what i should do about it. trying to calm myself down atm, but at the same time i am aware of the fact that it requires someone else's input for me to be able to pull it off... let's see.

at the same time i've been very happy. spoiled rotten and rooted brainless. so i guess i can't really complain?

anyhoo bunnies, get your hands on garden state ost and crank out frou frou - let go