Saturday, January 12, 2008

Cocktails and conversations

Feeling a little bit under the weather today if I'm totally honest. We went out for 'a couple of civilised drinks' last night, and we all know what that means...

A mate of mine from Finland is in town for a month for work. Let's call him Buttman. He invited Deviant and myself out for a couple of catch up drinkies after work, so off we went.

Buttman is a character and a half even sober, not mentioning after a few drinks, so I thought I better let Deviant know what to expect. I told him to be prepared to meet a super-intelligent nerdy ninja with a super strong Finnish accent, and with whom you couldn't have a conversation exceeding 30 minutes without the subject turning to anal sex. A sweet guy as such, only totally fucked up. In other words very good value.

Naturally, he proved me right straight away.

We took Buttman to a very funky classy cocktail bar where you rarely order from the list. Instead, you have a few minutes chat with the bartender and he'll whip you up the drink of your dreams.

So there we are, in this super trendy cocktail bar, surrounded by well off beautiful people as the following conversation takes place:

Bartender: 'What do you like?'
Buttman: 'Ummmm... I like... straight... honest... raw... anal sex.'
Bartender: 'Mate, I'm a bartender, not a fucken shrink!'
So when we finally get to sit at the table with our drinks, I've got a divine pineapple mohito-ish drink in front of me, Deviant's holding a delicious orange fruity smelling concoction that strangely tasted like single malt whiskey, and Buttman was sitting there holding a martini glass full of straight vodka with a little piece of lemon swimming in it.

Needless to say the drinks were perfectly matched, and Buttman was so impressed he tipped the bartender $50.

Another priceless quote I recall hearing in the wee hours of the night was:
Buttman: 'Hey where can we go to steal a kangaroo? I may not be as fast as I used to be, but I'm still a ninja!'

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