must - stop - watching

ok. this is not healthy anymore.

see, unfortunately most of the ppl around me have been exposed to bloody lil britain lately as well. i've gotten used to everyone quoting the idiotic one-liners all the time and do the same myself. unfortunately, the reality is that not everyone has seen it. at least not all friggen three seasons of it. so i really, REALLY have to stop quoting it all the time.

heh. i rocked up at my mate's place on sat night and was buzzing myself through the downstairs door. i expected him to respond, but it was his flatmate.

[bzzzzzzzzzt-bzzt-bzzt-BZZZZZZZZZZZTTT]
- yes?
- 'hi martin, it's linda... '
- ...? [hang-up]
[after realising that my witty line did not go down too well i call my mate's mobile]
- hello hello!
- FUCKEN LET ME IN!

also, the continuous use of phrases like 'i want that one', 'yeah i know', 'i don't like it', 'i look a pillock', 'the computer says no...', 'but i'm a lady!', 'a right kerfuffle' and of course 'eh-eh-ehhhhhh!' have caused a series of odd looks and uncomfortable silences among the normal people at work.

'well, the past is gone, i know that. the future isn't here yet, whatever it's going to be. so, all there is, is this. the present. that's it.'

- don johnston, broken flowers

stove 4 - 0 tp

note to self: must buy a water boiler kettle thing-a-magic. really very soon. running out of small pots to boil water in.

[warning: following text classified as whinge and bitch]
weak fucken pieces of shit they are anyway. pots these days. i mean, a pot is meant to be heated up on the bloody stove, right? then why the fuck does a lil thing like forgetting it on full heat for a lil while... like an hour (well, a few at most, not more than that!) burn it useless?

and how many fucken pots do i need to go through before i learn? four down, one more to go.
[/whinge and bitch]

'i look a pillock.'

broadcast media bad?

ooh, blame it on the unhealthy amounts of alcohol consumed lately, but i've just had yet another revelation. wait for it... wait for it! here it comes:

i don't do broadcast media.

no telly, no radio. nonono. i just realised that the reason why is that it does not operate on my terms.

movies, tv-shows, the lot. i want the good stuff, when i want it and with no additives pls.

with telly i can't choose when to receive my entertainment and my choises are limited based on what other people like. and everyone knows that other ppl are bloody mindless waste of time and space. as a bonus, with my limited and always unconveniently timed little pieces of entertainment, i'm being force-fed ads in attempt to brainwash me even further. i don't think so.

with radio it's slightly different.

i listen to music non-stop and quite often use it to either alter my mood or reinforce the mood i am in.

where as with radio, i'm rendered into a receiver with no control over the transmission. listening to radio means giving the control over my mood to someone else. by playing tracks that i associate with memories involving certain people, time periods or situations, i can end up on a fully uncontrollable rollercoaster ride going from one end to the other and back again.

meh.

ipod and dvds, please. and yes, i'll have some chips with that too.

sandpaper kisses

i heard this amazing song yesterday and now i can't stop listening to it... it sounds like something straight off a quentin tarantino soundtrack. very bewitching and hypnotic. strongly recommended bunnies.

martina topley bird - sandpaper kisses

sandpaper kisses, papercut bliss
don't know what this is, but it all leads to this:

you're gonna leave her
you have deceived her
just a girl

ooh just a girl with featherweight curls
to expose all she knows you play like tease
just a girl with featherweight curls
to expose all she knows you play like tease

you're gonna leave her
you have deceived her
just a girl

i want the soul of something simple to
take home with me
the world as someplace simple it's my
home you see

you're gonna leave her
you have deceived her
just a girl, a blood red pearl

good times

tell you something funny bunnies...

i was supposed to catch up with the frenchman last night over season 3 of little britain. well, he seemed to be taking bloody ages at work and just as i was abt to get fed up with waiting, sunshine called me up and invited me out for a few drinkies. and of course, there i went.

we had a fantastic time doing the usual d&m's avec pointing and laughing over way too many drinkies and at some stage we found ourselves travelling towards the cross for some lil britain and more alcohol.

as we're walking towards my place, of course we run into the frenchman who's just making his own way home from the bar. heh. it would have been awkward if it wouldn't have been so damn funny. we stopped to exchange a few words and the boys shook hands while i pointed and laughed. heh.

the following morning i get a phone call from the frenchman inviting me out for brekky which i had to turn down. a few hrs later we end up going for a nice lil cafe brekky with sunshine. and sure as fucken hell the frenchman is sitting a few tables away with his friends, grinning and poking his tongue out at me. once again i crack up inhaling my coffee.

again, we stop over for a lil polite chat and the boys shake hands. i set up a date with the frenchman for tonight to watch the lil britain and then go and see sunshine off before walking home laughing my arse off.

sometime's life's just too fucken funny to take seriously.

i've had the bestest of times lately and there's been entertainment aplenty. what more can you ask for really?

posting spam again

i found some of these mildly amusing. blame it on the lack of caffeine, but i'm posting them for you bunnies too...

--

DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

• 40-ish = 49.
• adventurous = slept with everyone.
• athletic = no breasts
• average looking = moooo.
• beautiful = pathological liar.
• emotionally secure = on medication.
• feminist = fat
• free spirit = junkie
• friendship first = former slut.
• new-age = body hair in the wrong places.
• old-fashioned = no bjs.
• open-minded = desperate
• outgoing = loud and embarrassing.
• professional = bitch
• voluptuous = very fat
• hugh frame = hugely fat
• wants soul mate = stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

• yes = no
• no = yes
• maybe = no
• we need = i want
• i am sorry - you'll be sorry
• we need to talk = you're in trouble
• sure, go ahead = you better not
• do what you want = you will pay for this later
• i am not upset = of course, i am upset, you moron!
• you're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

• i am hungry = i am hungry
• i am sleepy = i am sleepy
• i am tired = i am tired
• nice dress = nice cleavage!
• i love you = let's have sex now
• i am bored = do you want to have sex?
• may i have this dance? = i'd like to have sex with you.
• can i call you sometime? = i'd like to have sex with you.
• do you want to go to a movie? = i'd like to have sex with you.
• can i take you out to dinner? = i'd like to have sex with you.
• i don't think those shoes go with that outfit - i'm gay

meh. australia day

day off, but since i'm paid by the hr it just meant that i need to work on friday instead. so no, not a big fan this year.

i'm not going to big day out, but i did get an invitation to a rather promising australia j party. bbq and piss all day long - the real australian way of spending the day. so i better doll up, pick up some meat and goon on my way and head to my mate's place.

--

social life has been quite entertaining lately. i've met a lot of new people as well as caught up with my old mates. heaps of drinkies and good times i tell you. the new people are quite interesting and entertaining, but nothing to write home about just yet.

--

ooh! nearly forgot: i finally updated my webcam and now my baby does good quality clear image and FINALLY has a mic in it.

so bunnies i know irl: email/msn me to swap skype usernames!

HAPPINESS, n. an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

INTIMACY, n. a relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.

MINE, adj. belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.

MISFORTUNE, n. the kind of fortune that never misses.

MORE, adj. the comparative degree of too much.

PATIENCE, n. a minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

PHILOSOPHY, n. a route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

POLITENESS, n. the most acceptable hypocrisy.

--

useful information about certain nationalities

operation disguise

to hide the embarassing tracks of last friday, i have decided to go under cover as a brunette again. artificial intelligence out of a tube never fails.

spaz

oh dear. looks like my last friday's drunken adventures were documented. unfortunately i bumped into this one on a local clubbing photos site. fuck.

i'm telling you bunnies: off my fucken tits.

--

oh wait, it gets worse. just found another one:

[photos from inthemix]

ACHIEVEMENT, n. the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

check it out bunnies: THE PRESETS

the frenchman sent me one of the tracks a couple of days ago and i have to say that this is the coolest new shit i have come across for ages. they're a new sydney-based band and i dare say they will go apeshit in the near future.

the best i can describe it is depeche mode having a punk-ish euro trash orgy with röyksopp. so unbelievably cool.

the presets - girl and the sea, are you the one? and kitty in the middle rock my lil world atm (scroll down the page to listen to some of the songs and check out the videos too)

i just can't stop listening to them. and the bad thing is that you really need to crank this shit out loud. my neighbours will prolly get me evicted within a week.

give it a go bunnies, they seriously kick arse.

friday cadenza

such a busy lil social butterfly. luvin it.

first the frenchman demands to take me out for a drink and a lil talk. yeh i know, sounded scary, but i decided to go anyway. well surprisingly i ended up having a great time with him. he was doing the whole 'oh come on, you know we should give it another go...' thing, but not in a whiny way. he was being his normal rude, funny and entertaining self and i had a good laugh.

he's alright. if nothing else, i do think we can be good mates. couldn't promise anything else at the moment. but it did remind me of the fun and entertainment he was.

after that, i ran to the city to catch up with dui and his work mates at jackson's on george.

dui and c were being the usual bundle of fun but one of his work mates was as boring as batshit. of course we ended up ditching him. while the poor guy got up to go to the dunny, we ran out. heh. i know, i know. so very rude, but it seemed like a good idea at the time... blame the piss. i know i do.

we had a few more drinkies at the orient and then continued onwards to the cross.

dui's flatmates and friends joined us at candy's and i met up with another new bloke: the half finn biker guy. he was very good fun and entertainment. i had to teach him how to pronounce 'suksi vittuun!' properly since he thought it was the most hilarious insult he had ever heard of (i had posted him the link to swearsaurus so that he could cherish his finnish roots).

we all ended up on the dance floor of candy's and danced our arses off. the music was absolutely fantastic. i had never been there before but will definitely go again.

dui does such a great job in being the 'dedicated male' and keeping the way too keen sleazy fuckwits away from my bum on the dance floor that i could for once enjoy a good dance until i was sweaty like a piggy on the bbq. can't remember the last time i had as much fun clubbing.

after my heels started to make my life a living hell, we decided to go chill out by the water, first down at rushcutter's bay and then continued onwards to my pool.

great night out bunnies, that's all i can say.

retrospective piss-up entry

oops. looks like i've been a very bad lil chicky and forgot to rant on abt all the social bs going on. heh.

i guess i've been preoccupied with the whole berlin shit happening. but yeh. let's hope everything goes well with that.

--

last weekend i ended up doing yet another *massive* piss-up with sunshine. it was supposed to be just a drink or two after work in the city before i joined my mates for the real piss-up of the night. right. naturally we hit the piss really hard with sunshine and at some stage i found myself giggling my arse off in the pool floating around with a bottle of whiskey. heh.

my mates didn't appreciate my disappearance too much. there were a bunch of angry messages on my phone in the morning, most of them starting along the lines of 'ya fucken cunt!...' heh. gotta luv em.

the funny thing was that as we went for a cafe brekky on saturday morning at potts point, we got sprung big time by the frenchman. heh. got the whole 'what the fuck were you doing having brekky with your ex on saturday?' bullshit. hilarious.

then on saturday i went on a semi-date with a new guy, let's call him spandex super hero. he was very funny and good value entertainment-wise. did the live concert at domayne, saw tony oursler at hyde park and then just quiet drinkies at some pub at the rocks.

odd habits

schizoblog and 3kympin kriisi list their weird habits. and since schizo-janne doesn't challenge me, i just have to list mine too:

1. shoes first (oh the shock!)
   when figuring out what to wear, i choose a pair of heels first and then match the rest of my outfit to them.
   
   
2. anally retentive dvds
   i'm pretty anal about my dvd collection being in alphabetical order. the rest of my apartment might at times look like it would have been hosting an orgy for the local secretary students and a high school footy team, but my dvds: straight line, alphabetical, anal.
   
   
3. morning coffee addiction
   i just can't handle a day at the office without my massive triple shot latte. it just doesn't work.
   
   
4. perty toe nails
   must-have-a-pedicure. my toe nails have to be the right length, right shape and perty colour [full stop]. and i can't cut toe nails, they have to be filed down to the right length and shape. i think this one can be traced back to the shoes too...
   
   
5. skin addiction
   i can't help it. i love skin. whenever i have the luxury to sleep next to someone i like, i can't stop running my fingers up and down their skin. preferably up and down a beautifully muscly back. yummy. the good thing is that this seems to be addictive to the receiver too, since after a while they start demanding 'tickles' if for some reason i don't start it automatically. heh.
   

well, why the hell not?

i just read this idea on another blog and it sounded just stupid enough to try: lust, sex and sodomy published his msn address so that ppl can abuse him online. as i am known for taking up idiotic ideas to relieve boredom, i thought i'd give this one a go too.

so here goes: lifebetweentheshoeboxes [at] gmail [dot] com finds me on msn.

be a good bunny, add me and let's whip up a borderline interesting convo.

spotted again

yay! yet another mention on the web. this time my work got picked up by a sydney based art/design site.

holy-fucken-shit

we're living exciting times bunnies.

a few days ago i was delightfully surprised [insert here a visual of a deer in the headlights of an approaching truck] to see milking the cow picked up by an excellent 'bad art' blog that i read daily myself. i do believe i coughed my morning coffee all over the keyboard when i saw my own name pop up. heh.

well since then (xcept for focusing incidents which appeared right after the grad show) my baby has popped up on a few other art related blogs. for some reason the dutch seem to appreciate it a lot. must be all that cock.

well this morning i received an email from friggen berlin that they want to screen milking the cow as a part of a 10 day venue for video art and experimental shorts, happening at the same time as the berlin international film festival. holy-fucken-shit.

pretty cool, huh?

friday's lord henry quote

'romance lives by repetition, and repetition converts an appetite into an art. besides, each time that one loves is the only time one has ever loved. difference of object does not alter singleness of passion. it merely intensifies it. we can have in live but one great experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as possible.'

al·so-ran

1. a horse that does not win, place, or show in a race.
   
   
2. a loser in a competition, as in an election: “had enough support to place him in the middle of the also-rans” (george f. will).
   
   
3. one that has little talent or success: just an also-ran in the art world.

(dictionary.com: alsoran)

i learned this one from miss pearl yesterday and i think it's my new favourite word. it's just bloody brilliant.

'evolution of the muff'

i - need - this - shirt.

weekend confession

heh. it's been a busy weekend.

on saturday i went out to newtown and had a *MASSIVE* night out with sunshine. and massive in this case is no exaggeration. we started out with the traditional tequila shots and it was down hill from that. heh.

sunshine was a bit cranky and shit at first, but he warmed up to his lovely self after the first tequila shot. which was good. we did a white wine soaked dindin at a japanese restaurant, continued by cocktails at kuletos, pool and more drinkies at the courty and then take away drinkies at the front yard couch.

fuck i was sick this morning.

--

the tricky thing was, that special k called me up last night. i got invited out to some weird boat christening party at palm beach. the problem was that the limo left at midday.

there i was, shivering on the bottom of my bath tub, under running water and praying that i'd either die or come together within the next hour or so to be able to go out with special k.

by some miracle i was able to pull myself together and make it to our meeting at midday.

there was this gorgeous young lil french chicky who joined us and we had a private driver taking us there with a nice lil lexus. it was all good bunnies.

the party was alright. it was all rich, old, famous and drunk. we did the drunk part. left the other three to the rest. which they did well. we did the oysters and champagne, looked young and gorgeous and had a ball.

in the end, we ended up sitting on the deck of this 80ft luxury motor yacht, drinking chardy and being entertained by these old filthy rich farts.

which was actually surprisingly fun.

honours year here i come!

awesome.

finally got the letter from uni telling me that my honours proposal was accepted. in other words, my arse is saved and i don't need to exit the country in march when my current student visa would have ran out. *phew*

now i just need to face all the byrocratic bs with my visa, and continuing my student support from finland. grah. i hate that shit.

but hey, any of you other uni bunnies reading this, let me know if i get to enjoy your company this year too!

wow. i actually have a tan instead of the usual fluorecent white pasty scandinavian skin colour of mine. and that happened purely by accident.

who would've thunk it?

soothing

what is it about big bodies of water that makes them so soothing?

i've prolly mentioned this before, but i'm not a beach person. i mean, i'm living in one of *the* beach cities of the world, yet i've only gone swimming in the ocean twise during the past three years.

i just can't stand the crowded public beaches, the sand and most of all the beach people. no thanks.

however, i do love the presense of water. i have water views from my window and i love walking in the parks along the water. plus my jogs along the waterline de-stress me like nothing else.

and if i ever end up drinking too much by accident, i always find myself either sitting under running water in the shower or lying in the bathtub. the water does make you feel just that little bit more human-like. not much, but at that stage even the slightest improvement makes the biggest difference.

lately, i've made a habit out of going for a moonlight swim on the roof. i love seeing the city lights all around me and enjoy the empty calmness of the pool when there's no one else there.

revelation

something happened during the past few weeks. well, a series of scattered conversations really, and not just *a* thing.

loads of d&m conversations with my mates. somehow all these conversations came together into a revelation last night that i just heard myself say out loud in the middle of a yet another conversation.

i realized that there is some personal bs that i haven't for some reason let go. and more importantly, i realized how much it affects my behaviour in the present day.

two years ago, i prepared a pair of shoes for someone. a pair of shoes that were never filled cause they were too big, even for the person they were prepared for. of course i did not see it then. what followed was a very confusing year, when i ended up messing myself up quite a bit with my own expectations and hopes.

no wonder i am having such trouble tolerating other people's expectations now.

i thought i cleared it all out a year ago when i had my last revelation, but i dare say i just got rid of it instead of going through the issue. i know its lame as fuck, but now i can see why there are so many crap chick flicks built around the need of closure.

there was that one conversation that never happened.

since the pair of shoes never got filled in the first place, i seem to have left them on the table waiting for the next poor fucker to come along, when really i should have wiped the table clean. silly me.

today i had a talk with the frenchman. instead of parting our ways with a fight, i tried my best to explain myself. feel a bit better now. hope that he does too. it was good fun for a while, but not what either one of us was really looking for.

last night made me realise that it's not the cock in me that i need from a boyfriend, but the arms around myself. it's easy to share yourself when you're the king of the world, but it takes a lot to show your weakness to someone and even more to ask for help.

no matter how i want to be a cold, selfish scandinavian ice queen cunt, it's not that simple. hate to admit it bunnies, but i might have a heart after all. *sigh* a mere mortal. how boring.

so yeh, how's that for a start of the year?

him touring in australia

i've been seeing the heartagram pop up in quite a few places lately. i've seen a lot of ppl wear heartagram badges and just the other day i saw it tagged onto a wall in newtown.

the heartagram of course is the logo of a finnish rock band him.

the tall, dark and handsome one hinted that he had heard somewhere that him would be doing a gig in sydney some time soon. well of course i didn't believe it. i thought that he was confusing it with some other band. well, i just checked out the tour dates from him's official website and here i stand corrected.

they are indeed doing gigs in:

• brisbane
  (march 22, 2006)
• sydney
  (march 23, 2006)
• melbourne
  (march 26, 2006)

which is needless to say fucken fantastic.

this is a definite must see for two reasons: first of all it will be trippy as fuck to see a finnish band perform in here and for the second reason... well, it's no secret that ville valo, the singer of him just happens to be hot as fuck.

catching up and pissing up

dinner avec drinkies is never a bad way to spend a night. even if i feel slightly fragile atm. (mebbe more dinner and less drinkies might produce a less wobbly morning)

yesterday, i was bored at home, all lost in the seductive and corruptive words of my new best friend lord henry, when sunshine invited me out for dinner.fuck lord henry, this was real life entertainment.

after the usual few kms of ' where the fuck shall we eat?' walk, we ended up going to one of the locals in the city, had great thai feed and followed it with quite a few drinkies. it was all good.

at one stage i did go off at sunshine tho. and i dare say not at all without a reason. but he said he was sorry, corrected his behaviour and he's back in the good books.

we ended up having a very good talk and he made me feel a lot better. it's funny really. when ever i seem to be feeling a lil lost, he seems to be very good at shaking me out of it just by being there. sometimes you just need that solid safe rock to stop the shaking.

i've said it before and i'll say it again: i do hold my fuckwits dear even after i'm done with them and this one especially can be truly wonderful.

holidays schmolidays

meh. i guess i just can't do this whole sitting on my arse thing. i just feel fucken useless.

i've spent the last few days pissing up, reading books and watching movies. wow. now there's something to write home abt.

--

well, actually, the two pissing up gigs were great. both with the same old crew that i've missed like hell. dui, phoenix and the crowd. first on friday, we had dui's house warming party up on their roof. i dare say we all got utterly trashed. which was fantastic.

then on sat we welcomed the new year right on my backyard at darling point. naturally the boys show up a few hrs late due to the horrific hangover from the previous night. but, they make up for it by wheeling in a shopping cart full of alcohol. now you just gotta luv these guys.

we camped out by the water all night and half of the crazy fuckwits went swimming too. the most fucked up of them all naturally phoenix who (already has a long history of skinny dipping) dived down the 2m drop off the ledge during the midnight fireworks ('oh dear... what is that young man doing? he isn't... is he? oh dear god!') and ended up doing bright white 'full moons' for the audience. then he just popped up and down like a cork with a drink in his hand.

funny as fuck.

--

lord henry is proving out to be excellent entertainment and an endless source of good quality quotes.

'(wo)men, as some witty frenchman once put it, inspire us with the desire to do masterpieces, and always prevent us from carrying them out.'

--

as for the movies, i've watched: broken flowers, team america, in her shoes, shop girl, eddie murphy: raw, the origins of the davinci code, collateral, i [heart] huckabees, whole first season of little britain*... ('i want that one!')

in other words all the flicks that i for some reason haven't had the time to watch earlier on this year (or didn't see worth the movie ticket price). still on the list for the next few days: the aviator, 40 year old virgin, bewitched, the skeleton key, wedding crashers, mr and mrs smith...

(* watching an entire season of the little britain suddenly deciphered a large portion of the sunshine humour that always seemed a lil odd to me. funny that.

i was always wondering why he was screaming 'but i'm a lady!' when ever i tried to ask him to do something. that crazy fuck.)

quoting

' i never approve, of disapprove, of anything now. it is an absurd attitude to take towards life. we are not sent into the world to air out moral predjudices. i never take any notice to what common people say, and i never interfere with what charming people do. if a personality fascinates me, whatever mode of expression that personality selects is absolutely delightful to me.'

'the real drawback of marriage is that it makes one unselfish. and unselfish people are colourless. they lack individuality.'

- oscar wilde - the picture of dorian gray

UPDATE: challenged

maurelita challenged me to reveal my shoeboxes.

50 pairs of shoes*:

• 40 pairs of high heels
• 33 pairs of stiletto heels
• 17 pairs that i wear almost weekly
  
• 15 pairs of black shoes
  
• 7 pairs of red shoes
  
• 6 pairs of classic pumps
• 6 pairs of wedges
• 5 pairs of sneakers
• 5 pairs of thongs
• 5 pairs of 40's style classic lady pumps
• 1 pair of cfm** boots
• 1 pair that is not uncomfortable/painful to wear (=my dear runners)

r.i.p. 7 pairs that i have trashed beyond repair.

(* this is only the shoes that i have with me here in sydney.

when i arrived here 3 yrs ago i had 3 pairs of shoes with me. the rest have accumulated since. there is also a secondary collection in finland, but that is hardly up to date and most likely assimilated into my mum's shoe collection by now...)

(** cfm boots = come fuck me boots)

wow. nice start for a new year...

SYDNEY WEATHER

sunday fire weather warning for extreme fire danger. the nsw minister for emergency services has totally banned the lighting of fires until midnight sunday. very hot. dry and mostly sunny. some cloud late in the day. freshening northwest winds before a strong, squally southerly change late evening. current temperature: 44 C forecast max: 41 C