Sick as a bloody dog

[insert here sniffles and sneezes]

Here I am, sitting all rugged up under our lovely new thick doona, too awake to sleep and too sick to do anything. In other words a perfect opportunity for whinging on my blog. Especially since I already got told off for being so bloody slack lately...

*sniffles*

I got sick yesterday and had to leave work early. I crawled straight into bed and disappeared under the doona to get some well needed rest.

Deviant got home some time after me. He was ranting on the phone to one of his fishing club mates, obviously too distracted to notice my bags on the floor or me in the bed. '...yeh I have a few hours work to do for the club tonite... ...nah mate, I'm all prepared this time: I bought her a pair of pearl earrings... ...that's it mate, I can just bribe her off when she starts carrying on!'

Right. Now just hand me the bloody earrings, or do I need to start carrying on first?

It takes a man to nearly stuff up such a beautiful gesture. I mean, what could be more romantic than a surprise pressie?

Despite the minor glitch in the delivery, I do love my beautiful new pearl earrings! The man had them specially made for me by my favourite jeweller and they match my gorgeous pearl necklace perfectly. I will have to post a picture when I get well enough to leave the house and get a chance to wear them for the first time.

*sniffles*

Luckily I have all three seasons of Black Books & two seasons of The L Word to keep me company.

Now excuse me while I crawl into a corner and die.

Mondays, bloody Mondays...

Is any of you bunnies familiar with the movie Noise?

The clue being that car alarms going off accidentally is so fucken common nowadays, that no one pays any attention to them anymore. So instead of doing their job, they're just adding to the endless cacophony and making our lives that little bit more miserable.

There's a fucken car alarm just going off on my street and I feel a little rectifier waking up inside me.

***

Don't you hate waking up on those mornings when you just feel like you need another 9 hrs of sleep before you could even consider facing the world?

And when you've actually gone to bed in time and slept for a healthy 7.5 hrs, and still wake up feeling like shit, its just not fair.

Why is it that sometimes the same amount of sleep is just not enough? Who the fuck stole my precious rest?

***

Coffee. And Spirulina. Maybe I should mix the two together to get the maximum result?

Grah.

In an attempt to find a less homicidal me

The management team attended our company's 10th bday recently, and on their return this Monday they also delivered a whole load of gossip and anecdotes. I particularly enjoyed the stories about a batshit crazy creative director with *very* limited spoken English and who thought that the answer to everything was yoga.

Nicely timed, I was about to start my first ever yoga class yesterday.

***

I entered the school despite my intense dislike of stinky hippies (I still think someone should tell them the crystals don't work) and ascended the staircase towards the incense and trippy music.

The first thing I see is this drop dead gorgeous bundle of lean muscle approach me with a somewhat stoned smile. He asks me if I was there for the beginners class - tho all I could hear was 'tantric sex' - and I get directed towards the office while praying that the drooling isn't quite as apparent as I feared.

Bunnies, you can't imagine the relief when I heard that he was not our teacher! At least now I had a slight chance of being able to concentrate on what I was doing...

I was early, so I spent about half an hour sitting on the floor mesmerised by the lean muscle and sheer strength at work as the more experienced yoga practicers did their thing at the other end of the room. So beautiful, so impressive, and so often manhandled by the two sex on legs yoga teachers. 

Clearly yoga WAS the answer to everything! 

No pain, no gain

You know how it is - you want to travel? You need to cram yourself in to a friggen plane. Full stop.

And the further you want to go, the longer the pain lasts. Unless you're a fan of sleeping pills, you just need to take it like a man and bitch all you can.

I've come to believe in the power of a well planned liquid diet while on board one of these wonderful airlines. And by well planned I'm referring to the quantity than quality; the more the better. The alcohol is free for a reason you know.

A good indicator of the optimal pace in alcohol intake is that the on board flight entertainment system quality seems almost bearable, yet you still have enough common sense left not to kill the kid kicking the back of your seat.

Not that I'm about to fly anywhere in the near future, I just thought I'd share this little piece of wisdom with you bunnies. So there you go.