exegesis: 20% done. (2 000/10 000 words)

a beautiful day

yet another stunning day in sydney and yet another 9km lap behind me.

today's run was even more productive than the average sweating session. i managed to accidentally outline my thesis (exegesis, really) while running.

i have had this sketch in my head for a couple of months already, but it was lacking structure. suddenly, 3/4 of my run done, the starting point revealed itself as clear as daylight and all i could think was how stupid of me it had been not to see it before.

now i have a starting point, an ending (which is actually already written) and i have an idea how to fill the bit in between. then i know how to tie it up with the theory side and most importantly i have finally figured out the one question that has been troubling me so far; 'why?'.

oh and also, i feel like a saint again. today's lap was a lil bit easier than yesterday's even tho at the end of it my calves were making it quite clear that a day of rest in between the workout sessions might have been a good idea.

i think i'll write the beginning of my exegesis now.

cleaning up my conscience

despite the self-proclaimed pair of brass balls, in some things i'm just so endlessly girly.

nothing cleans up a quilty conscience after endless alcohol/candy/fat consumption quite like a long run does. even one 9km lap in a week washes away a bender of several days. (mebbe that's because the more you piss up the harder it is to survive the run?)

anyhoo, once again its a stunning day in sydney and i just got back from my run.

i just can't understand how running can be so bloody effective... just one run is enough to wash off several weeks of self-abuse and render this old battered body into it's former glory. no idea how its possible, but fuck i love it.

deviant has been talking abt running ever since he decided to quit smoking (nearly 5 weeks already). i'd love to run by the beach, so i might try to talk him into running with me. mind you i doubt i'd keep up with him. he's got twice longer legs than i do. even while walking it takes me 2 steps to match one of his. but running by the beach does have it's appeal.

and as a dear long term reader pointed out, running after him would be a perfect carrot to keep on going. ...i wonder if i could get him running topless? such a gorgeous back he has... *ponders*

academic wank and free alcohol

yesterday was uni awards ceremony night. had to rock up with the selected few classmates to pick up our dean's medals. yeh, we rok.

deviant came along as my guest and drove me to woopwoop and back. which was very nice of him. he even sat through the ceremony without killing anyone. who would've thunk it?

was actually positively surprised abt the ceremony. where the graduation was a cattle drive -ish cheap as shit waste of time ceremony, this was a lil more classy. well, not really classy, but instead of the graduation paper cup of instant coffee in this ceremony there was at least free alcohol served afterwards. and sushi. you can never go wrong with sushi.

and i was expecting a plastic trinket painted with silver, but the medal feels like the real thing and is all heavy and shit with my name engraved on it. yeh i know, i reckon it brought at least a third-of-an-inch more to my academic cock. made me hungrier for some more inches tho.

then we drove back to my place, hit the pub and got sloshed. yay for celebrating... any reason will do really. your cat got knocked up? fantastic! let's drink to that! your mailman is retiring? awesome! drinks on you! its mon/tues/wednes/thurs/fri/satur/sun-day? great! let's hit the pub!

what's in the name?

bunnies, i have to admit: i did originally look up this band just because of their name - architecture in helsinki. but they actually kick arse. they're a melbourne based aussie band and i still haven't found out the story behind the name. but if any of you bunnies know, do tell.

i reckon they'll be on the top of my playlist for the next few days. very quirky and lots of fun.

here's a video of their's that i found on youtube, enjoy:

*growl*

SYDNEY WEATHER
		Monday Few showers. Current Temperature: 15 C Forecast Max: 16 C Wind Direction & Speed: W at 4 knots Humidity: 81%

so much for running today. what is this shit with sydney and rain, huh? they never mentioned any of this shit in the bloody travel brochures. no. it was all sun and summer and fucking beaches. none of this clouds and rain. fuck this. seriously, FUCK THIS.

on that note, i have to tell you non-syd bunnies: this city is made for summer. nothing really works when the weather sucks. if it's cold and rainy, all you can really do is stay indoors and glue yourself to some hottie's ribs. preferably, with no layers of insulation in between.

all the locals keep telling me that as a finn it should be easier for me to handle the cold? bs. why the fuck did they think i was here? if i fucken wanted to freeze my bloody arse i'd have stayed in fucken lapland. no. i like heat. a practical heat seeking missile i tell you. if its cold i'll be wrapped around the hottest object in the room - whether it be deviant, a heater or a doona - faster than you can say 'lack of central heating'.

*deep sigh*

oh well, deviant called me last night to inform that his most recent fishing trip had been a raging success and hence offered to cook me a dinner tonight. which is nice. very nice. he's a fantastic chef that one.

fuck this fitness shit for today, i reckon i'll go for the bottle of nice white with the fresh tuna dinner. yum.

good girls and bad ideas

i haven't been running for the past few months since deviant provides me with exercise aplenly as it is.

however, miss pearl has planted this insane idea in my head.

see, you know those lists that you built in the back of your head? the ones about the things you want to do before you die/get too old? yeh, those. well, mine has had 'run a marathon' on it for quite a while. don't ask me why.

last week miss pearl told me that she is planning to run half a marathon in september, and suddenly that stroke me as a good first step to be able to tick one more thing off my list.

while my current 'exercise program' might be enough to keep me fit looks-wise, i don't think it provides me with the fitness level required for caning down 21kms. hence the jolie method* (also now sworn on by kelly brook) has to be combined with some running.

the only problem atm is that its winter in sydney. while the days are warm enough and the temperature is actually ideal for running, the problem is that it has been really rainy lately. fuck running in rain. that'd fuck up my ipod. and i couldn't possibly run without agro music. but today was perfect. even though its the coldest time of the year, its abt +20c and the most beautiful sunny day outside.

i just came back from my usual 9km jog to the opera house and back. mind you i have to admit that it wasn't easy. i thought i'd die after the first 15 mins. but then i switched my playlist from rammstein to presets and took it a lil bit easier for the next 45 mins. now i feel like i could conquer the world.

but run half a marathon? well, that requires some more practise me thinks. hopefully tomorrow is a nice day aswell...

such a good lil girl i am.

( * = while still married to billy bob thornton, angelina jolie told in an interview - and i quote - 'sex keeps me fit'. plus i remember reading an article about 5 minutes of active sex equaling to 15 minutes of jogging ...active being the operative word. so no bunnies, i don't think starfish quite cuts it.)

'i want that one!'

its like a disease. it hits you when you least expect it and it consumes every cell in your body and occupies every second of your conscious brain processing time. it consumes you. it begs for you to own it.

so beautiful, sleek and sexy. a pleasure to use and what an irrisistible thought of having such portable perfection following your every step.

gimme?

kevin smith rok

i've always been a big fan of kevin smith and once again he has reminded me why. this guy is fucken brilliant.

bloody fucken hell

you'd think that people around you would have a sense of humour, right?

wrong.

see bunnies, i had to do an invite.

an invite for a vip guest event. and you know how these things go: all the overly famous and disgustingly rich people show up and then feast on the free food like they would have been starving for years. and it's the same old story every bloody time.

well, back to the invite.

today is not the most creative day in the office. miss pearl and myself were really struggling with the right wording for this invite. suddenly it sort of got out of hands and we were howling with laughter writing a highly inappropriate version of the invite containing wording like 'here's your chance to hog more free food than humanly possible while sloshing down impressive quantities of cheap red wine' etc.

well, we thought it was hilarious and so over the top that no one could possibly take it seriously. to share the giggles with the others, i sent the design to my boss to be signed off. and yes, you guessed it: wrong again.

just got an email back from the boss beginning with the words 'i am not happy with this...'

*deep sigh*

somebody shoot me. please.

i realised the other day that my hair is finally long enough to do something with. the prissy hair-up-do goes great with secretary heels and skirts. for some reason i love wearing prissy and prudish outfits while using words like 'cunt', 'fuck' and 'wankface' constantly.

also, sitting in a cafe, dressed up as a fragile lil lady while cranking out nine inch nails/rammstein/tool/black label society/etc out of my ipod loud as fuck does it for me. not entirely sure why.

i reckon i just like contradictions.

i've created a monster

i had this incredibly beautiful little red pair of gabor heels that were too small for me. i had been carrying them with me for 5 yrs.

see, when i bought them, i thought i could squeeze my feet into them - which i actually could - but fuck it hurt. they were too beautiful to let go of, so they just sat in my collection of shoeboxes waiting for the purpose of their existance to rise up.

deviant's lil sisters came over to stay with him for the weekend. aged 10 and 13 they're every bit as beautiful as their two older brothers are handsome. the older is already 15cm taller than i am and could no doubt walk into any bar without being carded, but the smaller one still looks like the adorable lil kid she is. i could honestly adopt the lil one. both of the girls rok, but the lil one is just like my own lil sister back home in finland.

about half way through the first day we came to the conclusion that we should have served the lil one with valium for brekky while the rest of us would have needed speed to keep up. where the fuck do they get their energy from?

oh right, back to the shoes.

see, i realised that the lively lil 10 year old is in fact a size 6 just like my beautiful lil pair of red gabor heels. and the heels are just right for her too as they are only about 4cm high. so after asking for deviant's approval, i gave the lil sister her first pair of heels and she luveded them.

i don't think she took them off the whole w/e.

didn't see that one coming...

why is it that the middle of the week drinkies always hit you like a friggen freight train?

see, it was just supposed to be a couple of drinkies after work. or so i thought.

deviant's friend miss maitland was in town for a couple of days and we decided to show her a good time to break her house-wifey routine. first i took them to the heritage for some excellent belgian beer and a good feed and then we did a lil kings cross tour from lotus to the world bar. naturally marinating ourselves in alcohol as we went.

and marinade we did. oh yes. [insert here the thirsty mongoloid]

when we got to the world bar, this blonde chicky knocked over my drink. when she started apologising for it, the accent sounded awfully finnish and when i took a closer look at her i realised that she looked somehow familiar.

after a quick wtf chat, i found out that we used to go to the same dance classes fifteen-fucken-years-ago back in tampere. haven't seen her since and now she suddenly shows up at my local on the other side of the world and knocks my drink over. how fucken trippy is that?

all in all, had a fantastic night out. and i think we managed to entertain miss maitland too. heh.

oh. and due to one of those drunken oh-why-the-hell-not moments i showed deviant my blog. silly rabbit.

slacker?

bunnies, i fear i have been quite the slacker lately. as far as blogging goes that is.

usually i blog while i'm spending a quiet night at home or when i'm bored shitless in the office. well, lately i've spent all my freetime with deviant and i've been very busy at work.

no excess time = no ranting between the shoeboxes

i'll try to be better in the near future. so let's see, what is there to catch up?

oh, received my uni results for the past semester. yeh, i kick arse. first semester ever when i managed to score a clean streak of high distinctions out of every single assignment. pretty sweet, huh?

i'm preparing material for the exhibition in italy atm. that should be cool.

also, i'm doing a collaboration installation with an artist mate of mine. it's been in the back of our heads for a few months and he emailed me the other day with an idea. i got inspired as fuck straight away and the project seems to be getting off. i reckon this one will be *really* good. will keep you updated.

pretty arty hey? heh. that reminds me. friggen deviant. he's made a habit out of calling me 'o famous one'. cunt. really need something good to get back at him.

in general: life's sweet as fuck.

south coast nsw rok!

citronella and deviant scheming for fishing mission

we went on a lil weekend getaway with deviant's family last w/e. was great. country-side nsw is just so incredibly beautiful. and while touristy beaches shit me to no end, i love empty secluded ones.

the boys fished and i went snap-happy.

irl bunnies: if you want to see photos of the w/e, email me and i'll send you the address to the album.

gapingvoid

miss s introduced me to a new comic artist. he draws these brilliant masterpieces on the back of business cards. i was so impressed that i added his widget to the left column...

anyhoo, this is good shit. give it a go bunnies: gapingvoid

“I have this mate of mine that you’d really like!” she suddenly shoots over a piña colada big enough to make any drag queen’s hands seem tiny. As I respond by giggling obviously drunk enough to be entertained by any bad idea available, she continues: ”You know, a real man: tall, dark and handsome. Hung like a donkey and goes on for hours!” And without waiting for my approval, she starts typing away the text message.

Stumbling into a yet another bar along our path, we dash straight into the ladies room. As soon as we slam the door open, we face a young woman with her top hoisted all the way up to her armpits. “They’re fake.” She states as soon as she sees us. Naturally we engage ourselves into a long conversation about the perky little B-cups, squeezing and poking as we go. We exit the bathroom laughing at the idea that maybe the male stereotypical fantasies about ladies rooms and girls’ locker rooms aren’t that far fetched after all.

The text message confirming the boy’s arrival beeps on my friend’s mobile. Hugging my glass of white wine I prepare myself for a major disappointment as we make it back to our table. Squinting my eyes to clear the drunken blurry vision I try to catch my let down of the night arriving. Instead, I see this mind-bogglingly gorgeous six-foot-five hunk walk up and greet us in a beautiful deep voice filtered through his borderline shy boy-next-door grin. Nearly choking on my wine I try to hide the pleasant surprise as well as the degree to which I was marinated in cheap white wine.

”You said you had a roof-top pool?” he suggests with a devious wink and I swallow the lure gleefully. Surely it was a short enough trip for an after party at my place, to make it with the three of us in a two seater ute? Fetching yet another bottle of white along with a six pack of Becks from the nearby bottle-o, I giggle my way into the front seat of his car and pull my friend on my lap.

I regain my consciousness slowly and recognise the disturbance to my sleep as an unfamiliar ringing tone. Before I open my eyes I feel an arm reaching over me for the ringing phone on the floor next to my bed. As I squint for a sneak peak through half closed eyelids I see my friend still asleep on the other side of the gorgeous hunk. She is as beautiful as he is handsome.

He answers the phone and after glancing around him with a wide grin he replies to the voice on the other end: “Mate, I am SO comfortable in this bed right now that there is nothing in the world that could make me get up…” The sound of the phone falling on the floor followed by a soft pleased growl transfers the grin on my face as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer. I drift back to sleep thinking: "A real man alright..."

closure?

i don't know how long you've been reading my rants bunnies, but there was something in the past that was draggin along for quite a while. in this case i'm referring to mr. pinstripe.

it was abt two years ago. we went on a few dates and it was fantastic, but it never really took off. instead it was just dragging along for a year after which i got the shits and called it off. even though we remained friends afterwards, there hasn't been any contact for more than half a year.

since there was never really a beginning, there was never really a proper end either. it was a difficult one to put behind me since i always felt that there was no closure.

well, just recently i was walking home from work and even though he hadn't visited my mind recently, walking past his old work place reminded me of him. and suddenly i realised that it was up to me to bring in the closure i had missed for so long after him. that i didn't need his input for it. and just as soon as i realised it, i found myself reaching for my phone and deleting his number. a small gesture but i guess symbolically quite significant.

deviant deserves a clean table. it is up to me to drop my baggage so that i can give the best of me to him.

speaking of which... it has been exactly 5 months since we met. scary hey?

perrrrrrkele!*

a typical finnish man enjoying a relaxing afternoon in the sauna...


* perkele = one of the most common swearwords in finnish language - wikipedia

more on the finnish art of swearing >> swearsaurus

good times

busy lil bee i tell you. i've been devoting all my time and energy to supporting deviant's quit smoking project. yes, i know: such a good lil girl i am.

mind you bunnies, i have to admit that i have loved every second of it.

i am not quite sure what happened, but something has changed. ever since deviant came back from his latest fishing trip, everything has been just that little bit different. he has always been very good to me, but this last couple of weeks have been just amazing. he has been more affectionate, more thoughtful, and just that little bit more present than he has been before. never before in my life have i been treated this well.

you know those little gestures that make your insides turn all gooey and bring that friggen annoying grin on your face that is just impossible to wipe off? the ones no one else would even notice? yeh. there has been those: the unexpected hug while shopping, the innocent touch on your neck while passing by, the un-asked-for foot massage while watching a movie. the little things that make life so achingly enjoyable that all you can do is wonder what on earth you have done to deserve it.

on daily basis i have been pampered as if i was a princess and he has truly proved out to be the perfect prince charming that i never even believed in. who would've thunk it?

i don't think i have ever been this happy.