mussels and booty calls

heh. funny. i had received a booty call from special k at 01:30 last night. i'm starting to see a pattern that is a bit of a warning call. maybe it's a better idea to stay away from this one dispite the temptation...

frenchman wanted to take me out for dinner last night. he took me to the heritage, which was very nice. i just LOVE those mussels in white wine. we ended up having a good conversation, which i suppose was the point of the whole meeting. well, that and me getting back my $200 that he owed me.

he said a lot. i did more shrugging than anything else. meh. i dunno.

reading to relieve boredom

the good thing abt being bored shitless is that i finally have had the time to bury my nose in a book for good.

recently i've been reading michel houellebecq. recommended by the frenchman of course. i started with atomized and just finished reading platform. quite enjoyed both really. brilliantly depressive.

atomized even lend me a quote for my grad show work:

"the story of a life can be as long
or as short as the teller wishes."

today, over lunch, i was whinging to sunshine that i had run out of books to read and didn't know what to get my hands on next. he dragged me straight to a bookshop, bought a copy of oscar wilde's the picture of dorian gray and handed it to me saying: 'read that.'

righti-o. can't really argue that, now can i?

what i really want to get my hands on is irvine welsh tho. mebbe after this one...

lunches?

wow. i got stood up yesterday.

i told you that special k called the other night and invited me over for a champagne lunch yesterday? yeh well, lunch time came and went and i never heard from special k. i wonder what's that all about?

oh well, life's like a box of chocolates... and i'm the lactose intolerant cunt.

--

today sunshine invited me out for lunch.

but the bitch is just using me. he needs new shoes so he needs his 'personal fashion adviser' to pick them for him. oh well. i'll make sure he doesn't get away with friggen maccas. heh.

blue

i just had an interesting conversation with someone who has synthesesia. in his case its sound and visuals that are mixed/combined and he says he sees music as colours and patterns. VERY fascinating.

made me think of three colours: blue. must watch that flick again. must. one of the most beautiful movies i have seen.

weather forecast for the rest of the week: hot as fuck

we're living exciting times bunnies.

special k just called. i have a champers lunch date tomorrow. have to admit that i'm quite curious. this might be a lot of fun...

and abt other potential entertainment, there's a promise of a dinner with good quality entertainment by someone very dear plus an incredibly hot booty call hanging in the air for the rest of the week.

i had already forgotten how much fun it is to be fully single. cheers bunnies!

whatever lola wants, lola gets
and little man, little lola wants you
make up your mind to have
no regrets
recline yourself
resign yourself, you're through

i always get, what i aim for
and your heart and soul
is what i came for

whatever lola wants, lola gets
take off your coat
don't you know you can't win
you're no exception to the rule
i'm irresistible you fool, give in

give in...

'it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life, for me - and i'm feelin good'

such a good lil girl i am. instead of piggying up all xmas, i've been all health health health and even did a boxing day jog today.

yeh i know, quite boring but hey what can i do?

mmm... mebbe it'll get more exciting soon tho. as i've already mentioned, the frenchman is officially history. so it's time to start benchmarking the new potential entertainment.

i've received a few very intriquing messages/calls within the past 48 hrs. lot's of potential. let's see how it all goes bunnies...

two of the recent temptations are already old favourites but there's a new one. let's call the new one special k. yeh, i think that'll do.

well, special k messaged me last night. 'where are you beautiful? wish you were here..." sweet, seemingly innocent but heavily flirty. just the way i like em...

amusement

i was doing xmas shopping a few hrs before yesterday's screaming match. i was with frenchman and his good mate the brit.

frenchman was going through an incredibly painful ritual of cheese buying that took abt half an hr and costed something like $60. (fuck the french)

naturally i was bored shitless waiting with the brit. as we were standing next to the massive cheese counter ('oh my love, it iz ze best cheeze zelection in zydney!') there was this woman in her mid fourties fretting around us.

after a series of overly dramatized deep sighs and foot stomping, she got the attention of one of the staff members behind the counter. poor lil thing. as soon as she was given the chance, she just went off the roof. there was the dramatic gestures of throwing away the number ticket repeatedly, screaming, calling him names and the lot.

as i was quite amused and entertained by the whole show, i pointed it out to the brit. after observing the poor lil boy's attempts to calm her down, the brit suddenly walked to the lady and started a conversation. there was a slight stunned silence and then she went completely apeshit.

as the frenchman finally finished shopping for cheese, and we started walking off, the brit followed us with a smirk on his face.

of course i had to ask...

'oh, i just offered to give her a number of a very good anger management counselor...'

cracked me up. good value those brits with their fucked up dry sense of humour.

olen androgyyni

sinussa on paljon sekä feminiinistä naista että maskuliinista miestä - vielä enemmän miestä kuin naista. sinulla on paljon sekä miehekkäitä että naisellisia persoonallisuuden piirteitä ja toiminnan tyylejä.

olet sukupuolisesti harmoninen. mieheytesi ja naiseutesi ovat tasapainossa keskenään, eikä kumpikaan puolesi hallitse persoonaasi toisen kustannuksella. olet sukupuolen suhteen itsevarma.

olet sukupuolishoppailija! tiedostat sukupuolijärjestelmän olemassaolon, sukupuoliroolit ja odotukset - kriittisestikin. et välitä näihin odotuksiin vastaamisesta, vaan teet mitä haluat ja käyttäydyt sukupuolivapaasti. sinusta on luontevaa toteuttaa itseäsi sekä miehisten ja naisellisten puoliesi kautta. haluatkin toteuttaa itseäsi sukupuolisesti, koska sinua kiinnostaa ja innostaa sukupuolisuus, itsessäsi ja toisissa. olet hyvin sukupuolinen, sukupuolisempi kuin ihmiset yleensä - sukupuolesta innostunut sukupuolikokeilija ja seikkailija.

viihdyt sukupuolessasi - niissä kaikissa. sinua kiinnostaa ja innostaa sukupuolisuus, itsessäsi ja toisissa ihmisissä. voit olla jopa sukupuolimaaninen tai yliherkistynyt sukupuolelle.

testaa sukupuolesi

complete dickheads vs. wonderful fuckwits

this whole xmas time from my bday to new year is usually the worst time in the world. i am in a really foul mood non-stop. first its due to the usual aging crisis, then being home sick during xmas hols and nye is just the usual stress cause you just HAVE TO have a great party and HAVE TO have so much fun and HAVE TO. FUCKEN HAVE TO! grh.

last night i ended up having a final shouting match with the frenchman. the fucken cunt. i was feeling pretty fucken low afterwards. no matter how much i hate xmas i really have no desire to spend it by being screamed and yelled at.

the short version is that he wanted me to accompany him to a fancy xmas dinner at the house of his personal friend. well, yesterday he just happens to slip out the lil fact that the personal friend is actually his big ex's godfather and that his ex and her family will be there too. fuck that.

i didn't really feel comfortable going there after that, to which he responded like a true dickhead, screamed and yelled at me and gave me an ultimatum that if i didn't go, he wouldn't want to have anything to do with me after that. well, of course i take such fucken bs from no one and told him to go to hell. hence spending xmas by myself now.

oh well, at least i'm with my 'true love' and the sex is always great. heh.

anyhoo, after feeling low as hell, i messaged sunshine. we concluded that the frenchman was a complete cunt and that if sunshine ever saw him he would break his neck. as usual, made me feel so much better. heh.

later on when i was already sleeping, he woke me up with a very sweet phone call and talked me back to sleep. then this morning i wake up to a sms from him: "merry christmas you wonderful miserable finnish cunt." so very sunshine of him and he made me smile again. a lil while ago he called me again cause he was worried about me spending my xmas home alone.

he really can be truly wonderful. to be honest i think i miss him a bit. he's coming back to syd on the day after tomorrow and promised to take me out on a late xmas dindin. which should be very, very nice.

i also received a 'merry xmas' sms from muscles, but that's a whole different story. heh.

wow.

looks like i'm spending xmas home alone with not a cent on me. fish paste and crisp bread anyone?

quick look

sorry bunnies, the pics are crap. it's cloudy today and the light in my apartment is bad. i will take better pics soon...

f i n a l l y

now my wonderful lil bachelorette studio is all luvly and livable.

the frenchman took me to ikea yesterday and i bought a shitload of stuff including a desk and a bookcase.

i can't tell you bunnies, how big of a difference it makes to get my comp off the floor all set up on a proper desk and arrange my books and dvds to a nice lil bookcase so that i can finally chuck all those friggen milk crates.

i luv my lil apartment. so perty and so comfy!

i dun have any pics yet but i will take a few as soon as i get my lovely ladies on the wall and get my beg propped up on the legs i bought.

now that WAS a surprise

you know what bunnies? i had a fantastic bday.

see, as i mentioned earlier i really honestly hate bdays. i'm seriously not an emotional person, but last year i was borderline crying the entire friggen day. and if you know me irl you know how out of character that is.

i wasn't expecting this year to be any different.

but instead, i ended up having a fucken fantastic night wining and dining out with my mates. we went to the heritage, a belgian restaurant with mindboglingly fabulous food. and even tho i am most definitely not a beer drinker, their cherry beer is oh so yummy.

let me tell you bunnies: duck salad for apetizer, mussels in white wine for main course and all that washed down with cherry beer is where it's at.

miss pearl with her hunk of a boyfriend, pg and his luvly girlfriend ms a, kato, charlie, professional pirate and his beautiful preggers wife and of course the frenchman showed up. we had a ball.

oh, and after the dinner they suddenly carry a cake in!

frenchman had called miss pearl to hunt down a dairy free cake with her help. i was in the office when the call came in and i thought there was something fishy going on. but i would have never thought that the man was THAT resourceful! heh. the cake was chocolate and coconut, and oh so yummy. even tho very difficult to eat since they brought us soup spoons instead of cake forks. heh.

all in all a fucken fantastic day. who would have thunk it?

i strongly dislike these days. in fact, i fucken hate bdays. they always send me in the foulest moods ever. grh.

happy bday to me,
happy bday to me,
happy bday to mee-eeeeeee,
happy bday to me.

there, done. now let's skip the rest of the day and wake up after xmas. dankuu.

lil graduate

wow. quite the geek i am.

got my uni results back so now i've finally graduated for sure. i have to say that the list of grades over the last three years is quite a perty sight.

--

ooh. friday was xmas party at work. we organised it with miss pearl and a feast we did have.

the real hit of the night was our sangria. see, i had a lil bit of an accident with the vodka. i kinda accidentally poured in a lot. like A LOT. as a result, even the blokes swapped their beers in for the sangria. heh.

so yeh, we rok.

mid week blog

wow. peter jackson is a god. a fucken god.

and on a slightly different note, i just received a text message. a very pleasant surprise that one. made me grin. mebbe i need to come up with a new nickname soon...

i like nice surprises.

to do a 'patsy stone'

alrighty bunnies, let's get back to the very dear subject of drinking, shall we?

as we all know, there are different states of being drunk. here's a quick basic scale from 1 to 10. 1 being adorable and 10 being... erm... well, not *quite* so adorable.

1. tipsy
2. giggly
3. flirty
   
4. drunk
5. horny
6. trashed
7. shitfaced
8. off one's tits
9. slaughtered
10. patsy stone

how do you you know that you've done a patsy stone?


cause:

• way too much stolichnaya (actually, any available alcohol will do)
• no solid food consumed for the past decade or more

symptoms:

• drinking straight out of the bottle in a very lady-like manner
• responding to any attempts of removing the bottle with vicious growling and hissing
  
• repeated attempts to chase anything on two legs
• impressive acts of drunken clumsiness etc falling off a couch/falling down stairs/falling out of a cab/etc
• waking up with one's make-up magically relocated on one's cheeks and with a hairdo that would scare even the most prominent spandex heavy band members
• (extra points for waking up screaming 'eddie eddie eddie EDDIE EDDIE!", picking up a wind screen washer at the traffic lights or torching someone's kitchen by passing out while smoking)
  

side effects:

• often followed by a 'edina monsoon syndrome' - a pathetic recovery attempt filled with mantras like 'it's all health health health darling!'

and why am i ranting on abt doing a patsy stone? well. i did. on saturday. a full on 10/10 patsy-fucken-stone.

i might do a retrospective entry on this once the dust settles... but not quite yet bunnies. not quite yet.

let's just say that it involved way too much white wine, nearly getting snogged by frenchman's mate's girlfriend in a bathroom (quite the hottie btw!), dramatic exit by flying down a staircase and disappearing until i was found a few hrs later, on the other side of the city, giggling my arse off sitting on frenchman's stairs with bruised knees from the friggen staircase.

classy, eh?

erwin wurm rok!

bunnies, i think i just found a new fav artist. this guy is bloody brilliant!

instructions on how to be politically incorrect:
two ways of carrying a bomb


instructions on how to be politically incorrect:
looking for a bomb 4


instructions on how to be politically incorrect:
looking for a bomb 3


instructions on how to be politically incorrect:
inspection


instructions on how to be politically incorrect:
fuck the third world

'it's official: too much sex saps male brains'

male animals can produce a lot of sperm or grow big brains but cannot do both, according to a study that may confirm the suspicions of many women.

the study of 334 bat species suggests that energy-hungry brains can evolve only at the expense of other tissues.

writing in proceedings of the royal society, biological sciences, scott pitnick, of syracuse university, new york, reported that species with promiscuous females had evolved extra large testicles but smaller brains.

smh article

posting spam

this is just a spam i got from ms pearl this morning but i was deeply amused by it. i dunno if that says more abt my current mental flatline or the quality of the humour. but hell, just give it a go. i dare say i'll be quoting the bold ones in the future...

THINGS STRESSED WOMEN SAY AT WORK
- and other places

1. okay, okay! i take it back. unfuck you.
2. you say i'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
3. well this day was a total waste of make-up.
4. well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. don't bother me, i'm living happily ever after.
6. do I look like a people person?
7. this isn't an office. it's hell with fluorescent lighting.
8. i started out with nothing and i still have most of it left.
9. therapy is expensive. popping bubble wrap is cheap. you choose.
10. why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
11. i'm not crazy. i've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
12. sarcasm is just one more service i offer.
13. do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. i'm not your type. i'm not inflatable.
15. stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet
16. back off!! you're standing in my aura.
17. don't worry. i forgot your name too.
18. i work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
19. not all men are annoying. some are dead.
20. wait...i'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done.
22. ambivalent? well, yes and no.
23. you look like shit. is that the style now?
24. earth is full. go home.
25. aw, did i step on your poor little itty bitty ego?
26. i'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
27. a hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
28. you are depriving some village of an idiot.
29. if assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.

bugger. buggerbuggerBUGGER.

fuck me dead. the u2 sydney gig - that's 70 000 tickets - sold out in less than 60 minutes! unfortunately i was not lucky.

abt half an hour after the gig sold, there was tickets on ebay for $3500. great. i only need to swap one of my kidneys to get a ticket...

mebbe there's still a chance tho

little things

you know what bunnies? its the little things that make the biggest difference.

i just enjoyed the most beautiful brekky purring in the morning sun and enjoying a near perfection flat white with cereal from my new beautiful coffee cup and bowl.

pleases the eye and soothes the soul i tell you.

it looks like its going to be a beautiful day today. even tho i have to head way out west to penriff. right now i'm feeling so good that i have no doubt i'll be able to cope with cityrail.

ooh, don't forget bunnies: u2 tickets come on sale today!

domestic shoppity-shop

cups and bowls and shit. yay for no more plastic plates!

i've been on a search for some plates and bowls for quite a while, but i haven't been able to find ones that i like. i wanted plain white colour, simple clear shapes and understated elegance.

today i happened to check out what victoria's basement had to offer and finally found what i wanted. s&p momo is where it's at.

jog in the sun with jay kay

such a good lil girl i am today. just came back from a 9km jog. was absolutely fantastic.

tho i have to say that spending too much time with the frenchman is not healthy. my fitness level has gone down SO much. even the slightest hill made my heart rate jump all the way upto the omg-im-going-to-have-a-heart-attack! level. not fun.

oh well, maybe i'll just swap the time i've spent with him to jogs. i think that'll be healthier and more entertaining.

the only thing i don't like abt running along the water all the way to the opera house and back is the tourists. they shit me to no end. fucken bus loads of japanese with their cameras is the last thing that i need when i'm sweating like a xmas ham in the oven.

but jay kay was there all the way whispering sweet tunes to my ears and he made it all ok.

shit. i think i burned my arms. note to self: must buy sun screen.

how could you do this to me jay kay?

i have worshipped you as a god ever since i was a stoopid lil teen girl. i paid big bucks to see you play live and let myself be hypnotised by your uber funky dance moves. you were truly amazing and nearly blew my mind. in fact, i think i need to have your bastard child.

but where jay kay, oh where was 'too young to die'?

i waited and waited and was so sure that you'd at least crank it out loud as an encore. but no. you obviously do not love me like i love you.

how could you do this to me jay kay? how could you?

hangover friday morning and then back on the horse

man. this christmas time is pretty fucken hardcore. from piss-up to the next and everyone seems to demand attention and time. which keeps me busy and entertained so it's all good.

first sunshine takes me out for lunch. which was very nice even tho he had to rush back to work.

right when i walked into the office, frenchman calls asking me out for lunch. which was a bit odd out and of the blue since i hadn't really heard anything from him since monday. i promised to accompany him for a coffee and it was alright. he seemed to be in a better mood and i copped no bs at all. apart from him being shitty abt me being too busy to see him lately.

oh well, 'serves the dog right that the bones are hard to chew'*

then after work we went for a coffee with ms pearl. gingerbread latte rocks. the first half that is . the rest was way too sweet. all the syrup must have been sitting on the bottom. after coffee it was party time again. kato joined us up at the cafe and we headed to a dodgy darling-it-hurts pub.

it was shirley's bday last night and he invited everyone from work to piss it up full on. yes. shirley is a he. apparently it has something to do with his german accent and the word 'surely'. anyhoo we got absolutely shitfaced. it was all pub feed, strongbow and being extremely loud and annoying as a group. which was of course fantastic.

frenchman rocked up with his mates and he was being all obnoxious and annoying. was shitting me a bit but then i decided i was way too drunk to give a fuck. he others comtinued clubbing so i left with him and we ended up pissing up at his place with a good bunch of his mates. which was fun.

then i got a bit bored with all the endless architect bs conversations, and started to get sleepy so i decided to fuck off home to get some sleep. then naturally he got shitty. no idea what the situation is atm. haven't heard anything from him today. oh well. as i said to him before: no drama. this table is easy to clean.

not really in the mood for any bs. i'm way too hyped up abt tonight and jamming it up while drooling after the god-like jaykay himself! wooohoooooo!

bunnies, put on 'too young to die', crank it out LOUD and jam it up with me!

(* a quick translation of a finnish saying 'oikein koiralle, että luut on kovia')

oooOOOooof...

fucken free wine.

i went out with miss pearl and pg after work yesterday. we did a commercial-contemporary arty free wine combo. we started from a fine arts auction preview and continued to the uws honours exhibition.

i blame my current throbbing headache on the fact that the guy pouring the wine at the auction preview was just in-fucken-credibly hot. although mr bear's gaydar told me to give up all hope. but i'm telling you bunnies: hot. hothotHOT.

*owwie hurty head*

we continued to woolloomoolloo to the uws honours exhibition. i saw the works already at our grad show, but it was cool seeing them in 'a real gallery'. stephen fox and daniel green kicked arse. big time. good shit.

pretty much all my teachers were there and a few fellow students as well. we continued to piss up and ended up sitting at a pub nearby with all my teachers. good times.

and man did we get pissed. i was giggling all the way home.

i was smart enough to open my curtains before i fell asleep. this morning i woke up to the most beautiful sunrise and decided to get up even before my alarm went off. practically a miracle considering the hangover and the shattering glass skull.