[grumble]

had a BAD DAY at work. but that's enough abt that. still too shitty to type abt it. boring shite anyway bunnies.

--

and from corporate whore bullshit straight into relationship bullshit. see, i wasn't supposed to be in one. 'just for fun, no emotional attachment, no promises, no expectations'. right?

wrong.

now i'm copping a relationship worth of bullshit from left and right without really having the benefits to go with it. well, not all of them anyway. i am starting to get so very tired of this.

mebbe i should do something abt it. lemme see.

--

caught up with sunshine again on my way home. stopped over for a drink and had a very satisfactional bitch. and in exchange he got a chance to mock a certain nationality. which he always seems to enjoy.

funny thing that one. good value i suppose.

--

i was supposed to go and see the bloodied cunts do a gig at the abercrombe tonight. but now i'm way too pissy to go. first the work bs and now i'm just waiting for this mountain of personal bs to crash my spirits for the rest of the night.

my only hope will be that i will have a chance to get my hands on some spirits before that. that might numb it down to the pointing and laughing level. mind you that might not be beneficial for keeping the peace.

fuck peace. yeah.

from dieting to ghosts via sodomy and necrophilia

grh. i think i've been taking this 'starving artist' bs a lil bit too literally since i graduated. i can tell you bunnies that porridge for brekky, lunch and dinner get's old pretty fucken fast.

oh well, 'involuntary dieting' brings great results and i'll be wearing bikinis in no time.

'...always look on the bright side of life
[insert here pathetic attempts to whistle the tune]
always look on the light side of life...'

in other words: counting hrs to pay day on sat. oh yes, there will be a feast.

--

which reminds me: i saw the best tagline ever on the paper the other day.

'SAW II - oh yes, there will be blood...'

pissed myself laughing. i had to sms it to sunshine straight away cause i just knew that he'd appreciate it as much as i did.

--

speaking of sunshine, he went apeshit when i mentioned sunday's incident with the french driving. it's prolly best not to quote him here but the message was something along the lines of sodomy and necrophilia considering a certain nationality. yeh. not perty.

kinda cute that he cares tho. i do hold my fuckwits dear even once i'm done with them.

--

ooh, speaking of ghosts from the past: dui (my dear flatmate on campus for 2 yrs) smssed me last week and invited me out for drinkies with him and the boys at newtown. sure enough i got on the train and was giggling over a glass of white in no time.

even tho i hardly ever see dui we still keep in touch, but the ghost from the past in this case was phoenix (was pretty much my best mate for the second year) who i haven't really heard anything of since our lil falling out lil less than a year ago.

it was really good seeing both of them again. phoenix called me after i got home and we agreed to do a proper catch up soon since there's almost a year worth of ground to cover. i think it sounds like a very good idea.

yet another ordinary day in the world of shoeboxes

last night i had to witness a not-so-flattering event in the frenchman's life.

we were going out for dinner and the plan was to catch up with a couple of his mates on the way. well, we did. the shitty part was that 'catching up' is french for 'an excuse to drink lots of wine'. which as such is all cool and groovy. but. BUT. the problem comes in when you add the french idea of 'sober enough to drive'.

fucktard.

he got done in for drink driving on our way home and i was so incredibly embarassed to be in the car to witness the event. i can't believe i was stupid enough to get in the car in the first place.

he started his misbehaving a day early. he received his australian citizenship today. i'll still call him frenchman.

you can get the guy out of france but you can never get the french out of the poor bastard.

still a fucktard.

friday, bloody friday

drama drama drama.

gah. thank fucken hell my uni bs is over already so that i am slowly starting to gain the necessary energy needed for dealing with ppl bs.

won't bore you bunnies with details but it's revolving around the ever so familiar topic of double standards. i can't even begin to explain how fucken frustrating it is to have someone expecting you to deal with unnecessary bs yet not willing to cop the same in return. grh.

you know, i think this shit is very simple and clear:

[1] you can't ask for something you wouldn't be willing to do yourself
[2] you can't do something that you wouldn't want to receive

simple? i think so. yet again and again i find that people just expect to play with two sets of rules. fuck that.

--

on a happier note: saturday week is jamiroquai! can't wait!

today i also heard that u2 is doing a gig in sydney next march. that's a third must see in lil over half a year (first was of course nine inch nails a few months ago).

exhausted

ex·haust
v. ex·haust·ed, ex·haust·ing, ex·hausts
v. tr.

1. to wear out completely.
   
2. to drain of resources or properties.
3. to use up completely.
4. to treat completely.
5. to draw out the contents of.
6. to let out or draw off.

[dictionary.com]

sorry abt the long radio silence bunnies. but i have been. and still am. exhausted that is. the last month has been incredibly draining and i still have a lil bit more to go before i can kick start the maintenance process and repair what's left.

so here's just a few short snippets to tell you the most important bits.

--

friday was great. i had my work all set up on time. and the best part was to be able to sneak in with the random visitors and observe their reactions without them realising that i was the 'artist' in question. most of the ppl just cracked up. some of them didn't realise what they were watching. and of course, some were slightly offended. the best reaction i witnessed was by a couple in their mid 30's.

[a couple walked into the space, looked at the projection for a little while after which the content obviously dawned in on them. she turns around to walk out with a very displeased look on her face...]

she: 'some people are just sick!'

[he looks a bit confused. looks at her, glances at the projection, looks at her walking out and finally decides to follow her. ]

he: 'ummm.... but... but... i like the colours...?'

[once again i choke on my wine in the background]

--

this made my day yesterday.

--

i've been a sick lil puppy since friday.

all this stressing ended up causing a weekend of nauseousness and suffering endless non-stop stomach cramps. (nonono... don't look at me like that. i know what you think, but i'm telling you it wasn't just hangover!)

on monday morning the frenchman got me convinced into seeing a doctor about it. i hate quacks and wouldn't see one unless i was dying. but his entire family are friggen doctors and he was very persistent. ( i dare say just very tired of my whinging)

so i went.

first thing she asks is if i was preggers. after i told her to fuck off she started to examine the damage. she gave me pills. 'pop one before every meal and you'll be fine in no time.' right. well. the bloody package told me nothing abt the drug or what it did. so i googled it:

indications and clinical uses :
in the management of manifestations of psychotic disorders such as agitation, confusion, delusion, tension and anxiety.

it is also effective in controlling nausea and vomiting due to stimulation of the chemoreceptor trigger zone.

in selected patients, prochlorperazine may be of value for the relief of excessive anxiety, accompanied by severe tension and agitation, associated with psychoneurotic or somatic conditions.

. . . W T F ? ! ?

full artist portfolio online

just a quick note to those bunnies who know me irl: as a part of my grad show work i published my 'artist' portfolio online.

in case you're interested to have a look the address is www.firstnamelastname.com

and here's another one to save your day...

certain cases of mouth cancer appear to be caused by a virus that can be contracted during oral sex, a swedish study shows ... "you should avoid having oral sex," dentist and researcher kerstin rosenquist, who headed the study, told swedish news agency tt.

article at smh

a lil treat for you male bunnies...

a rugby fan who cut out his testicles with wire cutters to mark a wales victory is at a loss to explain why he did it.

"it wasn't a bet but i said i'd cut my b*lls off if we won ... so i started hacking away at my tackle ... it took about 10 minutes and there was quite a bit of pain but i just kept going ... the cutters were blunt so i had to keep snipping."

article at smh

where did that weekend go?

friday is getting closer and closer. *panic*

must: finish video. author dvd. build gallery space. paint gallery space. set up dvd player, projector, speakers. write an essay. create a graduate portfolio. and and and...

* P A N I C *

but after friday i'm a very happy de-stressed lil chicky.

no sunshine for grad show tho. the fuckwit is busy doing some other shit. promised to marinade him in cheap white wine for that one. and maybe punch. in the face. hard.

even so, grad show should be pretty sweet. a bunch of my work mates are planning to make the hike. frenchman has promised to come and take care of photography. also, i managed to book mr. pinstripe for some good quality pissing up. well, almost. he's driving. but i'm hoping that he'll go hard core once we continue the party in the city. he fucken better. after all, it is My Very Big Night.

which reminds me: i finally got my ladies back! mr. pinstripe came by yesterday to return my lovely ladies and brought me some new music too. such a good boy he is. our taste in music (and movies) is very similar and he is always introducing me to some new good quality tunes.

i gave him a tour around the place and he was pretty impressed by my beautiful lil batchelorette haven.

it was very good to catch up tho we still had to postpone the real hard core piss-up of a catch up. should be booked in as soon as we both finish uni bs for this year.

interesting fact for monday morning

a study conducted by ucla's department of psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. for example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

however, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to prefer a man with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat jammed up his arse while he is on fire. further studies in this area have been cancelled.

email educated by swingingsusan

such a good girl i am

frame 27-02 from Milking The Cow

finally. finished printing the last of my Milking The Cow frames on wednesday. and what's even better, i got all the 120 images scanned in too.

now all the rest of the work that needs to be done (apart from building the damn projection space) can be done right here at home, sitting in front of my cranky lil lovable baby. i love my comp.

you know what bunnies? i think i might be able to pull this off after all...

when the alarm went off this morning, the first thing i saw was a very concerned looking half asleep frenchman. he talks to me in a serious voice. he says:

"can you imagine the powers that could be unleashed if someone got their hands on the hat or the locket?"

me? i crack up. freak.

funny that

i have to tell you bunnies, that my dear mates are at least as fucked up as this soap opera called my life.

the most recent fucked up plot twist is that a very good friend of mine has decided to write a script based on my fucked up adventures. i can only guess which juicy and embarrassing bits get written in and how my wonderful fuckwit men are portrayed in it.

but to be honest, i can't wait to read how she decides end the story. heh.

silly bridget!

i was not aware that you can compress so much embarrassment into such a short time and space. yes bunnies, i went to a dance class.

see, i used to dance when i was a stupid lil teen shit. i used to dance, perform and even compete. did a pretty decent job at it too. i wasn't anything great, but i did alright and i had a great time doing it.

then, 13 yrs passed.

now, in the sad present day i'm just old, stiff and look friggen ridiculous. was not fun. i dare say i'll stick to my jogs to the opera house and back. much better work out with much less embarrassment. besides, it's free and you see hotties instead of sweaty fat unco arses all around you.

grad show invite

(invite front)

(invite back)

old, boring and conservative?

domestic shit. not really my field. in fact this whole lack of nest building instinct makes it extremely uncomfortable to try to gather all the necessary crap around me. why doesn't The Home just exist as a readymade?

i have a theory. i've prolly mentioned this before, but just in case you're a new bunny and haven't been exposed to my genious yet: i must have been queuing for the dunny while they were handing out nest building instincts and biological clocks and when i got back the only thing left was the excess pairs of balls *shrugs*

fuck shopping for bloody coffee mugs.

yeh well, back to the real world. i had to. so i did. quilt covers and sheets too. but the funny thing was that after i was done, i was surprised by how conservative my choises were.

my new sheets are white on white. very minimal and plain. traditional milk shake glasses for smoothies, white plain coffee mugs and the most traditional espresso stove pot you can find. i wonder what that's all abt?

it seems that the more fucked up my mind and creativity gets, the less i have the need to reflect it around me in anything other than my artworks (or drunken conversations). contrary to what i was as a troubled lil teen angst shit, i don't have the need to dye my hair in all the colours of the rainbow just to scream out that i am an individual. i dun need to dress up in second hand rags to spell out that i am an [A]rtist with a [S]oul.

fuck having a soul. i'm one half corporate whore and one half pathetic wanna-be-artist. of course with my luck i've ended up being soulless and poor instead of having money and a heart. heh.

in fact, the older i get the more pathetic and ridiculous all that seems. all i can think is that ppl should just get over themselves.

maybe i should get over myself, quit this fucken whinging and go shopping like the good lil girl i am. *deep sigh*

perty new baby

fuck renting a fridge. had enough shit with the rental places and instead of fiddling around with them i went and bought my own. much easier.

xcept for the delivery bit. heh. just a hint bunnies, a sporty coupe-type bmw is NOT the best vehicle when fridge hunting. did the job tho. and now my perty new lil bar fridge is purring in my lil kitchen just waiting for me to fill her with goon.

let the summer begin!

ok, now it's officially summer season for this lil girly!

yesterday i tested out my roof top pool and today i made my first smoothie for this summer. join in on the fun:

1/2 mango
banana
(soy) milk
coconut & pineapple juice

blend it well and i can tell you bunnies, that it's even better if you combine it with bikinis and sun by the pool...

i think this shall be the best summer in sydney yet!

"the most exciting thing is not doing it. if you fall in love with someone and never do it, it's much more exciting."

-andy warhol

friday morning giggles

soooo perty

you know what bunnies? having a kick arse view makes even early cloudy mornings more bearable. borderline beautiful. join me for a cup of coffee, will you?

finally got rid of the pathetic 56k modem i've been using for the past 4 months and now that i have my own place, i upgraded to adsl2+. better than sex i tell you. ...well, you know. almost.

even tho i'm still missing most of the compulsory shit (no fridge, no desk, no micro...) i have the essentials: big uber-comfy mattress on the floor and my baby is connected with a kick arse broadband connection. yay.

--

disgustingly romantic smssing:

frenchman: 'where are you cunt?'
tp: 'none of your business wankface.'
frenchman: 'you ROK!'
tp: 'i know.'

--

this shit cracked me up. [via]

sum of my own experience

"if a man accepts that everything must change, then his life is reduced to nothing more than the sum of his own experience - past and future generations mean nothing to him."

- michel houellebecq

for some reason that quote just seemed to sum up my own view of the world pretty fucken well.

--

went to uni today and had lunch with a couple of my uni mates. i think i was having a whinge and a bitch abt something when one of them cracked up going:

"hang on... you actually call him 'frenchman' in real life? and i thought it was just a nickname for the blog!"

heh. they thought it made him sound like a toy. i never really looked at it that way. kinda funny. no wonder frenchman hates the fact that i never call him by his real name.

[eject]

had a bit of a freakout the other morning.

(pointless detail: the frenchman makes snoozing into an artform. this particular man has THE most loud and annoying alarm clock. the first time i heard it i nearly got a heart attack. frenchman? he doesn't even flinch. that friggen thing can scream for half an hour and he doesn't do a thing to silence it. grh.)

back to the story. spent the night (once again) at frenchman's place and in the morning i woke up before he did. i had already dressed up and had my brekky before he got up. i was feeling a bit weird the whole morning and then suddenly, just as he stepped into the shower, i snapped.

[insert here a sound of a dry twig snapped into half]

without a word, i just gathered my shit and walked out. all i could hear was a '...heyheyHEY!?!' from the shower as he heard the sound of the door. i got into the lift before he had a chance to stop me. the phone kept ringing all the way down (VERY slow elevator) and the neighbour sharing the ride gave me funny looks.

it was quite hilarious really. me marching down the street in my girly skirt and high heels with a nekkid frenchman hanging out of the 8th floor window screaming 'OI! where the fuck are you going?' after me. i turned around, waved with a grin and fucked off.

i wonder what that was abt? all i can offer as an explanation is that i suddenly just experienced this really strong realisation that i don't belong there. and i just had to eject myself right away.

[insert here the sound of pressing
the eject button on an old c-cassette player]

i guess i am a bit of a weirdo.

losing it again bunnies

i can't stress this enough: boredom is dangerous. extremely dangerous.

last weekend i chopped my hair off and bleached it. now it's very short, very messy and very VERY blond. feel all girly and summery again. and perhaps entertained for a lil while. which is fantastic.

yesterday, the frenchman shows up at my door with three pages of printed out blonde jokes. fuckwit. looks like he is enjoying my new look as much as i am... just in a lil bit different way.

note to self: must get even somehow. oh well, the french are an easy target. plenty of material to choose from.

--

morning was supposed to be efficient and good: sleep a bit longer than usually, doll up, receive a fridge at 10am and fuck off to work. sounds simple enough, right? wrong.

during my daily morning clothes crisis i managed to pour an entire half a litre "mug" of coffee into my shirt drawer. fuck. don't ask me how it happened. no matter how many times i play the scenario in my head, it still doesn't quite add up. but it did happen. needless to say i'm wearing black today. and leaving a seductive coffee trace behind me where ever i go.

then while dolling up my fucken bathroom ceiling lamp just falls down. missing my head by an inch or so. (fair enuff, i guess it could have been worse and actually hit me in the head and knock me out...) so there it is, my friggen ceiling lamp, dangling mid-air. fuckity-fuck.

then the fridge boys show up. hour and a half late and bringing a friggen full size fridge instead of the bar fridge that i had ordered. bloody fucken hell. there was no way it was going to fit into my cute lil kitchen and the guy has the nerves to suggest that i should leave it there in the middle of the floor. nearly punched him.

need chocolate. and caffeine. lots of both.