honeymoon

i cannot begin to tell you what a pleasure it is to be a mac user again. everything just works and looks so perty.

i've said it before and i'll say it again: fuck pcs.


quoting a hot-momma-to-be friend of mine: 'comparing macs and pcs is like comparing jamiroquai's car to john howard's car...' and johnny dear, i'm done with your oh-so-boring wheels. i need some eye pleasuring excitement. yes.

oh, found another perty addition to my baby. since the macbook only has 80gigs of hard drive space, i opted for an external one to store my working files on:

>>> lacie brick 250gig external hard drive

isn't she perty?

and she's mine, all mine!

...yeh, the tax returns came through and i marched straight into the closest apple centre and walked out with a box full of black & beautiful sleek portable perfection. sooo perty.

the world is feeling smaller by the day

its funny what a difference the technology can make.

my mum has finally got her webcam purchased and installed at home. only took abt half a year of whinging to get her to do that. well, since that i've been able to transfer myself in the middle of our livingroom weekly while catching up with my family almost face to face. makes such a big difference compared to just hearing the voice.

(oh btw, any of you irl bunnies around the world are using skype, you can find me under the skypename 'firstname.lastname')

also, technology would make my jogs more interesting if i'd finally get the battery changed to my heart rate monitor watch. now i just have to go for my runs without recording the data.

oh well, its a beautiful enough day here is sydney again and for two days in a row the weather has provided enough motivation for running.

[insert here a chicky as sweaty and pink as a piggy on a barbie]

tomorrow deviant is driving me down to kiama and back to shoot my next video. such a perfect man he is. which reminds me, better go and scrub myself up so that i'll have enough time to doll up before he gets here.

simply brilliant

'i am here to fix your computer miss...'

tell you what bunnies, i'm getting spoiled rotten.

my home desktop was dying. the two case fans had died a long time ago and the cpu fan was on it's last breath. the poor thing threw a hissy fit every time i tried to work it any harder than the usual web browsing. first the bloody overheated drama queen would freeze and then crash like the pc it is.

naturally, this was pretty fucken annoying.

yesterday, deviant hunted down the right parts for my computer, picked me up from work and fixed my computer straight away. such a good man he is! now my baby is purring like a kitten again. well, mebbe a kitty with tb, but purring none the less!

since my baby was able to handle a proper workload again without spazzing out, i started working on the layout for deviant's article while he cooked me a gourmet dinner. he truly treats me like a princess. tho i am certainly not complaining - i am luvin every second of it!

mmm... there is just something so incredibly porn in a real man fixing things with tools. it just does it for me.

so close yet so far...

don't you just hate life's lil unexpected disappointments?

the day would have been perfect if you had no knowledge of it, yet the lil possibility of something nice suddenly fucking up dulls even the things that are going good.

take this for example:

i joined arts hub the other week. (for those who are not familiar with the site, its an australian job site for people working in the arts industry.) well, apparently you got a lil merchandise mug sent home after joining in.

i just got out of shower when the buzzer went off. it was the mailman informing me that he had a lil parcel for me. so i had to quickly dress up in something and run downstairs. it was a lil mug sized box with arts hub logo on it so i guessed what it was straight away.

excited over this lil unexpected positive surprise, i ran back upstairs opening the box as i go. really, i felt like a lil kid on xmas. well, not only was the mug broken in pieces, they had thrown in a lil freddo chocolate to cheer up my day. well, i'm lactose intolerant and can't eat chocolate.

so instead of cheering up my day, i was delivered with a double disappointment and now have a bloody chocolate on the desk making me crave something i can't have.

*deep sigh*

scientific vs. arty

you know what bunnies? even tho i am hardly the stereotypical chick, i do think i can still play the good girlfriend part pretty damn well when i feel like it.

see, i was waiting with a delicious spicy tomato pasta dinner and a glass of white when the tired fisherman returned from his trip last night. even tho he is the master chef and i do feel slightly intimidated cooking for him, i think i've done well the times i have. at least the feedback has been positive.

we just have entirely different ways of cooking. he's the perfectionist 'everything must be done from scratch' and 'presentation is everything' kind of chef with near scientific precise method for cooking and cutting every part of the meal.

where as i am more of the 'mmm... let's throw in this, some of this, pour more wine into the chef, add a lil bit of this and some of that and see what happens...' type. surprisingly my method seems to work too. mind you, it doesn't look as convincing during the process and the presentation is usually just chucking it into a bowl. next to a glass of wine of course.

but i have to say that its all good. instead of causing arguments or disagreements, the two very different approaches seem to compliment each other and i for one have learned a lot from my borderline pedantic hottie chef already. we just take turns in cooking and while one's cooking the other one is assisting without meddling in. works like a treat and the food is always uber delicious.

chicks & champers

last night was our soon-to-be-a-tradition chicky night out with miss pearl, kato and the ever beautiful gaia.

the pre-party was at miss pearl's new apartment. she's been talking the place up for couple of months already, but i have to say that it was even better than i expected. incredible lil nest with fantastic location, harbour bridge & opera house views and funky lil decor a la miss pearl. such a perfect lil love nest for her and mr hero.

and i have to admit bunnies, seeing her apartment did nearly jumpstart my bloody nesting instinct too.

we started out with way too many bottles of white outside on the balcony eating lil nibblies and once it got too chilly we moved indoors to the cozy lounge room. we were very drunk, bubbly, giggly, girly and quite loud i'm affraid. once the first neighbour appeared behind miss pearl's door to politely suggest that we could turn the volume down a bit, we decided it was time to move on.

we ended up sloshed and giggly as all hell, dancing, drinking and teasing poor lil men at the cross. i entertained myself by shooting the poor bastards down after their cheesy lines or boring compliments. mind you, it does grow old pretty fast. i'd rather go out with deviant, cause his mere presence is usually enough to repell any unwanted male attention.

i do think i'm a bit of a cunt to strangers approaching me in a bar. i just can't help it. they are so transparent and simple with their attempts to stick their man meat into any hole available and i'd rather make it clear from the start that they're wasting their time in my case.

i'd never start anything with someone i meet in a bar anyway. not that i'd have anything morally against it - i'd have to have at least some level of morals to begin with - but it just doesn't do it for me for some reason. *shrugs*

in the end every boring cunt trying to pick me up just makes deviant look better and better in my eyes.

exegesis: 25% done. (2 500/10 000 words)

one step closer to portable perfection?

yesterday was good. had a day off but spent it doing my taxes online, sorting up my costume jewellery (and throwing out 60% of it) and cleaning up the place here and there.

i realised that my tuition fees are tax deductible and since they pile up to nearly $17k over the last tax year, its a big deal. if the e-tax program is right, i should be getting enough money back to buy the macbook that has been causing me wet dreams for quite a while now. *drools*

*fingers crossed*

oh, and last night was great. deviant cooked up a massive feast. the biggest and fattest steaks i have seen in my life with roasted potatoes and sweet potatoes accompanied by his trademark chilli salad. sooo yummy. and of course we marinated ourselves with a couple of bottles of red wine while cooking.

the routine lately has been to walk to the store, pick up stuff for dinner, walk home via the liquor store that has wine tasting every night, grab a couple of bottles of the best one, consume the wine while cooking and then just feast till we both resemble beached whales and fall asleep half way through a twin peaks episode.

heh. good stuff i tell you.

which reminds me: bunnies, if you like red wine, make sure you give peter lehmann barossa range cabernet sauvignon 2003 a go. best red i have ever had. or to quote citronella 'this is the hook-up!'

wasn't the dudesons (male) pig named britney?

i think she is my favourite celebrity of the day.

its people like her that make it so easy for the rest of us to appear intelligent, charming and beautiful with no effort what so ever.

tell you what bunnies, gotta luv her.

exegesis: 20% done. (2 000/10 000 words)

a beautiful day

yet another stunning day in sydney and yet another 9km lap behind me.

today's run was even more productive than the average sweating session. i managed to accidentally outline my thesis (exegesis, really) while running.

i have had this sketch in my head for a couple of months already, but it was lacking structure. suddenly, 3/4 of my run done, the starting point revealed itself as clear as daylight and all i could think was how stupid of me it had been not to see it before.

now i have a starting point, an ending (which is actually already written) and i have an idea how to fill the bit in between. then i know how to tie it up with the theory side and most importantly i have finally figured out the one question that has been troubling me so far; 'why?'.

oh and also, i feel like a saint again. today's lap was a lil bit easier than yesterday's even tho at the end of it my calves were making it quite clear that a day of rest in between the workout sessions might have been a good idea.

i think i'll write the beginning of my exegesis now.

cleaning up my conscience

despite the self-proclaimed pair of brass balls, in some things i'm just so endlessly girly.

nothing cleans up a quilty conscience after endless alcohol/candy/fat consumption quite like a long run does. even one 9km lap in a week washes away a bender of several days. (mebbe that's because the more you piss up the harder it is to survive the run?)

anyhoo, once again its a stunning day in sydney and i just got back from my run.

i just can't understand how running can be so bloody effective... just one run is enough to wash off several weeks of self-abuse and render this old battered body into it's former glory. no idea how its possible, but fuck i love it.

deviant has been talking abt running ever since he decided to quit smoking (nearly 5 weeks already). i'd love to run by the beach, so i might try to talk him into running with me. mind you i doubt i'd keep up with him. he's got twice longer legs than i do. even while walking it takes me 2 steps to match one of his. but running by the beach does have it's appeal.

and as a dear long term reader pointed out, running after him would be a perfect carrot to keep on going. ...i wonder if i could get him running topless? such a gorgeous back he has... *ponders*

academic wank and free alcohol

yesterday was uni awards ceremony night. had to rock up with the selected few classmates to pick up our dean's medals. yeh, we rok.

deviant came along as my guest and drove me to woopwoop and back. which was very nice of him. he even sat through the ceremony without killing anyone. who would've thunk it?

was actually positively surprised abt the ceremony. where the graduation was a cattle drive -ish cheap as shit waste of time ceremony, this was a lil more classy. well, not really classy, but instead of the graduation paper cup of instant coffee in this ceremony there was at least free alcohol served afterwards. and sushi. you can never go wrong with sushi.

and i was expecting a plastic trinket painted with silver, but the medal feels like the real thing and is all heavy and shit with my name engraved on it. yeh i know, i reckon it brought at least a third-of-an-inch more to my academic cock. made me hungrier for some more inches tho.

then we drove back to my place, hit the pub and got sloshed. yay for celebrating... any reason will do really. your cat got knocked up? fantastic! let's drink to that! your mailman is retiring? awesome! drinks on you! its mon/tues/wednes/thurs/fri/satur/sun-day? great! let's hit the pub!

what's in the name?

bunnies, i have to admit: i did originally look up this band just because of their name - architecture in helsinki. but they actually kick arse. they're a melbourne based aussie band and i still haven't found out the story behind the name. but if any of you bunnies know, do tell.

i reckon they'll be on the top of my playlist for the next few days. very quirky and lots of fun.

here's a video of their's that i found on youtube, enjoy:

*growl*

SYDNEY WEATHER
		Monday Few showers. Current Temperature: 15 C Forecast Max: 16 C Wind Direction & Speed: W at 4 knots Humidity: 81%

so much for running today. what is this shit with sydney and rain, huh? they never mentioned any of this shit in the bloody travel brochures. no. it was all sun and summer and fucking beaches. none of this clouds and rain. fuck this. seriously, FUCK THIS.

on that note, i have to tell you non-syd bunnies: this city is made for summer. nothing really works when the weather sucks. if it's cold and rainy, all you can really do is stay indoors and glue yourself to some hottie's ribs. preferably, with no layers of insulation in between.

all the locals keep telling me that as a finn it should be easier for me to handle the cold? bs. why the fuck did they think i was here? if i fucken wanted to freeze my bloody arse i'd have stayed in fucken lapland. no. i like heat. a practical heat seeking missile i tell you. if its cold i'll be wrapped around the hottest object in the room - whether it be deviant, a heater or a doona - faster than you can say 'lack of central heating'.

*deep sigh*

oh well, deviant called me last night to inform that his most recent fishing trip had been a raging success and hence offered to cook me a dinner tonight. which is nice. very nice. he's a fantastic chef that one.

fuck this fitness shit for today, i reckon i'll go for the bottle of nice white with the fresh tuna dinner. yum.

good girls and bad ideas

i haven't been running for the past few months since deviant provides me with exercise aplenly as it is.

however, miss pearl has planted this insane idea in my head.

see, you know those lists that you built in the back of your head? the ones about the things you want to do before you die/get too old? yeh, those. well, mine has had 'run a marathon' on it for quite a while. don't ask me why.

last week miss pearl told me that she is planning to run half a marathon in september, and suddenly that stroke me as a good first step to be able to tick one more thing off my list.

while my current 'exercise program' might be enough to keep me fit looks-wise, i don't think it provides me with the fitness level required for caning down 21kms. hence the jolie method* (also now sworn on by kelly brook) has to be combined with some running.

the only problem atm is that its winter in sydney. while the days are warm enough and the temperature is actually ideal for running, the problem is that it has been really rainy lately. fuck running in rain. that'd fuck up my ipod. and i couldn't possibly run without agro music. but today was perfect. even though its the coldest time of the year, its abt +20c and the most beautiful sunny day outside.

i just came back from my usual 9km jog to the opera house and back. mind you i have to admit that it wasn't easy. i thought i'd die after the first 15 mins. but then i switched my playlist from rammstein to presets and took it a lil bit easier for the next 45 mins. now i feel like i could conquer the world.

but run half a marathon? well, that requires some more practise me thinks. hopefully tomorrow is a nice day aswell...

such a good lil girl i am.

( * = while still married to billy bob thornton, angelina jolie told in an interview - and i quote - 'sex keeps me fit'. plus i remember reading an article about 5 minutes of active sex equaling to 15 minutes of jogging ...active being the operative word. so no bunnies, i don't think starfish quite cuts it.)

'i want that one!'

its like a disease. it hits you when you least expect it and it consumes every cell in your body and occupies every second of your conscious brain processing time. it consumes you. it begs for you to own it.

so beautiful, sleek and sexy. a pleasure to use and what an irrisistible thought of having such portable perfection following your every step.

gimme?

kevin smith rok

i've always been a big fan of kevin smith and once again he has reminded me why. this guy is fucken brilliant.

bloody fucken hell

you'd think that people around you would have a sense of humour, right?

wrong.

see bunnies, i had to do an invite.

an invite for a vip guest event. and you know how these things go: all the overly famous and disgustingly rich people show up and then feast on the free food like they would have been starving for years. and it's the same old story every bloody time.

well, back to the invite.

today is not the most creative day in the office. miss pearl and myself were really struggling with the right wording for this invite. suddenly it sort of got out of hands and we were howling with laughter writing a highly inappropriate version of the invite containing wording like 'here's your chance to hog more free food than humanly possible while sloshing down impressive quantities of cheap red wine' etc.

well, we thought it was hilarious and so over the top that no one could possibly take it seriously. to share the giggles with the others, i sent the design to my boss to be signed off. and yes, you guessed it: wrong again.

just got an email back from the boss beginning with the words 'i am not happy with this...'

*deep sigh*

somebody shoot me. please.

i realised the other day that my hair is finally long enough to do something with. the prissy hair-up-do goes great with secretary heels and skirts. for some reason i love wearing prissy and prudish outfits while using words like 'cunt', 'fuck' and 'wankface' constantly.

also, sitting in a cafe, dressed up as a fragile lil lady while cranking out nine inch nails/rammstein/tool/black label society/etc out of my ipod loud as fuck does it for me. not entirely sure why.

i reckon i just like contradictions.

i've created a monster

i had this incredibly beautiful little red pair of gabor heels that were too small for me. i had been carrying them with me for 5 yrs.

see, when i bought them, i thought i could squeeze my feet into them - which i actually could - but fuck it hurt. they were too beautiful to let go of, so they just sat in my collection of shoeboxes waiting for the purpose of their existance to rise up.

deviant's lil sisters came over to stay with him for the weekend. aged 10 and 13 they're every bit as beautiful as their two older brothers are handsome. the older is already 15cm taller than i am and could no doubt walk into any bar without being carded, but the smaller one still looks like the adorable lil kid she is. i could honestly adopt the lil one. both of the girls rok, but the lil one is just like my own lil sister back home in finland.

about half way through the first day we came to the conclusion that we should have served the lil one with valium for brekky while the rest of us would have needed speed to keep up. where the fuck do they get their energy from?

oh right, back to the shoes.

see, i realised that the lively lil 10 year old is in fact a size 6 just like my beautiful lil pair of red gabor heels. and the heels are just right for her too as they are only about 4cm high. so after asking for deviant's approval, i gave the lil sister her first pair of heels and she luveded them.

i don't think she took them off the whole w/e.

didn't see that one coming...

why is it that the middle of the week drinkies always hit you like a friggen freight train?

see, it was just supposed to be a couple of drinkies after work. or so i thought.

deviant's friend miss maitland was in town for a couple of days and we decided to show her a good time to break her house-wifey routine. first i took them to the heritage for some excellent belgian beer and a good feed and then we did a lil kings cross tour from lotus to the world bar. naturally marinating ourselves in alcohol as we went.

and marinade we did. oh yes. [insert here the thirsty mongoloid]

when we got to the world bar, this blonde chicky knocked over my drink. when she started apologising for it, the accent sounded awfully finnish and when i took a closer look at her i realised that she looked somehow familiar.

after a quick wtf chat, i found out that we used to go to the same dance classes fifteen-fucken-years-ago back in tampere. haven't seen her since and now she suddenly shows up at my local on the other side of the world and knocks my drink over. how fucken trippy is that?

all in all, had a fantastic night out. and i think we managed to entertain miss maitland too. heh.

oh. and due to one of those drunken oh-why-the-hell-not moments i showed deviant my blog. silly rabbit.

slacker?

bunnies, i fear i have been quite the slacker lately. as far as blogging goes that is.

usually i blog while i'm spending a quiet night at home or when i'm bored shitless in the office. well, lately i've spent all my freetime with deviant and i've been very busy at work.

no excess time = no ranting between the shoeboxes

i'll try to be better in the near future. so let's see, what is there to catch up?

oh, received my uni results for the past semester. yeh, i kick arse. first semester ever when i managed to score a clean streak of high distinctions out of every single assignment. pretty sweet, huh?

i'm preparing material for the exhibition in italy atm. that should be cool.

also, i'm doing a collaboration installation with an artist mate of mine. it's been in the back of our heads for a few months and he emailed me the other day with an idea. i got inspired as fuck straight away and the project seems to be getting off. i reckon this one will be *really* good. will keep you updated.

pretty arty hey? heh. that reminds me. friggen deviant. he's made a habit out of calling me 'o famous one'. cunt. really need something good to get back at him.

in general: life's sweet as fuck.

south coast nsw rok!

citronella and deviant scheming for fishing mission

we went on a lil weekend getaway with deviant's family last w/e. was great. country-side nsw is just so incredibly beautiful. and while touristy beaches shit me to no end, i love empty secluded ones.

the boys fished and i went snap-happy.

irl bunnies: if you want to see photos of the w/e, email me and i'll send you the address to the album.

gapingvoid

miss s introduced me to a new comic artist. he draws these brilliant masterpieces on the back of business cards. i was so impressed that i added his widget to the left column...

anyhoo, this is good shit. give it a go bunnies: gapingvoid

“I have this mate of mine that you’d really like!” she suddenly shoots over a piña colada big enough to make any drag queen’s hands seem tiny. As I respond by giggling obviously drunk enough to be entertained by any bad idea available, she continues: ”You know, a real man: tall, dark and handsome. Hung like a donkey and goes on for hours!” And without waiting for my approval, she starts typing away the text message.

Stumbling into a yet another bar along our path, we dash straight into the ladies room. As soon as we slam the door open, we face a young woman with her top hoisted all the way up to her armpits. “They’re fake.” She states as soon as she sees us. Naturally we engage ourselves into a long conversation about the perky little B-cups, squeezing and poking as we go. We exit the bathroom laughing at the idea that maybe the male stereotypical fantasies about ladies rooms and girls’ locker rooms aren’t that far fetched after all.

The text message confirming the boy’s arrival beeps on my friend’s mobile. Hugging my glass of white wine I prepare myself for a major disappointment as we make it back to our table. Squinting my eyes to clear the drunken blurry vision I try to catch my let down of the night arriving. Instead, I see this mind-bogglingly gorgeous six-foot-five hunk walk up and greet us in a beautiful deep voice filtered through his borderline shy boy-next-door grin. Nearly choking on my wine I try to hide the pleasant surprise as well as the degree to which I was marinated in cheap white wine.

”You said you had a roof-top pool?” he suggests with a devious wink and I swallow the lure gleefully. Surely it was a short enough trip for an after party at my place, to make it with the three of us in a two seater ute? Fetching yet another bottle of white along with a six pack of Becks from the nearby bottle-o, I giggle my way into the front seat of his car and pull my friend on my lap.

I regain my consciousness slowly and recognise the disturbance to my sleep as an unfamiliar ringing tone. Before I open my eyes I feel an arm reaching over me for the ringing phone on the floor next to my bed. As I squint for a sneak peak through half closed eyelids I see my friend still asleep on the other side of the gorgeous hunk. She is as beautiful as he is handsome.

He answers the phone and after glancing around him with a wide grin he replies to the voice on the other end: “Mate, I am SO comfortable in this bed right now that there is nothing in the world that could make me get up…” The sound of the phone falling on the floor followed by a soft pleased growl transfers the grin on my face as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer. I drift back to sleep thinking: "A real man alright..."

closure?

i don't know how long you've been reading my rants bunnies, but there was something in the past that was draggin along for quite a while. in this case i'm referring to mr. pinstripe.

it was abt two years ago. we went on a few dates and it was fantastic, but it never really took off. instead it was just dragging along for a year after which i got the shits and called it off. even though we remained friends afterwards, there hasn't been any contact for more than half a year.

since there was never really a beginning, there was never really a proper end either. it was a difficult one to put behind me since i always felt that there was no closure.

well, just recently i was walking home from work and even though he hadn't visited my mind recently, walking past his old work place reminded me of him. and suddenly i realised that it was up to me to bring in the closure i had missed for so long after him. that i didn't need his input for it. and just as soon as i realised it, i found myself reaching for my phone and deleting his number. a small gesture but i guess symbolically quite significant.

deviant deserves a clean table. it is up to me to drop my baggage so that i can give the best of me to him.

speaking of which... it has been exactly 5 months since we met. scary hey?

perrrrrrkele!*

a typical finnish man enjoying a relaxing afternoon in the sauna...


* perkele = one of the most common swearwords in finnish language - wikipedia

more on the finnish art of swearing >> swearsaurus

good times

busy lil bee i tell you. i've been devoting all my time and energy to supporting deviant's quit smoking project. yes, i know: such a good lil girl i am.

mind you bunnies, i have to admit that i have loved every second of it.

i am not quite sure what happened, but something has changed. ever since deviant came back from his latest fishing trip, everything has been just that little bit different. he has always been very good to me, but this last couple of weeks have been just amazing. he has been more affectionate, more thoughtful, and just that little bit more present than he has been before. never before in my life have i been treated this well.

you know those little gestures that make your insides turn all gooey and bring that friggen annoying grin on your face that is just impossible to wipe off? the ones no one else would even notice? yeh. there has been those: the unexpected hug while shopping, the innocent touch on your neck while passing by, the un-asked-for foot massage while watching a movie. the little things that make life so achingly enjoyable that all you can do is wonder what on earth you have done to deserve it.

on daily basis i have been pampered as if i was a princess and he has truly proved out to be the perfect prince charming that i never even believed in. who would've thunk it?

i don't think i have ever been this happy.

health health health darling...

how about that weekend bunnies? started on fucken wednesday!

wed: celebrational piss-up with deviant and had a fantastic time.

thu: i chilled out while he halved a case with manny(*).

fri: deviant calls me up around 3pm. and they're already down a case with manny. apparently they had been waiting for the bottle-o to open at 9am so that they could buy more beer. fucken certified piss-heads i tell you. i took a cab over and skulled a bottle of white to catch up. needless to say it all got messy. great times tho.

but the big one was saturday.

i had this cool as fuck work related piss-up to attend and i invited deviant along with manny. we honestly drank the place dry and the light motorcycle most definitely left the hands. (fuck i love those gibberish finnish sayings literally translated).

never in my life have i drank that much vodka.

or had such a friggen surreal night. at the end of it all i could do was to point and laugh. prolly cause i thought i was already sleeping buy that stage. it was just too fucken funny and absurd to be real. too x-rated to share right now, but let's see once the dust settles.

i was able to confiscate most of the visual evidence afterwards, but i can tell you bunnies, it was not perty.

[ note to self: i have got to stop doing this. ]

since last week was such a bender, deviant decided that this was his cue for cleaning up his act and dropped caffeine, alcohol and cigarettes off his daily menu. two days have passed and he's doing great. not cranky at all and i have to say that i'm quite enjoying him re-directing his attention to more productive addictions.

luvin it. devian rok. big time.

(* 'manny' = Dedicated Man Friend[tm] - in deviant's case: jesus the carpenter)

'...and australia's still like double-u-tee-ef..'

poor wittle me...

as few irl finn bunnies have already been asking: there is no shoes on tour this june-july.

usually i have been going back home for a month from mid-june to mid-july. but this year will have to be an exception.

as i am doing my honours year at the moment, i need to hand in my thesis (well, exegesis really, but no one seems to know what that is so it's easier to use a word everyone knows) in october and i can tell you bunnies, it's missing a good 10 000 words or so at the moment. not even mentioning the 2/3 videos that are still missing from my grad show work. so yeh, i'll be a very busy lil chicky for the rest of the year.

so darling irl finn bunnies, when are you coming down under to visit me? there is a place to stay as long as you bring salmiakki ( with and without vodka, pls) and cloudberry liqueur...

donedonedone - ALL DONE!

schooooooools out for summah! well, uni and winter really, but you get the picture.

i had a fantastic night out celebrating with deviant. we started with uber yummy wanky cocktails at lotus (potts point), continued with a quick glance at the sydney biennale (art gallery of nsw) and then a grand finale piss-up at the tilbury (woolloomooloo). top spots i tell you.

it ended up being the perfect kind of night out: nice drinks, good talks and great times.

you know the way you start getting bored of people after spending too much time with them? i always get that. yet, with this gorgeous piece of man meat, it's the opposite. the more time i spent with him, the more i enjoy it. it just keeps getting better and better every time i see him.

life's pretty fucken sweet.

posting spam (again)

once upon a time,


a guy asked a girl: "will you marry me?"


the girl said, "NO!"

and the girl lived happily ever after, and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, travelled more, had many boyfriends, saved more money, had all the hot water to herself, never had pubic hairs under the toilet seat lid, watched girlie movies, never had football on, never wore fricken lacey lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked good in sweat pants and shirt, and burped, swore, & farted all the time.

THE END

--update

after quite a few bunnies have been asking about this, i feel the need to point out that this was a 'posting spam' entry. in other words i posted up an email going around the office that i for some reason (prolly doe to the lack of caffeine) found amusing.

so this is not my text and most definitely not out of my life. deviant is still borderline sane and very much in the picture.

rok on - a quick update

busy times bunnies, busy times.

i have been juggling my time between work, uni and deviant and there hasn't been a minute left over lately.

--

never underestimate the power of sms filth!

deviant went on a fishing trip last week and he was supposed to get back on sunday night. heh. after sending a rather explicit sms on thursday, i received a phone call on friday informing me that he was coming back two days early.

my kinda man i tell you!

--

oh great news bunnies:

on monday night an art critic / curator from rome emailed me. she had seen my work at an online art site and now wants to screen it at a new arts festival in italy next august! fan-fucken-tastic!

will keep you updated on that.

--

a finn bunny reading my blog just emailed me a link to this viivi & wagner clip. priceless! thanks hun.

( click for a better image )

- "i'll get the candy, you go and choose a movie. pick a classic, will you?"
- "alright."
--
[classics]
- "oh looky, 'deep throat'..."
--
- "what filth is this?"
- "i found it on the classics shelf"

six down, one more to go

finally got my essay done and submitted last night. quite the relief to be honest. this one had been stressing me more than the average assignment. not sure why. mebbe the lack of inspiration.

to celebrate i went and bought the most screaming bright red lipstick i have ever seen. the shade was called 'wild flame' but i think i'll rename it as 'tomato gone feral'. absolutely fabulous i tell you.

i bet it goes well with a bottle of stolichnaya.

fly my pretties, fly!

my new video is published on my website!

irl bunnies: email me if you are having problems finding my site.

funny mood

hmmm... i'm in a bit funny mood. blame it on the friggen hormones i guess.

i've been sitting indoors in front of my computer for three solid days now. one and a half more to come i suppose. bloody uni work. had to escape a few times and watch a movie.

mmm... escape. that just gave me a flashback. i went shopping with deviant last weekend. we passed through the perfume department at myer and i got him drenched in ck escape. man, that must be the sweetest male smell on this planet. there he was, mind-bogglingly gorgeous in his new shoes, fitted hot army green jumper, dark brown biker leather jacket and smelling like escape. i could have followed him to the end of the world.

oh, sorry abt that bunnies, got a bit carried away there. what was i ranting on abt? oh yeh, funny mood.

see, after too many hrs spent on the essay i just started to lose it and had to step back a bit. so i've also watched a few movies. in fact, just finished watching american history x. and it made me feel funny.

i don't think lonely is the right word. still i'd love to have deviant in my bed right now so that i could snuggle up in his arms and fall asleep forgetting the rest of the world. i wouldn't even need to jump him. the thing is, while going to bed with him is great, it's waking up next to him that rocks my world. and no doubt scares the shit out of me as well.

yeh. as i said, must be bloody hormonal.

researching porn ro(o)ts the brain

bunnies, don't try this at home: licorice, peppermint tea and hard core don't mix well.

urgh.

bloody academic bs. how the fuck did i end up writing about porn again? man, i've got to stop doing this to myself. this is seriously not healthy.

mind you, i did manage to do a new personal record: was able to fit 'perky round breasts', 'large erected penis' and 'cunt' in the first sentence of my essay.

yes. i am very proud of myself.

improvised broadcast media performance

wow.

i just took a cab home from newtown. on the way i was spoiled with a once in a life time radio broadcast interference that built up to what can only be described as a full on contemporary sound art performance.

it started as a news broadcast about papilloma virus, but was quickly cut in with a high pitch ringing tone that started dominating the broadcast. then the speech took over again only be broken by a rhythmic echo cutting in and out and building up to an electric interference overcoming the broadcast.

for the entire duration of the cab drive the sound kept mutating non-stop and the performance grew more and more interesting as the trip went on.

when i got to my place i was tempted just to stay in the cab to see how this play would climax, but i fear i am too poor to keep riding a cab around the city over and over again.

i wish you were there to hear it bunnies, but for now you just have to take my word on it: it was awesome.

project: fit as fuck 2006

rightio. too cold (and too fucken wet!) to run so i have to come up with a plan b:

plan b = gym = fit as fuck 2006

miss pearl is moving into the next suburb and she is just as keen to get fit. also, deviant has been talking abt getting fit once his quit smoking project takes off in a couple of weeks.

now all we need is a good gym that is not too expensive. there is one exactly halfway between me and miss pearl's new love nest (she's moving in with mr. hero in a couple of weeks time).

today's mission is to procrastinate (yehyeh, i should be writing my essay) by going and testing out this new gym. so far it seems very good and it's not overly expensive.

--update:

was pretty good actually.

very clean. nearly empty. all ppl present were drop dead gorgeous muscly as fuck gay men, so i could perv my lil heart out without getting hassled at all.fantastic.

the only minus would be the fact that it's quite clearly a male oriented gym: the equipment doesn't scale too well for a tiny person like me and the weights are adjustable in steps of 10kg instead of the usual 5kg.

weekend retrospective

thank gawd there is only one weekend to a week. i don't think i could handle them more often.

had a great one tho. deviant's mum flew over from nz for a week and his lil bro (let's call him citronella, shall we?) drove up from canberra.

friday was just a quiet one. deviant cooked a fantastic dinner and we spent the entire night just catching up with his mum as well as watching telly with the flatties.

saturday night was a big one. i saw the dudesons on local telly(!) and suddenly felt this overwhelming craving for vodka. so instead of the usual bottle of wine, i got a big bottle of finlandia with a 6pack of red bulls. oh the nostalgy.

it all got pretty messy and i think the climax of the night was jesus and citronella getting kicked out of every pub from coogee to oxford st. citronella gotten abandoned in some gay bar with no money on him and some guy feeling sorry for him and giving him $50 to get a cab home. funny as fuck.

on sunday morning, deviant cooked a feast of a brekky while i fetched coffees from the nearby cafe. accidentally served his mum with the experience of her first take-away coffee out of a styrofoam cup. she seemed quite impressed (and rated the coffee way over the one we got at a cafe by the clovelly beach later on). then we did the bronte to coogee walk along the beach and took some cool as fuck photos at the clovelly graveyard.

later on we fixed poor lil citronella who was more than a little under the weather. rough night i tell you. to finish off a good night we did a dinner in this beautiful lil italian restaurant.

deviant's car has only two seats so on our way back to his place, he and his mum took the seats and i sat in the little space between the seats with my legs on the middle console. quite funny.

sometimes it's a good thing to be a tiny lil pocket venus.

odd times

i've been feeling slightly volatile lately. not entirely sure what i should do about it. trying to calm myself down atm, but at the same time i am aware of the fact that it requires someone else's input for me to be able to pull it off... let's see.

at the same time i've been very happy. spoiled rotten and rooted brainless. so i guess i can't really complain?

anyhoo bunnies, get your hands on garden state ost and crank out frou frou - let go

when in doubt, bitch to your trusted friends.

"when, if not now? who, if not you?"

- winston churchill

thanks for that miss s.

zach braff rok

i love this movie. i've seen it a few times already, but every time it's just as refreshing and heart warming: garden state

andrew largeman: let's just talk about good stuff.
sam: good stuff?
andrew largeman: yeah. glass half full shit. what do you got?
sam: i got a little buzz. i got that.
[laughs]
sam: what you got?
andrew largeman: i got a little buzz going
[pauses]
andrew largeman: and i like you.
[sam, embarassed, giggles]
andrew largeman: so there's that. i guess i have that.

moments from the past

there are some things that seem to be universal. like the annoyment towards nature's little creatures when they decide to cheer up your day but have the worst possible timing.

here's two encounters, about 10 years and ~15,000 km apart:

easter camping trip with deviant's family.

it had been a BIG night. everyone around the campfire was absolutely off their titts. you know, the usual stuff: i suffered a slight concussion due to a portable camping chair insident, devian't lil bro mistook citronella oil for cooking oil while setting up the bbq [insert here quite the impressive bonfire] and deviant set his stepmum on fire while solving the citronella insident. so it was all good fun with pointing and laughing aplenty.

after marinading himself in a very impressive amount of alcohol and other substances, poor lil deviant had passed out by the campfire. at which stage the lil siblings had decided that it would in fact be a great idea to turn him into a living bush.

i was already sleeping at the back of the ute at this point. i woke up to the back hatch slamming open and this borderline conscious 'bush' crawling in and passing out next to me. quite amusing i tell you.

fast forward to next morning.

i wake up, slightly hungover, but considering the amounts of alcohol consumed the previous night, i was counting myself incredibly lucky to be in such a good shape.

i opened the back hatch carefully to get some fresh air in the back of the car. i was entertained by watching the wallabies wandering around our camp, when a magpie lands right behind our car and starts its horrendous serenade.

after a tune or few the dead mass next to me suddenly came alive, lifted its bushy head facing the bird and screamed: 'PISS OFF!!!'.

i nearly pissed myself pointing and laughing.

see, about ten years prior, i had witnessed a disturbingly similar event:

it was a beautiful day, lunchtime, early in the summer. sun was shining, birds were singing and nothing breaking the serenity of the perfect laid back sunday.

i was sitting in the backyard with my mum, enjoying the warming rays of the sun and i don't think anyone had even said a word for a few hours or so. we're both too relaxed to even read the books we had brought out with us and instead ended up entertaining ourselves by watching the cat hunting butterflies in mum's flower bench.

suddenly, the neighbour's upstairs window flew open with a loud SLAM. an overweight, hairy, bearded ugly old man appeared at the window. he directed a homicidal glare towards the little birds singing in the nearby tree and screamed: 'TSIRP, TSIRP, PERRRRRKELE!!!' (aussie equivalent would prolly be 'TWEET, TWEET, YA FUCKEN CUNT!!!')

just as quickly as the phenomenon appeared, the window slammed shut again and left behind a complete silence. the poor birds were too busy shitting themselves to tweet another tune.

we stared at the window in stunned silence, then glanced at each other and cracked up uncontrollably. it's no exaggeration if i say that we were pissing ourselves laughing for the following 20 mins or so.

ah, the wonders of nature.

bloke·a·hol·ic

adj.

1. related to or resulting from the combination of spending time with male friends and consuming large quantities of alcohol while viewing sport events on television.
2. containing or preserved in a juvenile state, also known as lack of backbone and/or refusal to grow up.
3. suffering from bloke-a-holism.

n.

a person who is compulsively drawn to blokey behaviour ie. excess alcohol consumption, television broadcasts of major sport events and the ever-present company of the dedicated 'manfriend'.

purrrr-fect

you know, as much as i hate the winter and the cold weather, it's not all bad. see, snuggles rock my lil world.

most of the year in sydney is just simply too hot to snuggle at night. hot and sweaty can be all good while steamy action, but when you need to sleep it just does not work.

nothing in the world compares to snuggling up under a doona to escape the cold. the crisp air in the room outside the doona and the incredibly cosy body heat of that someone next to you under the doona.

...maybe the reason i've hated sydney during cold weather is that never before have i had the chance to wrap myself around such a yummy heater before?

to a chick with too much balls for my own good, it's an unexpected luxury to feel like something tiny and fragile being protected by someone big and strong.

maybe this winter will be good after all...

impressed

wow. the boy has truly proven himself worthy!

not only did he book his house telly for the night so that i could watch finland wipe the eurovision floor with sweden (i don't have a telly) but he also showed incredible stamina by sitting through the entire 210mins of the eurovision broadcast with me! such a good boy.

and man did lordi ROK.

today i'm so very proud for the fact that i'm a finn. we rok. iso aika.

HARD - ROCK - HALLELUJAH!

'yeh i knew you were fucked, but i didn't realise the entire country was!'

- mate's comment on our eurovision entry

un-fucken-believable!

(photo from iltasanomat.fi)

finland won the eurovision! holy-fucken-shit! this is the day.

look, non-finn bunnies, you simply cannot comprehend what this means.

see, eurovision, by default, has been this painful annual event which year after year has proved just how badly finland sucks.

in the 51 years that the contest has been held, our best ever outcome has been the 6th place in 1973. otherwise we were always one of the last names on the list. usually the last.

then this year, we decide to fuck it and send this hard rock monster band on fire to athens. and we win!

fucken fantastic!

“you know, we are meat eaters in a vegetarian café,” said mr. lordi when asked how the band feels to be in eurovision.

“kids love us. we look like their toys.”

so yeh, as i already started raving on about finnish music yesterday, here's some more: lordi - hard rock hallelujah

--

abba they ain't: eurovision's new kings (smh.com.au)

fuck finnish music kicks arse

ok bunnies, i'm officially spellbound by this song: apocalyptica feat. ville valo and lauri ylönen - bittersweet

i can't stop listening to it. just so incredibly beautiful.

the song is a collaboration between three great finnish bands: apocalyptica is a band of three (what happened to the fourth? i thought there was four?) classically trained guys playing metal with cellos. ville valo is the singer of him and lauri ylönen the singer of the rasmus.

come on, give it a go. you know you want to...

a little victory in the world of an encumbered art student: i finished my new video.

fly, my pretties, fly!

strangeland

you know those books that you just can't put down? yeh. this was one.

started reading it yesterday. needed something to keep me entertained while waiting for my video exporting attempts to reveal their results. just finished it. well, both: the video and the book.

it is borderline scary how easy it is for me to relate to emin's writing. i mean, don't get me wrong, i am fortunate enough not to have gone through anything even remotely as traumatic as she has. yet still, i can't help but relate to how she thinks and feels.

must be a chick-with-balls thing.

"masculinity, manhood. what makes a man a man? as a woman at the dawn of mid-life, i can confess to having learned, for sure, that i have more testosterone in my right foot than most men have surging in their entire bodies.
you don't have to be born with balls to have balls. there is spunk and there is mental spunk, and it's the latter that gets me up in the mornings, that makes me change my life, that moves the world around.
...
a man should never think with his dick, and as he gets older, he should have learned to control the direction in which his spunk flies. mental as well as physical. there is nothing more unattractive than a man who is sexually weak."

- tracey emin - strangeland

procrastination - part 2

a slight hangover, too much to do and not enough time to do it in. same old story with the same old result: here i am again.

--

i've been very busy and deviant's been very blokey so it has proven challenging to sync our free time lately. luckily we were able to pencil each other in last night.

we picked up the usual (beers for him and white wine for me) on our way to his place and proceeded to consume the lot in record time. i for one got pretty fucken sloshed.

we were just sitting outside and talking about everything. i learned a little bit more about his past as well as revealed a little bit more of mine. i even confessed the existence of this blog to him. 'wow. i'm used to being bagged out, but not quite that publicly...' heh. didn't promise to tell him the address tho. not quite yet.

he had a revelation earlier that day. he had decided to quit smoking. which means that he has to quit drinking alcohol AND coffee as well. naturally this coming from him was quite the shocking statement. and as i stared at him in stunned silence, he added: 'now the problem is that i need to find a new habit to substitute these three old bad ones with. i was thinking about sex. that's always a very efficient distraction... and i was hoping you'd help me with that...'

now if this means that every time he'd have a ciggie, he'll jump me instead - fucken count me in! never before have i seen chainsmoking in such a positive light.

mind you i did promise to punch him in the face if (well, let's be realistic here: when) he gets cranky. he did promise to whack himself out on nicotine patches to take the edge off the withdrawals.

this will surely be an interesting project to witness.

procrastination

frig, here we go again. so much to do, yet once again i rather spend my limited time ranting to you bunnies. *deep sigh*

--

i'm finding it very difficult to concentrate on my uni work. too much shit on my mind. and yes, once again it's people bullshit. well, not just any people - the boy.

deviant. he really is fantastic. but as everyone, he has his faults too. i am not good with faults. not my own any more than other people's.

pet hates. i can't stand forgotten/cancelled plans and i have a very strong aversion to being taken for granted. lack of respect scores very high on the list too. pet hates trigger my reject reflex instantly.

'that's it. i'm done - behind the barn, off you go.'

i told him off for the first time yesterday. mind you, for a reason. the boy scored a special bonus combination of pet hates at one go to boil the kettle over. and there went my hand hovering over the eject button.

however his response was perfect. he listened, he heard and he apologized. and what's most important, he offered to make it better right away. and he did. he did everything just right. he was wonderful and won me over again. let's see.

i can't help it. i've tried my best and have done great so far. however, now i'm slowly starting to freak out. i guess spending time with him has reached that first critical point. as much as i hate defining things, time is starting to define this for us.

this is the time when i usually bolt.

however, i don't think i want to. not this time. deviant really is wonderful. but i don't know if i can stop myself. staying would require being brave. i'm so much better at being safe. safe, cold and distant licking my self-inflicted wounds.

--

now that i met you nothing's the same
it's not going to be it ever again
if you stay or walk away
if i'm off or if i'm brave

stina nordenstam - sharon and hope

sometimes it's all around you | sometimes that love surrounds you | and even gone it's with you | tasting of salt | he learned about love the hard way | she learned that nothing would stay | they knew all about love and nothing | sharon and hope | she says i like to kiss you | he says you'd better not | he's on the brink of loving | she's on the brink of falling | maybe a month in spain could do it for you | or a fridge of cocaine could do it | those are not ways to do it | for sharon and hope | now that i met you nothing's the same | it's not going to be it ever again | if you stay or walk away | if i'm off or if i'm brave | sometimes it's all around you | sometimes that love surrounds you | we have it if we want to | me sharon you hope.

performances, white wine and a sore arse

hmmm... bunnies, i think i have discovered yet another rule when it comes to contemporary art.

you might already be aware of my 3 minute rule when it comes to video art? see, i hate video art. naturally i also identify myself as a video artist. but the way i see it, there has to be a pretty fucken good reason for a video work exceed 3 minutes. long video works shit me to no end.

of course this only includes videos that are screened on a reel that you have to sit through from beginning to the end. looping video installations and duration pieces are a whole different breed and do not fall under this thumb rule.

--

the new rule? well, last night i went to see audio performances. again, the length was a killer. especially since i was sitting on my arse on friggen concrete floor. owwie.

the first act i found interesting, the second mesmerizing. it was almost as if the sounds he was making were taking form only in my head. it felt like instead of coming out of his instrument, the sound culminated in the centre of my head and reached my ears from inside. freaky i tell you. the last one? meh. started out funny and had good bits, but overall too long. way too long.

but yeh: keep it short unless you can create a trancelike state for the spectator. my arse started hurting after 15-20 mins.

sms

deviant [23:59]: 'i an so sick of these trend oid f...n wan ker f..n d f...n piss weak ...... d j s ... what the f are they thinking... you can do it put your ass in to f them... rant rave rant... etc...'

...

deviant [10:13]: 'please disregard any drunken unintelligible messages.'

tp [10:35]: 'yes. well below par i thought. critical social commentary on the mainstream music genres apparent in the average licensed restaurant around midnight. where's the tits and arse in that? where's the porn? the filth? the excitement? it's just not cricket, mate, it's just not cricket.'

deviant [10:36]: 'well said.'

in other words bunnies: if you are going to send drunken messages in the middle of the night, at least make sure they are sex/porn/filth related and exciting. then there is a slight possibility that you might get away with waking that someone up.

see, there is always time for sex and/or thinking about sex.

however, if you wish to share your opinion on the quality of entertainment in the establisment you have decided to buy your beverages from: save it. if i'm not there, i don't give a fuck and i dare say neither will s/he.

to conclude:
sex = exciting = good.
rant = boring = bad.

any questions?

oh, martha, where art thou?

why is it that sometimes blokes being blokes is so endearing and adorable, yet sometimes it's so fucken frustrating and drives you into homicidal rage? *growl*

sing-a-long bunnies, if you know the tune...

'...you bloody mother fucking asshole | oh you bloody mother fucking asshole | oh you bloody mother fucking asshole | oh you bloody mother fucking asshole | oh you bloody mother fucking asshole | oh you bloody...'

zee goggles do nothing!

step aside frankennipple, here comes the frankentit!

(sorry bunnies, i know, i really didn't want to be exposed to those images either...)

funny shit

ok, i'm freaking out.

just watched the family stone. as a movie? meh. but the cast freaked me out.

why? if you take luke wilson, add 5 inches of height, tone up a fair bit and chisel an inch of width off the jaw, you get deviant. a spitting fucken image i tell you. freaky shit.

as i have made a decision not to post any images of deviant before letting him read the blog, i think luke will have to borrow him a face for now.

uncanny.

priceless moments on the way back to reality

there are a few things in the world that are just priceless. a few things that you often forget to appreciate while they're there, but miss oh-so-much when they're gone.

however i am aware. aware of every second of it.

last night i fell asleep in deviant's beautiful strong arms. there i was, tightly snuggled up to keep the cold away. warm, safe and happy. but what was possibly even better was waking up in the middle of the night to him pulling me even closer in his sleep. i am willing to bet that i slept with a smile on my face.

or in the morning, waking up next to this gorgeous young man, still more than half asleep, snuggling his way closer to me. smile at his adorable growl towards the alarm going off and his feeble attempts to seek solace by pressing his head against my bosom. to watch over those last few minutes of his sleep while cradling that endearing mess of a hair in my arms.

it is a beautiful day.

"i may not have gone where i intended to go, but i think i have ended up where i needed to be."

- douglas adams

whoa! hello! loud noice. very pain!

well, i've been dodging bullets for so long that i should have seen this one coming. yup. all it took was two exhibition openings last night and i scored a 3rd circle: the head wound that won't heal. owwie.

fucken cheap red wine. always a killer.

also, woke up next to deviant this morning, but for some reason there seems to be a complete blank between getting out of a cab at his place and waking up next to him this morning. slightly disconcerting i dare say.

there's some vague memories of taking a cab from opening a to opening b and throwing one mate into the boot cause there was 5 of us. and i think i also agreed to have a collaborative screening night with a mate i hadn't seen for ages. oh. drunken text messaging. there was that too.

mind you, i don't think i was the only drunken one last night. the mate i agreed to have a show with had smssed me last night with: 'aur doob mpr z brrk. kneg foqvb tjaef xjeer.'

clearly.

--

[sms around lunch time]
tp: 'oh dear god please kill me now!'
deviant: 'no. not yet. you deserve to suffer. mercy is for the weak.'

...cunt.

<3

all is well again and martha wainwright can disappear into the thousands of other songs in my itunes library until her services are required again.

i was very educational last night. ended up doing a full on all-nighter arts lecture to deviant. it started innocently from alien loves predator online comic, then showing the photo slideshow that i and dui prepared for the rez ball 2004, moving on to some of my more heavily conceptual videos, introducing the works of erwin wurm and finishing off with inside deep throat documentary followed by the cult classic itself.

i've said it before and i'll say it again, fuck did the girl have a talent! no matter how many times i see it, i'm still as impressed by it.

but the good and important bit is that i'm feeling fantastic again.

random reading

bunnies, i need more blogs to read.
please recommend new good shit!

this morning i tried to find something new to read to go with my morning coffee. as a result, after a serious of random scrolls and clicks i arrived to a page that accidentally answered a question that has crossed my mind a few times before: the glitch between gays and lesbians:

"i have to admit, i feel absolutely no solidarity with lesbians. what do we have in common? well, we’re both homosexual. we both would benefit from a change in the laws. we both would benefit from increased social acceptance. maybe i'm being shallow, but despite that, i just can’t see them as part of the same team."

"i mean, if you think about it, they’re kind of the polar opposite. i am a man, she is a woman. i like men, she likes women. in terms of our “sexuality,” we have NOTHING in common. yet it’s on the subject of sexuality, not on the subject of civil rights, that we’re lumped together."

"...at least with a straight guy i could talk about guy stuff. or with a straight girl, we share a common liking for guys. so, if you were to split up the human population into sexuality categories, gays and lesbians are the least compatible."

- debriefing the boys

alien loves predator

ok. i just got pointed to the funniest online comic: alien loves predator. strongly recommended for the wrong-minded bunnies out there.

must have item of the day:

tell you what bunnies, i really like deborah kelly.

i've been a fan ever since i first came across her 'hey, hetero!' posters during one of my theory classes. these were of course posted all around sydney during the 2001 gay and lesbian mardi gras.

"advertising is everywhere, as familiar as the unconscious multitude of representations of heterosexuality. 'hey, hetero!' hopes to infiltrate the form and language of advertising and invest it with unsettling agency. it's cultural dissidence in a shiny new frock."

deborah kelly, artist/ writer

the must have item? well, i just came across another simple yet brilliant work of hers:

BEWARE OF THE GOD - deborah kelly. limited edition artist multiple by sydney artist deborah kelly created for the mca exhibition interesting times: focus on contemporary australian art.

mount it on your gate; impress your neighbours! scare off uninvited visitors and superstitious burglars!

etched aluminium, enamelled (120mm X 55mm), includes solid brass screws. signed and numbered.

$39.95 (inc gst) >> mca online store

more on graduation

ok, the dust has settled. 'bloody mother fucking asshole' has played on repeat for hours and the homicidal glow in my eyes is slowly starting to dim down a bit.

let's start with the good bits. i already showed you the highlight:

i can tell you bunnies, it was love at first sight. i figured that after i throw on that bloody black tent and the silly hat, the only thing that shows during the catwalk strut, is my heels. mind you my mates were betting on how far down the red carpet i'd get before tripping over. but i pulled it off. which was a bonus.

but naturally there was also a dress:

i found this classic beauty of a wish dress. i dressed it up with the heels, big gold earrings and a chunky gold bangle.

the ceremony itself was quite hilarious. it was like something straight out of harry potter with these fat ppl filling the 'thrones' on stage in their ludicrous outfits straight out of black adder. i couldn't help giggling out loud. then i remembered that i don't look much better in my hat. and i stopped pointing and laughing.

all the graduates got announced by their degree and name and then you had to perform the academic doffing and strutting choreography on the catwalk. quite silly. despite the heels, all i could think of while wearing that black cape and silly hat was 'i look a pillock.'

but yeh, the piece of paper is very perty.

disappointing dumb cunt execution license?

people. *deep sigh* i do hate people.

isn't it funny how no matter how low you set your expectations, people still find a way to disappoint you?

wouldn't it be so much more pleasant if you just had the right to drag them behind the barn and let them out of their misery?

'that's it. i'm done - behind the barn, off you go. come on, be a good boy... nonono, don't give me those puppy dog eyes. too late for that shit now...' [makes gun loading motions] '...i promise this will hurt you more than it will hurt me...'

or to quote a good friend: 'it's not me babe, it's you...'

--

a tune for the day: martha wainwright - bloody mother fucking asshole

'...you bloody mother fucking asshole | oh you bloody mother fucking asshole | oh you bloody mother fucking asshole | oh you bloody mother fucking asshole | oh you bloody mother fucking asshole | oh you bloody...'

graduation

enuff said.

quite the weekend coming up

well bunnies, have you noticed how shit always piles up and everything ends up happening during one weekend? well, i'm both graduating and opening two group exhibitions showing my work this weekend. pretty hectic huh?

my screen printed linda will milk for all she's worth in an old german castle somewhere in the middle of nowhere in north-east germany. i so fucken wish i could go. the venue is an old castle and you can put your tent up in the garden and then just piss up for the entire w/e while watching video art. yeh, in some things europe does in deed rok.

then on saturday there's an exhibition opening right here in sydney. that one i'll piss up alright. which means that i prolly should start inviting irl bunnies to join me. shit. well any irl syd bunnies reading this, do show up. if you don't already know the venue from my endless irl rants, gimme a call. i'll tell you the details.

so yeh, in other words: i do believe i will be rather drunk for the entire w/e. oh also very perty. i bought the hottest new lil black dress for graduation and i've got two pairs of very hot black pumps short listed just waiting for me to make up my mind between them. one pair pointy toe and the other rounded. rounded me thinks. both very high of course. and porn.

the only downside is that uni is starting to get rather hectic at the same time as i have three assignments due within the next few weeks AND i do believe deviant is around for this w/e instead of going fishing.

now you know that whatsmacallsie that hermione used? yeh. that one. i need one of them.

...and deep throat to you all!

i have a reason to believe that harry reems himself has seen my Milking The Cow video work. pretty fucken cool, huh?

apparently a mate of mine has been in email contact with the actor himself recently. i was told that my mate had mentioned my artwork to mr. reems, and that his responce had been amused comment along the lines of 'umm... that's not quite how i remembered it...'

in case the name of this cult figure doesn't quite ring the bell: harry reems is of course the original 9 1/2 inch (as referred to in the film) talent of man meat from the 1972 cult porn classic deep throat.

if you're mind is still drawing a blank, here's something to freshen your memory bunnies:

...and while we're on the subject bunnies, check this out. now *that's* what i call art!

sneak peak: 1.0 Squirty stills

few easter w/e 2006 piccies

footage for the nature of a-muse: 1.0 squirty - eurobodalla national park


backyard view - countryside nsw near canberra


backyard view - countryside nsw near canberra


detail - countryside nsw near canberra

you are the bearer of unconditional things | you held your breath and the door for me | thanks for your patience | you're the best listener that i've ever met | you're my best friend | best friend with benefits | what took me so long? | i've never felt this healthy before | i've never wanted something rational | i am aware now | you've already won me over in spite of me | and don't be alarmed if...