In an attempt to find a less homicidal me

The management team attended our company's 10th bday recently, and on their return this Monday they also delivered a whole load of gossip and anecdotes. I particularly enjoyed the stories about a batshit crazy creative director with *very* limited spoken English and who thought that the answer to everything was yoga.

Nicely timed, I was about to start my first ever yoga class yesterday.

***

I entered the school despite my intense dislike of stinky hippies (I still think someone should tell them the crystals don't work) and ascended the staircase towards the incense and trippy music.

The first thing I see is this drop dead gorgeous bundle of lean muscle approach me with a somewhat stoned smile. He asks me if I was there for the beginners class - tho all I could hear was 'tantric sex' - and I get directed towards the office while praying that the drooling isn't quite as apparent as I feared.

Bunnies, you can't imagine the relief when I heard that he was not our teacher! At least now I had a slight chance of being able to concentrate on what I was doing...

I was early, so I spent about half an hour sitting on the floor mesmerised by the lean muscle and sheer strength at work as the more experienced yoga practicers did their thing at the other end of the room. So beautiful, so impressive, and so often manhandled by the two sex on legs yoga teachers. 

Clearly yoga WAS the answer to everything! 

Monday-itis

Tired as all hell.

Slept really badly due to dumb cunts making a racket on my street and ended up having some fucked up hybrid nightmares.

The worst nightmares are the ones you actually physically feel instead of just dreaming it. Its bizarre how your body can memorise an event and then call upon it in the middle of a nightmare.

I swear my body replayed the insanely bizarre CT scan hot flush perfectly. Only, it wasn't in a hospital environment, but a totally different scene, which made it all even more fucked up. The sensation was so strong it woke me up.

The fact that Monday is bottle collection day doesn't help either. At 5:30am it begins and goes on for eternity. I can tell you that the endless sound of breaking glass is not a pleasant beginning for a week.

Sigh.

A clear case of Monday-itis if I've ever seen one.

***

On a slightly more positive note, I feel sore from yesterday's workout.

It must be a specific sort of masochism, but I just love the feeling of having sore muscles the day after a good workout.

Not so much sore legs, cause its kinda uncomfortable to walk around in heels with stiff legs, but sore core and upper back muscles make me feel like I've done something good for myself.

Oh so much better

I'm such an endorphin junkie. No matter how shit I feel beforehand, a good run or a workout at the gym fixes me every time.

Today I did a 5k run along the water on my way to the gym, and then spent about an hour doing weight training followed by a good stretching session.

I really quite enjoy the Body Program mode in my F55. I always keep forgetting movements and I hate dragging a piece of paper with me. The fact that the program is inbuilt to my heart rate monitor makes is so convenient to use and I love the fact that I can edit the program repetition and weight –wise as I go. And next time my lovely little red personal trainer remembers the added weights and I don't have to try to keep up on whether it was 10kg or 12.5kg bar that I used.

Love it.

***

I hate grocery shopping. It's expensive as all hell, you need to deal with a shop loaded full of cunts AND you always forget that one thing.

Lucky I'm the queen of whipping delicious meals out of an empty fridge.

Today's wonder concoction was a delicious couscous thingie with veggies, boiled egg and tuna. So very yummy.

Oh, and shitloads of raw garlic. I'm determined to destroy this bloody cold. I tried killing the germs by marinating myself in alcohol. Plan B is garlic breath galore.

Poor Deviant. Lucky he's fishing.

Too much drama

Grah. This week has been such a waste of time. 

Monday I had the bloody chest pain so I couldn't go to the gym even tho I really wanted to.

Tuesday was spent at the emergency as a surrogate voodoo doll pin cushion. 

Wednesday was recovering from Tuesday's horrors. [insert here shudders]

Thursday went by catching up with a friend as well as catching a fucken flu. 

Friday I was off me titties due to office drinkies.

Saturday I was hung over as all hell.

...now its Sunday and I feel like outside work I haven't achieved anything all week.

I've started the day with repentance exercises such as tidying up the place, making the bed, doing laundry and baking bread. Next on the list is gym. A good ole endorphin rush should do the trick.

Gadget-holics Anonymous

Hello everyone, my name is T.P. and I'm a gadget-holic.

I really can't help it. It must be the inner geek in me, but I just find gadgets totally irresistible. Especially when I can justify that this particular gadget is good for me somehow.

Exercise aid gadgets would be the category I enjoy most. I've got a lovely little new iPod Nano with a Nike+ running system on it, and it makes my morning runs oh so much better.

The Nike+ running system is great, but its not accurate by any means. It's all based on averages and estimates. Great for running, but offers you absolutely nothing in the gym as soon as you step off the treadmill.

My all time favourite gadget would have to be a Polar heart rate monitor. I had a Polar M21 for years and years and it was my trustworthy training partner on every exercise I embarked on.

If I remember correctly it was one of the first - if not the first - Polar models made specifically for weight management and when I first bought it, it did make a major impact on my workout routine and the results really showed. I absolutely luveded it.

Unfortunately my baby broke early last year... I thought it had ran out of batteries, but a new set of batteries would not bring it back. Exercising just hasn't been the same since.

Yesterday, I finally replaced my baby with a perty bright red Polar F55 model.

I didn't see any reason for sticking with a weight management model, since it's not losing kilos I'm after, but improving my level of fitness. F55 is the best one out of the fitness models Polar offers, and therefore contains more goodies than the other models in the series. Much more sophisticated than my old simple M21, it'll take a while for me to learn all the features.

A fantastic aid in weight training, this baby stores a customisable workout program that even comes with a starting recommendation of repetitions and weights based on my gender, age, weight and height. How awesome is that?

I took it for a test run at the gym last night and I love it! On top of the body program, it's got everything that a fitness fanatic might wish for. I can strongly recommend this to any lil fitness bunny out there.

In fact the only thing I see worthy of bitching about is that its not Mac OS X compatible. Shame on you Polar! Shame on you for not keeping up with the times. Bring out OS X versions of the up-link and web-link software and redeem yourself!

Apart from the lack of compatible software I am very impressed with my new training buddy, and I dare say it will be much more cost effective than hiring a personal trainer. Besides, its red. All things red are good. Oh, and also, Polar is a Finnish company. That's always a bonus.

I do love my gadgets.

Back on the horse - in more ways than one

Such a good girl I am. I *finally* dragged my arse back to the gym last night.

It's been way too long since I stopped going and it felt so good being back. Mind you, I could have thought about my approach just a lil bit further. Just like getting back to running by rushing on a quarter of a marathon, I decided to give the cycle classes a go.

There was a few points in the program where my heart rate got so high that I nearly hurled. BUT I did survive the class, even if I had to take it a bit easier at some stages. Felt fantastic as soon as I got home tho.

***

On another front, looks like my sneaky artist friend has finally found a way to force me back into creating work. He's been giving me these insane lectures every time I see him - telling me that I have got to keep doing stuff and get back to my art practice.

I've been able to escape it so far, but now he emailed me informing that he's reserved a screen for me in a 13 screen exhibition he's curating. How could I say no to that?

Well, I'm actually super excited about this and have some new ideas racing in the back of my head already.

I think this will be good.

Will keep you posted bunnies.

***

And last but not least, here's a few piccies from Miss Pearl's wedding. Don't have a good shot of the happy couple yet, but will surely post one as soon as I get my hands on one.

Today I feel like a lazy old cunt

I'm the worst slacker out there.

I haven't been running in the mornings, which I suppose is sorta understandable considering that torrential downpours have been more of a rule than an exception for the last couple of weeks.

While the running may well be tied to the weather, that doesn't give me a reason to skip the gym tho. It shits me to no end, that I'm paying for a gym membership and not using it. How stupid is that?

I signed up for a membership with Deviant quite a few months ago, but haven't really used it that much lately. When he fucked his back up and had to stop going to the gym, I stopped going as well. So slack.

Now I've even got brand new runners and gear, and I'm still not going. The problem is that I could really use the extra energy provided by an active exercise routine.

I think I'm going to make it my mission to attend a class either tomorrow or Friday morning. Need to check out the timetable.

I hate wasting money I could be buying shoes with.

Such a good girl!

It was such a beautiful sunny day outside that waking up sans hangover inspired me to go for a run.

Instead of running the usual 5k lap that I've been doing in the mornings (tho not for the past couple of months - bad girl!) I thought I'd run to the Opera House.

Its a really nice lap and I used to do it all the time early last year. Its a bit longer trip than what I've been running lately, but I figured that additional 3k wouldn't be that bad, right?

Well, of course I was being an idiot and forgot the fact that we've moved 2ks further away from he Opera House. Which therefore contributed an additional 4k extension on the trip.

See 12k is quite the different story than 5k. I definitely felt the difference and thought a few times that I was either going to die or at least hurl my guts out.

Had to walk a bit after every hill or a flight of stairs so Nike+ only showed a little under 11k as the trip length. But I survived it. Now I really should be stretching big time.

Maybe I'll try to do that more often from now on... It should be a little bit easier next time. Right?

magical everyday

its the little luxuries of the everyday that make my sydney existence so magical.

one thing that i just can't get over, is going for an ordinary 8k jog and run around the royal botanical garden to the sydney opera house and back. never mind the flocks of retarded annoying tourists crowding the foot path and slowing you down every now and then. its still the bloody opera house.

i guess you have to be a finn bunny with an ever romantic view of australia to fully relate, but to me, the opera house was always 'it'. it symbolised sydney all those years when it was still a very distant place on top of my 'places to visit' list.

every time i go for my run, it reminds me of how it felt to see the opera house for the first time. it makes me feel like i'm travelling once again, instead of living here.

don't get me wrong bunnies, similar little things could be found anywhere around the world, but one must be inspired to look for them in order to see what's there.

[insert here a heart attack]

less booze, more health health health. fuck. went for a run by the beach with deviant today (no, he refused to run topless). i died. and he just fucken caned on. was not fair.

need longer legs. and a new pair of lungs. also, a new liver wouldn't go a stray...

speaking of business ideas, i can't wait for them to come up with off the counter hot-swap-livers.

a beautiful day

yet another stunning day in sydney and yet another 9km lap behind me.

today's run was even more productive than the average sweating session. i managed to accidentally outline my thesis (exegesis, really) while running.

i have had this sketch in my head for a couple of months already, but it was lacking structure. suddenly, 3/4 of my run done, the starting point revealed itself as clear as daylight and all i could think was how stupid of me it had been not to see it before.

now i have a starting point, an ending (which is actually already written) and i have an idea how to fill the bit in between. then i know how to tie it up with the theory side and most importantly i have finally figured out the one question that has been troubling me so far; 'why?'.

oh and also, i feel like a saint again. today's lap was a lil bit easier than yesterday's even tho at the end of it my calves were making it quite clear that a day of rest in between the workout sessions might have been a good idea.

i think i'll write the beginning of my exegesis now.

cleaning up my conscience

despite the self-proclaimed pair of brass balls, in some things i'm just so endlessly girly.

nothing cleans up a quilty conscience after endless alcohol/candy/fat consumption quite like a long run does. even one 9km lap in a week washes away a bender of several days. (mebbe that's because the more you piss up the harder it is to survive the run?)

anyhoo, once again its a stunning day in sydney and i just got back from my run.

i just can't understand how running can be so bloody effective... just one run is enough to wash off several weeks of self-abuse and render this old battered body into it's former glory. no idea how its possible, but fuck i love it.

deviant has been talking abt running ever since he decided to quit smoking (nearly 5 weeks already). i'd love to run by the beach, so i might try to talk him into running with me. mind you i doubt i'd keep up with him. he's got twice longer legs than i do. even while walking it takes me 2 steps to match one of his. but running by the beach does have it's appeal.

and as a dear long term reader pointed out, running after him would be a perfect carrot to keep on going. ...i wonder if i could get him running topless? such a gorgeous back he has... *ponders*

project: fit as fuck 2006

rightio. too cold (and too fucken wet!) to run so i have to come up with a plan b:

plan b = gym = fit as fuck 2006

miss pearl is moving into the next suburb and she is just as keen to get fit. also, deviant has been talking abt getting fit once his quit smoking project takes off in a couple of weeks.

now all we need is a good gym that is not too expensive. there is one exactly halfway between me and miss pearl's new love nest (she's moving in with mr. hero in a couple of weeks time).

today's mission is to procrastinate (yehyeh, i should be writing my essay) by going and testing out this new gym. so far it seems very good and it's not overly expensive.

--update:

was pretty good actually.

very clean. nearly empty. all ppl present were drop dead gorgeous muscly as fuck gay men, so i could perv my lil heart out without getting hassled at all.fantastic.

the only minus would be the fact that it's quite clearly a male oriented gym: the equipment doesn't scale too well for a tiny person like me and the weights are adjustable in steps of 10kg instead of the usual 5kg.

constructive instead of destructive

well, what used to be an indoors swimming pool is starting to resemble my apartment again. which is good. mind you the drying carpet does still have the stench of a wet dog. but i'm hoping that'll pass soon. real soon.

this weekend has been constructive. first i fixed my apartment, then i've been fixing myself and getting on top of my uni work. i've been cooking delicious food just for myself, done a good run first thing both mornings and finished it off with proper stretchings and i've spent the rest of the time listening to 'healing' relaxing music (amos lee) and a lot of time thinking about my project concept.

in other words, i've been a very good lil chicky. and what's best, i'm feeling really good too. physically and emotionally. i feel happy, healthy and on top of things. it's all good.

deviant is also healing his soul this weekend. he's out fishing with his mates and no doubt having the time of his life. which is good. and even better if he comes back with some fresh fish and cooks dinner for me.

i think i'll type another couple of hundred words to my project proposal and join my mates for a few rounds of lawn bowling in the sun. must enjoy the company of my hottie norwegian friend before she heads back home on tuesday.

a [boring] saint

two days in a row, i've done a 10km run instead of the usual 5km. if i can do ten, i feel like a slacker if i only do five... mind you, i do feel fucken fantastic.

man, i gotta stop this shit soon, or i'm going to turn into an all good, nice and boring lil angel girl. angels like that have nothing juicy to write about, not even mentioning creating from. to be even mildly interesting as an artist, you just can't be all healthy and stabile. fuck that.

"a successful artist has to be either [a] an alcoholic, [b] crazy or [c] gay."

good ole finnish adages just know it all. i think i'll aim for all three, just to be safe...

dun worry bunnies, i should be back in black if i get to helsinki on saturday. there's a very promising piss-up and i'm more than tempted to drag my arse there.

such a good lil girl i am - 24 days to go

the uni gym opened FINALLY today. it's been under renovations since the beginning of the semester and now it opens 3 weeks before the friggen semester finishes. oh well, better be happy abt the fact that it opened at all.

the good news is that the first 2 weeks are for free and i did a full on workout straight away today and will go again tomorrow. i never thought i'd be a gym junkie, but fuck i feel good afterwards.

did a decent load of work today at uni too, so i've really been a good girl today. really. for once. now i feel like a cup of green tea. it's all health health health darling...

time to kick my own fat arse

this is it. i would like to officially launch The (Finnish) Summer 2005 Beach Babe Project as of this moment. in other words i want to be able to wear a set of skimpy bikinis without crying my eyes out on my next visit to finland.

this is the official death penalty to my wobbly bits and a serious public spanking to my sinful cravings. no more candy, no more pad thai (yes, even tho you can't see the tears i can assure you that i'm crying inside) and no more white fluffy bread. no.

it's all health health health from now on darling.

to kick start this good girl regime of mine i did a two hr workout followed by a one hr stretching session today. i even changed my regular office chair into a gym ball. yes, i know, i know: such a good girl i am. tonight i have to talk the boy into helping me too... knowing sunshine he shouldn't be too difficult to talk into following the famous angelina jolie method (*).

oh, and i'm going to cook my famous chicken salad and feast on it for the next few days. for once something healthy is uber-yummy too.

and before you shoot me down bunnies, i know it's pathetic and doomed, but hey... let a girl dream, will ya? i'm sure i'll be crash landing on my own in no time and you all get to point and laugh.

(* = "sex keeps me fit". even the weight watchers acknowledge that 5 minutes of active (no, starfish just won't do it) sex equals to 15 minutes of jogging. and fuck i hate jogging.)

oops, where did that monday go?

dear, oh dear! a whole day without blogging? i musta been a busy girl yesterday!

we viewed all the first project video works in video art yesterday and some of that shit was really good. tho of course some of the stuff was just total scheisse. but hey, that's the way it always goes. hunger3000 kicked arse once again. he is one fucked up guy and i really love his work.

i decided that i needed to go to the gym too. i think it's a good idea to work out all that sexual frustration so that i won't jump my poor date straight away today. one hr of full on working out followed by an hr of method putkisto deep stretching should allow me to behave today.

today? today i need to do the studio art group critique and today is also the sydney theatre day. so if everything goes well, i'll walk out of the studio with shitloads of constructive critique and know exactly what i want to do with my project, go home and doll up, train it to the city, have a perfect date with this shit hot guy, enjoy the dance show and train it home safely.

i hope the show will be really good or i'll scare (and scar) my date for the rest of his life. ...you always have to be careful with the shit hot dates, cause you want to be able to invite them again. all you need is one wanna-be-full-on-out-there-but-really-is-just-a-piece-of-useless-wank art exhibition, to turn an average person off from art exhibitions for the rest of his/hers life.

yet another beautiful day down under...

weather report: sunsunsun, oh glorious sun! i swear, i live out of sunshine. my mood is totally dependant on the weather. if the sun shines, i'm a happy lil girly, if it's cold and rainy, step the fuck out of my way!

today the weather inspired me to be really good. i even went to the gym and did a long walk in the sun afterwards. felt absolutely fantastic!

--

uni news: i was stupid enough to confess to my teacher that i was stuck with my studio arts project. of course his reply was "oh, good. you'll be presenting next week then. now go and come up with an image."

fuckity-fuck. now i'm REALLY stuck.

--

and girly shit: i got a beautiful red rose today. no idea what i've done to deserve it, but it's still kinda cool. it's been a really long time since the last time i got flowers. in fact, can't even remember when that was! almost makes me feel like a girl again.

funny.