sydney - canberra - bodalla - narooma - jervis bay - nowra - kangaroo valley - sydney

tell you what bunnies, i feel like i need another long weekend just to recover from easter weekend.

but i did survive the challenge. in fact, i had a fantastic time. the whole family was great, a lil bit on the nutty side but oh so entertaining. the crew ended up being me and deviant, his father and stepmum, his 21yo bro, 11 & 13 yo sisters and a fourty-something family friend. all fully qualified pissheads (well xcept the girls, but they'll get there for sure. the young one tried to steal my bloody bottle every time i looked away!)

i so bonded with the younger girly. she was *exactly* like my own lil sister. on the first night she sits next to me on the couch and goes: "are your nails real? i wish i had nails like yours..." and we were best pals ever since. she kept my drink full for the rest of the holiday. by the third night i told deviant that i wanted to adopt the lil missy. she was walking around in my sweaters and high heels and sitting on my lap by the camp fire to keep warm. beautiful, lively, smart and funny lil bugger. i told the dad to buy a shotgun. cause this lil missy is going to be bloody gorgeous in a couple of years and nothing short of a shotgun will keep the blokes away.

it has been years and years since i've felt a part of something like that. experiencing a family holiday that is. see having all my family back on the other side of the world kinda makes these public holidays and shit quite the lonely experience for me.

the trip ended up being sydney - canberra - bodalla - narooma - jervis bay - nowra - kangaroo valley - sydney. we stayed at deviant's home farm in canberra for the first two nights and then camped at bodalla for the next two. the camping ground at bodalla was great. it was full of wallabies, possums and kookaburras. and they were tame enough to just come and peak in your tent and just walk/jump through the camp. so adorable i tell you.

the sea was going apeshit, so the men couldn't really fish at all. naturally, they hit the piss instead. which was great. basically the trip was just a full on four day bender with incredible scenery and sight seeing.

see, sydney is great. it must honestly be the most beautiful city in the world (as long as you just ignore the architecture and shit) but countryside new south wales is the shit. honestly fucken incredible. amazing views non-stop. especially along the coast.

oh, as a bonust i got the material for my new video shot, which was great. left my camera at deviant's car so haven't been able to check the images on my comp yet. but they should be good.

i even went for a swim. after a massive night on sunday, i went for a swim with deviant and the 11yo lil sis on monday morning. heals the hangover i tell you. seems to be annual this swimming shit for me: three years and three times.

let's see if i'll get a piccie or two of my own to post in a few days. these pics were stolen from nsw tourism site. bad quality but gives the idea...

*panic*

i was invited to spend easter with deviant's family... [insert here panic no.1]

... and to make matters worse, it's a four day camping trip! [insert here panic no.2]

i mean seriously, bunnies, how am i meant to pull this one off? first of all i need to play the nice girl role for four days in a row while stepping down from my beloved high heels and leaving my hair dryer at home! ME! *points at self vigorously* no heels! no make-up! no girly frilly bits! yeh, i know: i'm fucked.

oh well, hopefully it will at least be warm enough for bikinis...

cow on tour!

join me for a drink bunnies, cause it's time to celebrate!

i just received an email from berlin again. the curator who first happened to come across Milking The Cow online wants to screen the video at two new venues in germany.

he was also very keen on seeing any new work i had done. now i really need to get The Nature of a-Muse: 1.0 Squirty happening a.s.a.p. if i could get it done within the next few weeks i might get it screened in an old german castle!

mind you, i love the idea of having Milking The Cow screened in an old castle. fucken priceless! i just wish i could be there to witness it myself.

'i'm still hot, it just comes in flashes now...'

i must be bloody hormonal or someshit.

see, i watched this useless chick flick this weekend. you know, one of those that you don't really want to admit having watched and that are usually only 'allowed' if you are tied to your seat on a friggen long flight from here to nowhere. yes. i watched just like heaven.

scheisse as such, but i came out of it with two things: i really liked amos lee's colors song (and proceeded to buy his album from itunes music store) and napoleon dynamite (jon heder) did the role of darryl in the movie. and he was hilarious. oh, and the leading guy was kinda hot.

mebbe i should start to worry... my 'drool-able' man has recently shifted from the 'over-intelligent, arrogant dickhead in a pinstripe suit' to a 'miserable, alcoholic, (chain-smoking in case of bernard black) cynical mess of a man'. i don't even want to begin wondering what the fuck that means... i'll just settle into blaming the black books. bernard is just too good to be true.

constructive instead of destructive

well, what used to be an indoors swimming pool is starting to resemble my apartment again. which is good. mind you the drying carpet does still have the stench of a wet dog. but i'm hoping that'll pass soon. real soon.

this weekend has been constructive. first i fixed my apartment, then i've been fixing myself and getting on top of my uni work. i've been cooking delicious food just for myself, done a good run first thing both mornings and finished it off with proper stretchings and i've spent the rest of the time listening to 'healing' relaxing music (amos lee) and a lot of time thinking about my project concept.

in other words, i've been a very good lil chicky. and what's best, i'm feeling really good too. physically and emotionally. i feel happy, healthy and on top of things. it's all good.

deviant is also healing his soul this weekend. he's out fishing with his mates and no doubt having the time of his life. which is good. and even better if he comes back with some fresh fish and cooks dinner for me.

i think i'll type another couple of hundred words to my project proposal and join my mates for a few rounds of lawn bowling in the sun. must enjoy the company of my hottie norwegian friend before she heads back home on tuesday.

what a drama!

grh. my hot water system broke. not a pleasant thing waking up in the morning only to find out that your flat is flooding. like honestly fucken flooding.

where the fuck was noah when i needed him, huh?

oh the nostalgy!

alice cooper - trash 1989 & nirvana - nevermind 1991

fucken priceless. enough said.

on that note tho, i've been introducing deviant to some finnish music. he was making me listen to some evanescence, so i made him listen to nightwish. and since he's a rock/metal boy, i also provided him with some him albums to listen to. he seemed to appreciate both.

he's been influencing my taste in music quite a bit. i've been listening to stuff like dave matthews band, john buttler trio, as well as other acoustic guitar based stuff but also heavier stuff like tool, system of a down, and of course lots of nine inch nails, velcra and rammstein.

the only 'softer' shit that i've been listening to lately is the new scandinavian music group album. it's incredible. mind you i find it borderline scary how terhi's lyrics always seem to hit the spot so well. whenever they come out with a new album, it seems to fit my current life situation spot on. especially tracks ylpeä sydän and valmis have been on my itunes playlist constantly for the past week or so. strongly recommended for any of you finnish speaking bunnies out there.

but you old sentimental cu- *cough* bunnies reading my rants, get your hands on the classic alice cooper and nirvana albums and crank them out as loud as they deserve to be. (sorry neighbours!)

snapping out of it

you know what bunnies?

i am happy.

and i have been too busy being happy to realise it. i've been too busy enjoying every second of it to step back for long enough to see it for what it is. a part of it has to do with who and what i am today. a part of it has to do with where i am. and i dare say a part is also owed to the people i get to share these moments with.

and as the sugar on top, a part of it is due to waking up in the middle of the night to being snuggled up closer by someone wonderful.

no need to assign labels. no need for definition whatsoever beyond the fact that i am a very happy little chicky right here, right now in this moment.

now why would i need anything else?

more cyanide and happiness...

[ explosm.net ]

now where did that week go???

mmmm... had an enjoyable weekend with deviant. very laid back, nothing special. just what i needed.

we were planning to go and see v for vendetta in the cinemas on saturday, but after a few fuckups we missed the session. so instead, we ended up heading back to coogee to his mate's place and watching house of wax on telly.

you know those movies that feel like slowly pulling off your fingernails? yeh. it was like that. only worse: it had paris hilton on it. quite the conundrum really: it was painful to watch, but at the same time you really, REALLY wanted to see paris die...

then on sunday we watched the weight of water and the last samurai in an attempt to avoid doing anything productive. worked pretty well actually. the boy made me watch the last samurai and i have to admit that even tho it was quite the cock flick - AND had freak-a-zoid cruise on it - was still a lot better than i expected. so i don't really know if it was a good movie, or if my expectations just were REALLY low.

then on the way to my place on sunday, he took me to another amazingly beautiful spot by the water. made me remember once again why i love sydney. honestly bunnies, there is no place like this. sydney is just incredible.

we had a pub feed at the courty in newtown, but fuck me that place has gone downhill. not worth the trouble anymore. actually, i've been thinking abt newtown. maybe you just develop a certain tolerance towards the dodgyness so that you don't really notice it while you're living there. it seemed like such a nice place a year ago, but now i'm thinking that there's no way i'd ever move back there. too fucken dodgy.

besides all the 'alternative' people kinda tend to shit me. but then again, most of the ppl do. shit me that is.

on track?

you know that things are starting to shape up alright when you start to come up with names for the work. a good title is half the work done.

currently i'm working on a series of 3 video works. it will be building on my previous videos, but i've been inspired to introduce a somewhat phenomenological approach to nature as a new element to my practise.

the nature of a-muse 2006
1.0 squirty
2.0 blowhole
2.5 yet to be named

(working titles as this stage)

i will be ranting on more about this as soon as i have something more concrete to tell.

cyanide and happiness

one of the best online comics i've ever seen. strongly recommended for you delightfully wrong-minded bunnies: cyanide and happiness

other favourites would be chopping block and sinfest (a bit of a hit and miss, but the occasional hit makes up for the misses)

the art of watching (after vermeer) — thorpe's foot, pittman's knee, bradman's house and schwensen's arse.

heh. i was a good girl and went for my 9km run again today. (deviant's away fishing for the weekend so i'm forced to seek alternative solutions to deal with the sexual frustration.)

when i got back there was a message from sunshine on my voicemail: "hey peaches, that crazy lecturer of yours is on telly. he's doing a performance piece watching every second of the commonwealth games in melbourne."

so of course i had to news.google to find out more:

"ready, tv set, go: tony schwensen in front of the portable office at the acca where he will try to watch the full games telecast."

"he says he will be recording the amount of advertising during the broadcasts. "it's great … an elite sports event is used to sell us junk food."

"schwensen says there is a parallel between the preparation involved in artistic practice and the hours of arduous training by athletes. his work has given him a good understanding of both."

"in a performance titled 'is shane warne too fat?' schwensen purchased a cricket kit advertised by the famous spin bowler and practised his bowling skills for days."

"i was getting quite accurate," he says. "but it was just against a set of stumps, so there's nothing in front."

- theage.com.au

honestly bunnies, this guy is hilarious. he's one of my favourite lecturers as well as one of my favourite artists. absolutely brilliant.

licking curators ass 2005

'by ondrej brody & kristofer paetau within the experimental exhibition format extra features series (1), curated by jan van woensel who invited us to do a surprise intervention in this exhibition / decor / documentary project at the higher institute for fine arts, antwerp, belgium.'

>> read more
>> watch the video

[via happyfamousartists]

weekend retrospective

wow. that was some weekend. three day bender of good times and perty meat.

on thursday special k invited me out for the gin'n tonic night that seems to be becoming somewhat of a tradition. i dragged deviant along with me, since the boy appreciates the good things in life just as i do. (in this case the good thing naturally being free alcohol as you got two free gt drink tokens as you walked into the bar)

phoenix was already there when we arrived while dui and the rest of the crew rocked up a lil while later. the sweet thing was that none of them drank gin. heh. suddenly we had a whole friggen table filled with drinkies and of course we did our best to get through them as well. i can tell you bunnies, it was all good.

--

on friday deviant invited me over to his mate jesus the carpenter's place for dinner as he was cooking mahi mahi again.

i rocked up around 8pm and all the boys are already off their friggen tits. but i caught up quickly with the yummy white i brought with me. oh so delicious. both food and the chef that is. (nothing's sexier than a guy that can really cook!)

--

on saturday deviant's lil bro came over to sydney for a couple of days. so naturally the boys are back on the piss by 3pm. i wasn't planning to stay there for the second night, but the lil bro was good value as were the other boys, and it ends up being a very entertaining laid back saturday.

heh. i also appreciated the service very much as deviant jumped me every time jesus and the lil bro went out for another beer run. *sigh* he's such a good boy that one.

at the end of the night as the boys go for the last booze run, only jesus comes back after a few hrs. deviant's lil bro had gone on the prowl for some meat. the bad thing was that he had devian't house keys. we walked through coogee to see if we could spot him but the place was packed so it was impossible.

i managed to break into deviant's house through a tiny ventilation window so it was all good in the end.

--

on sunday we go to jesus' place at 11:30am and there's no one there. deviant calls the boys only to find out that they're already at the friggen pub! he is quite keen on telling his brother off abt the key issue, so we march there to meet them. eleven-fucken-thirty am and there the boys are already sitting around a bloody jug. hard core i tell you.

we quickly find out that the lil brother's night had been a success. apparently some 35 yo blonde had picked him up from the dance floor and 'had her way with him'. heh. since he's only 21 himself, he was very impressed by the fact that he was taken advantage of.

seeing the lil bro's happy grin made it impossible for deviant to be angry with him. it had clearly been worth the trouble.

deviant cooked us all a beautiful brekky and we went to the park to play cricket afterwards. of course i didn't play myself, but i had a great time perving on deviant playing topless. so perty bunnies, oh, so incredibly perty.

yay for scandinavian meat!

my dear norwegian hottie friend (the one in the lil black dress grinding up'n down my leg) came to visit us for a month. she lived here for the year 2004. we picked her up from the airport last night.

this should be good fun. mind you i do fear that my poor lil liver will divorce me before she's back on the plane. she's trouble this one.

i wanna be...

ok. i confess. i confess. i can't help it. i'm an aging sad cunt and this hits some soft spot that i thought would have hardened up ages ago. but no.

youth group's forever young remake really did it for me. it was a beautiful day, we were heading to watson's bay for a few drinkies in the sun and they played the track on the radio. i felt a warm nostalgic flush and it made me go 'aaaawwwwww!' thinking back to my teen years. heh. fuck i must be getting old!

i still remember how i danced my first ever slow to the original version with *the* oh-so-cute dj boy. he was gorgeous and i was nervous as hell. i can also remember how it lead to my fragile lil heart getting thrown on the freeway during the rush hr about a week later. heh.

let's dance in style, lets dance for a while | heaven can wait we're only watching the skies | hoping for the best but expecting the worst | are you going to drop the bomb or not? | let us die young or let us live forever | we don't have the power but we never say never | sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip | the music's for the sad men | can you imagine when this race is won | turn our golden faces into the sun | praising our leaders we're getting in tune | the music's played by the mad men | forever young, i want to be forever young | do you really want to live forever, forever and ever

some are like water, some are like the heat | some are a melody and some are the beat | sooner or later they all will be gone | why don't they stay young | it's so hard to get old without a cause | i don't want to perish like a fleeing horse | youth's like diamonds in the sun | and diamonds are forever | so many adventures couldn't happen today | so many songs we forgot to play | so many dreams swinging out of the blue | we let them come true | forever young, i want to be forever young | do you really want to live forever?

i know i will hate this track in a week or two after it's bloody everywhere. but since i don't do broadcast media i might be able to escape for a lil longer.

one stress less?

i've prolly ranted on already how my student visa was running out? well, yesterday i was *finally* able to send off my application to prolong my student visa to cover my honours year. heh. had 4 days left on my current visa at that point.

four-fucken-days.

i can tell you bunnies, those were pretty fucken stressful times.

so now i'm on a bridging visa until i get the result and all i can do is hope that everything goes well. i can stop stressing since the rest is not up to me.

so bring on the goon babe!

heh. this made my morning: scarface in 90 secs. [via]

endearing habits

you know the way some silly lil details remind you of someone? and how those silly lil details are likely to be what you remember these people by after a decade or few passes?

lighters.

deviant is a smoker. i'm not. while i'm not overly impressed by this bad habit of his, pretty much every one smokes so i've leaned to be tolerant towards it.

what i find highly adorable however, is the way deviant *always* leaves a lighter behind at my place. ever since the very first time we met, there has been a lighter of his left behind at my place.

at first it was always on the floor next to my bed. but after the first week or so, it found it's place on one particular shelf on my bookcase. the lighter itself changes nearly every visit. but there is always a lighter.

first one was a typical bright red bic lighter. it told me that the boy liked his beer. and opened them using his lighter.

today, it's a light orange one. left there to wait for me to see him again. as silly as it is, it makes me smile every time i walk past and notice it.

miss pearl's bday...

...and i believe i was very, VERY drunk...

bad feeling

[previous post deleted]

i am officially an idiot.

low budget parties for poor student cunts

it's been a great weekend for a low budget one. i've had two fantastic nights out and practically spent no money at all.

on fri we went out at newtown with a selection of my work mates. and somehow the boys ended up buying all the drinks. you gotta luv a gentleman. the mario bros were there and while luigi behaved, mario did a very flaming rant on tits. and in this case, on my tits. 'ooh! and they smell like vanilla! i love vanilla!' what is it about poofs and the fascination on titties?

heh. i told luigi that i had to leave early on fri cause i took the train home. he gave me a funny look and then cracked up going: [insert here german accent] 'the train? you took the train home??? oh! i can still remember those student days!' [/german accent] heh. cunt.

and last night i joined the mario bros once more to do the mardi gras. i decided to go with the 80's butchy punk slut look and wore my hideous eagle tank top. none of the dykes had a go tho. the girly long fingernails are always a dead set give away.

didn't end up spending a cent. mind you, i did skip the after party. but the perv was all good and worth it. my feet were too sore from standing on the edges of that bloody milk crate by the time the parade finished anyway. but these guys are great fun. must make sure to drag my arse out with them more often.

looks like today will be a busy one too. i'm meeting muscles at 11 for coffee and we're planning to conquer mca and mebbe catch an early flick afterwards. it's good to catch up with him, since i don't get to spend time with him at uni anymore.

deviant has been out of town and is getting back today. so the plan is to catch up with him later tonight. he's going away for a week starting from monday so i better stock up before he goes.

stress

crazy times.

uni started again. so good seeing at least some of my old uni mates back on the horse again. mind you, i do think that this whole honours year thing is a bit overly masochistic even from me. let's see how shit goes.

the entire week has been very draining as i've had to deal with way too much of byrocratic bs. i won't go into the details or i'll just end up doing the mindless homicidal rant again. and that's no fun.

let's just say that my visa is running out in 11 days and the uni isn't making it easy for me to get it renewed. *cough-cunts-cough*

so yeh, let's hope that lbts won't be relocating to bloody helsinki in a couple of weeks. *crosses fingers*

"...but i thought you said finland had a maudlin quality rendering it unsuitable as a holiday destination." - "yeah i know."

rroarr

back on the trail of finnish sayings that make no sense what so ever:

i do believe that i have a pea about the size of an average water melon, lodged deep up my left nostril. sideways.

fucken hormones. it's annoying to be annoyed with no reason what so ever. thank gawd i don't get the needy shit. i just get homicidal. i think i need chocolate. and a lot of it.

fun-fucken-tastic

last night was great.

deviant showed up at my place wearing a white shirt with jeans and was looking good enough to eat. as a bonus he hadn't had time to shave so the outfit was completed with stubble goodness. incredibly yummy.

the restaurant was good, the company was very entertaining and the food was great. i was so stuffed after the fourth course that i had to skip the fifth entirely and concentrate on drinkies. i do believe we got rather intoxicated and had a good time.

mind you, i think we had the whole date roles a bit reversed tho...

[we were walking to the restaurant, i only had the address of the place but didn't know exactly where it was.]
tp: 'ok, it should be somewhere around here, but i'm not exactly sure where...'
deviant: 'hey great idea, let's walk up and down this street ten times without finding the place instead of asking for directions'
tp: 'OI! i resent that! that's *MY* line!'

[later on in the restaurant deviant is giving me shit about our brat pitt -lookalike waiter being slow]
tp: 'oh shush. just drink your beer and look pretty!'
deviant: 'OI! i resent that! that's *MY* line!'

i'm hoping to get my hands on some pics from the evening and post them up soon... should i ask for deviant's permission tho? i haven't told him about my blog yet. mebbe i should. what do you think bunnies?

TROPFEST 2006

UNI BUNNIES ATTENTION!
any of you planning to head to tropfest
drop me a mail.

let's rock up after lunch time
and camp up for the whole day.
yesyes!

back on the horse!

wrap up your livers bunnies, cause it's going to be a big one.

today is miss pearl's bday and we're having a massive (and no doubt rather liquid) dinner out to celebrate it. the crew as far as i know is 100% professional alcoholics and/or otherwise not necessarily so mentally healthy people. in other words it's going to be a ball!

the scary part is that i'm dragging deviant out with me for the first time. see, we haven't really met outside either my or his apartment. heh. so this is pretty much the first date and the poor thing is thrown straight in the deep end.

i told him that i needed 'shit hot meat to take in as my date'. he cracked up and was up for the challenge. even promised to wear a white shirt. mmmmmm... there is just something abt drop dead gorgeous men in white shirts.

'where, oh where, have all the smart people gone?'

'in a recent survey published by the sunday times, girls aged between 15 and 19 were asked which careers they wished to pursue 63% said glamour modelling and 25% lap dancing in comparison to 4% saying lawyer 3% doctor - a shocking upshot of the superficial cult status of today’s airhead celebrity.'

pink, stupid girls, video stream

fooked up.

as far as the mtv pop culture bs goes, pink's stupid girls is almost funny. i quite appreciate the rather direct piss-taking...

being boring?

cheesy retro disco anyone?

now i sit with different faces | in rented rooms and foreign places | all the people i was kissing | some are here and some are missing | in the nineteen-nineties | i never dreamt that i would get to be | the creature that i always meant to be | but i thought in spite of dreams | you’d be sitting somewhere here with me | ’cause we were never being boring | we had too much time to find for ourselves | and we were never being boring | we dressed up and fought, then thought: make amends | and we were never holding back or worried that | time would come to an end | we were always hoping that, looking back | you could always rely on a friend

the evolution of 'tatah!'

you know the way it's the little things that give you direction on where things are going? a good example would be the evolution of goodbyes to indicate where things are upto...

• 'well that was fun... maybe we'll catch up again?'
• 'we should hang around again some day...'
  
• 'see you...'
• 'see you soon...'
• 'i'll see you soon, ok?'
• 'i'm going fishing for the weekend, so i'll see you on monday?'
  

kyllä suomi-poika soittaa osaa!*

photo from misc.fi © antti riikola

(*= the finn boy sure knows how to play)

fucken fantastic night out! i did something entirely out of character and went out alone tonight. i knew that an old mate of mine from helsinki, oded peled, was throwing a gig at candy's apartment. all my mates went to good vibes and i couldn't get anyone to go out with me. so i went alone.

oded played a fucken fantastic gig climaxing with jaydee - plastic dreams. borderline orgastic i tell you. i danced till i was drenched with sweat and my feet were bleeding but fuck me it was amazing. easily the best gig in syd ever.

the funny thing was that as soon as i rocked up, i suddenly found myself dancing with this little group of finns. they were all blonde, blue eyed, fit as fuck and gorgeous as hell. heh.

say what you will bunnies, but finns really do rok.

new fav band: datarock

a mate of mine told me to look em up. and i'm glad that i did. datarock is my new fav band. they rock my socks.

--

met up with deviant again last night. the plan was to do the usual drinkies and giggles night, but we ended up having good d&m's about our past. was quite fascinating actually.

we were sitting outside, he played the guitar and i stared at the hypnotic shadows playing on the wall. the combination proved out to be heavily inspiring and i came up with an idea for a new video.

a good one too. told the idea to deviant and he got excited abt it as well. we ended up brainstorming the video for hrs and it's starting to shape up pretty well.

i think i also managed to come up with the contradicting layer that ties it up with my previous work too... but haven't talked to him abt that yet. heh. but i doubt he'd have anything against it. i reckon this boy has the balls to pull off anything.

while i'm excited abt the new idea, it does have a scary side to it too... in the past, whenever a bloke has appeared in my work, that has meant that they're abt to get ejected from my life. it seems that when ever i seal a part of someone in a work of mine, it's a sign that it's time to move on.

history repeating? only one way to find out i suppose.

time to cut the rug to some quality tunes

i had a drink with sunshine after work the other day. as i was waiting for him to fetch our drinkies, i was flicking through this free magazine someone had left of the table. suddenly i notice that an old mate of mine from helsinki is throwing a gig in syd on saturday. fucken fantastic!

so yeh, looks like saturday says clubbing. must find some irl bunnies to drag out with me...

--

deviant rok.

somehow he seems to come up with new ways of impressing me every time i see him. and i'm not easily impressed. see, i'm the cynical cunt who only get's disappointed with ppl...

i had the worst day in the office yesterday and was walking home cranky as hell. the fact that it was pissing down raining didn't help either. just as i was abt to get homicidal enough to fetch a baseball bat and do the whole bitch on a rampage thing, deviant calls me.

he invites me over to his place for dinner. before i have a chance to do the usual 'oh, i'd love to but i can't eat anything...(*)' he adds that he's got all the ingredients needed for whipping up a delicious dairy free dinner. wow. this guy is good.

not even mentioning that he's also a fantastic cook. so very yummy. the only thing sexier than a guy cooking is a drop dead gorgeous guy cooking and doing dishes. better than strip tease i tell you.

(* = i don't know how long you've been reading my rants bunnies, but during the past yr and a half there's been whining aplenty abt my difficult diet. i'm lactose intolerant. which tends to make my life difficult as fuck outside finland.)

a very good sunday

i tried something new yesterday. something very much out of character. something crazy and experimental. it felt weird and i felt clumsy, but i think i was able to pull it off:

i did something nice to someone else.

yeh i know: crazy. who would've thunk it.

due to a lil bit of a fuck-up, deviant had to do a solid non-stop 5hr drive late sunday night. completely out of character of me: but voluntarily, i put my hand up to join him for company and to keep him awake. even tho it meant that i wasn't going to get to sleep before 2am and that i would only get 4-5 hrs of sleep.

but it was all very good. it gave us a good chance to get to know each other. i was very much entertained, got to see his place and what's best, i got snuggled to sleep.

i purred like a kitten.

'sex romps can keep you feeling great'

it can help to reduce stress, soothe pain, cure insomnia, lower the risk of a heart attack and, as if that wasn't enough, make your hair shine and your wrinkles vanish.

"forget about jogging round the block or struggling with sit-ups," says the uk national health service patients' helpline, nhs direct. the key for healthy living is, in fact, "a good bout of sexercise".

undertaking "regular romps" will bring a plethora of health rewards, from staying fit and burning calories to combating cancer, says the website.

"orgasms even release painkillers into the bloodstream, helping keep mild illnesses like colds and aches and pains at bay, and produce extra oestrogen and testosterone hormones," the site says.

"these hormones will keep your bones and muscles healthy, leaving you feeling fabulous inside and out."

smh

champers is bad for you

selected quotes:

'DRUKN? is that finnish for FUCK I'M HAMMERED?'

- etherael

[about paris hilton pissing herself in a cab]

'...if STDs could talk, the back of that cab would be like a tourette's convention.'

- the superficial

i've been very much entertained by deviant lately. i've only known him for roughly a week, yet i've seen him four times already. let's see if this develops.

i was a very bad girl on fri. was supposed to go to uni and enrol and shit. but i was WAY too dead from thu night. i couldn't get up before 5pm. i'm telling you bunnies, champers on empty stomach is seriously NOT a good idea. sure i was bubbly and charming all night, but not so much the following day.

i sure hope i won't be in too much shit over that... *crosses fingers*

oh also, must stop stealing other people's ties.

lame

'der ver zwei peanuts, valking down zer strasse, and von vas assaulted'

there must be something wrong with me but i found that disturbingly amusing. must be the lack of caffeine. pls don't hold it against me bunnies...

one inch more

wow.

now it's final. two of my video works are screened in berlin next week. fucken fantastic. have to admit that it feels pretty fucken speshul to see my own name pop up on the event program.

today, i rok.

now bunnies, wanna join me for a glass of cinzano?

had a third date with deviant and still as intriqued as ever. actually, prolly a lil bit more every time i see him. besides, he smells so very perty. yum.

the weird part is that i have cooled down and cut out all the other boys since deviant showed up in the picture. not sure why...

and i'm grinning like an idiot. heh. seriously cramping down my cranky office look. not good at all.

saw deviant again last night. he came over to watch grosse point blank.

i have to say that the boy was every bit as gorgeous (if not more) as i remembered from thursday. so no, it was not just wine goggles.

let's see if there will be a third date despite my aversion to them...

does my forehead say 'DESPERATE - WILL PUT OUT!' by any chance?

i received four booty calls on friday night. FOUR. all diff blokes. fucked up i tell you. had a backbone tho and said no to all. heh. yay for me!

one of them was deviant tho. was so tempted to invite him over, but i was too tired to be of any use...

then on saturday, i walk up to woollies to do my usual grocery shop. i look like shit, no make-up, nothing. as i'm standing in the queue, this guy starts to talk me up. i thought he was just being friendly, but when i walk out of the store, he's waiting me outside, walks up to me and goes 'i don't mean to sound like a freak or anything... but you seem really nice and i was wondering if you'd like to go for a coffee or something...' i flashed my most charming smile, told him that i was flattered but that i was already involved with someone so it wouln't be fair...

i know it wasn't exactly true... but i don't think i needed any extra trouble.

posting spam again

i received this from dui and i have to admit that i have honestly experienced all 6 circles.

1st Circle: The Ducked Bullet
No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep was deep and all those carbo-loaded beers have gifted you with a week's worth of misplaced energy. During lunch you torture your less fortunate co-workers, bragging about how you can pound booze all night, drink warm gin out of a dirty ashtray for breakfast, and still show up fifteen minutes early for work. You crave a steak sub and a side of gravy fries.


2nd Circle: The Thirsty Mongoloid
No real pain, but something is definitely amiss. You look okay but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. You are definitely dehydrated and after drinking two Gatorades you still feel that way. You feel kinda dumb and you notice the temporary lowering of your IQ has made you more sociable and less concerned with workaday worries. You crave a fruity pancake from IHOP.


3rd Circle: The Head wound That Won't Heal
Slight headache. Stomach is upset. You are definitely not the paradigm of a productive worker. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the warm gin shots you did at your friend's apartment after the bouncer ejected you at 1:45 a.m. Memories of bad behaviour seep in and you cringe with shame. Life would be much, much better if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a meatball sub watching Hogan's Heroes reruns. You've had four cups of coffee, a gallon of water, three iced teas and a diet coke and you haven't peed once.


4th Circle: The Hunchback of Cheap Champagne
You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or you'll punctuate your sentences with vomit. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and reeking of booze. The clothes you put on won't win you any fashion awards and your face looks like a golf green mowed by a blind junkie (ladies, it looks like you applied your make-up with a shotgun). Your eyes are red enough to give your features a lizardish cast and your hair makes your co-workers ask if you're starting up a new wave band. You vaguely remember doing some really dumb and embarrassing things last night and you don’t care. You would murder your favourite bartender for a foot-long Bratwurst smothered with Dijon and fried onions.


5th Circle: Dr. Kevorkian's Dream Date
You don't feel human, you don't even feel like a mammal. Your long morning shower didn't take; no amount of soap could penetrate the coat of sleaze. You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually annoying the employees sitting near you. You're getting drunk from the vodka vapours seeping from every pore. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from the futile attempt to remove the taste of decaying rat. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, your tongue flops in your mouth like a nightmare-plagued wino thrashing around in his cardboard hooch. You'd cry like a baby but that would steal the last few drops of moisture left in your body. Death seems pretty awesome right now. You definitely don't remember who you were with, where you were, what you drank, and why there is a stranger still passed out in your bed.


6th Circle: The Infinite Nut smacker
You wake up on your bathroom floor, your arms death-locked around your porcelain lover. You would vomit but you quite apparently took care of that last night, with none too good of an aim. You turn your head too quickly and smell the funk of 13 packs of cigarettes in your hair. Suddenly you realize you were smoking, but not ultra lights (some sadist handed you a pack of Pall Mall non-filters and you chain-smoked them like it was your full-time job) telling anyone who would listen that smoking filtered cigarettes is like drinking whiskey through a bar rag. You look in the mirror and find the Ready to Rock stamp has migrated from your right hand to your forehead with the help of Jager magic. You try to rehydrate but all you can stand is one cupped handful of brackish tap water. You crawl into the shower and the coldest water fails to revive your nerve endings as you mumble solemn oaths of never, ever letting a single drop of evil alcohol inside your body again. Ever.

If you could remember your behaviour last night you would never step outside your apartment again, but the last thing you recall is accepting your ninth shot offer with the exhortation, "Fuck yes! Let's get this party started!" Everything after that is a black vacuum populated with shifting, vaguely menacing shapes.

Instead of yelling at you for being late, your boss solemnly invites you into his office to ask you if a parent or sibling passed away. Your super sensitive ears pick up low talk among your co-workers about "interventions" and "rehab." The cute girl from accounting you've been flirting with for three months looks at you like you're a leprous hunchback who has come for her organs. You cannot bear to eat, the granola bar from the snack machine sticks in your craw like petrified log jammed in a wood chipper. You curse yourself for not calling in sick because all you can manage to do is sit in your chair and breathe ...very gently.

...now i have | been slightly shy | and i can smell a pinch of hope | to almost have allowed once fingers | to stroke | the fingers i was given to touch with | but careful, careful...

breast implants, drinkies and not enough sleep make caffeine a necessity

i do believe that the light motorcycle left the hands pretty badly.

last night we went to an exhibition opening with miss pearl, kato, special k and miss pearl's ex, the rockstar. we started with cocktails at kuletos, quickly saw the exhibition and did the compulsory champers and then ran back to newtown to do b.y.o. dindin at a nice thai restaurant.

abt half way through the night special k gets the genious idea of hooking me up with a hunky mate of hers. the others give up after the dinner, but we are still up for more entertainment with special k. after a series of smsses and more drinks, we end up to a pub in darlinghurst thirsty for more.

as we walk down to the ladies room, the first thing we see is a chicky with her top hoisted all the way up to her armpits showing off her tits. 'they're fake' she states as soon as she sees us walking in without the slightest attempt to hide her pretties. this results into a long convo abt her implants, where and when she had them done and me, special k and some other chicky poking, squeezing and feeling the pretty perky b-cups out of curiosity.

this made me think that maybe all the stereotypical male fantasies about female toilets and girls' locker rooms might not be that far fetched after all.

anyway bunnies, if you are interested in getting a flawless pretty pair of breast implants in sydney for abt $9000 i know who to go and see.

then we continued drinking upstairs and special k's mate showed up. she had talked him up all night so i was expecting to be somewhat disappointed.

instead, i see this drop-fucken-dead-gorgeous six-foot-something hunk walk up to our table. and what's best, he had the most beautiful deep voice and a very irresistible borderline shy but cheeky boy-next-door smile with a bit of a rock flavour. i was very much impressed.

i think i shall name him deviant.

this would be the point where the light motorcycle left the hands pretty badly and the drinking got hardcore. once again, the after party was by my pool and i think i got to bed at 5am.

3 hrs of sleep after 11hrs of continuous drinky-drinkies does not render the office at all pleasant. oh well, caffeine makes the world a better place.

today deviant messaged me to ask if i wanted to hang out tonight. had to have a rain check, but let me tell you bunnies: very much looking forward to getting to know this bunny better.

oh, and i know one long term reader will appreciate the fact that deviant is in fact a kiwi...

RIP nam june paik [via]

must - stop - watching

ok. this is not healthy anymore.

see, unfortunately most of the ppl around me have been exposed to bloody lil britain lately as well. i've gotten used to everyone quoting the idiotic one-liners all the time and do the same myself. unfortunately, the reality is that not everyone has seen it. at least not all friggen three seasons of it. so i really, REALLY have to stop quoting it all the time.

heh. i rocked up at my mate's place on sat night and was buzzing myself through the downstairs door. i expected him to respond, but it was his flatmate.

[bzzzzzzzzzt-bzzt-bzzt-BZZZZZZZZZZZTTT]
- yes?
- 'hi martin, it's linda... '
- ...? [hang-up]
[after realising that my witty line did not go down too well i call my mate's mobile]
- hello hello!
- FUCKEN LET ME IN!

also, the continuous use of phrases like 'i want that one', 'yeah i know', 'i don't like it', 'i look a pillock', 'the computer says no...', 'but i'm a lady!', 'a right kerfuffle' and of course 'eh-eh-ehhhhhh!' have caused a series of odd looks and uncomfortable silences among the normal people at work.

'well, the past is gone, i know that. the future isn't here yet, whatever it's going to be. so, all there is, is this. the present. that's it.'

- don johnston, broken flowers

stove 4 - 0 tp

note to self: must buy a water boiler kettle thing-a-magic. really very soon. running out of small pots to boil water in.

[warning: following text classified as whinge and bitch]
weak fucken pieces of shit they are anyway. pots these days. i mean, a pot is meant to be heated up on the bloody stove, right? then why the fuck does a lil thing like forgetting it on full heat for a lil while... like an hour (well, a few at most, not more than that!) burn it useless?

and how many fucken pots do i need to go through before i learn? four down, one more to go.
[/whinge and bitch]

'i look a pillock.'

broadcast media bad?

ooh, blame it on the unhealthy amounts of alcohol consumed lately, but i've just had yet another revelation. wait for it... wait for it! here it comes:

i don't do broadcast media.

no telly, no radio. nonono. i just realised that the reason why is that it does not operate on my terms.

movies, tv-shows, the lot. i want the good stuff, when i want it and with no additives pls.

with telly i can't choose when to receive my entertainment and my choises are limited based on what other people like. and everyone knows that other ppl are bloody mindless waste of time and space. as a bonus, with my limited and always unconveniently timed little pieces of entertainment, i'm being force-fed ads in attempt to brainwash me even further. i don't think so.

with radio it's slightly different.

i listen to music non-stop and quite often use it to either alter my mood or reinforce the mood i am in.

where as with radio, i'm rendered into a receiver with no control over the transmission. listening to radio means giving the control over my mood to someone else. by playing tracks that i associate with memories involving certain people, time periods or situations, i can end up on a fully uncontrollable rollercoaster ride going from one end to the other and back again.

meh.

ipod and dvds, please. and yes, i'll have some chips with that too.

sandpaper kisses

i heard this amazing song yesterday and now i can't stop listening to it... it sounds like something straight off a quentin tarantino soundtrack. very bewitching and hypnotic. strongly recommended bunnies.

martina topley bird - sandpaper kisses

sandpaper kisses, papercut bliss
don't know what this is, but it all leads to this:

you're gonna leave her
you have deceived her
just a girl

ooh just a girl with featherweight curls
to expose all she knows you play like tease
just a girl with featherweight curls
to expose all she knows you play like tease

you're gonna leave her
you have deceived her
just a girl

i want the soul of something simple to
take home with me
the world as someplace simple it's my
home you see

you're gonna leave her
you have deceived her
just a girl, a blood red pearl

good times

tell you something funny bunnies...

i was supposed to catch up with the frenchman last night over season 3 of little britain. well, he seemed to be taking bloody ages at work and just as i was abt to get fed up with waiting, sunshine called me up and invited me out for a few drinkies. and of course, there i went.

we had a fantastic time doing the usual d&m's avec pointing and laughing over way too many drinkies and at some stage we found ourselves travelling towards the cross for some lil britain and more alcohol.

as we're walking towards my place, of course we run into the frenchman who's just making his own way home from the bar. heh. it would have been awkward if it wouldn't have been so damn funny. we stopped to exchange a few words and the boys shook hands while i pointed and laughed. heh.

the following morning i get a phone call from the frenchman inviting me out for brekky which i had to turn down. a few hrs later we end up going for a nice lil cafe brekky with sunshine. and sure as fucken hell the frenchman is sitting a few tables away with his friends, grinning and poking his tongue out at me. once again i crack up inhaling my coffee.

again, we stop over for a lil polite chat and the boys shake hands. i set up a date with the frenchman for tonight to watch the lil britain and then go and see sunshine off before walking home laughing my arse off.

sometime's life's just too fucken funny to take seriously.

i've had the bestest of times lately and there's been entertainment aplenty. what more can you ask for really?

posting spam again

i found some of these mildly amusing. blame it on the lack of caffeine, but i'm posting them for you bunnies too...

--

DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

• 40-ish = 49.
• adventurous = slept with everyone.
• athletic = no breasts
• average looking = moooo.
• beautiful = pathological liar.
• emotionally secure = on medication.
• feminist = fat
• free spirit = junkie
• friendship first = former slut.
• new-age = body hair in the wrong places.
• old-fashioned = no bjs.
• open-minded = desperate
• outgoing = loud and embarrassing.
• professional = bitch
• voluptuous = very fat
• hugh frame = hugely fat
• wants soul mate = stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

• yes = no
• no = yes
• maybe = no
• we need = i want
• i am sorry - you'll be sorry
• we need to talk = you're in trouble
• sure, go ahead = you better not
• do what you want = you will pay for this later
• i am not upset = of course, i am upset, you moron!
• you're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

• i am hungry = i am hungry
• i am sleepy = i am sleepy
• i am tired = i am tired
• nice dress = nice cleavage!
• i love you = let's have sex now
• i am bored = do you want to have sex?
• may i have this dance? = i'd like to have sex with you.
• can i call you sometime? = i'd like to have sex with you.
• do you want to go to a movie? = i'd like to have sex with you.
• can i take you out to dinner? = i'd like to have sex with you.
• i don't think those shoes go with that outfit - i'm gay

meh. australia day

day off, but since i'm paid by the hr it just meant that i need to work on friday instead. so no, not a big fan this year.

i'm not going to big day out, but i did get an invitation to a rather promising australia j party. bbq and piss all day long - the real australian way of spending the day. so i better doll up, pick up some meat and goon on my way and head to my mate's place.

--

social life has been quite entertaining lately. i've met a lot of new people as well as caught up with my old mates. heaps of drinkies and good times i tell you. the new people are quite interesting and entertaining, but nothing to write home about just yet.

--

ooh! nearly forgot: i finally updated my webcam and now my baby does good quality clear image and FINALLY has a mic in it.

so bunnies i know irl: email/msn me to swap skype usernames!

HAPPINESS, n. an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

INTIMACY, n. a relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.

MINE, adj. belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.

MISFORTUNE, n. the kind of fortune that never misses.

MORE, adj. the comparative degree of too much.

PATIENCE, n. a minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

PHILOSOPHY, n. a route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

POLITENESS, n. the most acceptable hypocrisy.

--

useful information about certain nationalities

operation disguise

to hide the embarassing tracks of last friday, i have decided to go under cover as a brunette again. artificial intelligence out of a tube never fails.

spaz

oh dear. looks like my last friday's drunken adventures were documented. unfortunately i bumped into this one on a local clubbing photos site. fuck.

i'm telling you bunnies: off my fucken tits.

--

oh wait, it gets worse. just found another one:

[photos from inthemix]

ACHIEVEMENT, n. the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

check it out bunnies: THE PRESETS

the frenchman sent me one of the tracks a couple of days ago and i have to say that this is the coolest new shit i have come across for ages. they're a new sydney-based band and i dare say they will go apeshit in the near future.

the best i can describe it is depeche mode having a punk-ish euro trash orgy with röyksopp. so unbelievably cool.

the presets - girl and the sea, are you the one? and kitty in the middle rock my lil world atm (scroll down the page to listen to some of the songs and check out the videos too)

i just can't stop listening to them. and the bad thing is that you really need to crank this shit out loud. my neighbours will prolly get me evicted within a week.

give it a go bunnies, they seriously kick arse.

friday cadenza

such a busy lil social butterfly. luvin it.

first the frenchman demands to take me out for a drink and a lil talk. yeh i know, sounded scary, but i decided to go anyway. well surprisingly i ended up having a great time with him. he was doing the whole 'oh come on, you know we should give it another go...' thing, but not in a whiny way. he was being his normal rude, funny and entertaining self and i had a good laugh.

he's alright. if nothing else, i do think we can be good mates. couldn't promise anything else at the moment. but it did remind me of the fun and entertainment he was.

after that, i ran to the city to catch up with dui and his work mates at jackson's on george.

dui and c were being the usual bundle of fun but one of his work mates was as boring as batshit. of course we ended up ditching him. while the poor guy got up to go to the dunny, we ran out. heh. i know, i know. so very rude, but it seemed like a good idea at the time... blame the piss. i know i do.

we had a few more drinkies at the orient and then continued onwards to the cross.

dui's flatmates and friends joined us at candy's and i met up with another new bloke: the half finn biker guy. he was very good fun and entertainment. i had to teach him how to pronounce 'suksi vittuun!' properly since he thought it was the most hilarious insult he had ever heard of (i had posted him the link to swearsaurus so that he could cherish his finnish roots).

we all ended up on the dance floor of candy's and danced our arses off. the music was absolutely fantastic. i had never been there before but will definitely go again.

dui does such a great job in being the 'dedicated male' and keeping the way too keen sleazy fuckwits away from my bum on the dance floor that i could for once enjoy a good dance until i was sweaty like a piggy on the bbq. can't remember the last time i had as much fun clubbing.

after my heels started to make my life a living hell, we decided to go chill out by the water, first down at rushcutter's bay and then continued onwards to my pool.

great night out bunnies, that's all i can say.

retrospective piss-up entry

oops. looks like i've been a very bad lil chicky and forgot to rant on abt all the social bs going on. heh.

i guess i've been preoccupied with the whole berlin shit happening. but yeh. let's hope everything goes well with that.

--

last weekend i ended up doing yet another *massive* piss-up with sunshine. it was supposed to be just a drink or two after work in the city before i joined my mates for the real piss-up of the night. right. naturally we hit the piss really hard with sunshine and at some stage i found myself giggling my arse off in the pool floating around with a bottle of whiskey. heh.

my mates didn't appreciate my disappearance too much. there were a bunch of angry messages on my phone in the morning, most of them starting along the lines of 'ya fucken cunt!...' heh. gotta luv em.

the funny thing was that as we went for a cafe brekky on saturday morning at potts point, we got sprung big time by the frenchman. heh. got the whole 'what the fuck were you doing having brekky with your ex on saturday?' bullshit. hilarious.

then on saturday i went on a semi-date with a new guy, let's call him spandex super hero. he was very funny and good value entertainment-wise. did the live concert at domayne, saw tony oursler at hyde park and then just quiet drinkies at some pub at the rocks.

odd habits

schizoblog and 3kympin kriisi list their weird habits. and since schizo-janne doesn't challenge me, i just have to list mine too:

1. shoes first (oh the shock!)
   when figuring out what to wear, i choose a pair of heels first and then match the rest of my outfit to them.
   
   
2. anally retentive dvds
   i'm pretty anal about my dvd collection being in alphabetical order. the rest of my apartment might at times look like it would have been hosting an orgy for the local secretary students and a high school footy team, but my dvds: straight line, alphabetical, anal.
   
   
3. morning coffee addiction
   i just can't handle a day at the office without my massive triple shot latte. it just doesn't work.
   
   
4. perty toe nails
   must-have-a-pedicure. my toe nails have to be the right length, right shape and perty colour [full stop]. and i can't cut toe nails, they have to be filed down to the right length and shape. i think this one can be traced back to the shoes too...
   
   
5. skin addiction
   i can't help it. i love skin. whenever i have the luxury to sleep next to someone i like, i can't stop running my fingers up and down their skin. preferably up and down a beautifully muscly back. yummy. the good thing is that this seems to be addictive to the receiver too, since after a while they start demanding 'tickles' if for some reason i don't start it automatically. heh.
   

well, why the hell not?

i just read this idea on another blog and it sounded just stupid enough to try: lust, sex and sodomy published his msn address so that ppl can abuse him online. as i am known for taking up idiotic ideas to relieve boredom, i thought i'd give this one a go too.

so here goes: lifebetweentheshoeboxes [at] gmail [dot] com finds me on msn.

be a good bunny, add me and let's whip up a borderline interesting convo.

spotted again

yay! yet another mention on the web. this time my work got picked up by a sydney based art/design site.

holy-fucken-shit

we're living exciting times bunnies.

a few days ago i was delightfully surprised [insert here a visual of a deer in the headlights of an approaching truck] to see milking the cow picked up by an excellent 'bad art' blog that i read daily myself. i do believe i coughed my morning coffee all over the keyboard when i saw my own name pop up. heh.

well since then (xcept for focusing incidents which appeared right after the grad show) my baby has popped up on a few other art related blogs. for some reason the dutch seem to appreciate it a lot. must be all that cock.

well this morning i received an email from friggen berlin that they want to screen milking the cow as a part of a 10 day venue for video art and experimental shorts, happening at the same time as the berlin international film festival. holy-fucken-shit.

pretty cool, huh?

friday's lord henry quote

'romance lives by repetition, and repetition converts an appetite into an art. besides, each time that one loves is the only time one has ever loved. difference of object does not alter singleness of passion. it merely intensifies it. we can have in live but one great experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as possible.'

al·so-ran

1. a horse that does not win, place, or show in a race.
   
   
2. a loser in a competition, as in an election: “had enough support to place him in the middle of the also-rans” (george f. will).
   
   
3. one that has little talent or success: just an also-ran in the art world.

(dictionary.com: alsoran)

i learned this one from miss pearl yesterday and i think it's my new favourite word. it's just bloody brilliant.

'evolution of the muff'

i - need - this - shirt.

weekend confession

heh. it's been a busy weekend.

on saturday i went out to newtown and had a *MASSIVE* night out with sunshine. and massive in this case is no exaggeration. we started out with the traditional tequila shots and it was down hill from that. heh.

sunshine was a bit cranky and shit at first, but he warmed up to his lovely self after the first tequila shot. which was good. we did a white wine soaked dindin at a japanese restaurant, continued by cocktails at kuletos, pool and more drinkies at the courty and then take away drinkies at the front yard couch.

fuck i was sick this morning.

--

the tricky thing was, that special k called me up last night. i got invited out to some weird boat christening party at palm beach. the problem was that the limo left at midday.

there i was, shivering on the bottom of my bath tub, under running water and praying that i'd either die or come together within the next hour or so to be able to go out with special k.

by some miracle i was able to pull myself together and make it to our meeting at midday.

there was this gorgeous young lil french chicky who joined us and we had a private driver taking us there with a nice lil lexus. it was all good bunnies.

the party was alright. it was all rich, old, famous and drunk. we did the drunk part. left the other three to the rest. which they did well. we did the oysters and champagne, looked young and gorgeous and had a ball.

in the end, we ended up sitting on the deck of this 80ft luxury motor yacht, drinking chardy and being entertained by these old filthy rich farts.

which was actually surprisingly fun.

honours year here i come!

awesome.

finally got the letter from uni telling me that my honours proposal was accepted. in other words, my arse is saved and i don't need to exit the country in march when my current student visa would have ran out. *phew*

now i just need to face all the byrocratic bs with my visa, and continuing my student support from finland. grah. i hate that shit.

but hey, any of you other uni bunnies reading this, let me know if i get to enjoy your company this year too!

wow. i actually have a tan instead of the usual fluorecent white pasty scandinavian skin colour of mine. and that happened purely by accident.

who would've thunk it?

soothing

what is it about big bodies of water that makes them so soothing?

i've prolly mentioned this before, but i'm not a beach person. i mean, i'm living in one of *the* beach cities of the world, yet i've only gone swimming in the ocean twise during the past three years.

i just can't stand the crowded public beaches, the sand and most of all the beach people. no thanks.

however, i do love the presense of water. i have water views from my window and i love walking in the parks along the water. plus my jogs along the waterline de-stress me like nothing else.

and if i ever end up drinking too much by accident, i always find myself either sitting under running water in the shower or lying in the bathtub. the water does make you feel just that little bit more human-like. not much, but at that stage even the slightest improvement makes the biggest difference.

lately, i've made a habit out of going for a moonlight swim on the roof. i love seeing the city lights all around me and enjoy the empty calmness of the pool when there's no one else there.

revelation

something happened during the past few weeks. well, a series of scattered conversations really, and not just *a* thing.

loads of d&m conversations with my mates. somehow all these conversations came together into a revelation last night that i just heard myself say out loud in the middle of a yet another conversation.

i realized that there is some personal bs that i haven't for some reason let go. and more importantly, i realized how much it affects my behaviour in the present day.

two years ago, i prepared a pair of shoes for someone. a pair of shoes that were never filled cause they were too big, even for the person they were prepared for. of course i did not see it then. what followed was a very confusing year, when i ended up messing myself up quite a bit with my own expectations and hopes.

no wonder i am having such trouble tolerating other people's expectations now.

i thought i cleared it all out a year ago when i had my last revelation, but i dare say i just got rid of it instead of going through the issue. i know its lame as fuck, but now i can see why there are so many crap chick flicks built around the need of closure.

there was that one conversation that never happened.

since the pair of shoes never got filled in the first place, i seem to have left them on the table waiting for the next poor fucker to come along, when really i should have wiped the table clean. silly me.

today i had a talk with the frenchman. instead of parting our ways with a fight, i tried my best to explain myself. feel a bit better now. hope that he does too. it was good fun for a while, but not what either one of us was really looking for.

last night made me realise that it's not the cock in me that i need from a boyfriend, but the arms around myself. it's easy to share yourself when you're the king of the world, but it takes a lot to show your weakness to someone and even more to ask for help.

no matter how i want to be a cold, selfish scandinavian ice queen cunt, it's not that simple. hate to admit it bunnies, but i might have a heart after all. *sigh* a mere mortal. how boring.

so yeh, how's that for a start of the year?

him touring in australia

i've been seeing the heartagram pop up in quite a few places lately. i've seen a lot of ppl wear heartagram badges and just the other day i saw it tagged onto a wall in newtown.

the heartagram of course is the logo of a finnish rock band him.

the tall, dark and handsome one hinted that he had heard somewhere that him would be doing a gig in sydney some time soon. well of course i didn't believe it. i thought that he was confusing it with some other band. well, i just checked out the tour dates from him's official website and here i stand corrected.

they are indeed doing gigs in:

• brisbane
  (march 22, 2006)
• sydney
  (march 23, 2006)
• melbourne
  (march 26, 2006)

which is needless to say fucken fantastic.

this is a definite must see for two reasons: first of all it will be trippy as fuck to see a finnish band perform in here and for the second reason... well, it's no secret that ville valo, the singer of him just happens to be hot as fuck.

catching up and pissing up

dinner avec drinkies is never a bad way to spend a night. even if i feel slightly fragile atm. (mebbe more dinner and less drinkies might produce a less wobbly morning)

yesterday, i was bored at home, all lost in the seductive and corruptive words of my new best friend lord henry, when sunshine invited me out for dinner.fuck lord henry, this was real life entertainment.

after the usual few kms of ' where the fuck shall we eat?' walk, we ended up going to one of the locals in the city, had great thai feed and followed it with quite a few drinkies. it was all good.

at one stage i did go off at sunshine tho. and i dare say not at all without a reason. but he said he was sorry, corrected his behaviour and he's back in the good books.

we ended up having a very good talk and he made me feel a lot better. it's funny really. when ever i seem to be feeling a lil lost, he seems to be very good at shaking me out of it just by being there. sometimes you just need that solid safe rock to stop the shaking.

i've said it before and i'll say it again: i do hold my fuckwits dear even after i'm done with them and this one especially can be truly wonderful.

holidays schmolidays

meh. i guess i just can't do this whole sitting on my arse thing. i just feel fucken useless.

i've spent the last few days pissing up, reading books and watching movies. wow. now there's something to write home abt.

--

well, actually, the two pissing up gigs were great. both with the same old crew that i've missed like hell. dui, phoenix and the crowd. first on friday, we had dui's house warming party up on their roof. i dare say we all got utterly trashed. which was fantastic.

then on sat we welcomed the new year right on my backyard at darling point. naturally the boys show up a few hrs late due to the horrific hangover from the previous night. but, they make up for it by wheeling in a shopping cart full of alcohol. now you just gotta luv these guys.

we camped out by the water all night and half of the crazy fuckwits went swimming too. the most fucked up of them all naturally phoenix who (already has a long history of skinny dipping) dived down the 2m drop off the ledge during the midnight fireworks ('oh dear... what is that young man doing? he isn't... is he? oh dear god!') and ended up doing bright white 'full moons' for the audience. then he just popped up and down like a cork with a drink in his hand.

funny as fuck.

--

lord henry is proving out to be excellent entertainment and an endless source of good quality quotes.

'(wo)men, as some witty frenchman once put it, inspire us with the desire to do masterpieces, and always prevent us from carrying them out.'

--

as for the movies, i've watched: broken flowers, team america, in her shoes, shop girl, eddie murphy: raw, the origins of the davinci code, collateral, i [heart] huckabees, whole first season of little britain*... ('i want that one!')

in other words all the flicks that i for some reason haven't had the time to watch earlier on this year (or didn't see worth the movie ticket price). still on the list for the next few days: the aviator, 40 year old virgin, bewitched, the skeleton key, wedding crashers, mr and mrs smith...

(* watching an entire season of the little britain suddenly deciphered a large portion of the sunshine humour that always seemed a lil odd to me. funny that.

i was always wondering why he was screaming 'but i'm a lady!' when ever i tried to ask him to do something. that crazy fuck.)

quoting

' i never approve, of disapprove, of anything now. it is an absurd attitude to take towards life. we are not sent into the world to air out moral predjudices. i never take any notice to what common people say, and i never interfere with what charming people do. if a personality fascinates me, whatever mode of expression that personality selects is absolutely delightful to me.'

'the real drawback of marriage is that it makes one unselfish. and unselfish people are colourless. they lack individuality.'

- oscar wilde - the picture of dorian gray

UPDATE: challenged

maurelita challenged me to reveal my shoeboxes.

50 pairs of shoes*:

• 40 pairs of high heels
• 33 pairs of stiletto heels
• 17 pairs that i wear almost weekly
  
• 15 pairs of black shoes
  
• 7 pairs of red shoes
  
• 6 pairs of classic pumps
• 6 pairs of wedges
• 5 pairs of sneakers
• 5 pairs of thongs
• 5 pairs of 40's style classic lady pumps
• 1 pair of cfm** boots
• 1 pair that is not uncomfortable/painful to wear (=my dear runners)

r.i.p. 7 pairs that i have trashed beyond repair.

(* this is only the shoes that i have with me here in sydney.

when i arrived here 3 yrs ago i had 3 pairs of shoes with me. the rest have accumulated since. there is also a secondary collection in finland, but that is hardly up to date and most likely assimilated into my mum's shoe collection by now...)

(** cfm boots = come fuck me boots)

wow. nice start for a new year...

SYDNEY WEATHER

sunday fire weather warning for extreme fire danger. the nsw minister for emergency services has totally banned the lighting of fires until midnight sunday. very hot. dry and mostly sunny. some cloud late in the day. freshening northwest winds before a strong, squally southerly change late evening. current temperature: 44 C forecast max: 41 C