got glue?

tell you what bunnies, its a bizarre feeling not to stress.

the entire year so far has been just stressing with handing in one assignment after another and all the stress finally building up to the superstress of handing in my thesis*. in fact, that's pretty much been the story for the past four years. its kinda scary to face the end of my studies. what if i don't want to?

it feels like the precious stress - that i share such a strong love/hate relationship with - is the glue that keeps me together and operating. its the painful force that keeps the masochist going and being productive 24-7. i was kinda used to it... now i feel a lil bit alone.

after friday, i've just had this weird empty spot where the thesis-stress used to be. you know when in the back of your head there was always that something you needed to get into as soon as you had a moment of free time. now i've got free time and i don't have a clue what to do with it.

i think i need to find a new focus for my creative energy as soon as possible and keep it flowing. i should have a new project to get into as soon as my viva voce** is done. that's the only bit of uni stress left, and i can see myself hanging onto it as if it was the last pair of shoes in my size at a manolo sale.

also, it's looking like i might be facing more big changes than i was expecting, but i don't think i want to rant on about that quite yet. it would be in the 'good scary' category anyway. but more abt that later.

phew. got glue? mebbe i'll just start with a late morning coffee...

--

(* well, exegesis really, but since only someone doing practical honours knows what it is, i've grown tired of explaining the difference and have just decided to start calling it thesis to make my life easier.

** viva voce = 30min honours speach where i present my work to the examiners and defend my thesis)