alien loves predator

ok. i just got pointed to the funniest online comic: alien loves predator. strongly recommended for the wrong-minded bunnies out there.

must have item of the day:

tell you what bunnies, i really like deborah kelly.

i've been a fan ever since i first came across her 'hey, hetero!' posters during one of my theory classes. these were of course posted all around sydney during the 2001 gay and lesbian mardi gras.

"advertising is everywhere, as familiar as the unconscious multitude of representations of heterosexuality. 'hey, hetero!' hopes to infiltrate the form and language of advertising and invest it with unsettling agency. it's cultural dissidence in a shiny new frock."

deborah kelly, artist/ writer

the must have item? well, i just came across another simple yet brilliant work of hers:

BEWARE OF THE GOD - deborah kelly. limited edition artist multiple by sydney artist deborah kelly created for the mca exhibition interesting times: focus on contemporary australian art.

mount it on your gate; impress your neighbours! scare off uninvited visitors and superstitious burglars!

etched aluminium, enamelled (120mm X 55mm), includes solid brass screws. signed and numbered.

$39.95 (inc gst) >> mca online store

more on graduation

ok, the dust has settled. 'bloody mother fucking asshole' has played on repeat for hours and the homicidal glow in my eyes is slowly starting to dim down a bit.

let's start with the good bits. i already showed you the highlight:

i can tell you bunnies, it was love at first sight. i figured that after i throw on that bloody black tent and the silly hat, the only thing that shows during the catwalk strut, is my heels. mind you my mates were betting on how far down the red carpet i'd get before tripping over. but i pulled it off. which was a bonus.

but naturally there was also a dress:

i found this classic beauty of a wish dress. i dressed it up with the heels, big gold earrings and a chunky gold bangle.

the ceremony itself was quite hilarious. it was like something straight out of harry potter with these fat ppl filling the 'thrones' on stage in their ludicrous outfits straight out of black adder. i couldn't help giggling out loud. then i remembered that i don't look much better in my hat. and i stopped pointing and laughing.

all the graduates got announced by their degree and name and then you had to perform the academic doffing and strutting choreography on the catwalk. quite silly. despite the heels, all i could think of while wearing that black cape and silly hat was 'i look a pillock.'

but yeh, the piece of paper is very perty.

disappointing dumb cunt execution license?

people. *deep sigh* i do hate people.

isn't it funny how no matter how low you set your expectations, people still find a way to disappoint you?

wouldn't it be so much more pleasant if you just had the right to drag them behind the barn and let them out of their misery?

'that's it. i'm done - behind the barn, off you go. come on, be a good boy... nonono, don't give me those puppy dog eyes. too late for that shit now...' [makes gun loading motions] '...i promise this will hurt you more than it will hurt me...'

or to quote a good friend: 'it's not me babe, it's you...'

--

a tune for the day: martha wainwright - bloody mother fucking asshole

'...you bloody mother fucking asshole | oh you bloody mother fucking asshole | oh you bloody mother fucking asshole | oh you bloody mother fucking asshole | oh you bloody mother fucking asshole | oh you bloody...'

graduation

enuff said.

quite the weekend coming up

well bunnies, have you noticed how shit always piles up and everything ends up happening during one weekend? well, i'm both graduating and opening two group exhibitions showing my work this weekend. pretty hectic huh?

my screen printed linda will milk for all she's worth in an old german castle somewhere in the middle of nowhere in north-east germany. i so fucken wish i could go. the venue is an old castle and you can put your tent up in the garden and then just piss up for the entire w/e while watching video art. yeh, in some things europe does in deed rok.

then on saturday there's an exhibition opening right here in sydney. that one i'll piss up alright. which means that i prolly should start inviting irl bunnies to join me. shit. well any irl syd bunnies reading this, do show up. if you don't already know the venue from my endless irl rants, gimme a call. i'll tell you the details.

so yeh, in other words: i do believe i will be rather drunk for the entire w/e. oh also very perty. i bought the hottest new lil black dress for graduation and i've got two pairs of very hot black pumps short listed just waiting for me to make up my mind between them. one pair pointy toe and the other rounded. rounded me thinks. both very high of course. and porn.

the only downside is that uni is starting to get rather hectic at the same time as i have three assignments due within the next few weeks AND i do believe deviant is around for this w/e instead of going fishing.

now you know that whatsmacallsie that hermione used? yeh. that one. i need one of them.

...and deep throat to you all!

i have a reason to believe that harry reems himself has seen my Milking The Cow video work. pretty fucken cool, huh?

apparently a mate of mine has been in email contact with the actor himself recently. i was told that my mate had mentioned my artwork to mr. reems, and that his responce had been amused comment along the lines of 'umm... that's not quite how i remembered it...'

in case the name of this cult figure doesn't quite ring the bell: harry reems is of course the original 9 1/2 inch (as referred to in the film) talent of man meat from the 1972 cult porn classic deep throat.

if you're mind is still drawing a blank, here's something to freshen your memory bunnies:

...and while we're on the subject bunnies, check this out. now *that's* what i call art!

sneak peak: 1.0 Squirty stills

few easter w/e 2006 piccies

footage for the nature of a-muse: 1.0 squirty - eurobodalla national park


backyard view - countryside nsw near canberra


backyard view - countryside nsw near canberra


detail - countryside nsw near canberra

you are the bearer of unconditional things | you held your breath and the door for me | thanks for your patience | you're the best listener that i've ever met | you're my best friend | best friend with benefits | what took me so long? | i've never felt this healthy before | i've never wanted something rational | i am aware now | you've already won me over in spite of me | and don't be alarmed if...

sydney - canberra - bodalla - narooma - jervis bay - nowra - kangaroo valley - sydney

tell you what bunnies, i feel like i need another long weekend just to recover from easter weekend.

but i did survive the challenge. in fact, i had a fantastic time. the whole family was great, a lil bit on the nutty side but oh so entertaining. the crew ended up being me and deviant, his father and stepmum, his 21yo bro, 11 & 13 yo sisters and a fourty-something family friend. all fully qualified pissheads (well xcept the girls, but they'll get there for sure. the young one tried to steal my bloody bottle every time i looked away!)

i so bonded with the younger girly. she was *exactly* like my own lil sister. on the first night she sits next to me on the couch and goes: "are your nails real? i wish i had nails like yours..." and we were best pals ever since. she kept my drink full for the rest of the holiday. by the third night i told deviant that i wanted to adopt the lil missy. she was walking around in my sweaters and high heels and sitting on my lap by the camp fire to keep warm. beautiful, lively, smart and funny lil bugger. i told the dad to buy a shotgun. cause this lil missy is going to be bloody gorgeous in a couple of years and nothing short of a shotgun will keep the blokes away.

it has been years and years since i've felt a part of something like that. experiencing a family holiday that is. see having all my family back on the other side of the world kinda makes these public holidays and shit quite the lonely experience for me.

the trip ended up being sydney - canberra - bodalla - narooma - jervis bay - nowra - kangaroo valley - sydney. we stayed at deviant's home farm in canberra for the first two nights and then camped at bodalla for the next two. the camping ground at bodalla was great. it was full of wallabies, possums and kookaburras. and they were tame enough to just come and peak in your tent and just walk/jump through the camp. so adorable i tell you.

the sea was going apeshit, so the men couldn't really fish at all. naturally, they hit the piss instead. which was great. basically the trip was just a full on four day bender with incredible scenery and sight seeing.

see, sydney is great. it must honestly be the most beautiful city in the world (as long as you just ignore the architecture and shit) but countryside new south wales is the shit. honestly fucken incredible. amazing views non-stop. especially along the coast.

oh, as a bonust i got the material for my new video shot, which was great. left my camera at deviant's car so haven't been able to check the images on my comp yet. but they should be good.

i even went for a swim. after a massive night on sunday, i went for a swim with deviant and the 11yo lil sis on monday morning. heals the hangover i tell you. seems to be annual this swimming shit for me: three years and three times.

let's see if i'll get a piccie or two of my own to post in a few days. these pics were stolen from nsw tourism site. bad quality but gives the idea...

*panic*

i was invited to spend easter with deviant's family... [insert here panic no.1]

... and to make matters worse, it's a four day camping trip! [insert here panic no.2]

i mean seriously, bunnies, how am i meant to pull this one off? first of all i need to play the nice girl role for four days in a row while stepping down from my beloved high heels and leaving my hair dryer at home! ME! *points at self vigorously* no heels! no make-up! no girly frilly bits! yeh, i know: i'm fucked.

oh well, hopefully it will at least be warm enough for bikinis...

cow on tour!

join me for a drink bunnies, cause it's time to celebrate!

i just received an email from berlin again. the curator who first happened to come across Milking The Cow online wants to screen the video at two new venues in germany.

he was also very keen on seeing any new work i had done. now i really need to get The Nature of a-Muse: 1.0 Squirty happening a.s.a.p. if i could get it done within the next few weeks i might get it screened in an old german castle!

mind you, i love the idea of having Milking The Cow screened in an old castle. fucken priceless! i just wish i could be there to witness it myself.

'i'm still hot, it just comes in flashes now...'

i must be bloody hormonal or someshit.

see, i watched this useless chick flick this weekend. you know, one of those that you don't really want to admit having watched and that are usually only 'allowed' if you are tied to your seat on a friggen long flight from here to nowhere. yes. i watched just like heaven.

scheisse as such, but i came out of it with two things: i really liked amos lee's colors song (and proceeded to buy his album from itunes music store) and napoleon dynamite (jon heder) did the role of darryl in the movie. and he was hilarious. oh, and the leading guy was kinda hot.

mebbe i should start to worry... my 'drool-able' man has recently shifted from the 'over-intelligent, arrogant dickhead in a pinstripe suit' to a 'miserable, alcoholic, (chain-smoking in case of bernard black) cynical mess of a man'. i don't even want to begin wondering what the fuck that means... i'll just settle into blaming the black books. bernard is just too good to be true.

constructive instead of destructive

well, what used to be an indoors swimming pool is starting to resemble my apartment again. which is good. mind you the drying carpet does still have the stench of a wet dog. but i'm hoping that'll pass soon. real soon.

this weekend has been constructive. first i fixed my apartment, then i've been fixing myself and getting on top of my uni work. i've been cooking delicious food just for myself, done a good run first thing both mornings and finished it off with proper stretchings and i've spent the rest of the time listening to 'healing' relaxing music (amos lee) and a lot of time thinking about my project concept.

in other words, i've been a very good lil chicky. and what's best, i'm feeling really good too. physically and emotionally. i feel happy, healthy and on top of things. it's all good.

deviant is also healing his soul this weekend. he's out fishing with his mates and no doubt having the time of his life. which is good. and even better if he comes back with some fresh fish and cooks dinner for me.

i think i'll type another couple of hundred words to my project proposal and join my mates for a few rounds of lawn bowling in the sun. must enjoy the company of my hottie norwegian friend before she heads back home on tuesday.

what a drama!

grh. my hot water system broke. not a pleasant thing waking up in the morning only to find out that your flat is flooding. like honestly fucken flooding.

where the fuck was noah when i needed him, huh?

oh the nostalgy!

alice cooper - trash 1989 & nirvana - nevermind 1991

fucken priceless. enough said.

on that note tho, i've been introducing deviant to some finnish music. he was making me listen to some evanescence, so i made him listen to nightwish. and since he's a rock/metal boy, i also provided him with some him albums to listen to. he seemed to appreciate both.

he's been influencing my taste in music quite a bit. i've been listening to stuff like dave matthews band, john buttler trio, as well as other acoustic guitar based stuff but also heavier stuff like tool, system of a down, and of course lots of nine inch nails, velcra and rammstein.

the only 'softer' shit that i've been listening to lately is the new scandinavian music group album. it's incredible. mind you i find it borderline scary how terhi's lyrics always seem to hit the spot so well. whenever they come out with a new album, it seems to fit my current life situation spot on. especially tracks ylpeä sydän and valmis have been on my itunes playlist constantly for the past week or so. strongly recommended for any of you finnish speaking bunnies out there.

but you old sentimental cu- *cough* bunnies reading my rants, get your hands on the classic alice cooper and nirvana albums and crank them out as loud as they deserve to be. (sorry neighbours!)

snapping out of it

you know what bunnies?

i am happy.

and i have been too busy being happy to realise it. i've been too busy enjoying every second of it to step back for long enough to see it for what it is. a part of it has to do with who and what i am today. a part of it has to do with where i am. and i dare say a part is also owed to the people i get to share these moments with.

and as the sugar on top, a part of it is due to waking up in the middle of the night to being snuggled up closer by someone wonderful.

no need to assign labels. no need for definition whatsoever beyond the fact that i am a very happy little chicky right here, right now in this moment.

now why would i need anything else?

more cyanide and happiness...

[ explosm.net ]

now where did that week go???

mmmm... had an enjoyable weekend with deviant. very laid back, nothing special. just what i needed.

we were planning to go and see v for vendetta in the cinemas on saturday, but after a few fuckups we missed the session. so instead, we ended up heading back to coogee to his mate's place and watching house of wax on telly.

you know those movies that feel like slowly pulling off your fingernails? yeh. it was like that. only worse: it had paris hilton on it. quite the conundrum really: it was painful to watch, but at the same time you really, REALLY wanted to see paris die...

then on sunday we watched the weight of water and the last samurai in an attempt to avoid doing anything productive. worked pretty well actually. the boy made me watch the last samurai and i have to admit that even tho it was quite the cock flick - AND had freak-a-zoid cruise on it - was still a lot better than i expected. so i don't really know if it was a good movie, or if my expectations just were REALLY low.

then on the way to my place on sunday, he took me to another amazingly beautiful spot by the water. made me remember once again why i love sydney. honestly bunnies, there is no place like this. sydney is just incredible.

we had a pub feed at the courty in newtown, but fuck me that place has gone downhill. not worth the trouble anymore. actually, i've been thinking abt newtown. maybe you just develop a certain tolerance towards the dodgyness so that you don't really notice it while you're living there. it seemed like such a nice place a year ago, but now i'm thinking that there's no way i'd ever move back there. too fucken dodgy.

besides all the 'alternative' people kinda tend to shit me. but then again, most of the ppl do. shit me that is.