random static noise

my mind has been tuned on this weird channel of static noise lately.

almost daily i find myself walking down the street, enjoying the sunshine and smiling while i experience that rush of feeling good and thinking "hang on, i really am living my dream. this is IT."

moments like that make me contemplate life and all this bullshit we go through on daily basis. the most important thing is to live. to live NOW.

today is all you have. yesterday was gone a long time ago and you'll never get it back. tomorrow is still a far away and you might slip in the shower tonight and break your neck before you get there. i see so many people who are either caught in the past or waiting for the future, it makes me sad. specially the few that mean something to me. i wish they snap out of it before they snap.

something in the recent past has been holding me back for a while and i realise that now. it's time to leave that pair of red shoes behind and go shop for a brand new pair with killer stiletto heels.

i have been going through the past two years and specially this year in my mind. a lot has happened yet nothing really has. i have been more successful than ever, yet i don't know if that's enough for me. this year has probably been the happiest of my life, yet i've been sad. how does that work?

this is the longest time i've been single in my life and i do think that it's a valid lesson for me. i feel more independent than i have felt before. i'm happy and complete as such, but i acknowledge the fact that there is more to life than this. i have finished processing all the bullshit from the past and if i was to meet an interesting person i could start something new from a clean table.

the next year is the last year i've planned to spend in sydney so the future has been occupying my thoughts a lot lately. i have no idea what i want to do after i finish my degree. i haven't even decided if i want to stay in sydney or if i wish to move back to finland. it's weird cause (apart from my family and friends) i don't really have anything in finland to go back to, yet at the same time (again apart from my friends) i don't really have anything holding me here either.

i feel rootless. (heh. pun intended.)

maybe it's time to cross off barcelona from my 'Places To Go To List[tm]" and do my masters there?

the weirdest thing is that i've started to think in finnish again. i wonder wtf that is all about? yesterday at work i accidentally bumbed into this chick while i was carrying some magazines and heard myself say "anteeksi!" instead of "i'm sorry". that was pretty fucken trippy since i haven't been using my native language for the past two years.

i wonder if that is some sort of a weird symptom of my mind subconsciously getting ready for the next big step?

"love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."

-woody allen

tunes for tuesday morning

björk - hunter
"if travel is searching
and home what's been found
i'm not stopping

i'm going hunting
i'm the hunter
i'll bring back the goods
but i don't know when

i thought i could organize freedom
how scandinavian of me
you sussed it out didn't you?

you could smell it
so you left me on my own
to complete the mission
now leave it all behind"

hoe hoe hoe...

i had a really good christmas (thanks to lynnie and dave) but it left me fully exhausted.

i got a pair of vinyl devil horns from lynnie and was forced to wear them the whole xmas day instead of the usual xmas party hats. i decided to combine them with a rather lovely princess tiara. it was all good until someone noted that i'm a "rather horny princess". well done spaz.

i got home yesterday and all i could think of was to sleep and then sleep some more. today i had to get up at 7am and i just got home after doing a double shift at work. now all i can think of is sleep. i need sleep. tons of it.

oh, one of the xmas sms' that i received was a rather suprising echo from the past... i wonder what that was all about?

sorry bunnies, i'll try to be more entertaining after i recover from xmas.

--weird cravings update

if would have had some within the past fucken decade, i swear i'd worry i was preggers.

i've been having the weirdest cravings ever lately. i HATE tuna, yet i seem to be crawing it daily and it's the best thing i can think of. and pitted prunes! i mean, who the fuck eats pitted prunes anyway??? i'm starting to worry a bit...

immaculate conception?

fin: paikallisia varpusia

tassa pari kuvaa jotka nappasin joulupaivan juhla-aterian lomassa.

nama siis paikallisia varpusen vastineita (rainbow lorikeet). kyseisella linnulla ilmeisesti kaikki luontoaidin lahjarahat on tuhlattu keisarin uusiin vaatteisiin silla lauluaanta naille lintuparoille ei ole riittanyt sitten alkuunkaan. aivan kasittamattoman kauhean kuuloista raakymista. siina jaa suomalainen harakkaparvi kevyesti toiseksi kun nama sateenkaaritiput kay laulupaalle...

step aside loners, arab strap must be the most depressive music i know.

"arab strap - blood

i wish it was someone elses blood on the jonnie.
it’s in my mouth and under my nails.
i wish i’d woken up in someone elses bed.
wish i was the wind in someone elses sails.

i’ve no-one in particular in mind right now.
it was inevitable we’d end up in the sack.
i should have known you’d want to try again.
but I’m looking forward now
i’m not stepping back.

my last lover’s playing with a new man now.
it’s only three weeks we’ve been apart.
they sat together and he sent her flowers.
well he can fucking keep that fickle disco tart.

’cause i’ve had it up to here with little girls.
she looked ugly today day, smoking her fag.
just like a schoolgirl trying to look grown-up.
now i’m looking for a woman but i’ll settle for a shag."

smart move sunshine

this shit cracked me up when i got home today. for those of you that don't recognize the object itself, it's 4l box of goon in the fridge. i have to admit, the boy has style.

"dear tanja,

i'm sorry i locked
you in the
back-yard.

please don't
murder me while
i'm asleep.

ta.
dan :)"

newtown survival crash course part 1

heh. thanks to my beloved flatmates i had quite an interesting day today.

i was drinking my morning coffee at the backyard catching up with matt and dan just before i had to start getting ready for work. after a while they took off to go and do some xmas shopping and shit. i stayed at the backyard to finish my coffee. abt ten mins after they had left i decided to get my arse into gear and start getting ready.

this is the part when everything goes wrong.

i got up to go inside and have my shower only to find the backdoor locked. dan had taken his keys with him and without thinking locked me into the backyard (the house has double doors for both front and back yard. there's a wooden solid door and a "screen door" which is actually more like an iron bar gate. we keep the gates locked at all times EXCEPT WHEN SOMEONE IS IN THE FUCKEN BACKYARD!). so yeh, i was pretty much fucked. there was no way of opening the door without a key and the only way out of the yard was to climb over the 2m high fence.

all i could do was climb over the back fence and go running up and down king st. to see if i could find the boys. on top of everything else i was wearing my dodgy gym gear cause i had just finished doing my method putkisto excercise. and of course i couldn't find the boys.

i came back after half an hour (oh, i might also add that i had no shoes on and it was a fucken hot day so the black bitumen and hot as hell pavement actually BURNED a bunch of blisters on my feet...). during the next 1,5 hrs i got a counsil worker guy climb over the fence to try and see if he could find a way into the house. of course he couldn't. then i just sat on the front porch for 20 mins homicidal as hell and cursing out loud in a manner that made the people passing by change to the other side of the street.

after a while i just decided that fuck it, if there's will there's a way and i climbed over the fence to the backyard again and ended up squeezing myself in through the metal bars on the window. hurt a bit but what the hell, it worked.

the first thing i did was call the boys and let them know that their death wish was granted.

dan was a good boy and tried to make up by bribing me with two retro milkshake glasses. i reckon it helped a bit since he's still alive... for now.

awwww...

honestly, our house cat must be the most adorable thing in the world.

i was trying to be a good girl and start my morning with an hour of method putkisto (yoga-like deep stretching where you hold a position for several minutes). sure enough during one of the last stretches that i was doing, the kitty climbs on me and falls asleep purring like a lil kitten.

so there it is on my yoga mat, sound asleep yet still purring, so that i had to skip the last couple of stretches. but oh so cute.

counting down the days

ok. i admit it: i am a full on harry potter fan. go ahead, mock all you want, but only if you have read them. anyway, reading this just made my morning:

"harry potter and the half-blood prince, by j.k. rowling, the sixth in the bestselling series, has been scheduled for publication on 16th july, 2005 in the united kingdom, the united states, canada, australia, new zealand and south africa, it was announced today by bloomsbury and scholastic, her british and american publishers. on her website, www.jkrowling.com, j.k. rowling announced last night that she had completed the book and delivered the manuscript to her two english language publishers."

thanks kaarne

garden state

i just saw garden state with my housemates and i have to say that i luveded it.

i thought it was a refreshing combination of indie movie feel and beautiful polished off look. plus i was pissing myself half of the time and i happen to really like both leading actors (zach braff and natalie portman).

so yeh, i'll happily recommend this to you bunnies.

the trailers before the film also added two more must-sees on my list:

1. a very long engagement (imdb)
   (alright, i admit it: it seems like a chick flick, BUT it's directed by jean-pierre jeunet who also did amelie and it has audrey tautou doing the leading role again. hence a must see)
   
2. i heart huckabees (imdb)
   

D - I - S - C - O !

come on bunnies: sing-a-long, i know you can. ottawan - d.i.s.c.o:

"she is d delirious
she is i incredible
she is s superficial
she is c complicated
she is o oh, oh, oh

she is d desirable
she is i irresistible
she is s super sexy
she is c such a cute
she is o oh, oh, oh"

[insert here extremely cheesy disco moves]

--update

if that didn't mentally scar you bad enough, take a look at this: ho ho ho...

what would i do without my friends?

i just received an email from a good friend of mine and once again she made me smile. i have to quote this shit to you bunnies. (even tho i'm no feminist, i do like to mock men when given the chance...)

"for all those men who say, "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". here's an update for you. nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. why? because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage..."

- andy rooney - cbs 60 minutes

thanks pipsu, you just made my day.

back to the old drawing board...

there went my party weekend and now i'd just want to sleep till next week. but no, it's monday morning and what's even better, i need to work 10 hrs today. gah.

alrighty then, better skull down this coffee of mine and get my arse into gear. otherwise i'm getting nowhere today.

playing in the background: jamiroquai - where do we go from here?

bday girly!

"happy birthday tooo meeeee,
happy birthday tooo meeeee,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOO MEEEE-EEEEEE!
happy birthday tooo meeeee."

alright. now that's done so let's not talk abt it anymore. and if anyone asks, it's my '19th' birthday, ok?

warning, following blog entry was created under the influence

alright. it's proven: i'm still not too old to do the around the clock drinkies bender. yay for me!

i rocked up at one of my best friend's xmas party thingie at 2pm and started drinking there. the xmas party bit involved quality white wine, excellent grilled salmon salad, yummy lactose free bday cake (yay for lynnie!), a drunken asian santa feeling up the kiddies inbetween the prezzies and the relationship ball that KNOWS everything (i asked if i was going to get some 5 times during the night and every time the answer was 'break up'... needless to say it was right since i'm blogging atm).

after the xmas party we took the train to the city and went for a quality pub crawl at the rocks where matt, dan and tim joined our merry group of pissheads. then my xmas party friends trained back to north sydney and christy joined us on our house quest to shake our booties. we ended up dancing in chinese laundry and it was great. quality tunes i tell you. on our way home good old oportos delivered the perfect finish for the night. couldn't have been better.

now i'm dead tho. i think i'll sleep till wednesday.

so newtown

you just gotta luv newtown!

i was walking home from the store when i heard a loud racket coming from behind me. i turn around to see where the it was coming from and i see one of the weirdest things ever aproaching me.

'it' was a guy maybe in his mid 40s, tattooed from head to toe with long messy black hair and wearing a black sleeveless ramones t-shirt. all normal so far, but what made it so fucked up was that he was racing down the sidewalk full speed on an electric wheelchair with a boom box blasting out loud strapped on the back of the thingie. to finish up the look he was also skulling down a beer as he crossed the road without stopping at the red lights.

i cracked up and he pretty much made my day.

my prayers have been answered!

tonight i walked home from work and i stopped at ice & slice due to a moment of weakness. what can i do? no chocolate and no ice cream for me, so at least i can pamper myself with sorbet, right?

anyhoo, i was thinking abt getting the usual scoop of passion on a scoop of mango, when i saw IT. it was love at first sight. it was destiny. it was the whole lot. what was waiting for me on the other side of that magical counter of glass was a tub of whiskey sorbet!

and bunnies let me tell you: fuck it was good.

--

oh, nearly forgot: chris, FUCK OFF! you weak lil piece of shit, stop quoting the ends of my fucken stories when i'm trying to tell them. stop reading the bloody blog!

freetime entertainment project

i started out a new long term self-entertainment project a lil while ago.

my flatmate's lil brother moved down from [insert here the name of a lil countryside nsw piece of shit town that i can't be bothered to remember] a couple of weeks ago and is looking for a place of his own. in the meanwhile he's living in the house. he's a very faggy cool cat. entertaining lil bugger really.

well anyway, he's very wanna-be-cranky so i've taken on a project to constantly call him 'sunshine' and see how long it takes for him to really get the shits abt it.

a week has passed and it's already starting to eat him a bit. i will keep you posted.

The 'L' Word [tm]

alright. this issue has been popping up in so many d&m's(*) lately that i just have to grab the bull by the horns and blog my own view on it.

i believe that there is a really simple rule to it: the 'L' word should be said somewhere between the 1/2 year and 1 year marks. not before or later. and this goes with both sexes.

if the 'L' word comes up before the critical half a year mark,
[a] s/he doesn't really mean it
[b] s/he is a freak
[c] both of the above (which is usually what i place my bet on)

if the one year mark is passed and s/he still can't say the word, there is only one explanation to it and that is that s/he doesn't. love that is.

there. tp has spoken.

(* d&m = deep and meaningful conversation)