oh dear...

i have a bad feeling, that after friday and saturday, sunday might be rather painful. i survive that far at all.

i just received a series of sms messages planning out saturday. heh. looks like there is a pre-party with the good ole boys of the boozing society in the very heart of helsinki, followed by a night out in a wanky helsinki night club notorious for all its wanna-be-famous ppl. and knowing these old drunks, there will surely be an after party as well.

i am dragging out at least one shit hot female thingie, miss s with me, and it seems quite likely that there will be another excellent example of finnish beauty miss m joining in with us. the more the merrier. and i can assure you, bunnies, that after a soaking in heavy vodka marinade, these ladies are v. good value!

heh. that reminds me. last july, i was pissing up with miss m and one of her best friends. the plan was just to show up at her friend's place, drink a sophisticated glass of wine and continue to a nice and sophisticated night club, have a drink or two and head home. right.

after gawd knows how many bottles of wine, we're still sitting at the kitchen table, in our underwear, skulling down wine straight out of the bottle and talking abt sex. i consider myself being pretty fucken frank, but hell, these chickies were making even me blush.

eventually we dolled up and headed to the city. the night itself, after we left miss m's friend's place, was a total catastrophy. but i have to admit that looking back the next morning, it all seemed a lot better: i woke up between two half nekkid, absolutely fucken stunning women and a drop dead gorgeous guy. heh. good shit i tell you.

let's see what happens this time, bunnies.

i still think this is funny

i gave a mug like this to someone speshul before i left sydney. i thought it was very appropriate since he is quite the princess...

quoting someone i know: "boring as batshite".

i don't think lapland really has that much to offer beyond reindeer stew and tacky souvenirs. which both are quite excellent as such, but entertainment-wise they wear out pretty fucken quickly.

the weird thing is, that there no people around my age in here at all. the ones that were, are either knocked up - for the third, fourth or seventh time - at home or have moved away ages ago. i dun think this poor excuse of a city has much to offer for anyone.

i'm using this opportunity to soothe my aching and beaten up body to get ready for some serious partying next weekend. i wonder, do they already offer hot swap livers behind the drug store counter?

can't - sit - still

restless as fuck. can't escape the feeling, that i'm missing shit when i'm so far away from home. the fucked up thing is that i'm supposed to be at home right now. but no.

i feel rootless (yehyeh, pun intended) in sydney, cause all my history is somewhere so far away. yet when i come here, where the little history i do have is closer, i realise that my present is not here. right now, in the present moment, my home is sydney.

the present is different. present is always volatile. present is choises, present is active. when i'm away, i'm forced to be passive. i feel like i'm queuing into the ladies room while they're serving the cocktails of my life out in the garden.

then again, i think this is good. it's good that i get some distance and perspective to some of the things that have been troubling my mind lately. big issues are difficult to see clearly if you're standing too close.

when you remove the frame of the everyday bs, you suddenly see what really matters. you can see little things that you were blind to before. and some things that seemed to fill the entire horizon shrink into right proportions. i guess it takes time and i'm sure that i'll be able to see a lot clearer picture a few weeks from now.

right now, all i see is a lack of arms around me at night. and i have a bad feeling that only that certain pair of beautiful arms can produce the safe, warm feeling that i'm missing.

i already know that the clearer that image gets, the more restless it will make me. i dare say i'll be counting the days to get back to sydney, just as manically as i counted the days left to my flight to finland.

[search and destroy: operation liver]

alrighty, looks like my time table for the rest of the week is pretty much set. i'm training back to civilization on thu night so i'll be back in tampere on friday morning.

• friday: tampere rok city
  time to tame tampere for good. few of my good ole fucked up friends are dragging their arses from jyväskylä to tampere and we're planning to enjoy a rather heavily intoxicated night out and behave extremely badly.
  
  i'm not entirely sure who's coming, but one of the guys is one of my best friends who i've known for something like 15 yrs. a married father of two, but still behaves just as badly as he did back when we were still teens. luv em. they're truly fucked up.
  
  
• saturday: helsinki cadenza
  (just in case i survive friday that is) i'm dragging my arse to helsinki, bunking at a dear friend's place and drag her out to tame helsinki in turn.
  
  this particular chicky kicks arse, and usually the arses getting kicked are male. so very entertaining to point and laugh at the poor bastards getting slaughtered. should be fun.
  

so, bunnies in helsinki, i unfortunately missed the blog meeting some time ago, but how abt a piss-up on saturday?

lbts slogan

better late than never...

«you better get inside
life between the shoeboxes»

slogan by sloganizer [via]

labels

blame sauna, the hatchery of useless deep thoughts that i just have to share with you bunnies. here comes:

one-night stand/fuck-buddy/boyfriend/partner/whatever... what do you call that significant (or not so significant) other? is there a universal set of rules that can be applied when trying to solve this problem? who is what and when do people transfer from one box to another?

well, as you prolly guessed already, you're abt to hear my precious theory on this shit.

first of all, i think it's time based:

• one night stand = one shag
  
• fuck buddy = several shags
• date = one or more dates
• boyfriend = several months
• partner = several years

second big give away is how you talk to or abt them:

• one night stand = "nice arse, wanna fuck?"
• fuck buddy = "hey, you're no genious, but you're quite the cunning linguistic..."
• date = "the dinner was fantastic, maybe we'll to do this again some time..."
• boyfriend = "i'm looking forward to falling asleep in your arms at night so that i can wake up next to you in the morning..."
• partner = "oh, we do these trips every year. we've seen more than dozen countries so far, but there is still so many on the list..."

unfortunately i'm too old and boring to do one night stands... not that i'd have anything against them as an idea, i just happen to enjoy the attention, the flirt and the tease more than the potential result of an average fuck. so instead of going to bed with someone i wouldn't want to wake up next to, i skip the rest and just enjoy the tease phase of it.

and as for fuck buddies, i don't really know if i'd want to do them either. to me sex is a physical way of showing my feelings towards another person. to desire a person, i need to like that person a lot. and if i like someone enough to want to have sex with them, i do think that i would want to have all of him, not just his cock. no matter how nice it might be. besides, the best part is the sweet morning cuddle that suddenly turns into an insanely horny morning fuck. that just doesn't happen with one night stands or fuck buddies. tho i have to admit, that i haven't been in a situation where i'd need to make this call for yrs and yrs, so this is all theory based. i'll keep you updated if i change my opinion on this one.

heh. i was concentrating on dating for the whole of last year and that was kinda fucked up. wonderful, but fucked up. but that's a longer story. yes, i do love a quality date with a hottie in a suit. now that i think abt it, i think i've only done one or two *real* dates in my life. like, you know, the usual movie set up where a guy walks up to a chick to ask her out. or asks for a phone number and then calls to ask her out. i dunno, if i come off as scary ballbraker, but atm i can only recall one person, who has had the balls to ask to take me out for dinner so that it wasn't covered in a "how abt a nice night out as mates (that might end up being something different if you don't bite my head off...)?

i did the boyfriend thing for the beginning of this year and it was wonderful as well. and i have to admit that from these five different categories, boyfriend would be the one i enjoy having around most. you know, cuddles and falling asleep in each other's arms, agro quarrel sex, make up sex, that sweet little gesture of him bringing you a coffee in bed in the morning when you least expect him to... the little things. that's what counts in the end. and that's what you miss afterwards.

i would love to meet a boyfriend that would one day turn into a partner, but i'm not too optimistic on this one. i'm way too difficult and picky to expect this to happen. but i guess you never know, do you? maybe there is a fuckwit out there, who can balance me out and make me happy just like i can make him the happiest guy on this planet and then we can just drive each other insane as well as insanely horny and fuck each others brains out for as long as we can still figure out which part goes where.

*sigh* men, oh wonderful, fucked up, men. what would i do without you?

*pa-pow*

that was a quick mid-summer.

due to a sudden death in the family, the rest of our mid-summer festivities got cancelled. it's time to leave eastern finland behind and head to lapland, the land of lap dances. well, actually the land of reindeer, but lap dances just sounded better.

i'm getting a lil bit fed up with this constant traveling from one place to another. first by plane, then by train and now by car. *sigh*

i'll leave the rest of the pissing up to you bunnies, skull a few for me too.

mid-summer rok

say what you will bunnies, but finnish summer is fucken beautiful. tomorrow is mid-summer's day, so it's all bbq, alcohol and and behaving badly. sounds pretty good if you ask me.

i did my 4hrs for 45€ train ride from tampere to lapinlahti today. i made the mistake of enjoying a cider or few in the restaurant car only to find out, that not only was the cider fucken expensive along with the trip itself, but i had to pay 1€(!!) at pieksämäki train station to get into the ladies room to seek relief. for that money i would have expected a gorgeous young lil muscle thing to hold my hand while peeing. bloody hell.

when we arrived to my aunt's place, the first thing she does is mix a punch from pirtu (98% alcohol). heh. i have a feeling that this mid-summer is going to be just fine.

go on bunnies, skull down a beer for me and enjoy the sunshine. cheeppis!

fin: 6 sanaa

koroillaan huojuen, hän kantoi pakattua laukkuaan.

pakko kai tähän sitten oli osallistautua, kun kerran kaikki muutkin. tosin oli pakko tehdä suomeksi, kun lontoon murre vaatii kovasti enemmän sanoja.

ten years worth of sparkling wine

bad influence, those finns. now i'm hungover with headache and shit. not cool, not cool at all.

you know that you're getting old as fuck, when you hear yourself saying that you haven't seen someone for ten years. another alarming sign is when the usual catching up bs requires years instead of just dates: "well, first, in -95... and then, in -98... oh hang on, was it -99...?"

i met up with these two lovely ladies yesterday, that i used to go to school with. both delightfully twisted and funny as fuck. of course the original plan was to go out and have a cider in the sun, but somehow that one glass turned into a few bottles. i have no idea how that happened.

catching up started with men, moved on to sex pretty quickly and stayed there for the rest of the night. suddenly all the posh people who had been enjoying the sun around us, started to dissolve into thin air. not that we were at all that loud, but you know, always a lil bit offensive. besides, we had to get the third one of us free from that bloody apron. she did do a swell job with carrying in more food and drinks tho. or at least that's how my poor head feels atm.

which reminds me:
you bunnies reading this, who i know in real life, should bloody well start reporting in! only too often i start to tell something just to hear the other person finish the story after confessing that they read my blog. trippy shit i tell you.

besides, i would be more than curious to find out what kind of a sick freak do you have to be, to be interested by my mindless rants. or disgusted. whichever brings you here. heh. let me know by dropping a line to lifebetweentheshoeboxes [at] gmail [dot] com. that's a good bunny.

back to sex(ual frustration) and the city

i happened to watch an episode of sex and the city on telly last night. kinda exotic since i haven't been watching telly at all for the past 6 months. like not at all.

i think it was one of the very first episodes (i only saw the end of it) and one of the very first meetings with mr. big. heh.

the funny shit was, that after she got pissy at him, she stormed out of the restaurant and her only worry was to ruin the expensive pair of shoes by having to walk too far. and after waking up in a wrong place she decides to make herself feel better by buying shoes. i find it scary how easy it is to relate to her. shoes, the re-usable prozac of single life.

to quote carrie: "i realised that i've left the boys of my past behind, but i haven't yet met the men of my future". i think i know exactly what she means...

couple of other sex and the city quotes:

miranda: "you haven't had a crush since big."
carrie: "big wasn't a crush. he was a crash."

charlotte: "how can you forget a guy you've slept with?"
carrie: "toto, i don't think we're in single-digits anymore."

carrie: "i'm thinking balls are to men, what purses are to women. it's just a little bag but we'd feel naked in public without it."

--

heh, talking abt shoes... i managed to make a total arse of myself again yesterday. tho it's not my fault that this friggen country is not made for stiletto heels!

i went shopping with mum and on our way home, we stopped over at alko (bottle-o) and bought a bottle of talisker. so far so (very) good.

well, i'm carrying a massive heap of shopping and shit as we were walking out of the shopping complex, and then my fucken heel gets stuck on the rubber carpet! frig. there i was, dragging the bloody 3m by 6m carpet behind me cause i had too much shit to carry to untangle my pretty lil shoe from it. my mum's pissing herself pointing and laughing and not doing a thing to help me. bloody hell.

who designs those stupid rubber things anyway? what kind of a sick idea is it to make the lil holes the exact right size for a stiletto heel to slip in? grh.

yay for finnish laziness!

ok, let me be all patriotic and shit for a lil while longer. just a lil while.

i'm going to eastern finland for mid-summer and thought that it might be an idea to buy tickets beforehand. just in case mid-summer's eve got rather busy on the trains.

i thought that i'd have to drag my arse to the ticket office to buy it, but no. the website of the national railway company is fucken fantastic. i could type in the trip i wish to make straight away on the index page, then it gave me several options to choose from and after i found the one i liked, i could buy (with an option to use more than 5 different methods of paying) and get this: print out the ticket myself after paying! no queuing what so ever. i got my tickets in less than 5 mins with no hassle at all. fucken fantastic.

mind you, the quality of the service means that the prices are fucken ridiculous. 4 hrs on the train, one way costs me abt 45€!

i feel raped.

tales from finland

there are moments in life, when you don't know quite how to take things. and then you point and laugh. long and hard.

i went to sauna with my mum, straight away on sunday. there we are, walking into the finnish official temple of relaxation and serenity in the basement of our house. carrying a towel in one hand and a dry apple cider in the other.

mum rushes into the sauna, while i'm trying to get out of my clothes, that still carry the dust and grime of several different continents, not even mentioning filthy airports. as i turn around to follow her, i face the most weirdest sight i have seen for a long time. mum has just stepped out of the shower and she's pulling on a fur winter hat before stepping into the sauna. fur winter hat. sauna. wtf?

"oh you little brat you, don't you dare laugh. there is a perfectly sane explanation to this. really!" well, i'm already well into pointing and laughing to the point that my tummy hurts and it's difficult to stand still on the slippery shower floor. heh. crazy mum. apparently, she get's a headache from the big heat difference in the sauna, so she wears a winter hat to prevent that. and apparently the winter hat works too.

funny as fuck anyhow. a fur winter hat in a sauna. this time she's really lost her marbles. love her tho. my mum rocks.

correction

grh. bloody information age my arse.

to keep my old mobile number, i would have had to wait for a week without a phone. fuck that. so bunnies, i have a new mobile number, old one doesn't work.

comment or email me if you don't get my 'here's my new mobile number' sms(*).

(*= this is for the people that i know irl or who would for some other reason have my phone number. just in case some poor fucker thinks i'm putting out for everyone. again.)

yay for finnish summer!

mmm... karjalanpiirakkaa. yumyumYUM. say what you will bunnies, but finnish food is fucken delicious!

oh, just in case any of you bunnies (that i actually know in real life) has tried to contact me through my phone, i'm afraid that it's not going to be any good at the moment. as i marched towards the check-in desk at sydney airport, i realised that i lost my finnish sim card along all the other shit that went with my dear hello kitty handbag that was stolen in december. i am going to go and get a new sim card with the same number today, so hopefully i will have my old number operating today.

oh and i finally got my suitcase! it was delivered around 11pm last night. so it's all good.

now it's time for me to finish my morning coffee, slip into my trainers and go for a nice relaxing morning jog in the beautiful finnish forrest and enjoy that gorgeous summer day outside. i love this country.

sauna is where it's at!

man. that trip was hard core. i was so friggen tired that when i finally got to tampere last night, i don't think my head had enough time to hit the pillow before i passed out.

my mum rocks. she picks me up from the airport and as i sit on the backseat of the car, the first thing she does is hand me a bottle of salmiakki vodka. then a block of fazer blue chocolate and to finish it off, a dark rye loaf sandwich with salmon and polar cheese on it. heaven.

airlines piss me off tho. there i am, tired as hell after 38hrs of fucken flying, just waiting to get my suitcase so that i can finally fuck off the airport. then the loud speakers go: "passenger p, passenger p, could you please contact the finnair arrival desk." fuck. my suitcase is still at bloody heathrow. i knew i hated that airport for a reason. grh.

today, all i've done is eat real finnish dark rye loaf with polar cheese, walk in a real finnish forrest, had a picnic out in the sun with my mum and then sat in a real finnish sauna for an hour or so. fantastic day. couldn't ask for a thing more.

...except maybe my suitcase. i would definitely like to have my suitcase here. right now. bloody british airways. damn them. damn them to hell.

jolly good, how about a cup of tea?

phew. london: done.

man, i hate these friggen "feed me a fistful of coins and i may operate for a few mins" internet booths. but then again, what can i do? 3,5 hrs before my plane leaves, so i have to entertain myself with something. but i can tell you bunnies, this poor excuse of a keyboard is evil.

london was awesome. even though it's the official capital of shitty weather, it was an absolutely beautiful day. i walked around and enjoyed a fantastic full english breakfast in the sun while enjoying the view of the millenium bridge and then od'd on fantastic artworks at tate modern. its fucken mindboggling what they have there.

anyway, i think it's time for me to beeb my way through the security check and get myself a bit of that heartwarming rubberglove action.

ps. owwie. hurty feet.

rightio bunnies, i'm nearly off...

i prolly wont be able to access a computer before i leave for the airport, so i reckon that the next time i'll be blogging, it'll be from good ole tampere rok city.

i can assure you, that i'll whinge abt the horrors of heathrow as soon as i can reach a keyboard.

so until then bunnies, so long and thanks for all the fish!

p a n i c

wow. done.

all my uni work is done and handed in. i moved all my shit into a storage yesterday and all that's left to do is to stuff my shoes into my suitcase and head for the airport tomorrow. sunshine promised to take me out for dindin tonight, so that'll be a nice way to spend the last day before i go.

my work evolved a bit yesterday during the assessment. i set INNER BEAUTY up on the wall as in the pictures before and after i had finished my rant, the teacher goes: "i'm sorry, but i just HAVE to do this..." and he walks up to the wall and removes the 'o' letter from the title so that the wall read:

INNER BEAUTY

it's what's inside that c unts

another quote from this morning: we were sitting at the bar with a mate of mine and couple of teachers. this funny lil woman walks up to our table and starts ranting on something to one of the teachers. she's making absolutely no sense, but then again she never does. as she walks off, the teacher goes: "she's a lovely woman that one... just completely MAD."

heh. art schools, gotta luv em.